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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 11 Apr 12 - 02:08 PM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 02:06 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 01:45 PM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 12:50 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 12:48 PM
Amos 11 Apr 12 - 12:46 PM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 12:41 PM
GUEST,Kassogtha 11 Apr 12 - 11:47 AM
Ebbie 11 Apr 12 - 10:47 AM
Little Hawk 11 Apr 12 - 10:06 AM
Dave Hanson 11 Apr 12 - 09:38 AM
Rapparee 11 Apr 12 - 08:21 AM
Rapparee 11 Apr 12 - 06:49 AM
Megan L 11 Apr 12 - 05:38 AM
Musket 11 Apr 12 - 05:20 AM
Janie 11 Apr 12 - 12:14 AM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 11:41 PM
gnu 10 Apr 12 - 10:22 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 12 - 08:26 PM
Amos 10 Apr 12 - 07:10 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 04:44 PM
Bill D 10 Apr 12 - 04:26 PM
gnu 10 Apr 12 - 03:54 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 03:30 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 03:28 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 03:27 PM
Amos 10 Apr 12 - 03:04 PM
Will Fly 10 Apr 12 - 03:04 PM
Amos 10 Apr 12 - 03:03 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 02:56 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 02:50 PM
Little Hawk 10 Apr 12 - 02:43 PM
gnu 10 Apr 12 - 01:58 PM
Amos 10 Apr 12 - 01:44 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 10 Apr 12 - 11:55 AM
Rapparee 10 Apr 12 - 09:48 AM
Acme 09 Apr 12 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 09 Apr 12 - 09:07 PM
Rapparee 09 Apr 12 - 09:05 PM
Little Hawk 09 Apr 12 - 06:42 PM
gnu 09 Apr 12 - 05:54 PM
khandu 09 Apr 12 - 05:22 PM
khandu 09 Apr 12 - 05:19 PM
Amos 09 Apr 12 - 02:20 PM
gnu 09 Apr 12 - 01:55 PM
Acme 09 Apr 12 - 01:25 PM
GUEST,YOUR MOTHER MOAB 09 Apr 12 - 12:53 PM
Amos 09 Apr 12 - 12:39 PM
Amos 09 Apr 12 - 12:35 PM
Little Hawk 09 Apr 12 - 10:44 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 02:08 PM

YEt you cannot name the font of all BS, or dare not. I, whose heart is pure, have the strength of ten therefore, and name it without fear:

Bookman Old Style 14


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 02:06 PM

Pish-tush and pshaw to your puerile imitations, Sir Hawk. They are as dross in a high wind, all excitement and no substance.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 01:45 PM

Amos plunges ahead, committed to folly and entirely enthralled by his self-promoting delusions of grandeur and his esteemed entitlement as a supposed inner acolyte and faithful servant of the Mother. His ashes will one day join those of others like him, mouldering under the dust of forgotten centuries and his memories will be lost in the wind that he inherits; thus will he pay the price of folly and be swept up in the timeless tribulations of entropy and darkness forever.

or...until his next lifetime! I predict he will be born as the son of a long-bearded and harsh Mullah in some small village in Afghanistan. He will grow up under stern direction, becoming deeply devout, and will devote the rest of his years to destroying invader infidels, keeping women behind the veil, resisting all forms of innovation, blowing up symbols of western decadence, and venerating Allah in every way possible. That is...Allah will have replaced "the Mother", you see... ;-)

I, on the other hand, will have reincarnated as an idealistic Norwegian woman who takes up a career in art and music and has a simply marvelous time. ;-) Our paths will not cross in that lifetime. I've already paid off all that karma.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 12:50 PM

Little Hawk plunges ahead, committed to folly and entirely enthralled by his self-caused plunge into ignominy and ill repute for having tourned his back on the Mother. His ashes will join the dust of centuries and his memories will be lost in the wind that he inherits; thus will he pay the price of folly and be swept up in the timeless tribulations of entropy and darkness forever.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 12:48 PM

I am being ware at this very moment, Amos. And what a lovely feeling it is! ;-) Everyone should be ware as often as possible, in my opinion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 12:46 PM

LH:

Thou dost mock, and yet knowest not that thou mockest. Such is the dark and bewildered fate of he who transgresses against the font of all BS. Beware, oh foolish mortal, beware.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 12:41 PM

Who are you addressing, Kassogtha? I don't recall mocking you. Are you acquainted with the Great Old Ones? Or dread Cthulhu? If so, I wouldn't dream of mocking you. The Necronomicon has made it quite clear that that sort of thing is unwise in the extreme!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Kassogtha
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 11:47 AM

Do not mock Us, puny one, lest We devour you through all time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 10:47 AM

How things have changed. I remember when our Killing the Thread thread got killed for unwieldiness.

Now we will be watching for the magic moment when MOAB collects 44444 votes. Almost as exciting as watching one's dashboard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 10:06 AM

Wow. Impressive stuff, Rap. Keep in mind, though, which Mother we are talking about here. I have no quarrels with the Mother of All Being...that is, the Divine Mother, as spoken of in the Hindu traditions...or Mother Mary, as spoken of in Christianity, for example.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 09:38 AM

Fanny's your aunt and Bob's your mothers brother.

Dave H


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 08:21 AM

Look, even in the Cthäat Aquadingen it is written, "Thy Mother is thy Mother, and to abandon Her wilt bring upon thee the wrath of The Thing Without A Name, and It shall eat thy soul and purge it through Its awful body, and then thou shalt be picks up and thy Mother shall give thee a good shaking and throughout Endless Ages thou shalt be eaten and shat forth by That Without A Name."

This does not sound pleasant, but well, to each his own....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 06:49 AM

Look, LH. It's written in 4 Corinthians 36-38:
Do not annoy thy parents, especially thy Mother, for should thou do so thy time upon the Earth shall be nasty, brutish, and very short."

And in the "Tao T'chin" Lao Tzao said, "Your parents are your connection to Eternity. Do not offend them if you would achieve the Infinite."

Buddha wrote, "There is but One Mother for All and the All derives from that One Mother. This is the Greatest Wisdom and those who do not understand it shall be on The Wheel forever."

Every great thinker the World has ever known is against you. You are accumulating bad Karma and Mortal sins hand over fist. Your choice....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Megan L
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 05:38 AM

Now Little Hawk remember Granny Dom comes frae Bonny Scotland she is no Little Hawk but a flamin great Golden Eagle. As for uncle Tam weel he wis a riviter on the Clyde they wan day asked him to have a try at thon new fangled welding weel as usuall got a bit carried awa and cut the hull of 534 clean in half of course the pit her back thegither and never did tell Queen Mary her namesake had for a brief time been QM 1 and 2


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Musket
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 05:20 AM

Most kids where I come from had lots of "Uncles."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 11 Apr 12 - 12:14 AM

Ahhh.

It is good to know that some things never change.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 11:41 PM

Well, yes, Rapparee...I admit there is a danger that it could go that far.

But I really don't expect that it will.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 10:22 PM

Think it over?


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Subject: My Cousin-In-Law's Girlfriend's Cousin of MOAB
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 08:26 PM

See? It could become "The Hairdresser of My Cousin-In-Law's Best Friend's Aunt's Great-Half-Uncle's Maternal Grandfather's Great-Aunt's Mother of All BS Threads" -- or worse.

STOP, Little Hawk, in the name of love!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 07:10 PM

Oh, for sure; having exposed yourself to the most profound and virulent calumnies known to Mom. Some kinda fun, I am sure. If you keep laughing up your sleeve like that you are likely to fall in, and THEN where will you be? Huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 04:44 PM

No, Bill, he's much too humble and harassed a man to ever dream of posting here. He's been beaten down by the vicissitudes of life, living in a crummy town, and suffering through a bad marriage. He barely dares to life his head above the desk.

I just wanted him to have a brief moment of recognition, that's all. A brief hour of...well, not glory...but at least...acknowledgement?

gnu - You're quite right. Granny does wear army boots. Remember the "Hell's Grannys" skit on Monty Python's? She's even meaner than they were.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 04:26 PM

Oh lordy... we expect Uncle Harold to start posting now, I suppose...

Little Hawk, who seems to 'know' him, might have an inkling.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:54 PM

Yer grandmother wears army boots. And, Uncle Harry was a mean drunk. Gramma could tell ya stories if she could remember thru her alcoholic haze.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:30 PM

But, my good fellow, I am not experiencing any stress here. I am chuckling down my sleeve, I assure you. I am having fun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:28 PM

that should read: "wields tremendous power"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:27 PM

It was Granny's thread, Will, not Auntie's. I'm sad to say that the more fanatical inmates of the Mother of all BS Threads prevailed somehow upon the management here (whether by bribery, threats, or collusion, I can't say) to subsume the Grandmother's posts into the Mother of All BS threads. A shocking abuse of power! ;-) However, those posts are still there in that thread, so Granny yet lives, I am happy to say. She wield tremendous power! This is why they fear her so. The Mother is a mere feeble noise in the wind compared to the Grandmother.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:04 PM

A crock of a crock is still a crock, old son. Let Harold fade and crumble over the far edge of the radar screen. He drank too much for his own good, anyway.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Will Fly
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:04 PM

Hey, LH - what happened to Auntie's thread?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 03:03 PM

Amos has obviously bribed or otherwise influenced one of the moderators to combine the Grandmother of all BS Threads into this one. A cheap trick. A shoddy maneuver. One that would be taken only by the terminally insecure and hidebound sort of mentality...but...(shrug)...do I really care?



You are growing paranoid in your own delusions, my friend. I suggest a vacation for you, to re-center yourself and regain your composure. All this stress is threatening to deprive Mom of one of her most brilliant sprats, so please take the necessary steps to restore your familial equanimity.


A


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Subject: BS: The Uncle of all BS Threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 02:56 PM

This is the Uncle's Thread. The Uncle of all BS. Uncles don't tend to get much notice in this world. They are seldom mentioned, seldom much appreciated. This is sad.

So....this is the Uncle of BS's brief moment in the Sun. It may only last a minute or two. Maybe less!

Savour it while you can. ;-D

The Uncle of all BS is named Harold. Uncle Harold of BS. He is Mom's elder brother. He works as an accountant, and lives in Scranton, New York. It's not as bad as living in Schenectady! But still, pretty damn awful. His wife has little respect for him, and his kids barely know he's alive. His work is boring and repetitive. He has few friends. His dog loves him. His future looks like a lot more of the same, but what if the dog gets old and dies? Then what?

Spare a moment's thought and a prayer, for the unappreciated and unsung Uncle of All BS....poor Harold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 02:50 PM

Now, watch for further relatives of "Mom" to make cameo appearances. They too, after all, deserve their moment in the Sun! ;-) Even if it's only a very short moment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 02:43 PM

My "delusions", my good sir, occur by my own fully conscious choice, not by default. I am in control of them rather than they being in control of me. Therefore they are merely enjoyable fantasies that I play with, composed for my own amusement (and perhaps that of others), they are not dominating obsessions which place demands upon me. I wish I could say the same for the delusions of some others here. ;-) Note that it is those others who, for fear of damage to their particular form of delusion, insisted on recombining my independent thread into this one in order to preserve this one's supposed sanctity.

Who is more deluded? He who demands that another's freely expressed imagination be suppressed and proscribed or he who wishes merely to add his own imaginative views to those of others around him?

I have not censored any of you, nor would I if I had the power to. Some of you have chosen to censor me in a certain respect, by closing my thread and combining it into this one. Look to yourselves, therefore, for the erection of delusory defense mechanisms, not to me.

We all like to have fun, correct? ;-) But certain individuals here insist that the fun must only happen in the specific way that suits them. That's the problem with little dictators everywhere....they only see the humor in their own form of "fun"...and then pass a law or a decree to make it so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 01:58 PM

"your respective delusions" ???? Are you the pot or the kettle? Have you been smokin pot or makin tea with it? A fine kettle of fish I say!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 01:44 PM

Sure thing, BD. Calculus, right. I think you have to pass long division first.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 11:55 AM

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter! I can't spend any more time here this week as I have a calculus test on Friday for which I must study, but good luck to all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 12 - 09:48 AM

And the ears to Stilly and Eisely. Olay!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 09:47 PM

A few thousand posts more and she'll be another character in the menagerie, along with the freds and Gluon et al.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 09:07 PM

I dedicate this, the 44,400th post, to khandu the Merciless (or whatever he calls himself these days).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 09:05 PM

As my old friend Elvis used to say, "You ain't nothin' but a hound dog."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 06:42 PM

What utter silliness. ;-) What amazes me is that you people seem to take your "Mother" seriously, when all she is is a digital construct welded together out of your respective delusions of your own grandeur...or your excess of free time...it's a bit hard to say which is predominant.

Amos has obviously bribed or otherwise influenced one of the moderators to combine the Grandmother of all BS Threads into this one. A cheap trick. A shoddy maneuver. One that would be taken only by the terminally insecure and hidebound sort of mentality...but...(shrug)...do I really care?

Well, I would if it mattered. But it doesn't.

In any case, I consider Granny to be in charge around here, regardless of what you silly people say about it. Your puffery and your grandiose threats mean nothing to me. Granny Dom rules this roost.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 05:54 PM

Chopped liver here?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 05:22 PM

PS...I salute thee, Amos, for you strongly held and boldly written denunciation of the goab and of her misguided and to be pitied creator!
SALUTE!

khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 05:19 PM

Wha' hoppen'd? MOAB hath surely swallowed up the bogus "goab", digested her and hath shat her into the dungheap from which she was spawned! I am agog! My head doth truly spin like the proverbial pair of frilly purple panties! I am drunk with glee!! Haw! and again I say "Haw!".

a very proud of MOAB khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 02:20 PM

Not to mention the matricidal turncoat bestiality of Chongo.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 01:55 PM

Mzybe he has too many multiple personalites for one thread. Maybe they are intermingaling... the dumbness of Shane is putting strange ideas in his heads.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 01:25 PM

Whoa. She sounds kinda pissed. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,YOUR MOTHER MOAB
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 12:53 PM

Little Hawk. YOU WERE WARNED, MY SON.

Don't fool around with Mother MOAB. I will not be diminished or diluted by your feeble attempts at spinoffs.
This is NOT network television.
This is PURE BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 12:39 PM

Ach, Leedle Hack, you are in no position to talk karma after what you have done to your own mother!! Banned you should be!! Such trash from that mouth of yours, I can't believe you'd talk to your own mudder with it! Oy, such a good fambly for you to turn out so rotten, you schlemiel. Why can't you be like khandu? Or at least get a good job like your twin brother Butthead? Him, a mother can be proud of. You, you schmuch, can just stay in the basement and play mit your dinglicheit, and make up such gobbage about your Mom you should be ashamed of!! Better you had been born a ditch digger!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Grandmother of all BS Threads!
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 12:35 PM

Little Hawk has shown his true colors, and they are food-coloring and cheap vinyl to the core. This is the latest in his mismatched ventures into shallow self-glorification, egoistical flag-waving and spurious triviality as a life-long commitment. He brings a sense of disgust and a shadow of insulted didain to the sacred halls of MOAB and has revealed himself as a communist spy and six kinds of turncoat, a cheap fly-by-night whose keyboard will lie down for anyone's shekel, if only they will applaud afterwards. I say fie, fie.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Grandmother of all BS Threads!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Apr 12 - 10:44 AM

Wi' Granny Dom here, there's little or nae chance that onyone will dare get oot o' line!


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