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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 13 Mar 08 - 12:03 PM
Rapparee 13 Mar 08 - 11:17 AM
Amos 13 Mar 08 - 09:58 AM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 10:29 PM
Rapparee 12 Mar 08 - 09:14 PM
Little Hawk 12 Mar 08 - 05:35 PM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 05:23 PM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 03:55 PM
Rapparee 12 Mar 08 - 03:40 PM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 03:33 PM
Rapparee 12 Mar 08 - 03:23 PM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 03:15 PM
Little Hawk 12 Mar 08 - 03:00 PM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 02:41 PM
Acme 12 Mar 08 - 02:38 PM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 02:22 PM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 02:18 PM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 02:07 PM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 01:52 PM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 01:46 PM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 12:06 PM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 12:04 PM
Rapparee 12 Mar 08 - 12:02 PM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 11:58 AM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 11:48 AM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 11:48 AM
Rapparee 12 Mar 08 - 11:47 AM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 11:46 AM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 11:32 AM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 11:31 AM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 10:52 AM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 10:51 AM
Acme 12 Mar 08 - 10:47 AM
MMario 12 Mar 08 - 10:43 AM
Acme 12 Mar 08 - 10:34 AM
Rapparee 12 Mar 08 - 09:10 AM
Acme 12 Mar 08 - 12:42 AM
Amos 12 Mar 08 - 12:08 AM
Little Hawk 11 Mar 08 - 11:46 PM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 10:12 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 08 - 09:08 PM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 08:19 PM
Acme 11 Mar 08 - 05:36 PM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 08 - 04:40 PM
Little Hawk 11 Mar 08 - 04:14 PM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 03:51 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 08 - 12:51 PM
Little Hawk 11 Mar 08 - 12:45 PM
Amos 11 Mar 08 - 09:32 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 12:03 PM

McKean also remarked that it was a trip to the Pocatello Library that brought the influx of turkeys to his attention. "It's amazing what you learn by going tot he library sometimes," he told a reporter. "It isn't just about books."



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 11:17 AM

City ranks No. 5 for fishing, hunting
BY JOHN O'CONNELL
joconnell@journalnet. com


    PO CATE LLO — To local outdoorsman the news is likely as welcome as finding a stranger casting in a favorite fishing hole . The
community's public officials , on the other hand , must be feeling like they've landed the big one .
    Either way, the Gate City has been discovered as one of the
nation' s best communitie s for outdoorsmen.
    Outdoor Life magazine's March 20 edition will rank Pocatello as the fifth best place in the U.S. for hunters and anglers to live. Mountain Home, Ark., Lewiston, Idaho, Sheridan, Wyo., and Cody, Wyo., finished in the top four.
    According to the magazine, Pocatello made the list largely for its "legendary trout fishing, high-country elk and trophy mule deer."
    Outdoor Life has a circulation of about 1 million.
    "I'm a westerner, and I see that attention is always a double-edged sword," said Andrew McKean, hunting editor of Outdoor Life. "You've got the folks who are there who don't want anybody to see the great merits of those places, and then you've got people who are looking for places to live."
    McKean said other factors were also considered in the rankings including: proximity to public lands, culture, crime rate, quality of education, commute times and affordability of housing.
    McKean, who has traveled through Pocatello many times, said the Gate City scored major points for its proximity to public land.
    "You must know how rare that is. That is an intangible that a lot of people don't have in this country," McKean said.
    He said Pocatello also received high marks for its diversity of game species and fish — nine huntable species and seven fishable species can be found in Southeast Idaho.
    "From a hunting perspective, you've got elk, mule deer, unbelievable waterfowl, good upland birds, and you're getting more turkeys all the time," McKean said.
    Pocatello also has some of the most affordable housing he's seen among towns with such great opportunities for outdoorsmen.
    "The median home price was remarkable to me because it still is an affordable western mountain town," McKean said.
    McKean docked Pocatello for its crime rate, which he said was high relative to the other 199 communities that made the list. As a benchmark for crime, he compared the number of car thefts per year based on a 100,000 population.
    Large cities, with the exception of Sacramento, Calif., didn't score well on his list based on high crime rates and long commute times.
    "We looked at towns over a 4,000 population. Our main focal point was towns 6,000 and above," said McKean, whose own home town, Glasgow, Mont., is too small to make the list.
    For all of the outdoor wonders readily available to Pocatello residents, McKean quickly noticed the community doesn't seem to have the positive image to match.
    Indeed, three responses were posted to McKean's article on his magazine's Web site, and two were about Pocatello. Both were negative.
    "Yup, keep driving south right to UTAH. We got plenty of people showing up to hunt. Kinda spoiling it. Pocatello is the Armpit of Idaho," one posting read.
    Another person wrote: "Soda Springs, Idaho. If you stay in Pocatello, you will drive to Soda to hunt and fish."
    But McKean isn't interested in "glitz and glamour," and the last thing he wants on his list is a city that employs a large public relations staff but can't live up to the hype. He believes readers would prefer to find quiet, lesserknown places.
    "There are a lot of towns that have really inflated views of their own quality of life. One of the things that I like that went into the basket of 200 were towns that were really authentic," McKean said. "These are places that may not have grandiose views of themselves, or their neighbors may not think they're remarkable places to live. Even places that may not think they're heaven on earth do really well. The towns that are quiet destinations are real, authentic places, and they're the places our readers like, as well."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 09:58 AM

That would be a harrowing experience,indeed, for any young blade brazen enough to test his steel on't. 'T is an easy thing, withal, to ignore a clod, to dismiss a clod, to cut through a clod; but when you work in fields where nothing else may be seen, but clods without end in every direction, and nothing but an ass to work them with, it can be a dismal prospect, sir, dismal.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:29 PM

You should get the Prettiest Harrowing Blade in all of Idaho fer Yore Farm!! Call Rapaire Today!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 09:14 PM

Raving? Moi? It was the medicines.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 05:35 PM

Alas! Rapaire is raving again. He has totally lost all perspective. The people who do those "tractor" enlargement ads should get him to write some new slogans for them before the effect wears off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 05:23 PM

And that was

22580

, so there.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 03:55 PM

Right.

In your dreams, Cowboy Bob...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 03:40 PM

I had no anesthesia. I didn't need no steenkin' anesthesia. I fell asleep and slept had about an hour's nap while women swooned and men turned green with envy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 03:33 PM

I know Rapaire thinks there was no anaesthesia, but it strikes me the Vicodin was running thick in his veins, this morning.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 03:23 PM

I have returned. I have now had it certified that I have the purtiest left kneebones in Idaho.

There was a slight problem in that I am so red-blooded All-American that all my blood was drawn over to my left leg. They got that fixed right quick though, but another problem arose (if you'll pardon the expression). The magnetic head used for the MRI imaging was of necessity positioned in such a way that the blood was then drawn to my, well, another part of my anatomy. Women would stop by, see it, and swoon with anticipated pleasure and men would faint away with jealousy. It's a good thing Pat came to meet me for lunch or I would have been held captive by a horde of women, all demanding a share of.... Well, anyway, Pat met me for lunch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 03:15 PM

don't blow a gasket head-case! What a crank! Why don't you muffle it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 03:00 PM

You need to work on a better transmission of your ideas. I want to clutch you by the throat when I hear some of the foolish things you say. When are you going to put on the brakes and come to a full stop?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 02:41 PM

Do you tyre of this discourse? NO fan of the conversation?
Need to valve off a little hot exhaust from your sytem?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 02:38 PM

That was below the [steel] belt. So to speak.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 02:22 PM

Or fewer of them?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 02:18 PM

maybe you need new shocks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 02:07 PM

Thanks for cutting to the, um, chase, there, buddy. The suspension was killing me.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 01:52 PM

That's right...

it continues with....

knock knock
who's there?
Stella
Stella Who?
Stella 'nother Ether Bunny

knock knock
Who's there?
Yenta
Yenta who?
Yenta 'nother Ether bunny

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Karl
Karl who?

Car'll run over ALL the Ether Bunnies!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?

Don' cry! There'll be more Ether Bunnies NEXT year!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 01:46 PM

Anna nutherbunny?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:06 PM

Anna

(don't shout; Mom's taking a nap)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:04 PM

I wasn't referring to Mona's.

WHO THERE!!!!! Gawdammit, I hate this shit.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:02 PM

It's not mine, it's Mona's. And it doesn't look all soft and spotted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:58 AM

Whoothair?


And Rapaire, you may keep your spotted old soft banana.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:48 AM

Ether Bunnie!


Knock, Knock!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:48 AM

Why is Mona holding your Banana?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:47 AM

Lordy, Mom! I'm only gonna go get an MRI; they're actin' like I'm already daid and burried. I guess Amos really IS in a hurry to inherit my collection of great art reproductions. I'll bet he's just jealous of my Mona Lisa On Black Velvet, that's what. Especially since she's holding a banana. He doesn't have one and he wants mine.

Besides, it ain't for another 45 minutes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:46 AM

Ether WHoooo?


A

(I hope he isn't about to be Soren on me...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:32 AM

Ether


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:31 AM

Hooth Thair?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:52 AM

knock, Knock!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:51 AM

He'th vithiting the Ether Bunny today. Ether that or a sturgeon.

We hold our brother Rapaire in our thoughts today, and send him the wish that he will rapidly be fully restored unto us with his clever fingers in good order and his lower joints operating smoothly.

All of them.

Toes, too.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:47 AM

It's his knee thing today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:43 AM

It's a bit early to be etherized, it isn't even Palm Sunday yet!

But if Rap's in a sugar coma, I'm willing to bet most of the Legion is passed out from one or another substance


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:34 AM

Can we expect a quiet day, as our pal Rapaire lies etherised upon a table? Will the troops at the Legion remain quiet in their muttering retreats?

Come back soon and disturb the universe!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 09:10 AM

Someone has to mislead the young...and Amos. I thought it rather good, especially the part about the flower.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:42 AM

It would serve you right if Diana picked up that oak branch and gave Chongo and LH a swat with it.

Take it easy tomorrow, Mike!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 12:08 AM

He only does that when he wants to start a Golden Shower, LH...according to his confessions memoirs.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 11:46 PM

Do like Chongo does instead. Swing from the Golden Bough!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 10:12 PM

Wow...that is very impressive. Would I could have such a tale for every typo my fat thumbs produce, I'd have The Golden Bough collected.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 09:08 PM

A "buance" is a ghost that inhabits the uplands of certain islands near Sumatra. It is said to be the spirit of a young girl or woman who died before she had ever eaten cassava and so spends eternity searching for cassava seeds. According to the locals, if you are confronted by a buance you simply have to point in some direction and the buance will go off that way on its eternal cassava search. The buance is not vindictive or nasty, just sort of lost. You can protect yourself against a buance by wearing a "titan arum" flower on your clothing or in your hair.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 08:19 PM

I think I must have mis-typed -- the b should have been an "n", spelling "nuances". In context this makes much more sense. After all, I am pretty sure there is no such word as "buances", or its putative singular, "buance". At least, as far as I know...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 05:36 PM

Amos said I would never get the buances.

You would if the whoopie cushions are under the mattresses. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 05:34 PM

Makes them kind of awkward to reinflate, doesn't it?

SUch a thoughtful host...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 04:40 PM

Actually, I put them under the mattresses in the guest bedrooms....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 04:14 PM

Shane would enjoy the whoopee cushions, Rapaire. So would Don.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 03:51 PM

No, leave them to the Church. I would never get the buances.

I think you guys have me badly confused with Sinsull. This kind of crap is her metier.

Anyway, this clearly demonstrates why Rapaire can be readily and easily filled-in-for when he goes under.

My regards to 'Streyelia, Rap.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 12:51 PM

I am also leaving him my complete collection of singing fake fish. They're all motion activated so he should get months and months of enjoyment from Big Mouth Billy Bass and all of his kinfolks.

Do you think his sophisticated enough for my collection of whoopee cushions? Or should I leave those to the Church?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 12:45 PM

You're on the right track, Rapaire. I too have some rare and valuable stuff I am going to leave Amos. Namely, the lamp that looks like a lady's leg in fishnet stockings and the Singing, Dancing Santa Claus that sings "Jingle Bell Rock" and is automatically triggered to start doing so whenever anyone walks within 6 feet of it. Those are items I would not dream of leaving to anyone else but Amos. I know that he fully appreciates such things and will give them a place of pride in his mansion. Then too, there are 8500 back issues of Popular Mechanics here that need a good home....and a complete collection of (one each of) all the reptilian beanie babies ever issued.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 08 - 09:32 AM

Oh, what a tangled web we weave, Dr Stick E. Fingerz!!

I was thinking more of the literary collection, but hell, no reason to not include the matched Keanes and the Black Velvet series.

However, it is very, very rare to succumb during knee surgery. You would not want to go into a joint with that kind of reputation.


A


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