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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 25 Jul 11 - 04:50 PM
Acme 25 Jul 11 - 04:38 PM
gnu 25 Jul 11 - 04:29 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jul 11 - 03:49 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 11 - 03:40 PM
Acme 25 Jul 11 - 03:09 PM
Amos 25 Jul 11 - 02:48 PM
Amos 25 Jul 11 - 01:53 PM
Little Hawk 25 Jul 11 - 12:11 PM
Amos 25 Jul 11 - 11:42 AM
Little Hawk 25 Jul 11 - 11:20 AM
Amos 25 Jul 11 - 11:14 AM
Rapparee 25 Jul 11 - 10:26 AM
Little Hawk 25 Jul 11 - 12:36 AM
Rapparee 25 Jul 11 - 12:27 AM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 11:30 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 10:08 PM
Amos 24 Jul 11 - 10:00 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 07:47 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 07:42 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 07:37 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 05:06 PM
Amos 24 Jul 11 - 05:06 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 04:59 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 04:43 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 04:11 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 03:58 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 03:09 PM
Amos 24 Jul 11 - 02:14 PM
gnu 24 Jul 11 - 02:02 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 11 - 01:37 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 01:08 PM
Amos 24 Jul 11 - 01:00 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 11 - 12:31 PM
Amos 24 Jul 11 - 12:21 PM
Acme 24 Jul 11 - 11:00 AM
Amos 23 Jul 11 - 11:49 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 11 - 10:59 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 11 - 10:59 PM
Acme 23 Jul 11 - 07:35 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 11 - 07:30 PM
Amos 23 Jul 11 - 02:22 PM
Little Hawk 23 Jul 11 - 01:02 PM
Acme 23 Jul 11 - 10:27 AM
Rapparee 22 Jul 11 - 11:18 PM
Amos 22 Jul 11 - 10:15 PM
Acme 22 Jul 11 - 07:46 PM
Rapparee 22 Jul 11 - 05:52 PM
Eiseley 22 Jul 11 - 05:49 PM
gnu 22 Jul 11 - 02:44 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 04:50 PM

Ecstatic... can you rub the dog with ClingFree to remove the staticÉ.

There goes my keyboard again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 04:38 PM

The dogs didn't realize that spell check doesn't detect syntax errors. They beg your pardon, and ask MOM not to MOP/no mopping the kitchen floor. Cinnamon found some of that superior cheddar cheese crumbs today and was ecstatic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 04:29 PM

I heard she prefers Seven Inch Stud and it WOULD cheer her up more than playing cards but that's in her business.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 03:49 PM

More glad than you know! ;-)

As for the disappearance of Amos, Chongo has intimated on several occasions that he thinks that would be a very good idea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 03:40 PM

Why is Mom moping on or about the kitchen floor? Can't you cheer her up, maybe play some canasta with her or something? She really likes Seven Card Stud.

My creation "Amos" was fictional to begin with, and I'm seriously tempted to stop thinking about him and then he'll disappear. But that would leave a hole in the creation I call "San Diego" and that would cause the "butterfly effect" and affect all of my creation. Oh, sure, I could prevent that but it's too much trouble.

Aren't you all glad that I don't require you to worship and adore me?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 03:09 PM

MOM, the dogs want you to stop sweeping and moping the kitchen floor while it's so hot and they're stuck in the house. It's good recreation to sniff and lick spots where any food was dropped.

They say "thank you!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 02:48 PM

THe addition of the cognate forms allows me to hazard a guess that Rapparee will becom famous one day as "the surry with the fringe on top". Although this may not actually occur, given that this is not a widely known usage to begin with.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 01:53 PM

sirrah

The Concise Oxford Dictionary of English Etymology | 1996 | T. F. HOAD | 195 words | © The Concise Oxford Dictionary of English Etymology 1996, originally published by Oxford University Press 1996.

sirrah: condescending or contemptuous term of address to men and boys. XVI. Early forms syrra, sirah, also serray, sirry, surry, later (XIX) siree, prob. alt. of late ME. disyll. pronunc. of SIRE.


It is found in generous application in the plays of Wm Shakespeare, and is attested as early as the 1500's.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 12:11 PM

Nobly put, sir, nobly put.

I was meaning to ask you about the word "sirrah" which you use not infrequently when engaging in verbal fencing with myself and Rapparee. Whence cameth this delightful word and what is its origion, derivation, and exact meaning (if I may wax a bit redundant)? I'm not saying I haven't heard the word before. I have. But I'd like to get your complete exposition on its cultural history and its salient features, if I may.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:42 AM

'Deed I do, Master Hawk, 'deed I do. Let us now acknowledge Sir Rapp's subscription to a universe of medioocre copies bereft of the innate sterling virtues of the originals. Sic transit virtuus mundi, I always say. Well, not always. But I said it here, anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:20 AM

LOL!!! You are so right, Amos. And he is not alone. I too have elected you as a model for an imaginary playmate I call "Amos". As with all copies, however, the actual sterling qualities of the original are sometimes lost or at least a bit distorted in the copying process, but I think you should still accept the flattery, even though it is hard to disentangle some of my wilder remarks about the person I call "Amos" without this additional understanding.

Do you follow me?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 11:14 AM

I think I am beginning to understand what is happening here. Just as LH has a whole series of strangely-garbed dream-critturs to argue with and talk to, so Rapparree, demonstrating his flawless instinct for quality, has elected me as a model for an imaginary playmate he calls Amos. As with all tawdry copies, the actual sterling qualities of the opriginal are lost in the copying process, but I suppose I should accept the flattery. It is hard to disentangle som eof his wilder remarks about the persons he calls Amos without this additional understanding.

I hope that this is not an early warning sign of the onset of some serious condition.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 10:26 AM

THEY pack .45's in shoulder holsters too?

Speaking of Scots, is that little furry thing in front of their kilts REALLY a fur codpiece?

And is the sgian dhu REALLY carried so that a Scot is always ready to perform a bris? Amos told me that all Scots are certified mohels.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 12:36 AM

Similar to Aussies and Scots, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 11 - 12:27 AM

No, no. Amos, being from SoCal, has a pink slip. I wear what commandos wear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 11:30 PM

No, no, he means your usual undergarment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 10:08 PM

Speeding ticket, you mean? Yeah, I got one of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 10:00 PM

Rapparree:

If you were to put that square rigger up for a distress sale value of, say, $150,000, you could get me my schooner and still clear one hundred large on the deal. And it would go in a hurry! All you need is the pink slip. You've got the pink slip, right?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 07:47 PM

I just found that a propane torch with a flame spreader gets rid of 'em right enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 07:42 PM

You're a brave man, Rap. Most men won't admit to having them dibs!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 07:37 PM

Lots of them. I think I got them working in the garden. Sometimes they itch and become all red and puffy, sort of like a mosquito bite, except you can see them moving around just under my skin, like chiggers. Uncomfortable little beasties.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 05:06 PM

Uh-huh. Exactly how many of these dibs do you have?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 05:06 PM

I once had the raw temerity to write the Canadian government enquiring as to what it would take to buy the Bluenose II. They politely assured me that it would never be for sale, reminding me of the fate of its forebear, the famous Bluenose, driven to her fate at the hands of an American buyer. Ah, nothing ventured AND nothing gained!! :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 04:59 PM

Told you I had dibs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 04:43 PM

Beauty, eh? ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 04:11 PM

Here's a nice little boat, Amos. But it's Canadian-built, so you shouldn't trust it too much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 03:58 PM

Well, it would be nice to know all of that, Rapparee. One never knows when one must be required to fight off pirates on the High Seas, after all. Do you carry a contingent of Marines for launching landing operations and seaborne raids? It never hurts to be prepared.

Amos, that is a LOVELY schooner! I applaud your excellent taste. Chongo is hoping to own one of those one day so he can party on the water the way Bogart did back in the day. He figures that if he avoids paying the rent for about the next 10 years, he can afford to make the down payment!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 03:09 PM

But that's all I have, Amos. Sorry.

LH: Do you want me to include in the gunners, powder monkeys, Marines and so on, or just the crew necessary to sail her?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 02:14 PM

Sir, please read the message as sent, not as your feverish brain imagines it. I said a small schooner like this not a full-rigged square-rigger.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 02:02 PM

31 and humid yesterday. 21 and a dry breeze here... 11 tonight! 11 at night in July!! Rain and 18 on Tueday and nothin over 25 all week. I am LOVIN IT!

Hey Rap... you don't look very happy on yer boat... while the glum face chum?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 01:37 PM

Very nice yacht, Rapparee. That's exactly the kind I would go for. How many does it take to crew her?

As for Amos's requirements....do you mean his actual requirements? Or those circumscribed by his imagination? The variance in size between the two resembles the dimensional difference between an ant and an elephant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 01:08 PM

What?! You want my yacht??? No, it exceeds your requirements. Here's a picture of her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 01:00 PM

Never mind the picnic-ware, sirrah. The whales do not want left-over shards of plastic in their breeding grounds.

I have a large dive-knife which will serve.

But be so kind as to send along a small--say 39' or so--schooner for ease of access.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 12:31 PM

I'll throw in a whole package of plastic knives (I don't want Amos to hurt himself) if he'll do it. He's got a kayak, so there shouldn't be any problem.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 12:21 PM

YEs, we both watched it with great admiration for those deft klutzes in the boat. Cruising the Sea of Cortez is one of our inchoate intentions...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jul 11 - 11:00 AM

Hey, MOM, watch this. Sea of Cortez video. Maybe we can send Amos down to do some of this good work. I'll send you a small knife for the work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 11:49 PM

I don't think you can put down dibs on a number, Rapparree. It sounds all very macho, but the real flow of posts around here just doesn't work that way, ya know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 10:59 PM

Oh, yeah.

Dibs on 41414.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 10:59 PM

Gee, I've had the problem for some time and I'm not canning anything. Could there be another reason?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 07:35 PM

MOM, the jelly is beautiful and delicious, the tomato sauce is nothing to brag about because they're not home grown tomatoes, but the peaches should be splendid and I'm doing them tonight. Don't stand in one place too long on the kitchen floor or you might stick to it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 07:30 PM

The Truth? No, just a reasonable facsimile of The World As I Made It.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 02:22 PM

What a crackup. There is raw truth and there are acceptable effects. "You can't HANDLE the truth!!" as Mr Nichols famously roared.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 01:02 PM

Ha! Ha! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Jul 11 - 10:27 AM

A friend posted this on her facebook page:

A man went to Europe for two months and left his beloved and prized cat with his brother and mother who shared a home. After a week or so, he called home to see how everything was going. "Well," his brother told him, "the cat took a header off the roof and died." "Oh, NO!!!" cried the man! "I'm devastated! And how could you deliver the news in such a cavalier fashion! That cat was like family to me!" "The cat's DEAD, for heaven's sake! What did you WANT me to tell you?" asked the brother. "Well, you could have told me that the cat is on the roof and you can't get him down. Then, when I called next time, you could have said that the fire department was there with a ladder but the cat was eluding them. When I next called you could have said that the cat jumped off the roof and had been taken to the vet where he was in surgery. Finally, when I had been prepared by all the previous calls for potential disaster, you could have told me that he didn't make it out of surgery. All of this would have let me get more prepared for the tragic outcome." "Ok," his brother said. "I get it." A few weeks later, the man called home again, he inquired as to how everyone was doing. "Well," replied his brother, "Mama's on the roof and we can't get her down."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 11:18 PM

Oh Amos, friend Amos, 'tis true what you writ
But beneath all that mulch is a ton of cow shit
Composted, sterilized, deodorized, clean
Enough to eat on top of ice cream.
But the nutrients left for the plants are immense
And the plants themselves were grown into Ents
And stomped, each to its place in the yard,
I'm afraid to go out there -- to die would be hard.
And I leave now no legacy, no bank account full,
For it's all been spent on the plants and the bull....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 10:15 PM

Oh, Bookman, oh Bookman, oh Bold Rapparree!
As concerns your landscaping, take warning from me!
You've hired and paid them, their work is near done,
And the schedules and progress reports have been fun.
The speed of their turn out was often quite short,
But your hand at the tiller their schemes did abort,
You harassed and scolded and chided, until
Every modified specification was filled!
But Sir let me tell you, now that all that is done,
Your garden will grow by the clock of the Sun
By moon-phase and calendar seasons will grow
ANd its pacing will be agonisingly slow.
Prepare for the loss of excitement and thrill
As you wait out responses from each daffodil.
The work that you paid for on time and in dough
Will progress so slowly you'll reel from the blow.
To admire a garden takes the pulse of a saint,
And though you may be many things,
That's one thing you ain't!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 07:46 PM

Day 21 in a row, for those who torture themselves with counting such things. It was already really hot before "summer" even arrived.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 05:52 PM

The mulching is finished! Now to install the soaker hose and away we go! (I paid the nursery today, and I'm feeling poor.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 05:49 PM

One of the staff brought in some lavender and coconut macaroons. I can't decide if I like them. It's a little like tasting soap, but in a not unpleasant way.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jul 11 - 02:44 PM

I have the 13kBtu lit up now on accounta it's kinda hot and very humid. Nothing like down south and out west tho.


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