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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Ed T 08 Dec 09 - 07:26 PM
Ed T 08 Dec 09 - 07:00 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 09 - 06:59 PM
Ed T 08 Dec 09 - 06:58 PM
Ed T 08 Dec 09 - 06:54 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 09 - 06:39 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 09 - 06:33 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 09 - 06:30 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 09 - 06:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Dec 09 - 06:14 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 09 - 05:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Dec 09 - 05:47 PM
GUEST,Anonymous Secret Informant 08 Dec 09 - 04:43 PM
Ed T 08 Dec 09 - 04:24 PM
Ed T 08 Dec 09 - 04:16 PM
Amos 08 Dec 09 - 03:59 PM
Ed T 08 Dec 09 - 03:58 PM
Ed T 08 Dec 09 - 03:43 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 09 - 03:34 PM
Ed T 08 Dec 09 - 03:32 PM
Ed T 08 Dec 09 - 03:29 PM
Amos 08 Dec 09 - 03:15 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 09 - 02:40 PM
Amos 08 Dec 09 - 02:13 PM
Amos 08 Dec 09 - 01:32 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 09 - 01:31 PM
GUEST,Big Brother Don 08 Dec 09 - 01:28 PM
Amos 08 Dec 09 - 01:24 PM
GUEST,Big Brother Don 08 Dec 09 - 01:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Dec 09 - 01:00 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Dec 09 - 12:53 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 09 - 12:43 PM
Acme 08 Dec 09 - 12:28 PM
Amos 08 Dec 09 - 11:11 AM
Amos 08 Dec 09 - 11:10 AM
Amos 08 Dec 09 - 11:10 AM
Amos 08 Dec 09 - 11:09 AM
Amos 08 Dec 09 - 11:09 AM
Ed T 08 Dec 09 - 10:12 AM
Amos 08 Dec 09 - 09:55 AM
Rapparee 08 Dec 09 - 09:08 AM
Ed T 08 Dec 09 - 08:48 AM
Ed T 08 Dec 09 - 07:52 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Dec 09 - 06:03 AM
Little Hawk 07 Dec 09 - 11:07 PM
Rapparee 07 Dec 09 - 10:38 PM
Amos 07 Dec 09 - 10:22 PM
Acme 07 Dec 09 - 10:06 PM
Janie 07 Dec 09 - 10:00 PM
Amos 07 Dec 09 - 09:57 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 07:26 PM

An amazing product....just read for yourself, how amazing it is:

http://www.cgl.uwaterloo.ca/~csk/washington/disweb/chiu/foo2.html


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 07:00 PM

Shane never once pissed on a toilet seat...he normally misses altogether and gets the floor or wall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 06:59 PM

Why bother? The Shame of the McBrides wouldn't find his butt with both hands, a flashlight, a map, and a mission statement (which he couldn't read anyway), much less rescue a fair damsel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 06:58 PM

At birth, did Shane have a homosexual conjoined twin joined to his ass? Just heard a rumour?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 06:54 PM

Vacuums that don't suck, suck


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 06:39 PM

That's the spirit! Stir the urge in him to rescue his fair maiden in distress! That could redeem Shane and lift him out of this slump.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 06:33 PM

A thought for Shame (who never has any of his own): Did it occur to you that perhaps Offiser Jenny is being herded into this marriage by her social-climbing parents? No, I guess it wouldn't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 06:30 PM

I apologize for not checking in sooner, Mom, but I was with the Mayor-elect this afternoon and spend the morning getting ready for his visit.

No one, I'm certain, is at all surprised about the behavior of Shame McBride. A real man would have strode up to the lucky man, shook his hand manfully, and said, "Congratulations! I hope your life together will be bright and happy." A real man would sit around drinking and puking on himself, living off his older brother. A real man would take his disappointments in stride. But then, we're talking about the infelicitous Shame McBride here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 06:24 PM

Oh! Sorry. Yeah, I was thinking about the comic character.

That Lucy...what a bitch, eh? God help whoever she ended up marrying.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 06:14 PM

Little Hawk, I think you have your Charlie Browns mixed up. You seem to be referring to Charlie Brown of the "Peanuts" comic strip. That wimpy little fucker deserves to be picked on. The Charlie Brown about whom I was asking is the one from the song by The Coasters -- the guy who called the English teacher "Daddy-O". That's not something Charlie Brown from "Peanuts" would even dream of doing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 05:59 PM

That's easy, Bee-dub. His very nature (plus his appearance) drew them like flies to roadkill. He's a red-headed kid with a really round head. That's strike one and two. He's serious, sincere, and insecure all at the same time and therefore quite vulnerable to being picked on. That's strike three and he's "out".

There are a few kids like that in every school, and the others make life hell for them.

As for this Wesley Arbuckle creep, there's no way a guy like that would ever fool Jennifer Dana. I think he will be saying "hello" to a correctional facility faster than a Dachshund grabs a dropped hamburger patty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 05:47 PM

Hey, MOM!

I have a question! And this time it's not one of those stupid "Bee-dubya the Village Idiot" questions. It's a REAL one!




Why was everybody always pickin' on Charlie Brown?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Anonymous Secret Informant
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 04:43 PM

H. Archibald Cogswell III, eh? So that's what he's calling himself this time...

Look, there is no such person as H. Archibald Cogswell III. In fact, there's nobody named Archibald in the entire population of North America. Sure, there used to be lots of them, but nobody's named their kid Arhibald since 1930.

His real name is Wesley Arbuckle, and he has a long history of passing himself off as a "gentleman of means" to unsuspecting women, rifling their bank accounts, maxing out their credit cards, and unexpectedly disappearing. Last month, he was Roberto Enrico, purported owner of a chain of up-scale hair salons. He claimed to be in town scouting out possible locations for a new shop. He was trying to impress the women by passing out fake Prada handbags like they were Moonpies at a Mardis Gras parade.

Somebody get the word out to that nice Officer Dana that "Archie" is a scam-meister who needs to be locked up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 04:24 PM

The sucking and fighting behaviour of Shane and his infant brothers was researched when he was a infant (some say he still is a child). Although Shane sucked from all teats during this early period, he spent an average of 55% of his sucking time at a single teat. This could explain his behaviour to today?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 04:16 PM

OK McBride, wash your hands and the telephone also....after you crap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 03:59 PM

The man is without redeeming social value. Skinhim alive and make condoms of him.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 03:58 PM

isht, OK, I'll take the 60.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 03:43 PM

"It's all he can stands, cause he can't stands no more"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 03:34 PM

That's if he survives his present dilemma and sobers up in time...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 03:32 PM

Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Nooothing. And because you're such good listeners, here's another nothing, for nothing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 03:29 PM

Next week it's Shane's turn to speak to an AA drop-out class
And, they'll expect answers to all of the questions they ask
What would they say if he told them of his currrent month's sins?
And, the good times with the girlies at all of the Trailer Park Inns?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 03:15 PM

An excellent plan, sir, brilliantly conceived and impeccably drawn. I have discussed it with my best-beloved Wyffe, and her view is that the notion of fan-girls tapping on bedroom windows is unacceptable due to certain moral reservations upon which we approximately agree.

I explained to her that the fan-girls would be an ineluctable and inseparable part of the whole, the negligible price of the greater good, but her view was adamantine and immovable. Thanks for your sterling efforts, in gratitude for which I have duly seen that your maritime persona has been relieved of onerous pumping duties.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 02:40 PM

Tut, tut, my good sir. I am merely waving the red flag at the bull, as I think you well know, and I am most gratified by your response. By all means, continue to regale us with your exquisitely crafted metaphorial ballads and your stunning mastery of scansion, rythm, and plot. As a matter of fact, I think you should start doing what WAV has been doing for years and post them all over the Internet on every possible site, blog, and forum, not just in this little hidey-hole of ours here. You could become a household word if you were to persist in that endeavour, and you would soon have a mailbox full of fan mail (plus a little hate mail, probably) and you would be besieged by groupie girls who would hide in the hedges and tap on your windows at night.

What is holding you back?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 02:13 PM

My stirring metaphorical ballads, LH have at least some claim to scansion, rhythm and plot. Your addle-pated phantasms have none of these.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 01:32 PM

IF you find him a sixpack of cheap beer he'll be happy for a week. Don't come bumming around here trying to cast blame. We don't have beer. This is a virtual forum.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 01:31 PM

He's not ignoring you, Don. He's defending his crazy poetry, that's all. Don't take it personally.

Look, we all care deeply about what happens to Shane. We do. It's on our minds all the time. Anyway, I wouldn't worry too much. No amount of alcohol can kill a McBride (at least not in one day anyway) and you know that. He will get over this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 01:28 PM

Don't flippin' IGNORE ME, man! You do it at yer own flippin' perill.

- Don McBride


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 01:24 PM

Little Hawk, you have a tin ear and the aesthetic sensibility of a dead Fribble, the taste of last year's dust-mop, and the artistic eye of an inebriated warthog. Your appetites are jejeune, callow, and ingenuous at best. Cease your melodramatic histrionics and settle down. Honestly, just because you don't like bilge pumping...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Big Brother Don
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 01:05 PM

Youse flipheads have done it this time! My little brother Shane is tippin' over the edge and goin' down to total flippin' distruckshion and it is all becoz of youse! Most of alls I blaim Rapaire for this. You will be sorry, man. I flippin' promise you that.

The boy is flippin' beside himself. He has been drinkin' like a flippin' fish and embarrasin' the whole nayboerhood.

Look here, man. Look at what you done! He even cut off half his flippin' hair with a sissors and he looks terruble!

My little brother in total dispare!


- Don McBride


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 01:00 PM

By the way, you can rest assured that when those threads are connected, the exact manner of that connection will make absolutely no sense.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 12:53 PM

Wait a minute! Officer Dana's marryin' some dude named Archie. Archie of "Archie Comics" fame is engaged to Veronica Lodge. (Yes it's official. He chose Veronica, not Betty, much to the displeasure of "Archie" fans worldwide.) Penelope Rutledge's little sister is also named Veronica and she, like Ms Lodge, has more money than brains.

The threads are starting to connect, though the exact nature of that connection has yet to be revealed. Stay tuned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 12:43 PM

Amos, what can I do to persuade you to stop these interminable maritime maunderings you are inflicting upon the world? Gawd! It's more annoying than WAV's poetry. When will we have surcease from this dreadful stuff? Have you no shame? Is nothing sacred? (waving my arms around and turning red in the face as I ask the standard dramatic questions....)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 12:28 PM

Susan?

My name's not Lisa or however that song goes.

My next door neighbor is also having Internet problems. So I'm sending the repair guy out to check their junction boxes in the neighborhood. It ain't in the house.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:11 AM

So we felt a little hope about
The ending of the day
It had started out like sour death
But hadn't turned out that way.
So the Skipper handed out a tot
From some rum he'd stored away
And said, "Here's a toast to a feisty crew,
And the thirty-three of K!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:10 AM

So they paid the seam and like a sailor's dream,
The water stayed outside
And everyone said Ed was a champ
And welcome to the ride.
The wind backed round about that time
Blowing clean on the starbahd quahter
And a little break in the scudding clouds
Lent some sunlight to the water.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:10 AM

ANd they hung him into that foul aft bilge
By his heels with a double-hitch,
And he cussed and hammered and caulked that leak
And then he asked for pitch.
Well the pitch was cold, it was hard as ice
Like a crystal lump of coal
And there weren't no fire for'd or aft
TO melt that pitch's soul.
But Kendall said he knew a trick
To help us in our muddle,
And he whispered some cuss words over that lump
That reduced it to a puddle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:09 AM

Now Ed, he knew a thing or two
And he'd been feeling bored
So he'd dug about, when his watch stood down,
In the bosn's stores up forward.
And he made his way aft, and came below
Hanging on to the frozen lines
With a couple of bags of oakum hemp,
Some pitch and a caulkin' iron.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 11:09 AM

They was pumpin' hard the rest of the day
But water, it came back.
And Little Hawk declared he had
A problem with his back.
And old Rapaire he sat down, too
Invoked his PTSD,
Said he didn't care if we all went down
To the cold embrace of the sea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 10:12 AM

"I have a list here of every cable installer fired in the last four years. Check out some of these names: Murray Slaughter, George Jetson, Jean Luc Picard, there's even somebody who liked to call himself "The Big Ragoo".

"HI! Is there a problem with your service?
Yeah, my cable is out.
Really? So you call me? Ha, funny how you call when you NEED something. Is that how you treat people"?

"You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music".

More from "Cable Guy"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 09:55 AM

Just keep pumping...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 09:08 AM

I believe that Veronica Rutledge has recently "come out of the closet."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 08:48 AM

The Cable Guy:
Women are a labyrinth, my friend. Can I be frank? I don't think you listen to her. I think you tell her what she wants to hear. She wants you to thirst for knowledge about who she is, all the complicated splendor that is women. When your love is truly giving, it will come back to you ten fold.
Steven Kovacs:
You're right. That's incredibly insightful.
The Cable Guy:
I know. It was Jerry Springer's final thought on Friday's show.

Quote from, The Cable Guy


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 07:52 AM

Cable Guy....I saw the first movie....now a Stilly River sequel?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 06:03 AM

Officer Dana is going to marry H. Archibald Cogswell III? Archie? I thought he was already engaged to Veronica Lodge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 11:07 PM

So....


Susan....




you....






find....





that....









your...







inter.....














net.....





is....




kind of........






............slow?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 10:38 PM

Mr. and Mrs. John C. Dana are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter, Jennifer, to Mr. H. Archibald Cogswell III of Vancouver.

The bride-to-be is a graduate of the University of Toronto, where she took her degree in Police Science; she is currently serving as a Corporal in the Ontario Provincial Police.

Mr. Cogswell is the son of the late Dr. and Mrs. H. Archibald Cogswell. He is holds a doctorate in theoretical physics and is currently employed by the Canadian Space Agency (l'Agence Spatiale Canadienne) where he is in training to serve on the International Space Station. He also is a member of Canada's Olympic pistol team and has a black belt in Aikido. He earlier served in Aghanistan as a sniper in the Defence Forces, where following a series of battlefied commissions he rose to the rank of Major.

No date for the nuptials has been announced.


                                           --Toronto Sun


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 10:22 PM

Origin:
1620–30; < Gk palíndromos recurring, equiv. to pálin again, back + -dromos running (see -drome )

The world's longest Palindromic string is here. I will not dignify it by calling it a sentence. The longest English palindromic word is redivider (9 letters). The longest palindromic word in any language is saippuakivikauppias (19 letters), Finnish for lye dealer.

SO there ye go.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 10:06 PM

my Internet is loading at 1/10th of the speed it's supposed to. Funny, but as long as modem is connected to the router, I get something, but if the cable runs straight to the computer from the modem, I don't get anything.

Cable guy is coming over tomorrow.

Bummer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 10:00 PM

Oh dear, Dee-dubya-ell. You been taking too much tylenol, or inhaling fumes from your glazes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 09:57 PM

Ed's answer is indisputable.,..


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