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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 29 Jul 08 - 12:00 AM
Amos 28 Jul 08 - 11:57 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 08 - 09:03 PM
Amos 28 Jul 08 - 04:46 PM
Amos 28 Jul 08 - 04:45 PM
Little Hawk 28 Jul 08 - 04:07 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 08 - 03:59 PM
Amos 28 Jul 08 - 01:34 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 08 - 01:02 PM
Amos 28 Jul 08 - 11:25 AM
Acme 28 Jul 08 - 11:10 AM
Amos 28 Jul 08 - 09:16 AM
Rapparee 28 Jul 08 - 09:01 AM
Amos 27 Jul 08 - 09:59 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 08 - 09:31 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 08 - 04:57 PM
Amos 27 Jul 08 - 04:31 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 08 - 10:42 AM
Acme 27 Jul 08 - 01:32 AM
Rapparee 26 Jul 08 - 11:37 PM
Amos 26 Jul 08 - 11:28 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 08 - 10:26 PM
Amos 26 Jul 08 - 08:03 PM
Acme 26 Jul 08 - 03:43 PM
Amos 26 Jul 08 - 03:27 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 08 - 02:18 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 08 - 04:06 PM
Amos 25 Jul 08 - 02:40 PM
MMario 25 Jul 08 - 01:24 PM
GUEST,Gluon (and pups) 25 Jul 08 - 01:21 PM
Acme 25 Jul 08 - 10:33 AM
Amos 25 Jul 08 - 10:21 AM
Rapparee 25 Jul 08 - 09:32 AM
Acme 25 Jul 08 - 12:13 AM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 11:27 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 08 - 10:55 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 08 - 09:18 PM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 06:59 PM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 06:58 PM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 06:57 PM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 06:52 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 08 - 06:17 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 08 - 06:08 PM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 04:52 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 08 - 04:41 PM
Acme 24 Jul 08 - 04:32 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 08 - 03:53 PM
Amos 24 Jul 08 - 03:44 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 08 - 02:35 PM
Little Hawk 24 Jul 08 - 01:26 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 08 - 12:00 AM

So, you, object, to, my, misplaced, comma, do, you Amos? ;-) Get thee to a monastery, thou churl, thou vile cutpurse, and adorn thyself in sackcloth and ashes for the nonce. Thou art akin to a vile humour, weighing heavily upon the shrinking air and thou dost offend my senses most greivously. Therefore avaunt, scoundrel! Get thee hence, lest I with a bare bodkin put final surcease to thy wretched existence here and now and leave thee as offal for the carrion birds!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 11:57 PM

There was an old librarian
Of spirit all contrarian
Whose fondest pleasure was to split
All points of view by opposites.

This bookish soul, with verve electric
Did so pursue the dialectic
That all his friends, and his poor Missus
Were swamped with his antitheses!

And while he dusted books and files
He contemplated, with a smile,
(Arranging tomes upon a shelf)
Learning to contradict himself!!

But when he'd try he'd find confusion,
And could not divide his inner fusion
And though he roared with temper splenic,
It only made him schizophrenic.

He'd argue pro, then argue con
He'd move things off and put them on
But somehow found he never could
Believe the bad while preaching good.

And nor, which he found just as sad,
Believe the good while preaching bad!
And sorely though his ego pricked
He could his Self not contradict!!

The struggle finally drove him barmy
And he ran off and jined the Army
Where arguments, both small and big,
Led him at last into the brig.

And there he sat, at even tide,
Argued up points, and took up sides,
But though he leaped and cursed and roared
He with himself stayed in concord.

Alloyisius Tabernacle Quire
Ballads from Pocatello
Legion Press, 1938


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 09:03 PM

Amos,
                         I             don't
                   think                that
                      I                     am
                        but             you
                           never know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 04:46 PM

So, Rapaire...you do know you're talking in circles, right?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 04:45 PM

Oh, LH. Surely you know there should be no comma in that sentence. And you know perfectly well wherefore he is Gluon--you were a member of the MOAB when he was named. Why do you ask why? Wherefore art thou Little Hawk?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 04:07 PM

"Wherefore art thou, Gluon?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 03:59 PM

I dunno...why would you??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 01:34 PM

I have no idea, Rapaire...why would you?




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 01:02 PM

Why would I harm one of Gluon's offspring?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 11:25 AM

I woudl expect Rapaire is old enough and brave enough to say "puppy pee" without flinching. After all he has all those guns and everything.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 11:10 AM

Are you trying to tell us about pup-pee?

It's an occupational hazard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 09:16 AM

I thin it was more a replling concept. I'm sure you've kept up in that art.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 09:01 AM

Handling myself in what way, Amos? I haven't rappelled in years -- is that what you mean?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 09:59 PM

Well, yer too old to be handling yerself that way, and that's the truth.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 09:31 PM

I think Gluon has indeed pupped. There are several small things humping my legs right now, as well as one large one...and one small trickle of Something Warm running down my calf, and it ain't blood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 04:57 PM

But they will still protrude, won't they?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 04:31 PM

You do not have to use Kleenex on your toes. Instead, soak them for thirty minutes in water that starts out as hot as you can bear it. After twenty minutes or so, scrub the calluses off with one of those mini-cheese-graters they sell, and dig under the toenails and clean up the cuticles. When it's all done, soak them a bit longer, then towel them off and lather with a good skin cream, and put on clean soft socks.

If you do all this, you will feel much better and will thank me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 10:42 AM

And toes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 01:32 AM

So a nose-job at your house involves. . .



























Kleenex. Hmmm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 11:37 PM

Dang. I thought it was called a nose.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 11:28 PM

Those are called priapism, Rapaire.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 10:26 PM

I have projections whenever I stand up or lay down. Some of them are permanent.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 08:03 PM

Why would Mom want to project something like us?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 03:43 PM

No, we are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 03:27 PM

IS Mom a projection?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 08 - 02:18 PM

Good heavens, Mom! We turn our backs for just a little tiny moment and I find you nearly at the bottom, between Ghanaian sweets and smoking a White Horse folk festival! And you're all covered in...well, you're a fright! Here, go take a nice warm bath and have some lunch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 04:06 PM

Who knows when/where, or even if/or? You know it's hard to tell with Gluon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 02:40 PM

Hey!! When did Gluon's maternal eigenstate sheaf coalesce into an actual reproductive vector?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 01:24 PM

And when a duck-dog licks you there is a possiblity that one either stays licked or were never licked at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Gluon (and pups)
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 01:21 PM

Quark!


Slobber!


Whimper! 



Quark!


Drool!


Quark!


Whimper!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 10:33 AM

Sit where you are and my puppy Poppy will come commiserate with you. She loves for someone to sit still so she can wiggle and cuddle and she'll lick your wounds. The dog hair will wash out, and the slobber isn't industrial strength like Cinnamon comes up with. When a pit bull licks you, you stay licked.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 10:21 AM

I am so sorry, Rapaire. I know my Acts of Will sometimes get a little zingy, causing spiritual perturbations in the aether in regions far beyond my normal mortal sphere of influence. I just didn't know you were in the line of fire. Oh, God, I feel like Dick Cheney!! I promise never to beam a psychic impulse in your direction again ever!!


...Welll....



Hardly ever.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 09:32 AM

I didn't bang into the dresser. I got to the charleston/hornpipe part and fell down the steps, all thirteen of them. I tried to grab the rope on my way down but the trapdoor opened and I missed it.

Oh, man!, am I bruised, sore, mictruated, stiff, lacerated, macerated, fractured, cut, and generally debilitated. And it's all Amos' fault.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jul 08 - 12:13 AM

But don't bang into the dresser when you do! The room is small.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 11:27 PM

Just do the Murdoch Moor until you start to feel the chimig start up, and then jump in. Simple!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 10:55 PM

I want to know how to "chimig in". It sounds like the sort of perverted thing a SoCal native would do and it might be fun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 09:18 PM

It certainly is a lovely number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:59 PM

But most of all, I'm glad that Mom
Made Twenty-four K, six!


Winfred Donuthole
Songs from a Silver Diner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:58 PM

I'm glad for Still and Leedle Hack,
And Rapaire's dirty tricks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:57 PM

I'm glad we're all still chimig in,
And each has got his licks....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:52 PM

Interesting definition, Sir Paire. I can only assume you derived it from your own experiments?

A Ritchie County, West Virginia farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring farm and knocked at the door. A young boy about 9 years old opened the door.

'Is yer Dad home?' the farmer asked.

'No sir, he ain't,' the boy replied. 'He went into town.'

'Well,' said the farmer, 'is yer Mom here?'

'No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad.'

'How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?'

'He went with Mom and Dad.'

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

'Is there anything I can do fer ya?' the boy asked politely.

'I know where all the tools are if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad.'

'Well,' said the farmer uncomfortably, 'I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant.'

The boy considered for a moment. 'You would have to talk to Pa about that' he finally conceded.   'If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard.'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:17 PM

It's not REAL depravity unless worms are involved.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 06:08 PM

Indubitably, my good chap. Indubitably.

Haven't you always wanted to be a mustachioed British gent clad in an expensive smoking jacket and wearing a monocle, who opens his study doors only to find several complete strangers of both genders entangled in a mass of nude and palpitating bodies on his priceless Persian rug, clearly engaged in what is politely referred to as "group coition"...upon which said gent's jaw drops to the floor in utter gobsmacked outrage, and he utters these undying words:

"WHAT...IS....THE MEANING OF THIS????!!"

I know I have. ;-D

I love those sort of scenes. The confrontation of stuffy old class and tradition with total, absolute license and depravity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 04:52 PM

Takeout-on-Fishanchips, Brewshire, Brassex, eckshually...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 04:41 PM

Wherever he went, they need to revise and update the curriculum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 04:32 PM

Naw, he went to Takeout.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 03:53 PM

I think he went to Eatin or Harlot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 03:44 PM

The Old School, then, I would have to guess, subscribes to the categorical imperative that ideals must be based on force. ANd I thought PLato was old!! His school is 20th century compared to the neanderthal version.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 02:35 PM

Teribus is, obviously, Old School.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Jul 08 - 01:26 PM

I'm not "T-buddy", Teribus is "T-buddy". Now there is a serious case of having some burning issues.


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