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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Janie 21 Feb 09 - 09:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Feb 09 - 09:42 PM
Amos 21 Feb 09 - 09:36 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 09 - 09:13 PM
Janie 21 Feb 09 - 09:04 PM
Amos 21 Feb 09 - 08:05 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 09 - 04:57 PM
Acme 21 Feb 09 - 03:13 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 09 - 02:31 PM
Amos 21 Feb 09 - 01:40 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 09 - 12:37 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Feb 09 - 11:55 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Feb 09 - 11:55 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Feb 09 - 11:54 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Feb 09 - 11:52 AM
Rapparee 21 Feb 09 - 10:59 AM
Acme 21 Feb 09 - 10:20 AM
Acme 21 Feb 09 - 10:19 AM
Amos 21 Feb 09 - 03:33 AM
Acme 21 Feb 09 - 12:26 AM
Acme 20 Feb 09 - 10:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Feb 09 - 09:51 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 09 - 06:55 PM
Acme 20 Feb 09 - 04:09 PM
Little Hawk 20 Feb 09 - 03:40 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 09 - 02:40 PM
Acme 20 Feb 09 - 02:28 PM
Little Hawk 20 Feb 09 - 02:02 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 09 - 01:21 PM
Little Hawk 20 Feb 09 - 01:12 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 09 - 12:50 PM
MMario 20 Feb 09 - 11:33 AM
Rapparee 20 Feb 09 - 11:28 AM
Acme 20 Feb 09 - 10:09 AM
Amos 20 Feb 09 - 09:46 AM
Amos 20 Feb 09 - 09:37 AM
Janie 20 Feb 09 - 09:24 AM
Rapparee 20 Feb 09 - 08:02 AM
Janie 19 Feb 09 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 19 Feb 09 - 10:30 PM
Acme 19 Feb 09 - 10:09 PM
Little Hawk 19 Feb 09 - 09:06 PM
Janie 19 Feb 09 - 08:02 PM
Little Hawk 19 Feb 09 - 07:35 PM
Janie 19 Feb 09 - 07:29 PM
Rapparee 19 Feb 09 - 06:52 PM
Acme 19 Feb 09 - 06:41 PM
Rapparee 19 Feb 09 - 04:22 PM
Acme 19 Feb 09 - 03:45 PM
Amos 19 Feb 09 - 03:22 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 09:58 PM

I have had a number of clients over the years who have reported medical issues with sugar dibs, high blood and very close veins.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 09:42 PM

I had dibs omce. A week-long regimen of antibiotics got rid of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 09:36 PM

Rapaire, Rapaire,
'T is sad, but true,
That all that is
Is not 'bout you....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 09:13 PM

The only 7 number worth having is 77777 and I have dibs on it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 09:04 PM

How synchronistic. On some NPR show today there was an interview that made reference to The magic number seven, plus or minus two.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 08:05 PM

Lhude, sirrah, not "lewdly". Besides, it is going out. Here in San Diego the first flavors of spring have begun, with the cold rains a faint memory and the warming promise of toasty beaches and gentle surf ahead.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 04:57 PM

Lewdly sing GODDAM.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 03:13 PM

It's always something. I was in a hurry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 02:31 PM

Lhudely sing GODDAM.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 01:40 PM

The summer sun comes laughing out
Over the flowered lawns
And rollicks down the warming sands
Where the beach folk have all gone.

In Spring the son a lovers dance
Comes courtly over trees
In the blush of green and hopeful hours
That come up by degrees.

But winter is a time of woe
When everybody loses
And then the sun is sulken, low,
Preoccupied with blueses.
It does not dance, or sing, or love,
In Winter, it just oozes.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 12:37 PM

You are all MEAN. I'm gonna tell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 11:55 AM

27,777


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 11:55 AM

But there's only one legit way to have four sevens...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 11:54 AM

But sevens are supposed to be good luck. Maybe Stilly was just trying to improve her fortunes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 11:52 AM

It's also one too many sevens. It's only supposed to be 27772.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 10:59 AM

NO! It's not. It's not even a palindrome. It's an ugly number you stole while I was helping Piers (upstairs) with playing the trumpet (a/k/a God's Own Musical Instrument). But that's okay because I have the satisfaction of knowing that I have been helping someone further their musical ability while you have to live with the guilt.

Haha so there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 10:20 AM

277772
is a nice spinner, don't you think?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 10:19 AM

I bet it took them a while before they could both laugh about that story!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 03:33 AM

To night we prepared a nice dnnner for two old friends we haven't seen in years, and they told us a true story about a woman who carefully wove her way around the barriers at the entrance to a freeway ramp that was closed for repair, and drove straight into a huge patch of fresh poured quick-drying concrete, much to the amazement and annoyance of the men who were working there,


She finally got out with their help, and they hosed the car off and warned her to get it put up on a hoist and cleaned but she was so put out by the incident that she drove home and pouted instead.

Her husband came home and seeing she was in a bad mood tried to cheer her up by telling her the"... funny story he had heard to day about some dingy broad who drove past a barricade at a freeway ramp in a yellow....a yellow....oh, no....tell me that wasn't you....".

No, this really IS a true a story!!! Poor guy ended up with a hammer and a brick-set under the car on a crawler chipping off the remainders of concrete from the transmission case.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 09 - 12:26 AM

Hey, MOM! I finished my income taxes tonight. I have the weekend for good stuff now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 10:01 PM

It's like living inside a drum when one of those storms passes over the house, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 09:51 PM

Hi Mom! Sorry I haven't been around for a couple of days. I've been incommunicato courtesy of a horrendous hailstorm that blew through here Wednesday night. It screwed up some phone company stuff. Fortunately, the biggest of the hailstones were only about 3/4" so they didn't damage our cars or anything, but there were LOTS of 'em. Covered the ground about two inches deep in three minutes. It was whatchacall intense. And noisy too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 06:55 PM

"Leaving a trail of slime where ever he goes...."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 04:09 PM

For reference: (from My Fair Lady, "You Did It")

Bear in mind that in the film version this oily character was played by the absolutely MARVELOUS Theo Bikel.



Pickering Tonight, old man, you did it!
You did it! You did it! You said that you would do it,
And indeed you did. I thought that you would rue it;
I doubted you'd do it. But now I must admit it
That succeed you did. You should get a medal
Or be even made a knight. Henry It was nothing.
Really nothing. Pickering All alone you hurdled
Every obstacle in sight. Henry Now, wait! Now, wait!
Give credit where it's due, A lot of the glory goes to you.
Pickering But you're the one who did it,
Who did it, who did it! As sturdy as Gibraltar,
Not a second did you falter. There's no doubt about it,
You did it! I must have aged a year tonight.
At times I thought I'd die of fright.
Never was there a momentary lull Henry
Shortly after we came in I saw at once we'd easily win;
And after that I found it deadly dull. Pickering
You should have heard the ooh's and ah's;
Every one wondering who she was. Henry
You'd think they'd never seen a lady before. Pickering
And when the Prince of Transylvania
Asked to meet her,
And gave his arm to lead her to the floor...! I said to him:
You did it! You did it! You did it!
They thought she was ecstatic
And so damned aristocratic,
And they never knew
That you
Did it! Henry Thank Heavens for Zoltan Karparthy.
If it weren't for him I would have died of boredom.
He was there, all right. And up to his old tricks.
Mrs. Pearce Karparthy? That dreadful Hungarian?
Was he there? Henry Yes.
That blackguard who uses the science of speech
More to blackmail and swindle than teach;
He made it the devilish business of his
'To find out who this Miss Doolittle is.'
Every time we looked around
There he was, that hairy hound From Budapest.
Never leaving us alone, Never have I ever known
A ruder pest Fin'lly I decided it was foolish
Not to let him have his chance with her.
So I stepped aside and let him dance with her.
Oozing charm from every pore
He oiled his way around the floor.
Every trick that he could play,
He used to strip her mask away.
And when at last the dance was done,
He glowed as if he knew he'd won!
And with a voice to eager,
And a smile too broad, He announced to the hostess
That she was a fraud! Mrs. Pearce No!
Henry Ja wohl! Her English is too good, he said,
Which clearly indicates that she is foreign.
Whereas others are instructed in their native language
English people aren't.
And although she may have studied with an expert
Di'lectician and grammarian, I can tell that she was born
Hungarian! Not only Hungarian, but of royal blood,
she is a princess! Servants Congratulations,
Professor Higgins, For your glorious victory!
Congratulations, Professor Higgins!
You'll be mentioned in history! Rest of Servants
(Simultaneously) Congratulations, Professor Higgins!
For your glorious Victory! Congratulations,
Professor Higgins! Sing hail and hallelujah!
Every bit of credit For it all belongs to you!
Footman (Simultaneously with Rest of Servants)
This evening, sir, you did it! You did it! You did it!
You said that you would do it And indeed you did.
This evening, sir, you did it! You did it! You did it!
We know that we have said it,
But-you did it and the credit
For it all belongs to you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 03:40 PM

"Oozing charms from every pore, he oiled his way around the floor."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 02:40 PM

I used to know a guy who was an oozy son of a...well, he was pretty slimy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 02:28 PM

Every time the train passes a mile from here I can feel the vibration and hear the slight rattling of some framed art on the walls. The sun doesn't stomp or rattle or anything. Just oozes across the top.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 02:02 PM

Wouldn't the act of "tossing him out" have itself been rather hazardous?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 01:21 PM

Until we tossed him out permanently we used to have a guy come into the Library who cracked the foundations of building for blocks around whenever he fell down. The Seismographic Laboratory at the University always recorded it as a major, major quake and alerted the cops, who would reply, "Nah, Joel fell down again."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 01:12 PM

Every time my dachshund utters a deep sigh and FLOPS! down to his position of rest on the carpet, the Earth wobbles a little. Then there was the time Eddie Whatnoll fell off the couch while he was having a bad dream. The tremors were felt as far away as Tierra Del Fuego.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 12:50 PM

Exactly! As the Earth spins the Sun pulls the oceans in its daily journey around the Earth. This imparts a double wobble to the Earth, but we don't notice it because the "wobble waves" are so close together that we feel them as one rather than two.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 11:33 AM

Well of course it wobbles a little bit. Haven't you ever watched those guys spinning plates on poles? They always wobble a bit.

It's the whatchamacallit - hygroscopic effect caused by the uneven distribution of the weight of the oceans on the spinning disk of the earth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 11:28 AM

Oh geez, everybody knows the earth doesn't just sit there with the sun revolving around it! It wobbles a little bit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 10:09 AM

That's a line of sunshine that came between the house and the garage that morning. Contrary to popular belief, the sun doesn't sit out in space with the planet turning nearby, Old Sol spends a lot of time out in the woods on both sides of our yard, travelling from the front yard in the morning to the back yard in the evening, and during the night it creeps around the ox bow down in the creek bed to come back to the front yard the next morning. This photo was when it was just peeking through those woods to see if anyone was up and watching yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 09:46 AM

Is CInnamon playing on the first-base line? Or is that where the force-field fence is buried (the yellow strip with the bone on it).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 09:37 AM

THe mandate to survive covers a very wide spectrum of human actyion, not just one desperate body's survival. Families survive, too. SO do companies and civilizations. Or not.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 09:24 AM

Yep. ain't nuttin' like finding a groundhog along the side of the road that is swelled up just right!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 09 - 08:02 AM

If yer talkin' survival, yer talkin' eatin' whatever you can: cats, dogs, maggots, bugs, birds' eggs, ugly fish, horses, dead animals that ain't too far "gone" -- stuff you'd otherwise pass up and mebbe throw up. Anything else ain't survival.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 10:51 PM

Talkin' survival here. Got no pics I can post of some of the great dogs that have shared my life, but based on the premise that I would prefer not to "et" what I have "pet", the dog I would want with me would be a hound-lab mix, of which I have co-habitated with several. What you get is a good hunting dog that loves to obey, and will bring those groundhogs and possums right to you, not chewed up so awful bad that you can't roast or stew them, which means you don't have to contemplate dog roast, but if you do, a lot more meat on a bigger dog.

"Course, if yer in urban areas or near a wharf, a good rat dog like a leetle weinerdog or a small terrier might be just the ticket.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 10:30 PM

How much meat could you get out of her?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 10:09 PM

No, not a scrawny little dachshund. You need a muscular smart pit bull named Cinnamon. That's what you need. Like this. Or this. I tell you, this dog will be the best companion you could imagine. And when you don't need a canine companion, she'll do your income taxes and rearrange your sock drawer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 09:06 PM

Not so! Some are quite meaty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 08:02 PM

I dunno, LH, not much meat on 'em.

(I'll get me coat....)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 07:35 PM

and a dachshund


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 07:29 PM

What you need on hand to fix or survive almost anything

Duct Tape
Tie Wire
Bic lighter
3/8" nylon rope
ripstop nylon tarp
a roll of 3 mil plastic
a butter knife


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 06:52 PM

That is true. Shame McBride (playing in drag, something I'm told he always enjoyed) WAS Reba the Mail Lady.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 06:41 PM

But they were mistaken, that was really the actress who played Reba the Mail Lady, not Shane.

And you can read a lot into that confusion, can't you? The whole town is messed up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 04:22 PM

Did everyone know that the late Shame McBride once appeared on "Pee Wee's Playhouse," playing with Pee Wee Herman? People in Blind River used to say, "Oh, look: two Pee Wees playing with each other."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 03:45 PM

She could choose a whimsical name to telegraph what her specialty is: Harvey's Playhouse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 09 - 03:22 PM

If Janie's hanging out a shingle, I want to suggest she focus on remedies for Imaginary Playmate Syndrome, also known as Proxy-by-George syndrome. If she's going to concentrate on Mike, then she should read up on intellectual kleptomania.



A


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