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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Janie 02 Jun 10 - 09:17 PM
Janie 02 Jun 10 - 07:57 PM
Janie 02 Jun 10 - 07:45 PM
Amos 02 Jun 10 - 07:40 PM
Eiseley 02 Jun 10 - 07:30 PM
Janie 02 Jun 10 - 07:28 PM
Rapparee 02 Jun 10 - 07:18 PM
Janie 02 Jun 10 - 07:12 PM
Amos 02 Jun 10 - 06:52 PM
Eiseley 02 Jun 10 - 06:09 PM
Rapparee 02 Jun 10 - 05:46 PM
Rapparee 02 Jun 10 - 05:36 PM
Rapparee 02 Jun 10 - 05:12 PM
Rapparee 02 Jun 10 - 04:51 PM
Amos 02 Jun 10 - 04:49 PM
Rapparee 02 Jun 10 - 04:41 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 02 Jun 10 - 04:40 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 02 Jun 10 - 04:39 PM
MMario 02 Jun 10 - 11:51 AM
Rapparee 02 Jun 10 - 11:27 AM
MMario 02 Jun 10 - 11:24 AM
Rapparee 02 Jun 10 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 02 Jun 10 - 10:36 AM
Eiseley 02 Jun 10 - 10:15 AM
MMario 02 Jun 10 - 09:09 AM
VirginiaTam 02 Jun 10 - 02:44 AM
Acme 02 Jun 10 - 12:10 AM
Eiseley 01 Jun 10 - 11:29 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 11:21 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 11:13 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 11:11 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 11:09 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 11:08 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 11:07 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 11:07 PM
Eiseley 01 Jun 10 - 10:04 PM
Eiseley 01 Jun 10 - 10:04 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 08:57 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 08:47 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 08:19 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 08:14 PM
Janie 01 Jun 10 - 08:12 PM
Amos 01 Jun 10 - 07:00 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 01 Jun 10 - 06:35 PM
Janie 01 Jun 10 - 06:07 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 01 Jun 10 - 06:03 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 05:58 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 05:56 PM
Rapparee 01 Jun 10 - 05:53 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 01 Jun 10 - 05:52 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 09:17 PM

Not a turtledove, Amos.

A big, lovely, Barn Owl. They don't dangle prepositions, but often dangle mice, voles, squirrels, etc.    I'm sure there must be some common link between the two.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 07:57 PM

Why is my 'puter table, puter, and keyboard swarming with ants?

And while I am on the subject, why did I come home from my weekend travels to find a cluster of dead bees (I think they are mason bees, but especially why would I find mason bees) on the floor and the foot of the bed in the guest room?

And why are earwigs dropping out of every faucet when I turn on water over the past week?

It all really bugs me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 07:45 PM

Rats. Amos, I didn't mean to misrepresent you.   

You, of course would never ask "To who?", but rather "Who to?"

(Hey, you want a fuss, call Rapaire. You want some one to blow a simple one-liner, I'm your girl!)


Eiseley, you have confirmed a suspicion I've been harboring over the last few days. That big sink hole in Guatamala that people believe was caused by all the rain? Well, I don't buy it. I think that was the result of a warning shot fired from somewhere in Idaho. It was supposed to traverse Texas and land harmlessly in Campeche Bay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 07:40 PM

When??? When have I EVER said "To who"???? What do y ou take me for, some kind of turtledove?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 07:30 PM

Naturally to the people who don't award A's. Rap has an arsenal, you know.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 07:28 PM

To whom, Rapaire?




or as Amos would say, "To who?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 07:18 PM

As her former Boss I must, in all modesty, refrain from comment except to say that if she doesn't finish with a 4.0...things will happen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 07:12 PM

Well done, Eiseley!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 06:52 PM

B R A V O!


B R A V O!


B R A V O!


B R A V O!




Very nice job, Ms Eiseley!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 06:09 PM

What a sweet video. I hope the person filming it was safe behind a sturdy wall. Mother moose can be pretty ferocious when they think their babies are in danger.

Rejoice with me! My three-week-long, very intensive Advanced Storytelling Class is over!!!

It was fun, but hard. You are now invited to "attend" my storytelling concert here. Everyone in the class recorded a fable---either one adapted from a fable in the public domain, or one he or she created. I chose the latter option and wrote one called "The Strong City." Please enjoy!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 05:46 PM

Here. The video is nearly as cute as I am.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 05:36 PM

"Muy." Sorry, should be "mas".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 05:12 PM

Je parle Francaise un peu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 04:51 PM

Si, y yo hablo Espanol muy uno poco tambien.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 04:49 PM

IT is stunning after all these years to see yon Rapaire posing as a Self-Referential Loop, like one of those pieces of paper that says "Please turn over" and says "The other side of this paper is true" on one side and "The other side of this paper is a damned liar" on the other...the kind of intricate sui-torsion that made so much money for Godel, Escher and Bach and all its anecedent convoluted navel-gazing tail-chasing philosophical shortwits.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 04:41 PM

Nein, nein, Eiseley. Ich sprachen sie Deutsch nicht.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 04:40 PM

Only 29 more posts until a BIG NUMBER. Do you have a poem for us, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 04:39 PM

Rapaire, you did reproduce a line of Goethe all right, but so much less romantic than, say, The Sorrows of Young Werther, who died for love.

I surely hope you didn't whisper the words of "Proverbs in Prose" into your beloved's ear, or she would have good reason to whop you on the head.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 11:51 AM

Anyone reading the "White Rabbits" thread? Fascinating....it would fit right in here....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 11:27 AM

I didn't realize that Shame was attempting to communicate anything at all. So those aren't just random grunts and body noises! Coulda fooled me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 11:24 AM

Not knowing German (except for Certain Words) I had no idea what I was reading, but it sure was Romantic as all get out.


Much the same relationship that stands between Shane and English.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 10:52 AM

But I do remember reading Goethe by candlelight, thrilling to such statments as "Das Leben gehört den Lebenden an, und wer lebt, muss auf Wechsel gefasst sein"* and, of course, "Daher denn auch der Mathematiker seine Formelsprache so hoch steigert, uns, insofern es möglich, in der meßbaren und zählbaren Welt die unmeßbare mitzubegreifen. Nun erscheint ihm alles greifbar, faßlich und mechanisch, und er kommt in den Verdacht eines heimlichen Atheismus, indem er ja das Unmeßbarste, welches wir Gott nennen, zugleich mitzuerfassen glaubt und daher dessen besonderes oder vorzügliches Dasein aufzugeben scheint." Not knowing German (except for Certain Words) I had no idea what I was reading, but it sure was Romantic as all get out.


*Eiseley, take note.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 10:36 AM

That there writin' looks like what mah Great-great Aunt Tillie used ta write. She wrote real good, only nobody could read it any. She'd read it to us only we couldn't unnerstand it any, what with her using words like "Scheissheiss" and "Generalstaatsverordnetenversammlungen" amd "Alterthumswissenschaften" and "Kinderbewahrungsanstalten" and "Unabhaengigkeitserklaerungen" and "Wiedererstellungbestrebungen" and
"Waffenstillstandsunterhandlungen." Sometimes you'd sorta maybe understand something that was kinda on the edge of yer mind, kinda ticklin' fer meaning, but there weren't none. So only mein Bruddder learnt any German and the other two of use stuck to languages folks could unnerstand, like Profane and Obscene and Vulgar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 10:15 AM

And not only will he have to read Goethe by candlelight without a dictionary but it will be in German in the old script, right?

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 09:09 AM

Did Amos just dangle his participle in front of MOM?

That is *so* SICK


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 02:44 AM

Dearest Shane

Okay, folkes, here is taday's big qwestion:

How many corkpullers does it take to flip the sox off'n a dead preist?


I am setting you a challenge to correct your spelling in the above.

Just rewrite 3 times with corrections. Then we will work together on your sentence diagramming, sweetie.   

If you don't do this, I will stand over you and make you read







Goethe, by candle light, without a dictionary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jun 10 - 12:10 AM

Spinners for dinner? What are you doing, eating plates?

We don't have squirrel problems here. I have a couple of nuts guarding me from squirrels. So far the score is

Dogs: 5 (more or less. If you count possums, birds, snakes, etc., much higher)   
Squirrels: 0

If you get my drift. Catching squirrels is fine entertainment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:29 PM

He set his hook upon the post.
His hooks he set, did he.
And snatched away the spinner fair,
From fussing Rapaire.

He set his glinting hooks and then
Right boldly did he post
And ate the spinner winner's dinner---
A better meal than most!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:21 PM


 For what is real, and what is
aboriginal, cannot be fucked with.



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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:13 PM

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:11 PM

Then Amos cried in deep regret
Alas I an a sinner!
And to Fayre Lady Eisely,
Who posteth so wisely
I shall give o'er this spinner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:09 PM

Rapaire leaped out and loudly roared
That spinner wishing greatly,
But all that he could write was
"Go to sleep"
For he had arrived too lately.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:08 PM

)gat=gay)

But when she came up to that thread
Her hope they were forsaken
For Amos had come like a bird in the night
And the spinner it was taken!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:07 PM

...and go to sleep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 11:07 PM

There was a lady and a lady gat
Of love she was a sinner
She set herself on the MOAB road
For to catch hersel' a spinner...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 10:04 PM

Get set . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 10:04 PM

Rapaire, get ready . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 08:57 PM

She wouldn't be making her own fuss if you hadn't prepositioned her in the first place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 08:47 PM

Well, one sure source of failure is making a big fuss about a tiny issue, like a preposition, for example.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 08:19 PM

Amos, my fusses are all "Made In The U.S.A." by skilled craftsfolks, who have been handed down the craft of fussmaking for generations. Each is a custom design and the fussmaker takes great pride in creating only the finest, using only the best fussmaking tools so that you know that each fuss has been crafted by hand from conception to the final product. In fact, each fussmaker signs and dates their work and you are provided with photos of each step in the process. They like to joke about their "fussy fusses" and should one not meet the buyer's expectations it will be replaced for the cost of shipping and handling. We only ask you to tell us why it failed so that on a going forward basis we can improve the product.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 08:14 PM

I am abashed, disgruntled and nonplussed, my darlin'.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 08:12 PM

* ahem *

...of which well-rounded fusses can boast.....

Shame, Amos.

Shame.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 07:00 PM

The squirtrel prolly cane crawling up the tree to visit the crow and the crow was having a bad feathers day.

Rapaire, I do not monger my fusses, nor would I offer any custom to such a trade. My fusses are for my own consumption only, mostly for recreational purposes, and are hand-groomed and nourished in my garden patch, and carefully pruned of bad spots, sweet spots, reasonablesness and placidity if it starts to appear around the edges. I like my fusses strong, choleric, irascible, and occasionally just the slightest bit terpsichorean, but not enough to cause damage, and with the fine sharp edges only the most well-rounded fusses can boast of.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 06:35 PM

Okay, folkes, here is taday's big qwestion:

How many corkpullers does it take to flip the sox off'n a dead preist?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 06:07 PM

I imagine it et the crow aigs - or tried to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 06:03 PM

Good luck doing that here. At least YOU can throw golf balls at the squirrels---or make a fuss about them as a kind of advertisement for your new business.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:58 PM

Eiseley, when I lived in Indiana we would find dead birds in the back yard. One day I saw a squirrel biting off the top of the skull of a bird. That was also the day I began to live-trap out all the squirrels and had Animal Control deal with them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:56 PM

Amos, if you want a fuss you'll have to pay 50% up front. And if you're thinking of going into fussmongering let me remind you that we will beat the prices of all legitimate competitors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:53 PM

By the way, my business is selling fusses, like an ironmonger sells hardware and a whoremong...well, never mind. Anyway, you pay me and I'll sell you a first-class fuss at the best prices around, but it's DYI. Our motto is "No One Can Provide A Fuss Like Us." And we'll beat any legitimate competitor's prices, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 01 Jun 10 - 05:52 PM

Oh my goodness! I was driving back from the grocery store where my young adult librarian and I bought three gallons of ice cream for our root beer float party today, when we saw an amazing sight: a crow was chasing a squirrel across the road, flying above it and pecking at it all the way! What could the squirrel have done to make the crow so angry?

Eiseley


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Mudcat time: 21 September 12:47 AM EDT

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