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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bunnahabhain 15 Jan 07 - 08:53 PM
Rapparee 15 Jan 07 - 07:42 PM
Amos 15 Jan 07 - 07:33 PM
Rapparee 15 Jan 07 - 05:50 PM
Acme 15 Jan 07 - 05:20 PM
Amos 15 Jan 07 - 05:13 PM
Bunnahabhain 15 Jan 07 - 03:08 PM
Amos 15 Jan 07 - 01:04 PM
Acme 15 Jan 07 - 12:56 PM
Amos 15 Jan 07 - 10:08 AM
Rapparee 15 Jan 07 - 09:50 AM
Bunnahabhain 15 Jan 07 - 07:49 AM
Acme 14 Jan 07 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 14 Jan 07 - 02:40 PM
Amos 14 Jan 07 - 02:16 PM
Rapparee 14 Jan 07 - 02:10 PM
Amos 14 Jan 07 - 01:58 PM
Amos 14 Jan 07 - 01:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Jan 07 - 01:06 PM
Bunnahabhain 14 Jan 07 - 12:05 PM
Amos 14 Jan 07 - 12:00 PM
GUEST,freds new order 14 Jan 07 - 11:46 AM
Acme 13 Jan 07 - 10:20 PM
Rapparee 13 Jan 07 - 09:56 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Jan 07 - 08:40 PM
Amos 13 Jan 07 - 08:35 PM
Acme 13 Jan 07 - 07:44 PM
Rapparee 13 Jan 07 - 06:16 PM
Amos 13 Jan 07 - 06:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Jan 07 - 06:12 PM
Amos 13 Jan 07 - 06:11 PM
Rapparee 13 Jan 07 - 06:03 PM
Amos 13 Jan 07 - 05:56 PM
Amos 13 Jan 07 - 04:11 PM
Acme 13 Jan 07 - 03:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Jan 07 - 03:07 PM
Rapparee 13 Jan 07 - 03:07 PM
Amos 13 Jan 07 - 02:01 PM
Amos 13 Jan 07 - 12:24 PM
Rapparee 13 Jan 07 - 10:04 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Jan 07 - 09:59 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Jan 07 - 09:49 AM
Acme 13 Jan 07 - 01:33 AM
Amos 13 Jan 07 - 12:17 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Jan 07 - 10:40 PM
Little Hawk 12 Jan 07 - 09:21 PM
Rapparee 12 Jan 07 - 09:16 PM
Bunnahabhain 12 Jan 07 - 08:07 PM
Little Hawk 12 Jan 07 - 07:34 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Jan 07 - 07:29 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 08:53 PM

I didn't see any pictures. Of course, I may have mistakenly had my eyes open, which would explain it.

Now, how do you change the language on this spell checker out of whatever funny dialect it appears to be in, Minnisotan I think, and to something useful. Glasgae woulnae be tae bad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 07:42 PM

All of the pictures look just like Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 07:33 PM

An Hilarious Recitation is now made available of the sorry tale of Paddy's Request for Sick Leave, among other amusing anecdotes, and bon mots, in the round, pear-like tones of Gerald Hoffnung addressing the Oxford Union, producing great quantities of merriment.

It is to be found by merely clicking upon this humble but effective link and listening unto the destination thereof.

Regards,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 05:50 PM

My diginity, represented by my white head, precludes me from continuing to pla, to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 05:20 PM

I know what's going on here--you're all playing Heidegger and Goethe seek with your philosophy anthologies.
One More round, you ask?

Okay.

On your Marx, Genet, Foucault!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 05:13 PM

He's right--if we keep on hollerin ' about philosophy like this they'll think we're putting des Cartes before the hoarse.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 03:08 PM

Kan't we (In)hume this whole subject before we totally Des(e)crate it all. We just Can'tor or we'll run out in half of no time....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 01:04 PM

Well, you're still Jung. There's nothing to be a Freud of. Ionesco Oller who says the idea is absurd.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 12:56 PM

I'm a Freud not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 10:08 AM

We'll see when it's Albert.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 09:50 AM

Look, we gotta Sartre this out! I'm trying and I think I can do it -- Camus?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Jan 07 - 07:49 AM

I can trump that. Apparentley, I think not, full stop.

Or so she says....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 10:38 PM

Baudrillard and Genet? I think not!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 02:40 PM

How does this then differ from Nihilism, Dada, and Post-modern deconstructionism? It sounds like an offshoot of Exhibitionistic Existentialism.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 02:16 PM

Perhaps -- but so is Motyher!!

Here is an excerpt from a review of one of the seminal books on 'Pataphysics:

"This reality-rejecting text delivers an airy irrational punch of nonsensical negation by tying together methods of insouciant informality with a visceral camp irony: at turns hip and flamboyant, then turning towards the morally outrageous. At times the text simulates the disappearing ephemeral we associate with electronically provided information today on the internet, and the flickering of its translucent form. Still the reader is expected to work devotedly to solve the absurd flatulent conundrums supplied here, to supply mental transitions between the diverse and massive assortment of irrational elements which supply the text its pataphysical hooks. One must fabricate a complicated forensic fairy-tale out of this flatulent mélange, which keeps slipping in and out of idiosyncratic narration. And that recitation keeps turning back into one about stinking death, that strange, incurable and deeply irrational affliction. Baudrillard in fact defines here the rules of the pataphysical game as "narcissism of death, a lethal eccentricity". (p. 8) Yes, I read this text as a meditation on humiliating death in all its undifferentiated fabulousness, by which I mean its essentially nasty comedy. So this is a young man's text about funny, difficult death then, which while pulling down our pants and revealing our soiled undies, keeps everyone laughing (or at least gurgling) till the bitter end.

According to Baudrillard, in Pataphysics "all things become artificial, poisonous, resulting in a schizophrenia induced by pink stucco angels…". (p. 11) But also there is here an awareness of impertinent splendor in the tranquility of flatulent decomposition, which makes it all seem faintly heroic in face of death's inexorability. Thus this irrational text implies an antiphilosopher's knowledge of dumb death's putrid ignobility - but Baudrillard will not give in to that parody either. And this is what gives the work its extraordinary sense of dignity, a dignity which asserts life's primacy over death because death is beyond narration and words.

So this text's irrational gaseous hypothesis is actually fine absurdist Ubu art. (*5) But an Ubu art which does not merely help us pass the time away; it enlivens time if we surrender to its fearful pataphysical difficulty. A vertigo intricacy of which Baudrillard says is "anaemic" (p. 11) and "impossible" (p. 10) as its "procedure is a vicious circle within". (p. 11)"




Kinda says it all, doesn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 02:10 PM

It sounds like a lot of work, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 01:58 PM

I always knew we were not truly alone. In the world, there are kindred groups up with whom we have never had to put, and with whom never met.

Thus the 'Pataphysicists of France and of London, brothers in the soul to all MOABites.

As a purely professional amateur 'pataphysicist, I recommend the pursuit of their studies to all who tread these hallowed cyberhalls.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 01:39 PM

BeeDub has a point. We should teach the Freds the kinder and gentler methods of killing humans -- the Execution by Boredom technique, the Passive Aggressive Reasoning Labyrinth routine, the Chinese Water Torture By WalMart Mental Stimuli, and the Kindness of a Thousand Cuts as practiced by the Stepford Wives and the D.A.R.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 01:06 PM

Dear freds,

Perhaps your finding human-based protein to be of inferior status is more a matter of the manner in which you seek to procure said protein than in the actual nature of the protein itself. It is very inadvisable to attempt to procure human protein by sneaking up behind the human, shouting "Boo!", and chomping down on the human. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred that will leave you with nothing but a mouthful of the human's own pre-digested last meal and, perhaps, a pair of tennis shoes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 12:05 PM

A few years ago, my senior School was asked to come up with a mission statement. A smart person pointed out we'd had one for quite a while, ie our Latin motto, a hexameter Juvanal had recast from the Greek. It's on the foundation charter of 1551....

It's unlikey that the bureacracy took any notice of this, but that's not the point!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 12:00 PM

I like that. My ole Dad always said, if youse is REALLY mad at a feller, jes' poison his dawg.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds new order
Date: 14 Jan 07 - 11:46 AM

hello again. we have decided not to use your protein as food for freds. it is too tastelss and partly spoiled and cannot be spiced to our palates. you will be pleased to know this. we plan to use your protein as food for our pets. they will eat anything that is garbage. you should work on improving your protein. thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 10:20 PM

If you saw how messy my home office (and my work office) is, you might rethink that "organized" portion of the statement. :) (Though it actually is a form of archival storage that has largely been misunderstood.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 09:56 PM

The public library strives to provide user-driven services to its diverse community of patrons by the judicious marriage of the most current technology to traditional bibliotecal processes, thereby insuring that the public library will continue to serve the values of the city, the county, the state, the region, and the world as a whole.


How's that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 08:40 PM

Not fair! You guys work in libraries! Everybody knows people who work in libraries are smart, thoughtful, and organized. You don't have to use words like "incentivize" and "proactive" and "catalyst" just to impress people.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 08:35 PM

Well, there ya go! Making my point for me! :D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 07:44 PM

The Library is at the heart of The University. And at the heart of the Library is its services and collections.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 06:16 PM

Goody for them. Here's the Mission AND Vision statements for my library. We don't collaborate no metadata thingies....

Marshall Public Library Mission Statement

In fulfilling its critical role in the community, the Marshall Public Library provides a vibrant lifelong learning center with information resources and programs to support the overall quality of life through an educated population, an informed electorate, and a dynamic economy.

Vision Statement

By merging the best of tradition and technology, the Marshall Public Library aspires to provide:

public library services for all people, beginning in the formative years;
        
a foundation for community and economic development;

a gathering and meeting place for cultural and intergenerational activity, and to meet the need of the community for informational, educational, recreational, and personal growth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 06:13 PM

Hell, BW, if they KNEW what they were talking about they'd be able to say it in English!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 06:12 PM

One of the non-profit foundation underwriters on NPR uses a mission statement type thingy in their blurb. I can't remember the whole spiel but part of it's to "challenge stakeholder awareness" and "maximize" something or the other. Every time I hear it I go, "Huh? What the hell are they talking about?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 06:11 PM

Th'art a suacy rogue sir, and well-deserving of bereavement of thine flapdoodle. Meanwhile, we shall continue to strive to   efficiently disseminate progressive infrastructures while we authoritatively coordinate high-payoff meta-services in order that we may professionally restore diverse infrastructures to set us apart from the competition.

SOME of us, at least, have gotten over the first half of the twentieth century.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 06:03 PM

Anybody that uses that kind of language should be shot, tarred, feathered, branded, drawn, quartered, hung, burned, slapped, pilloried, flogged, caned, scalped, spanked, and then severly punished. And if you do it again I'll tell Mom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 05:56 PM

"We envision to collaboratively disseminate long-term high-impact products such that we may continue to synergistically maintain cutting edge content to set us apart from the competition."

From Dilbert's automatic Mission Statement Generator        .

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 04:11 PM

I think it is because your parents were sensitive to the beauty of natural imperfection, and recognized a certain wabi-sabi aesthetic to red, chapped heels. Perhaps they thought you would enjoy showing the world your heels. :>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 03:12 PM

I know about chilblains because my brother got that "old fashioned" ailment one winter when he was about 12 and delivering a morning paper route in cold and rainy Everett, Washington. This would be in the mid-to-late 1960s. His heels were all red and cracked and sore, so the answer was to let him stay home for a few days to let his feet heal--and make ME deliver his route! Oy. I was 15 months older, and I don't remember any particular precautions being taken to prevent me from getting cold wet feet while I was out there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 03:07 PM

A "kibe"? Oh, boy! Wait 'til the next time someone is foolish enough to play Scrabble with me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 03:07 PM

So if we wrapped up the President's head real warm it might help?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 02:01 PM

For the skae of semantic precision:

"Chilblains, also called Perniosis or blain, is a medical condition similar to frostbite or trench foot. Chilblains are caused by exposure of skin to damp cold. Small blood vessels below the skin are damaged, but there is no freezing of tissue, thus distinguishing it from frostbite.

The condition is also distinguished by numbing of the affected area and the appearance of blisters or open sores. Chilblains do not usually cause permanent injury, but can result in severe damage if left untreated. Some patients have reported a sensitivity to cold in the affected area, long after the condition has healed. They are most common in the young and the elderly, and are more likely to occur in women.

They can be prevented by keeping the feet and hands warm in cold weather. A chilblain can chap, crack, or ulcerate; and then is known as a kibe."

Wikipedia


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 12:24 PM

West? WEST? You call a mere 2038 miles left of DC, West? Boiy, I've seen West compared to which that much West looks like a bug-hop in a circle!! West! Huh!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 10:04 AM

Out here in the West we make our own. Got a big ole pot of chilblains simmerin' outside in the cold right now, if Gluon will leave 'em alone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 09:59 AM

Please pardon my misspelling of "chilblains" in the previous post. I am searching my closet for a hairshirt as I type.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 09:49 AM

The last recorded instance of anyone getting chillblains was in 1929. Chillblains' popularity had began to plummet with the start if the new century in 1900, as large numbers of people sought to confirm their sense of "modernity" by distancing themselves from outmoded Nineteenth Century ailments. The last manufacturer of chillblains, United Chillblains Inc. of Newark, NJ, was an immediate casualty of the onset of The Great Depression. The entire board of directors committed mass suicide by leaping from open third-story windows into huge vats of icy slush.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 01:33 AM

Sorry I was away so long, Mom. Just as I was ready to walk out the door to go buy a few hundred pounds of potting soil for extra weight to stabilize the pickup in case of this ice they're predicting, my ex called to say the opthalmologist was about to poke a needle in his eye and do a laser thingie to fix his holey retina. Could I pick him up? Trouble was, his car would be left behind. So I drove to the town 45 miles north where Moonglow lives when she goes to college and got her, and drove back to Fort Worth and she drove her Dad home. I left at rush hour in a rain storm so the trip took a lot longer than usual, and then I still had to go buy my dirt. All has now been accomplished. Earlier today when I was out walking the dogs before it got cold we got caught in the rain. They were so wet when we got home that I just popped them each in the tub and gave them a bath. As long as I dry them real well with the towel (they love the massage!) they'll tolerate it. So I've had wet feet all day, ever since I took the dogs out at about 2pm, before the bath, before the drive, before the dirt. I'll be lucky if I don't get chilblains!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 07 - 12:17 AM

I agree with Rapaire's self-assessment; he is such a man as he says, if e'er one there was.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 10:40 PM

So send him to the 85 billion thread. They've been asking for him over there.

We MOABites have no use for Shane or his ilk. No... make that particularly for his ilk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 09:21 PM

Shane's back out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 09:16 PM

I, myself, am a man of adfv aw shitklf


QUARK ! !



              Quark ! !




Goddamn it, Gluon!! Stop humping my leg!!!


                        QUARK ! !


  QUARK ! !    


Q


   U


     A


  r


K



 


                 !



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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 08:07 PM

I think we should have an Unconstant constant instead, which would make life far less predictable, and therefore better. It could be joined by false true loves, and assorted other impractical things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 07:34 PM

Oh dear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jan 07 - 07:29 PM

Poor Mom. We've lost track of bits of her and the only way to fix it is to constantly apply a constant. It is very sad. In fact, it is sorrowful. Poor Mom is a thread of constant sorrow.


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