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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 11:55 AM
Acme 10 Feb 09 - 11:39 AM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 11:30 AM
Amos 10 Feb 09 - 11:13 AM
Acme 10 Feb 09 - 11:08 AM
Amos 10 Feb 09 - 11:04 AM
Rapparee 10 Feb 09 - 09:06 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 09 - 12:40 AM
Acme 09 Feb 09 - 11:35 PM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 09 - 10:49 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Feb 09 - 10:40 PM
Acme 09 Feb 09 - 10:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Feb 09 - 06:58 PM
GUEST,Colonel Sir Nigel West, CGC (Ret.) 09 Feb 09 - 06:23 PM
Little Hawk 09 Feb 09 - 03:51 PM
Amos 09 Feb 09 - 03:22 PM
Rapparee 09 Feb 09 - 12:44 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Feb 09 - 11:07 AM
Amos 09 Feb 09 - 10:58 AM
Acme 09 Feb 09 - 10:16 AM
MMario 09 Feb 09 - 10:06 AM
Rapparee 09 Feb 09 - 09:00 AM
Rapparee 09 Feb 09 - 08:46 AM
Amos 08 Feb 09 - 11:44 PM
Acme 08 Feb 09 - 11:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Feb 09 - 10:02 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 09 - 09:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Feb 09 - 08:17 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 09 - 06:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Feb 09 - 06:38 PM
Acme 08 Feb 09 - 05:53 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 09 - 05:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Feb 09 - 05:19 PM
Janie 08 Feb 09 - 04:54 PM
Amos 08 Feb 09 - 03:42 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 09 - 02:04 PM
VirginiaTam 08 Feb 09 - 12:53 PM
Amos 08 Feb 09 - 12:20 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 09 - 12:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Feb 09 - 10:28 AM
VirginiaTam 08 Feb 09 - 06:39 AM
Amos 08 Feb 09 - 12:06 AM
Acme 07 Feb 09 - 11:40 PM
Rapparee 07 Feb 09 - 10:30 PM
Janie 07 Feb 09 - 10:22 PM
Rapparee 07 Feb 09 - 10:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Feb 09 - 07:44 PM
Rapparee 07 Feb 09 - 06:27 PM
Janie 07 Feb 09 - 05:44 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Feb 09 - 04:58 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:55 AM

Which goes to prove that Amos is a closet Republican.

C'mon, Amos. 'fess up. It'll do your soul good to admit it. And you'll stop being under PTSD since the 1932 election.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:39 AM

Very true, evidence is turning up. But I think they may have been cast in plaster by Amos in his back yard, then chucked down in the construction hole at night when no one was looking.

He's funny that way. Probably doesn't even remember doing it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:30 AM

Republicans have infested San Diego since the last Ice Age, at least. Evidence in form of tusks and skeletons is being found even as I write this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:13 AM

The art of presenting dudgeon as a form of apology, by the way, is a little-noted skill in public relations often used by Republicans. I remark on this simply in order to tag yet another piece of evidence in my growing file of evidence that Rapaire, under his mild-mannered bookish exterior, is a Republican at heart.

I expect as the evidence accumulates I shall be in a position to file charges sometime in the fourth quarter of the present year.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:08 AM

I found it, I hadn't dropped far enough down the screen to find Rap's quip.

Looks like rain today, MOM. You might want to move your chair and wicker table further back from the edge of the porch or your newspaper and paperback mystery might get wet from the splash off of the rail.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 11:04 AM

(For those unfamiliar with Rapaire-speak, the above is the equivalent of a profuse apology.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 09:06 AM

To misattribute a quotation is An Offense; to attribute such a quotation to a lady is unconscionable. Sir, my friend Mr. Amos will call upon you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 09 - 12:40 AM

I apologize to Ms Sage. It was Mr. Rapaire who posted the offending comment.

But, see, it only goes to prove my point. I am an idiot!

And since I missed the opportunity to name the standard unit of idiocy after myself, I do now propose such a unit, to be called an "Idion". My little gaff of accusing Stilly of making Rapaire's offensive comment is worth about 20 Idions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 11:35 PM

By the way, in response to Ms Sage's comment, "And weren't you positing a 'dubyan' after yourself, really?"....

I didn't say that! I wouldn't even think that! Too many unfortunate souls with a "W" in their names would be forever shackled to the Bubba image Dubya cultivated were that kind of bias practiced once that putz left office.

I didn't see that in the other remarks either. Are you making any bongs along with your pots and plates and bowls and humidors? Maybe a little smoke got in your eyes when you were reading earlier?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:49 PM

Good of you to compliment Penelope Rutledge, Colonel West. Yes, she is indeed the epitome of elegance, and always has been so. Veronica is going through a difficult age now, testing her limits as it were, but I trust that in time she will rise to the challenge and meet the standards of excellence long associated with her family.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:40 PM

By the way, in response to Ms Sage's comment, "And weren't you positing a 'dubyan' after yourself, really?"....

No. A Dubyan is a unit of stupidity, not idiocy. I have never claimed to be stupid, only to be an idiot. I did not call the Dubyan a "unit of idiocy". Had I done so, you might make a case for my having named it after myself. But I didn't. If I had thought about it, I may have assigned some other name to the unit of stupidity, and reserved "Dubyan" for for some more noble cause. But it's too late now. The die has been cast by the fat lady who was singing as she floated on the water passing under the bridge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:32 PM

And not related. I'd always thought Grace was related to Jack (as in Bart Maverick) but it turns out that Jack was the brother of NANCY Kelly (aka the mom in The Bad Seed).

Keira is okay in some things (probably the ones I haven't seen, like Pirates of the Caribbean) but she was a LOUSY Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice. Though she was closer to the right age than some actresses who have played the role, she just spent too much time grinning and trying to slide through the role that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 06:58 PM

This photograph is the epitome of elegance. Two, count them, two people with scores of 100 Astairions in the same photograph! And both of them named Kelly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Colonel Sir Nigel West, CGC (Ret.)
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 06:23 PM

Penelope Rutledge is the epitome of elegance; I hope very much that Veronica becomes so. It is unwelcome, at least to me, to see the Grand Old Families going the way so many of them are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 03:51 PM

Keira Knightly is the very epitome of elegance, Bee-Dub, and I highly recommend most of the movies she has appeared in. She reminds me a lot of Penelope Rutledge in her general appearance, but she's not quite as aggressively assertive as Penelope (though somewhat so on occasion), and she's a bit younger as well. You can't ask for a more elegant form of beauty than that of Keira Knightly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 03:22 PM

Well, in this case I was referring to the ass of which it was said "the law is one".

In this respect, although I am not an outlaw as far as I know, and if I recall correctly, in my humble opinion, I may be an off-law. It has already been established that I am an in-law, which is neither here nor there, on or off, six of one or half-a-dozen of the other. But I have always been slightly off on the law anyway so I may as well learn to live with it and be the best off-law I can be.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 12:44 PM

Please put it back on, Amos. You'd look strange without an ass. Unless, of course, you mean the kind you can ride and in that case you should say that you're on the floor because you laughed yourself off your ass. Now, the ass could say, "I'm rolling on the floor laughing my Amos off" but...never mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 11:07 AM

The #1 Google Image Search result for "elegance" is a picture of actress Keira Knightley. I've heard her name, but don't watch enough movies to feel qualified to judge on her elegance level.

The #1 Google Image Search result for "inelegance" is this cartoon. I believe that's Michael Moore standing by the box.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:58 AM

Abbreviations are for lazy people. I leave them to the feckless and under-employed. I, for example, am laughing out loud, although I am not a lawyer and your mileage may vary. In fact I an rolling on the floor laughing my ass off at some of these recent witticisms.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:16 AM

I think we'd all be out-classed by a "politician" (unless it is the unstable variety, called a "Palin." A "Palin" shovels it out in large quantities, but is known to shovel from the bottom of the deck and fling the more toxic material first instead of mixing it up and diluting the toxicitiy.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 10:06 AM

the tauroflop is such a small unit though. Most BS gets measured in herds or most commonly megaherds. There are a million herds in a megaherd, and a thousand tauroflops per herd.

YOu can see that around here, even megaherds are usually inadaquate for measuring the BS. Luckily - the politician (equal to 1 million megaherds) is available for higher rates of BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 09:00 AM

And I would be measured in petasolons?

I want to know why BS isn't measured in tauriflops.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 09 - 08:46 AM

How do you plan to abbreviate these "units of measure" without confusing them with others? And upon what basis is the meaure based?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 11:44 PM

Well, I will honor the elegance of the platon in place of sages per morphemic array as units of wisdom, although you have to have the second unit to give character to the rate of flow. I would hazard a guess that 100 insights equals a platon, and 100 platons equals a solon.

I like thinking of posting stupidities in terms of dumkopfs per pica line, because you can compare thread-posters with book authors. In general book authors have more total dumkopfs in a book, but on a per line basis, the thread-mongers take the cake.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 11:36 PM

I'll see you an Astaire and raise you a Charisse.

Or a Kelly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 10:02 PM

More so than ever. None of the others you've listed score more than 30 Astairions on the elegance scale. In fact, some of them sound downright repulsive. Their elegance score is negative. The unit for measurement of lack of elegance is a "Mooron", named in recognition of documentary film maker Michael Moore. "Therblig" scores 87 moorons in the inelegance scale.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 09:29 PM

There are also fardel, farthingale, farsakh, fatt, wyde, wey, demisemiquaver, doppelzentner, halakim, hectopascal, therblig, toise, truss, minutum, and a whole bunch of others.

And you still thing "Platon" is a good measure?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 08:17 PM

A plethron is a square measure of 10,000 Greek feet. I bet it smells really bad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 06:59 PM

Well,

petabecquerel,
petaflops,
pferdestärke,
pfund,
phot,
picofarad,
picolo,
picomole,
picotesla,
pieze,
plethron,
poiseuille,
poncelet,
pottle,
pud,

are all names for various measurements that begin with P. And I don't find any of them to be really pleasant for pontification.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 06:38 PM

It's called a "Platon" because it is an elegant name. The standard unit of elegance is an "Astairion" (named in recognition of Fred Astaire) and "Platon" gets a score of 95 out of a possible 100 Astairions. It's short, easy to remember, and ends in "on" like a good unit should. The only reason it doesn't score 100 Astairions is that some people tend to spit when saying any word beginning with a "P".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 05:53 PM

I would call that "in recognition."

"Honor" and referents to George W. Bush (such as "Dubya") are oxymorons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 05:52 PM

So what about us post-modern deconstructionalist Cartesians, huh? And our motto, "Cogito cogito cogito, ergo cogito cogito sum, cogito" where does your little "platon" leave that?

And why is is named after Plato, who basically stole his stuff Aristotle? Why not call it an "Aristotilan" instead? Or a "thrales" after Thrales?

And weren't you positing a "dubyan" after yourself, really?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 05:19 PM

I propose a unit of wisdom to be known as a "Platon", in honor of Plato. The maximum number of Platons in a given statement is one hundred. Descartes' "I think, therefore I am" is an example of a 100 Platon statement. (I'm talking about Descartes' original realization, not some college freshman mindlessly reciting it to pass a Philosophy 101 exam. Within that context, it's only worth 2.5 Platons.)

Of course, it is possible for a statement to exhibit negative wisdom. I further propose a unit of negative wisdom (aka stupidity) to be known as a "Dubyan", in honor of a recently departed head of state.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 04:54 PM

Hence, the birth of MOAB!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 03:42 PM

Well, now, it is not that simple. A single complex post can have large dimensions even though brief, and can throw weights in units of immaturity (dumpkopfs per pica line) at the same time as it demonstrates large numbers of units of wisdom (so many sages per morphemic array).

So it takes deep analysis to derive the correct metrics for any given poster.

And many analysts are easily fooled because they miss the subtle layers and velleities of given word-choices.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 02:04 PM

And you'll be right there with the rest of us, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 12:53 PM

Ahh so you measure immaturity and stupidity in units too?

By counting number of stupid posts one can determine the relative maturity of a poster?

I am in trouble. I will have a unit age that is in the negative figures.

Sigh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 12:20 PM

I have known some adults about whom I would agree with you, sir.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 12:06 PM

Which is why preschool and kindergarten should be for adults only.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 10:28 AM

Yeah, the nut thing. At the preschool my grandson attends, there's one child allergic to peanuts and another allergic to tree nuts. Since kids tend to share stuff from their lunches, parents are required to mark lunchbags containing anything nutty and the teachers have to make sure all lunches at the table where the allergic kids sit are nut-free in case anything gets swapped.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 06:39 AM

You forgot nuts. Are these treats nut, gluten, sugar and sugar substitute, artifical flavour and vegetable dye free?

Yes... Yes they are... they are rice cakes see?

Pass!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 09 - 12:06 AM

Helluva thing, for bringing cupcakes!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Feb 09 - 11:40 PM

If you tried to take cupcakes to a school classroom today you'd be arrested, the cupcakes would be x-rayed then taken to the lab to be tested for drugs, poison, or narcotics, and you children would be kicked out of school and sent to one of those tough "alternative" schools for the next two months.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 09 - 10:30 PM

Hey, they were home made. Besides, I once won a cupcake in a spelling bee -- I spelled "dictionary" correctly and won. Not bad for the fourth grade, huh?

You see, mothers were expected to provide treats for the entire class on your birthday or whenever asked. Since on my birthday the school was usually closed (my birthday was then a High Holy Day) I didn't have a problem. But one brother and my sister did (the other brother also had the foresight to be born on day when the school would be closed). And when your mother has to make treats for 30 to 40 kids she goes for fast and cheap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Feb 09 - 10:22 PM

What a cheesy school you went to, Rapaire. No wonder you're weird and warped.

Cupcake.   Humph!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 09 - 10:12 PM

Mom baked cakes and cookies on Saturday mornings while we watched a circus show on TV. Make 'em from scratch, too. During the week she might bake some bread if money so tight we couldn't afford day-old bread at 10 cents a loaf.

I think it would be nice to say, "That really takes the brownie!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Feb 09 - 07:44 PM

I never did a cakewalk. I remember cakewalks at elementary school Halloween carnivals, but I never really understood what they were for. I guess I couldn't understand why anyone would pay money to try and win a cake that some stranger had baked. Heck, Grandma baked three or four cakes a week. Cakes were FREE! All you had to do was go to Grandma's house. You didn't pay money for 'em! Money was for candy bars.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 09 - 06:27 PM

Bee-dub has a good question here. In grade school we used to do a cake walk and the prize was a cupcake. How come nobody says, "That certainly takes the cupcake!" or "If I knew you were comin' I'd have baked a pie"?? Lots of times I rather have a nice piece of pie Or doughnuts (donuts). Or crullers. Or apfelstrudel. Why a cake?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Feb 09 - 05:44 PM

Think "sarcasm", m'dear!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Feb 09 - 04:58 PM

So that's where the expression comes from! From winning cakes at cakewalks. WOBH!

But winning a cake at a cakewalk is a good thing while it seems like every time someone says, "Well that takes the cake!" it's something bad. It seems to mean about the same thing as "That's the straw that broke the camel's back."


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