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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 01 Aug 15 - 09:25 PM
gnu 01 Aug 15 - 09:15 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Aug 15 - 09:00 PM
gnu 01 Aug 15 - 05:10 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 15 - 04:33 PM
Amos 01 Aug 15 - 12:52 PM
Amos 01 Aug 15 - 12:42 PM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 01 Aug 15 - 12:34 PM
Amos 01 Aug 15 - 12:20 PM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 01 Aug 15 - 12:03 PM
gnu 01 Aug 15 - 11:08 AM
GUEST, ^*^ 01 Aug 15 - 10:43 AM
gnu 31 Jul 15 - 07:52 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 15 - 06:32 PM
Ebbie 31 Jul 15 - 03:34 PM
Ebbie 31 Jul 15 - 03:03 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jul 15 - 12:21 PM
Amos 31 Jul 15 - 10:24 AM
Rapparee 31 Jul 15 - 09:20 AM
Rapparee 30 Jul 15 - 10:03 PM
gnu 30 Jul 15 - 03:48 PM
Amos 30 Jul 15 - 03:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jul 15 - 01:44 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 15 - 09:24 AM
Rapparee 29 Jul 15 - 09:53 PM
Amos 29 Jul 15 - 11:02 AM
Rapparee 29 Jul 15 - 09:59 AM
Rapparee 28 Jul 15 - 10:39 PM
gnu 28 Jul 15 - 10:11 PM
gnu 28 Jul 15 - 10:59 AM
Rapparee 28 Jul 15 - 09:55 AM
Amos 28 Jul 15 - 02:13 AM
GUEST, ^*^ 27 Jul 15 - 11:35 PM
gnu 27 Jul 15 - 08:39 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 15 - 04:52 PM
gnu 27 Jul 15 - 03:57 PM
Amos 27 Jul 15 - 10:33 AM
Rapparee 27 Jul 15 - 09:50 AM
Amos 27 Jul 15 - 01:26 AM
Acme 27 Jul 15 - 12:45 AM
Rapparee 26 Jul 15 - 11:59 PM
gnu 26 Jul 15 - 10:53 PM
Amos 26 Jul 15 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 15 - 09:01 PM
Amos 26 Jul 15 - 10:38 AM
Rapparee 25 Jul 15 - 10:24 PM
Amos 25 Jul 15 - 09:45 PM
Ebbie 25 Jul 15 - 09:40 PM
gnu 25 Jul 15 - 08:39 PM
gnu 25 Jul 15 - 04:50 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 15 - 09:25 PM

Wahl, it warn't me. Ah done got rid of mah lawn mower las year an now I jist let somebody else do it. Worth it, cuz Ah kin git in more fishin', iffen I wasn't traveling. Ah heads off fer France an Germany come this comin' Tuesday. Yup, ah'm invadin'. Gonna take a peak at that there AL-says country and some of Bavaria too. Might even git ta visit with Alanabit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 15 - 09:15 PM

Secret to a marriage... yard work and alcohol. Wish I could find the bit on You Tube cause it's funny. Guy with a southern accent. Wish I could remember his name.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Aug 15 - 09:00 PM

George is married? Mystery solved. Lawn mowing is a way to get out of the house without pissing off the old ball and chain. Go fishing, golfing, or sliding dollar bills under naked women's garter belts, and there's a good chance there'll be hell to pay when ya get home. But ride around on a lawn tractor for an hour and she can't say a word about it 'cause you wuz working. Even if you just mowed the grass yesterday and all you're really doing is driving around aimlessly and drinking beer, it's still work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 15 - 05:10 PM

George is mowing his lawn as I type. I shit you not. 29C, 32H and he's mowing again. Heat exhaustion? Dementia? Old Cranky Timers? Fighting with the wife? Maybe the length of my back lawn is pissing him off and he wants to give me a hint? BTW, my back lawn is fine... just not a uniform piece of chemically sprayed garbage. It's not a fuckin golf green. I LIKE clover and such.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 15 - 04:33 PM

Yup. 3-7-77.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 15 - 12:52 PM

Here in 'Murka, we have our own ways of dealing with such issues.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 15 - 12:42 PM

I don't think being stuck up is a medical issue, dear. The surgery I recommended was to remove the broomstick you seem to have left lodged up your bottom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 01 Aug 15 - 12:34 PM

I've never been afraid to take risks, Amos, but I should think the risk would be far greater where you live, since you have a national health care system that barely rivals that of the early medieval period in Europe. It is my understanding that you have fled to Mexico on occasion to avoid the ridiculously high cost of medical care in the USA.

*PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 15 - 12:20 PM

Penelope, with all due respect to your Pluperfect Blood Line and your Impeccable Breeding, you are running the serious risk of showing yourself as a patronizing, condescending snob, which really violates your traditional principles of noblesse oblige, donchaknow. I think some surgical proctology is in order.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 01 Aug 15 - 12:03 PM

You've been quite entertaining lately, gentlemen. Most amusing.

*PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 15 - 11:08 AM

George. You know George... the cranky old git next door.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 01 Aug 15 - 10:43 AM

Excuse me, that previous post was about Randolf Jefferson "Soapy" Smith. I should have made that clearer.

Any relation to Snuffy, of the last century's funny pages fame?

Who mows their lawn five days in a row?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 15 - 07:52 PM

Bubba? Bubba's a dickwad.

Whilst driving home from the gas station with a full 20l gas can in front of the passenger seat of the car (sold my truck), I pondered what it must be like driving on smooth roads under sunny smoggy skies in Calleeforneeah rather than on the frost heaved pothole patched roads of nb.ca. It must be magical.

31C and HUMID here today. It's the fuckin blue moon I tell ya! I'd go outside and look at it later but it's too hot for me. Glad I don't live in Iran... ~163F heat index??? 163!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 15 - 06:32 PM

Well, yes, Ebbie. Discretion is the better part and all that.

Amos old top, I had a wonderful education in Things Explosive, Stinky, and Incendiary (TESI) beginning in late grade school when my brothers and I discovered a British publication, "The Home Guard Manual," at the public library. From there we went on to bigger and better things, culminating in courses such as "Boobytraps" and "Improvised Explosives" and "Explosives and Demolitions" courtesy of the US military. We also made our own fuel for "model" rockets, way back when. What would you like to know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 31 Jul 15 - 03:34 PM

Rap?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 31 Jul 15 - 03:03 PM

"discretely", Rap?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jul 15 - 12:21 PM

Leave George alone! He's obviously a practitioner of mowing meditation, a mindfulness discipline founded by Guru Bubba Shindawa. It's like walking meditation but the noise of the lawnmower drowns out distracting sounds and engine vibrations transmitted through the handle cause one's fingers to tingle with connectedness to the universe. Guru Bubba Shindawa spreads his teachings through the numerous lawn care product dealerships he and his brother-in-law Swami Jim-Bob Husqvarna, founder of the chainsaw meditation discipline, own throughout the US and Canada.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 15 - 10:24 AM

I get the idea, somehow, that yon Rapp was a Molotov Mixologist in a past life...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 15 - 09:20 AM

Or surreptitiously spray a nifty message into his front law with Roundup. Something like "Go Back To Bed!" or "Shut UP!!". You could think up your own even.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 15 - 10:03 PM

Sneak over and dig a small hole in his lawn. Make the hole about a foot deep. In it place sharpened stakes of fire-hardened wood. Camouflage the top. Don't leave fingerprints or footprints and discretely splashing a little gasoline around will help prevent a police dog from following your scent.

Better yet, if you can get to his lawnmower you could use superglue or epoxy in some strategic places -- the gas line is good, as is the carburetor or the control cables. Best of all is using that stuff in the ignition lock of a riding mower...or motorcycle, or....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Jul 15 - 03:48 PM

It's official. George mowed his lawn again this AM. Five days in a row. It won't be long, I expect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 15 - 03:02 PM

"Soapy's power grew to the point that he admitted to the press that he was a con man and saw nothing wrong with it. In 1896, he told a newspaper reporter, "I consider bunco steering more honorable than the life led by the average politician."

My kinda guy...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jul 15 - 01:44 PM

That bullshit detector is defective. It does a pretty good job of detecting surreptitious, insincere, college sophomore trying to sound like he knows what he's talking about in a research paper bullshit, but it doesn't detect true and blatant MOABic bullshit. I have subjected several of my own posts to its analysis and received BS scores of zero or very near zero even though there was not a word of genuine true fact in any of them. As long as you don't use words like "paradigm" or phrases like "complex intermodal relationships" you can pile on bullshit by the bucketful and it won't even notice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 15 - 09:24 AM

Excuse me, that previous post was about Randolf Jefferson "Soapy" Smith. I should have made that clearer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 15 - 09:53 PM

Amos, your acceptance of my apologies is humbly accepted. I shall continue to try to enhance my self-abasement so that I can someday be no longer worthy of self-abasing behavior.

A little known fact:

On Friday, August 30, 1889, Jeff's train made a scheduled stop at the Pocatello depot. During the wait, a man in railroad switchman clothes came up to the window of the railroad car where Jeff sat and fired at him five times, point blank. All but one bullet missed injuring him. It came so close that it mutilated half Jeff's mustache as it whizzed by. Jeff drew pistol and returned three shots, all striking their targets, two in one fleeing assailant and one in another. Next, railroad personnel "tried to mob" him, as Jeff put it, but "we stood them off," and Jeff and his party, with the aid of "a few good citizens," left Pocatello on a hasty, twenty-five-mile horseback ride north to Blackfoot (at that time the county seat).

With him was famed Earp gunman, "Texas Jack" Vermillion. Also with Soapy were Soap Gang members "Fatty Gray, " G. E. "Auctioneer" Roberts, J. W. Allen, and Soapy's younger, hot headed brother, Bascomb.

It's not the OK Corral, but it will do. Smith was acquitted on September 1,1889 and went on to be shot to death on a wharf in Skagway in 1898.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 15 - 11:02 AM

Your gracious humility comes as a grand and welcome surprise, sir. I accept your apologies whole-heartedly and return them in kind, regretting my past incivilities toward your august person.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 15 - 09:59 AM

Mora dhuit! Conas atha dhui? Té mé go maith, mé.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 15 - 10:39 PM

Now I lay me down to sleep
With fork and saucer at my feet,
If I should die before I wake
Bury me with the chocolate cake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jul 15 - 10:11 PM

And now I lay me down to sleep
With a bag of peanuts at my feet
If I should die before I wake
Give them to my brother Jake.

gnightgnuit


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jul 15 - 10:59 AM

Did you know?

It takes six City of Moncton employees and six waste collection vehicles to collect the solid waste for the entire city, which equals more than 17,000 metric tons each year. This is an average of 65 metric tons per collection night, and 10 metric tons—the equivalent of two elephants— per collection employee!

African, Bornean or Indian? Share when you know the answer... no spoilers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 15 - 09:55 AM

You are correct, Amos, and I accept your criticism wholeheartedly. For even though my old friend Sam Clemens wrote

Who write the dramatic critiques for the second-rate papers? Why, a parcel of promoted shoemakers and apprentice apothecaries, who know just as much about good acting as I do about good farming and no more. Who review the books? People who never wrote one. Who do up the heavy leaders on finance? Parties who have had the largest opportunities for knowing nothing about it. Who criticise the Indian campaigns? Gentlemen who do not know a war-whoop from a wigwam, and who never have had to run a foot race with a tomahawk, or pluck arrows out of the several members of their families to build the evening camp-fire with. Who write the temperance appeals, and clamor about the flowing bowl? Folks who will never draw another sober breath till they do it in the grave.

I cannot fault what you said. Sam also wrote "Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place" because "Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand."

But I shall in the future endeavor to live by your wise precepts. Nuanced shall I be, nuances upon nuances shall flounder about in my writings. For though I admit to being the scion of a long tradition in American writing I shall eschew ad Califoriem remarks and limit myself to (probably vain) attempts to copy such wit as that of Pope, Swift, and Dryden.

Please forgive me for my past peccadilloes. I shall make whatever penance seems appropriate, tho' it be sackcloth and hot ashes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 15 - 02:13 AM

Rapp:

If you have an ambition to be humorous, keep plugging. It is not accomplished by taking what someone said and just pretending they said the opposite--that's just, well, juvenile. You need to outgrow jejune contrarianism and discover the subtlety of genuine nuance if you ever expect to be, someday, genuinely funny.

A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, ^*^
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 11:35 PM

Shhhhh! There are some animal lovers, even wild animal rescuers in the mudcat family. They don't want to hear about your thinning the herd and green bags.

I have concluded the activities of my long weekend and though it might sound like I'm proud to have cleaned the kitchen and taken out the trash, what I have really done is dog-proofed the house for the rest of my work week. Labrador retriever-proofed the house. This dog has no shame, is a counter-surfer extraordinaire. I won't enumerate all of the odd things as well as tasty things he has snatched and eaten, take my word for it that it is his nature to do so. It's so hot right now that I've rigged a dog door into the house so they don't have to move from shady spot to shady spot with frequent dips in their stock tank to stay cool. (No way I'm leaving this pack in the house all day long without a way out into the yard as needed. They're outside dogs, not record-holders in the bladder and bowel competition.) As soon as I put in that dog door they became instant couch potatoes. Except when they're out in the back yard barking at the black vulture that has been hanging out on the next door ham radio antenna.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 08:39 PM

Hot ashes? Have I got a job for you! Salary, benefits and all you can eat! Acourse, ya might have ta fight off the odd seagull or crow or stray cat fer yer snacks. Now, I know coons can be nasty critters but we don't got no coons in our garbage... and we won't because if them bandits get in my garbage, the City will take care of them or *I* will. And I don't relocate further than a green bag at roadside on garbage day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 04:52 PM

Don't put in hot ashes. Simple.

Amos, we keep the windows open to allow fresh mountain air to permeate our house. I can understand why in your polluted, smog-smothered, Southern California environment you do not. But please, we wouldn't want to lose you so if you start coughing up blood and fragments of lung tissue (common in your area, I understand) please see a doctor right away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 03:57 PM

Soooo... I went out to meet the garbage truck driver. I told him I had a large bag of wood stove ashes and wondered how it should be bagged/disposed. He told me they can't take wood stove ashes because they could start a fire in the truck. I said, "Thanks, bud." and gave him a thumbs up. I shall put small amounts in the green bags (wet) over the next several weeks. No sense trying to explain to someone that ashes cannot burn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 10:33 AM

I'm not sure I understand this whole thing about having the windows open. Why is that unusual? Mine are open by default, except in the office where the balmy breezes tend to disrupt the stacks of papers. Every month of the year. What's the BFD? How about your toilet lids. Are they normally open? Normally closed?
Oh, and your kitchen cabinets? Chimney flus? SIlverware drawers? Working peanut butter jars?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 09:50 AM

What!!!??? You don't have a 3-D food printer? It's basic to every modern household! Are you living in a cave or what? If it's the cost, I'll give you the twenty bucks or so you need to get a real top-of-line one.

Last night I slept with the windows open and the ceiling fan on -- it got down to 58F (14.44C) and it was great, all snuggled up in blankets. I think I'll do it until I leave for France and Germany on the 3rd.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 01:26 AM

Acme, you can't download pizza! Just get used to it...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jul 15 - 12:45 AM

I've ad me windaws open fer tree days b'y!

Geez. I thought at first you meant you hadn't turned your computer off for three days. I need to get out more


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 15 - 11:59 PM

Did yer granny know old man Wittgenstein?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jul 15 - 10:53 PM

I had eggs over easy on cracked wheat toast for supper at 6PM. It's 23:45 and my farts already smell like eggs. I know this is not erudite or literary but it is the human condition and we share that fate... that fart. It's the fart that binds. Gramma was a Pascal... maybe I got my digestion from her?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 15 - 10:34 PM

I am scarcely surprised the ability to discern truth depends on not being confined in one's being by cumulative falsity.

AHJ


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 15 - 09:01 PM

"[Fania] Pascal's Wittgenstein intends to accuse her of not of lying but of misrepresentation of another sort. She characterizes her feeling as the feeling of a run over dog. She is not really acquainted, however, with the feeling to which this phrase refers. Of course, the p0hrase is far from being complete nonsense to here; she is hardly speaking gibberish. What she says has an intelligible connotation, which she certainly understands. Moreover, she does know something about the quality of the feeling to which the phrase refers: she knows at least that it is an undesirable and unenjoyable feeling. The trouble with her statement is that it purports to convey something more than simply that she feels bad. Her characterization of her feeling is too specific; it is excessively particular. Hers is not just any bad feeling but, according to her account, the distinctive kind of bad feeling that a dog has when it is run over. To the Wittgenstein in Pascal's story, judging from his response, this is just bullshit."
            --Harry G. Frankfort, On Bullshit (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2005), pp. 28-29.

Based upon this passage by Frankfort I hardly think it plausible to assume that the last post by Amos enjoys any plausibility or veracity whatsoever.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 15 - 10:38 AM

I dropped a couple of Rapparree's posts into that thing and the needle didn't even quiver. This demonstrates to a certainty that his BS is surreptitious, covert, BS of the stealth variety, the kind that inserts itself into your mental landscape so underhandedly that you don't notice it corroding your thought patterns and undermining your ratiocinative processes. Polished, seemingly normal prose with a quiet, deadly, secret payload.

I think our Mom prefers the explicit, open-hearted sort.

So there ya go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 15 - 10:24 PM

One here. I checked out a couple of Amos' posts and they blew up the meter at the far end.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 15 - 09:45 PM

The bullshit detector in not retroactive, my dear. If it does not appear you may have to apply a home made variant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Jul 15 - 09:40 PM

Beedubyaell, I am wounded. I did not receive the 'official MOAB membership packet'. Please send it forthwisht.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 15 - 08:39 PM

I've ad me windaws open fer tree days b'y! Never ad da AC on once an she's July 25! Some shockin good me zon, me zon! Down ta yer 12C tanoight! Buddy... she don't get no better'n dis eh wha? I jus fear sumpin's gotta give come yer moon phase eh wha? I mean, wit all da heat out west an yer L Neenyo what dey say is gonna fry da fuck outta tings even worse, be da lard tunderin Jaysus, we might be in fer a big shit down in the Merrytimes too eh wha? So, I am enjoyin every single minute of dis grand wedder while she's ona go. When I can sleep with da windaws open an have ta use a BLANKET in July? Why, dat's heaven buddy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 15 - 04:50 PM

"An official MOAB bullshit detector..."? I'm fucked.


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