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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 12 Jun 11 - 04:55 PM
GUEST,Hohk-Ptui 12 Jun 11 - 03:48 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 11 - 03:27 PM
Acme 12 Jun 11 - 02:59 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 11 - 12:33 PM
Acme 12 Jun 11 - 10:52 AM
Little Hawk 11 Jun 11 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 11 - 07:26 PM
Little Hawk 11 Jun 11 - 12:47 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 11 - 12:26 PM
Eiseley 11 Jun 11 - 11:19 AM
Eiseley 11 Jun 11 - 11:16 AM
Acme 11 Jun 11 - 09:52 AM
GUEST,Hokh-Ptui 10 Jun 11 - 11:09 PM
Acme 10 Jun 11 - 07:05 PM
Little Hawk 10 Jun 11 - 03:18 PM
GUEST,Hokh-Ptui 10 Jun 11 - 01:37 PM
Amos 10 Jun 11 - 12:37 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 11 - 10:07 AM
Rapparee 09 Jun 11 - 06:35 PM
Little Hawk 09 Jun 11 - 06:07 PM
gnu 09 Jun 11 - 05:19 PM
Amos 09 Jun 11 - 04:49 PM
GUEST,Rapparee 09 Jun 11 - 04:14 PM
Amos 09 Jun 11 - 04:08 PM
MMario 09 Jun 11 - 04:06 PM
Amos 09 Jun 11 - 03:39 PM
Amos 09 Jun 11 - 03:37 PM
Little Hawk 09 Jun 11 - 12:52 PM
Amos 09 Jun 11 - 11:49 AM
Rapparee 09 Jun 11 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 09 Jun 11 - 10:39 AM
Amos 09 Jun 11 - 10:11 AM
MMario 09 Jun 11 - 08:53 AM
Joe Offer 09 Jun 11 - 12:12 AM
GUEST,Rapparee 08 Jun 11 - 11:59 PM
Eiseley 08 Jun 11 - 10:34 PM
Acme 08 Jun 11 - 10:22 PM
Amos 08 Jun 11 - 10:04 PM
GUEST,Rapparee 08 Jun 11 - 07:30 PM
Little Hawk 08 Jun 11 - 04:50 PM
gnu 08 Jun 11 - 04:37 PM
Eiseley 08 Jun 11 - 04:34 PM
gnu 08 Jun 11 - 02:10 PM
Amos 08 Jun 11 - 01:07 PM
Little Hawk 08 Jun 11 - 12:49 PM
Amos 08 Jun 11 - 12:44 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 11 - 11:49 PM
Amos 07 Jun 11 - 10:54 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 11 - 09:13 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jun 11 - 04:55 PM

SRS... yer not helping me with my diet. That sounds soooooooooo tastey! I got so hungry I just took out a salmon fillet (Atlantic Salmon, The Brillant Salmon, the KING of Fish... none of that left coast crap for me) and I shall extracate veggies from last night's beef stew to go with.

I fell off the wagon today and had a piece (a forkful) of apple from the Dutch Apple Pie I baked for Mum this afternoon. I worked it off planting double impatiens in pots to go in front of Mum's yard and one pot in the back yard... 20 in total.

Another exciting day on Leeside drive.

Hmmmm... I have a tomato... maybe my bedtime snack will be a t sandwich on cracked wheat toast with Miracle Whip and enough pepper ta make Rap sneeze from here.

I hope Amos' anus' annual inspection is okay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Hohk-Ptui
Date: 12 Jun 11 - 03:48 PM

We are returning the Amos to you. His mind has been repaired and you are again asked to discontinue damaging it. It is small and fragile and cracks easily.

Talking of cracks, he very much enjoyed the probes. His pleasure centers registered the highest we have seen in a very long duration.

Please be gentle with him when he returns. He will have little or no remembrance of his annual examination and correction, as we have inserted other memories for this period of his duration.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 11 - 03:27 PM

You REALLY expect me to believe that sort of thing is real when the high for the last week has been 71 F.?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jun 11 - 02:59 PM

It's Summer when we have enough ripe tomatoes to make full-bodied BLT sandwiches on homemade bread toast with fresh lettuce, real full-strength mayonnaise, thick slices of crisp bacon, and juicy red slices of homegrown tomatoes from my garden.

Are you going to seriously argue with that? Who cares what the calendar says. It's my garden that dictates these things!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 11 - 12:33 PM

Somer ist a-comin' in, so you can't do it real soon. You gotta wait a few days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jun 11 - 10:52 AM

MOM, we're going to have the BLT summer celebration soon! Clear off the picnic table!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jun 11 - 10:41 PM

I would not go so far as to say that he is "the best North Ontario can offer".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 11 - 07:26 PM

1. Shame McBride is the best north Ontario can offer? Is that because of a very poor gene pool, inbreeding, or what?

2. I dressed as I said but never found the nobility. I think they moved when they knew I was coming.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jun 11 - 12:47 PM

Shane is not a food source! He is the pride of North Ontario manhood and an inspiration to hosers far and wide.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 11 - 12:26 PM

So? Shortly I will done +/- 15th Century clothing and walk amidst nobility. (Of course, here with Mom I am ALWAYS amongst nobility, except maybe for Amos.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 11 Jun 11 - 11:19 AM

In two hours I have to don a neon green bookworm costume and slither up onto a stage to perform The Glowworm in front of a crowd of pointy-shoed tea drinkers. They will all be very elegant, I will not be so very elegant.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 11 Jun 11 - 11:16 AM

Or rather, disgust.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jun 11 - 09:52 AM

Looks like the freds have learned the art of disguise, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Hokh-Ptui
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 11:09 PM

This Amos is doing well, or as well as it is possible for him to do. His mind has been repaired and the one who repairs him requests that those around him refrain from doing such damage during the next transit of your planet around your primary. He will begin the probes tomorrow, something he seems to enjoy perhaps too much than is good for him.

We have no knowledge of a Shane. Is that a food source of which we are unaware?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 07:05 PM

You're all rather perky this week. Must not be as hot where you are. We are lurking in shady areas, trying not to move too much while it's so hot down here in Tejas.

My Internet is finally running properly--the tech was here today to repair it. There was a filter on the line up by the telephone pole that failed. You know, I could just tell them "don't put the filter there, I'm not going to watch your stupid cable television anyway," but I doubt they'd buy it. I'd get a little faster speed without the filter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 03:18 PM

I looove your name, Hokh-Ptui. Are you in the crew that are Shane's buddies and who take him on space jaunts every now and then? If so, he could use your help right now, because he's in jail again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Hokh-Ptui
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 01:37 PM

Greetings.

We are taking the one you call Amos for a short time. It is time for his annual probings. We will also repair the problems with his mind. He doesn't like that but does seem to like the probes.

Thank you. We will return him repaired.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 12:37 PM

And don't run with schizoids, either.

Mom, good bye and farewell until I return. I am off across the endless desert waste, into the high hills of glowing Arizona.

A toute a l'heure and all that.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 11 - 10:07 AM

Say, did you hear the one about the village idiot and the village gossip? Seems like the village gossip spread the news that she'd seen the village idiot's car parked outside Bouncing Bertha Boarding House all night. Next night the village idiot parked in front of the village gossip's house.

Do not cast stones. Mud, bits of gravel, sand, sludge, rotten seaweed, overripe veggies, dirt -- fine. But no stones. Mom don't want nobody gettin' hurt around here. She says you could put an eye out if you aren't careful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 06:35 PM

I'm on one hand and he's on the other.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 06:07 PM

"place you squarely between the village gossip on the one hand and the village idiot on the other"

Which of those denotes yourself, Amos, and which denotes Rapparee?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 05:19 PM

"bait casting"

How city. I thought you were a true sport. Why not just lob an M36? or a CIL Wobbler? One must finesse fish, not dangle a lowly worm or some other such "easy" bait at their nose.

Of course, even when I fish fly, there does come a point when I know what's under that log at midday in the high summer sun and I am tempted to thread a crawler on my fly and sink it. BUT, I RESIST! I am a gentleman I am! Unless I am hungry, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 04:49 PM

Ah, Rapparee, you air zo fonnneeee!! I am howyou say laffink out ze lud!!

Of course, I meant threshold, not lintel. Obviously I am not as adoorable as I once was.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 04:14 PM

lin·tel noun \ˈlin-təl\
Definition of LINTEL : a horizontal architectural member spanning and usually carrying the load above an opening.

Why, Amos, are you perched above a door or some other opening? You probably don't add much to any decorative function the lintel may have and you could fall and put an eye out or something if you're not careful. Or are you in ambush, ready to jump upon the next person or thing passing through the opening? Depending upon the opening you're hovering above you could be considered a hemorrhoid or something, you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 04:08 PM

Ah, MM, you KNOW your are well-beloved. Just because you walked into a food-fight does not mean the meringue pie was aimed at you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 04:06 PM

My point exactly, Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 03:39 PM

I hover on the very lintel of monstrous success, I tell you!! The very verge! Pray I may trip and fall over it precipitously with wild abandon and impeccable recovery.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 03:37 PM

Your understanding, compassion, clarity of insight and acute sense of right conduct, gentlemen, place you squarely between the village gossip on the one hand and the village idiot on the other.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 12:52 PM

Good point, MMario. It's a tragic situation. I wonder if there's a 12-step program for this sort of thing?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 11:49 AM

OLIVER:

'T is a shame, methinks, to substitute
WIth some legless mirror's thoughtless reflection
The natural bounteous light of a star in heaven.


Shakespeare, "Desdemona's Tempest", Act II scene iii.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 10:52 AM

Just in passing, yesterday Dick's Sporting Goods opened here (it was the "soft opening"; the Grand Opening is tomorrow). Anyway, I stopped by just to poke around and bought a very nice bait casting rod. Looking around in the optical area (does ANYONE need USD 2,000.00 binoculars?) I asked about range finders. Sure, but all they had were Bushnell at about $119.

Then, nestled in a display case, was a Nikon. It was tagged for $49.97. The Sub-Assistant Deputy Store Manager came over and said, "Yes, it's mis-marked. SWAG price. I'll sell it to you if you want it."

Well, yes, a new $300.00 item at $49.97 is generally something I'd like to buy (assuming I want something like that). So I did.

Walked out with a very nice bait casting outfit (WITH anti-backlash!) and a Grade-A rangefinder (good out to 200 meters) for a hundred bucks.

Sure, I don't have the paperwork for the rangefinder, but I print that off from the Nikon website.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 10:39 AM

Gentlefolk, let us be clear: Amos, as he now spells it, is a dear friend, an esteemed colleague, a gentleman of admirable invention and wit, a scholar of great breadth, and an aficionado [note correct spelling] of the very best in music and culture. I would defend him to the very last breath outside the portals of Mom's sacred holdings here. But behind our [sic again] Mom's holy portals, so to speak, anything goes and we parry in order to temper our blades, nothing more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 10:11 AM

Gentlemen, let us be clear: Raparee, as he now spells it, is a dear friend, an esteemed colleague, a gentleman of admirable invention and wit, a scholar of great breadth, and an afficianado of the very best in music and culture. I would defend him to the very last breath outside the portals of Mom's sacred holdings here. But behind out Mom's holy portals, so to speak, anything goes and we parry in order to temper our blades, nothing more.

I submitted "Beyond the Cascade" to a professional review outfit called ScriptShark, of good repute and high caliber in the industry. Two weeks later they sent me back a fine analysis and review, placing it in the top 5%. They did a good, professional job. Oddly enough the suggestions they made to imporove it are the same ones BBW made for free. Maybe I should take them seriously. :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 08:53 AM

LH - I'm not sure which is sadder - that Amos and Rap keep snipeing at each other or that we (among others) keep coming back to read their posts!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Joe Offer
Date: 09 Jun 11 - 12:12 AM

If you post a no-name message in the MOAB, you're SOL. We try to identify posters in other threads but the MOAB is too long to allow for that - any editing we do on the MOAB, causes us technical problems. So, we delete no-name messages without bothering to try to identify the posters and give them a second chance.
The lesson: reset your cookie. If you're not registered, register.
Thanks.
-Joe-


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 11 - 11:59 PM

I am in hiding because I fought the law and the law won. See, Indiana wants me and Lord, I can't go back there because I shot the sheriff but I didn't shoot the deputy the night Chicago died.

Well...really, I'm at the Legion Hovel. It's time for annual elections and because I'm considered to be Honest And Upstanding And A Solid Citizen I've been given the task of guarding the ballot boxes until the CG gets here. I've passed up a few thousand dollars to "just kinda turn away for a minute or two" and I've had to shoot at a couple of folks -- just to kinda scare 'em away, you know, the "bullet about an inch from ear" thing. The CG should be here sometime around midnight and she'll take charge of the ballots then and I'll be able to go home and get some rest.

Good thing my wife left for Chicago and points east today. SHE don't shoot "about an inch from the ear."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 08 Jun 11 - 10:34 PM

Where are you, Rapparee, and why have you been acting like a guest? Make yourself at home!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jun 11 - 10:22 PM

I agree. If you're worried about it, do what you need to do.

What caused you to toss your cookies today, Raparee? Rapaire? Mike?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jun 11 - 10:04 PM

IF the pain is truly abominable consider going direct to Emergency. Screw the smug dismissal shtick.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 11 - 07:30 PM

By the way, the last three GUESTs were myself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jun 11 - 04:50 PM

I prefer the British expression: "I'll knock you up in the morning."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jun 11 - 04:37 PM

That's piss poor customer service... why not "I'll call YOU in the morning."?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 08 Jun 11 - 04:34 PM

One of the doctors' initial response to the abominable abdominal pain: Take a couple of ibuprofen and call me in the morning.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jun 11 - 02:10 PM

Why isn't it a palinnilap?

Would a Palindromometer detect when Sarah is talking out of both ends at the same time?

No... it's too early. Why do you ask?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jun 11 - 01:07 PM

Oh, follie, thou occasional sib! Surely even you know that BS is not a destination, but a journey!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jun 11 - 12:49 PM

I see that you two puerile nincompoops are still at it. ;-) Do we have a winner yet? How about going to sudden-death overtime?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jun 11 - 12:44 PM

Why you ask, Great Number Envier?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 11 - 11:49 PM

Yes, I do attempt to be civil at all times.

Now let's see who gets the next number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 11 - 10:54 PM

It's just as well ya didn't, cuz what you had in mind to say was really offensive and well below Mom's usual standards of civility and would have gotten you locked in the outhouse for two days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 11 - 09:13 PM

Nah, I said I didn't so I didn't.


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