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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 16 Feb 10 - 02:33 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 10 - 02:06 PM
Little Hawk 16 Feb 10 - 01:46 PM
Amos 16 Feb 10 - 01:32 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 10 - 01:23 PM
Amos 16 Feb 10 - 12:15 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 10 - 11:44 AM
Rapparee 16 Feb 10 - 11:44 AM
Amos 16 Feb 10 - 09:17 AM
Amos 15 Feb 10 - 11:21 PM
Rapparee 15 Feb 10 - 10:48 PM
Amos 15 Feb 10 - 07:55 PM
Rapparee 15 Feb 10 - 06:22 PM
Amos 15 Feb 10 - 12:20 PM
Acme 15 Feb 10 - 01:43 AM
Little Hawk 14 Feb 10 - 11:07 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 10 - 10:33 PM
Amos 14 Feb 10 - 07:10 PM
Little Hawk 14 Feb 10 - 04:21 PM
Acme 14 Feb 10 - 03:20 PM
Amos 14 Feb 10 - 02:12 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 10 - 11:56 AM
Little Hawk 14 Feb 10 - 11:07 AM
Acme 14 Feb 10 - 10:29 AM
Little Hawk 14 Feb 10 - 09:33 AM
Rapparee 14 Feb 10 - 09:22 AM
Little Hawk 14 Feb 10 - 03:41 AM
Acme 14 Feb 10 - 01:41 AM
Rapparee 13 Feb 10 - 06:06 PM
Amos 13 Feb 10 - 03:12 PM
Little Hawk 13 Feb 10 - 02:33 PM
Acme 13 Feb 10 - 01:36 PM
Amos 13 Feb 10 - 01:19 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 10 - 12:51 PM
Acme 13 Feb 10 - 10:44 AM
Amos 13 Feb 10 - 10:29 AM
Janie 13 Feb 10 - 02:21 AM
Amos 13 Feb 10 - 02:17 AM
Acme 13 Feb 10 - 12:11 AM
Rapparee 12 Feb 10 - 10:14 PM
Amos 12 Feb 10 - 05:04 PM
Acme 12 Feb 10 - 04:23 PM
Little Hawk 12 Feb 10 - 03:46 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 10 - 03:04 PM
Little Hawk 12 Feb 10 - 01:17 PM
Amos 12 Feb 10 - 01:11 PM
Acme 12 Feb 10 - 01:10 PM
Little Hawk 12 Feb 10 - 12:20 PM
Little Hawk 12 Feb 10 - 11:59 AM
Amos 12 Feb 10 - 11:51 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 02:33 PM

If you are going to do the same--slice and shoot at yourself any which way--then I will wisely refrain, since you will be saving me a great deal of trouble. This way, you won't have to learn where the field of honor is.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 02:06 PM

I greatly prefer the Code Duello. Swords or pistols, it matters not to me. Amos can bring his Dragoon saber or Lemat revolver and shoot at me or slice away and I shall do the same.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 01:46 PM

Now, gentlemen...don't go getting all boring and dryly intellectual on us at this fine point in your ongoing spat. I was hoping you might soon be progressing to shoving the other fellow's shoulder back, treading on his toe "accidentally", giving him the old "nose-twist between the fingers" Three Stooge's style, taping a "kick me" sign on his back when he isn't watching...that sort of thing. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 01:32 PM

See, you have no sense of context and are being obstreperously narrow-minded. The context here was defined by youe reference to viewing others as your social betters--a wise impulse on your part,, BTW.

However, you correctly point out that we have no tradition of referring to people as our "worsers".

The rigid small-minded recitations of grammar which you emulate are a recent invention. In the nineteenth century, it was not uncommon to refer to those of lower social ordinates as one's "lessers".

'lesser - a thing that is of smaller size, value, importance etc; Comparative form of little: more little; of two things, the smaller in size, value, importance etc."

en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Lesser


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 01:23 PM

"Less", as any educated person would know, refers to the quantity of a quality or thing: "We had less snow this winter than last" or "He is far less intelligent than he thinks he is." "Few" refers to quantity: "I have never before see so few people at a funeral -- not even the corpse showed up" or "Fewer than one in a million play a zither in B#."

Therefore, "lesser" can hardly be the opposite of "better" (although I give you credit for using the comparative).

Good -> bad
Better -> worse
Best -> worst

"He was a bad man, worse than Billy the Kid, the worst man I ever met." Compare that to "He was a bad man, lesser than Billy the Kid, the worst man I ever met."

No, the correct term would be "worser".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 12:15 PM

Worsers. indeed! I have mine, sir, and am proud to count you among them. Your rabid furies are but a lady's tempest, full of fevers and vapours, signifying nothing. Go, book your flight to Blighty and sit at the feet of Walksabout.

And the word you are looking for is lessers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 11:44 AM

Why is it that we can have "our betters" but not "our worsers"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 11:44 AM

NO SENSE!?!?!?!

There are hidden meaning within hidden meanings! You, sirrah, are a mere Philistine, a bourgeois with pretensions to literacy, a sounding gong, a mere speck in the eye of Posey, naught but an all-encompassing Dunciad in one person. Go to, go to, varlet and scullion, and learn to read the words of your betters!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 09:17 AM

LOVE

As soon go kindle fire with snow,
as seek to quench the fire of love with words.

             William Shakespeare


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 10 - 11:21 PM

I am sorry, Rapaire, but your poetic effort makes no sense. P'raps you should go to England and study with Walkaboutsverse.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 10 - 10:48 PM

"You are old, Father Amos," young Rapaire said,
"And your hair is exceedingly sparse,
But you tear out madly in chunks and in beds,
And replace it with pieces of gorse."

"In my youth," quoth the Old Man, "that I never would do
For I knew it would injure my pate
But now I settle on with strong glue
And hope that the fumes will abate."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 10 - 07:55 PM

I wrote a whole Father William poem all about Rapaire and his delusory personifications, but it was eaten by a feral mudcat before it got to the thread.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 10 - 06:22 PM

Well, Norbert, you let her slip again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 10 - 12:20 PM

Momma, momma, drinkin' wine,
Momma fell below the line
Drifting down, she must confess
Toward the bottom of BS.
Momma, momma, once again
Momma needs some aspirehn,
Make that slip nd sliding stop,
Send our Mom back to the top!
Momma, momma. drinkin' wine,
Best damn thread below the line.

(From a playground chant recorded at the Mennawhatee Junior Grades school in central BS county.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Feb 10 - 01:43 AM

Of course we all know that this was borrowed and modified by several folks, but here is Lewis Carroll's adaptation:


"You are old, Father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
Do you think, at your age, it is right?"

"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."

"You are old," said the youth, "As I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door—
Pray, what is the reason of that?"

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
"I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box—
Allow me to sell you a couple?"

"You are old," said the youth, "And your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak—
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose—
What made you so awfully clever?"

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father; "don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 11:07 PM

That's sort of what the Britons did when they wanted to scare the Romans. ;-) But they didn't wait till they were old.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 10:33 PM

When I am old
And oh! so wrinkled
I will strip naked
Paint myself purple
And run through the streets
Shouting "WOOGAH! WOOGAH! WOOGAH!"

Is that the poem you mean, Amos? 'Cause I just writ it down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 07:10 PM

Next time, it will be a bunch of rubbery teenage lads running up and down and I will sit in the corner of the yard and give orders while supping a Martini and smoking a hookah, like the Caterpillar.

I am reminded of the "when I am old I shall wear purple" poem.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 04:21 PM

Chongo knows a crew who will work for bananas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 03:20 PM

You could hire some young whippersnapper to come do it for you. Probably cheaper than vinyl.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 02:12 PM

Mom, I ache all over. Even my sore muscles have sore muscles. I have been swinging from ladders and hauling paint cans and going up and down in defiance of gravity in order to re-oil the custom-designed hand-built suncover on the patio. It's mostly teak and redwood, and a coat of oil every four years or so makes it pretty much bullet proof. But boy, waht a pain in the ass to do it!!   I can see why some people throw up their hands and put in ugly vinyl patio covers. Oy, to be thirty again!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 11:56 AM

As long as Southwest flight 414 lands here in an hour and twenty minutes I don't really give a damn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 11:07 AM

Yes...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 10:29 AM

That's true, Little Hawk, though the conditions surrounding low airport usage lately have been snow, not terror.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 09:33 AM

It's impossible to make something like air travel completely secure. The way for a nation to attain a sensible level of security is for its government to leave other nations alone...not invade and ruthlessly exploit them...etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 09:22 AM

Flying is the only activity where I feel more secure BEFORE going through Security. In fact, I can think of too many things that can be done before you through security to believe that "Security" actually works. The only reason I fly is because a) Amtrak don't come here anymore and, b) it beats walking or driving.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 03:41 AM

I shouldn't wonder. With all the "War on Terror" hysteria and security complications, it has become anything but enjoyable to fly anywhere (assuming it ever was).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 01:41 AM

Airports have been seriously low on viable flights lately. They'll be glad to have Pat's business.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 06:06 PM

Or thrash about in the swimmin' pool
Or bench press sixty-eightyteen
Or tomorrow pick up my wife
At airyport at eleven-fifteen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 03:12 PM

I'm going to Salt Lake, woman.
Sorry but I can't take you.
Yes, I'm going to Salt Lake City,
Girl. I'm sorry but I can't take you.
Them Mormons marry anybody
And I can't stand the risk of losing you.


Oh, I'm going to Salt Lake,
Say baby don't you want to go?
I am going to Salt Lake City,
Say, babe doncha wanna go?
We can hide out in the temple,
Or go outside and wade through the snow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 02:33 PM

With a little training, you could become a Mormon elder if you do, Rapaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 01:36 PM

Will that make Janie feel any better?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 01:19 PM

Please.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 12:51 PM

I think...I think...I think I'll go to Salt Lake City.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 10:44 AM

Janie, do you have Netflix? We'll send you the particulars on our favorite episodes of network television and British comedies. How would that work? I'd start you out with the Blackadder where Baldrick accidentally burned Samuel Johnson's Dictionary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 10:29 AM

If only we wuz a little closer, Janie...but be that as it may, how can you contemplate marshmallow fluff on Ramen noodles and not be amused?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 02:21 AM

Y'all cheer me up. Got the midwinter blues that hit every February.

Amuse me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 02:17 AM

Rapaire had five lard sticks and threw up but we cleaned it up. Marshmallow fluff doesn't float on Ramen and it makes the noodles kinda sticky. Good, though..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 12:11 AM

It was nice; non al dente spaghetti and homemade sauce, along with a salad, garlic bread, and dessert. MOM had two desserts, and I think she might suffer for that second piece of pecan pie. Just so you know. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 10 - 10:14 PM

And I'll make some of my famous deep-fat-fried lard sticks!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 10 - 05:04 PM

'S awright, Still, I'll whip up some Ramen with marshmallow fluff on it for the sibs. You go ahead and have a good time with Mom.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Feb 10 - 04:23 PM

MOM, I have an extra ticket for the garden club spaghetti dinner tonight. Wanna come along?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 10 - 03:46 PM

According to what I've read, everyone passes. At least 14 times a day on average, but probably a lot more than that if you've been eating beans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 10 - 03:04 PM

Which will be immediately after their defeat by Scotland. Remember the motto of the haggis-eating Scots: NONE shall pass.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 10 - 01:17 PM

I intend to, just as soon as Liechtenstein engineers regime change there...

Canada, as international peacekeeper, will appoint William Shatner as interim governor of the new region of Pacifica, starting right after the Liechtensteiner troops withdraw.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 10 - 01:11 PM

Sure thing. Say, why don't you move to San Diego?? It's warm almost alla time.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Feb 10 - 01:10 PM

MOM, I put on all of my mountain climbing gear to stay warm and tromped around the yard and neighborhood with the camera. It's already slush now, but it was gorgeous for a few hours!

Would you fix me a cuppa hot cocoa now? And float some of those little marshmallows in it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 10 - 12:20 PM

I don't really feel that you are adequately qualified to assess our (Rapaire's and my) mental status, Amos. However, I would be quite willing to listen seriously to Herr Doktor Liebenscheiss, were he moved to offer his professional opinion on the matter...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Feb 10 - 11:59 AM

Don Rickles. Rosie O'Donnell. O.J. Simpson.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 10 - 11:51 AM

You guys are qualified for certification.


A


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