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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bunnahabhain 21 Nov 06 - 12:20 PM
Rapparee 21 Nov 06 - 11:57 AM
MMario 21 Nov 06 - 10:44 AM
Amos 21 Nov 06 - 10:40 AM
Rapparee 21 Nov 06 - 10:19 AM
Acme 21 Nov 06 - 12:07 AM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 10:01 PM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 09:55 PM
Rapparee 20 Nov 06 - 09:08 PM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 07:11 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Nov 06 - 07:09 PM
Rapparee 20 Nov 06 - 06:39 PM
Rapparee 20 Nov 06 - 06:35 PM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 04:35 PM
frogprince 20 Nov 06 - 02:17 PM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 02:02 PM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 10:02 AM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 09:27 AM
Acme 20 Nov 06 - 09:19 AM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 09:09 AM
Amos 20 Nov 06 - 12:27 AM
Amos 19 Nov 06 - 09:57 PM
Acme 19 Nov 06 - 04:22 PM
Amos 19 Nov 06 - 03:18 PM
Rapparee 19 Nov 06 - 01:36 PM
Amos 19 Nov 06 - 12:16 PM
Rapparee 19 Nov 06 - 11:21 AM
Bunnahabhain 19 Nov 06 - 10:39 AM
Rapparee 19 Nov 06 - 09:48 AM
Acme 18 Nov 06 - 09:24 PM
Rapparee 18 Nov 06 - 07:59 PM
Amos 18 Nov 06 - 07:45 PM
Bunnahabhain 18 Nov 06 - 12:47 PM
Rapparee 18 Nov 06 - 12:43 PM
Amos 18 Nov 06 - 11:57 AM
Amos 18 Nov 06 - 11:54 AM
Rapparee 18 Nov 06 - 10:04 AM
Bunnahabhain 18 Nov 06 - 08:55 AM
Amos 18 Nov 06 - 12:17 AM
Amos 17 Nov 06 - 11:43 PM
Acme 17 Nov 06 - 11:38 PM
Rapparee 17 Nov 06 - 08:52 PM
Acme 17 Nov 06 - 07:49 PM
Amos 17 Nov 06 - 07:07 PM
Rapparee 17 Nov 06 - 07:00 PM
Bunnahabhain 17 Nov 06 - 04:29 PM
Amos 17 Nov 06 - 04:17 PM
Amos 17 Nov 06 - 01:28 PM
frogprince 17 Nov 06 - 01:27 PM
MMario 17 Nov 06 - 12:22 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 12:20 PM

Well, at least it bypases the conversation that goes like..


1)What was that dear?
2)Oh, doesn't matter.
1)You sure?
2)If it was important, you should have been listening in the first place.
1) You know I can't hear if I'm in the kitchen, and you're in here with show of hands on that loud
etc...

And people have money on us being the next couple in the group to get engaged. I really don't know where they get that idea!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 11:57 AM

Well, for some time now I've been aware
That my hearing's been lower than my underwear.
It's called sensorineural hearing loss
Ototoxicological, and it ain't boss.

Took quinine for leg cramps, don't ya see?
Worked great, but caused severe loss ta me.
Can't hear high frequencies, like a woman's voice,
But my wife wrote a note with some Good Advice.


All of the above is true. I learned it over a month ago, following a full-blown hearing test at the local University's Audiology Department. And I've been going to classes and reading up on it.

Sensorineural hearing loss means that you can't hear high frequency sounds very well, if at all. And really and truly and I ain't kiddin' hear are those sounds:

/f//k/ /th//s/ /sh//t/

I about split a gut laughing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 10:44 AM

not too much problem - my nephew had cords that matched each of our cats and each of our dogs. Even had pairs that matched the burro and the gelding. (And matching turtlenecks for each colour - but that's another story - the only turtleneck he *DIDn't* have matching cords for was the plaid one)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 10:40 AM

I would think it would be expensive trying to find low-rise cords that match a cat, for example. Or Army fatigues in Doberman.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 10:19 AM

Only buy him clothes the color of cat and dog hair and he'll be fine, albeit unfashionable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 12:07 AM

My cat just hopped up in my lap to shed in the keyboard and purr a greeting to MOM. He's the color of that Tyvek wrap. Maybe I should convince my teenaged son that Tyvek is a fashion statement so he would stop fussing about the cat hair on his black jeans and t-shirts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 10:01 PM

1 4 9 7 3



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 09:55 PM

Bee Dubya Ell, you got some catchin' up to do. You sit right down and get started on it!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 09:08 PM

It's a plan to fatten up Mom while skinnying her down. Max and Pene thought it up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 07:11 PM

I have duly noted your excuses, Rapaire, in case I need to present them to a CHP officer on your behalf later. As for your allergy, not to worry. This is California. We have herbal remedies for everything, and there is a health food store just down the block. Tincture of hemlock, I think...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 07:09 PM

Hi, Mom! Long time no see.

Why does the forum home page say there are only 8,697 posts on this thread, but there are actually 300 pages of posts which, at 50 posts per page, equals 15,000? Is somebody trying to make it look like you've been on a diet or something?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 06:39 PM

I should mention that I'm in Indiana all this week. So if you drop by the house, notbody will be home. You'll have to drive to Indiana to see me. But just so you know:

The check is in the mail.
She LOOKED 25.
I was out of town when it happened.
My gun was unloaded.
I was with witnesses.
I was drunk, but not THAT drunk.
Look, that check is good -- redeposit it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 06:35 PM

I'm alllergic to Ukranian love ballads. They make me break out in Cossack dance, the one where you kick your feet out, and swing a sword wildly in all directions and this make people break out with bruises and ugly cuts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 04:35 PM

Nah, I have decided to only do the ones with less than twenty verses each. He'll be back in his hotel by four AM, at the latest. Hell, we stayed up later than that at the Getaway and I never sang even ONE Ukrainian love ballad.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: frogprince
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 02:17 PM

Be afraid, Rapaire; be very afraid!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 02:02 PM

I am so glad Rapaire is coming to San Diego. I will have a chance to present to him my collection of Ukrainian 15th Century love ballads, each of which is twice as long, at a minimum, as Bar'bry Ellen.

There are 112 of them. I have them all memorized. But in order not to fatigue him, I am trying to choose the 40 best to sing to him when he comes to visit. It is not an easy choice. "The Heart of a Birch Tree Also Breaks", for example, could not be missed, even with its thirty-seven verses. Hard decisions...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 10:02 AM

14963 messages, says Printer Friendly, the only survivor who can still count...his wife, User, says it's because he kept his wits when all around him were losing theirs, and blaming it on him.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 09:27 AM

ABsolutely. Send him a Tyvek membership card.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 09:19 AM

But you could make her a nice windbreaker. My Dad has one of those--it was a novelty as far as he was concerned, his white Tyvek jacket.

Say, if you've read any of Alaska Mike's recent posts you'll know he was in a pretty hefty coma for a few days. Sounds like he came up with some premium BS material--how's about we nominate Alaska Mike as an honorary MOABite? (Just till he feels better--then he'll have to maintain his membership on his own).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 09:09 AM

I don't think we should wrap Mom in Tyvek. It's not comfortable on the skin.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 06 - 12:27 AM

DuPont Tyvek® has introduced new dimensions of protection, security and safety in a wide variety of industries, including protective apparel, construction, envelopes, medical packaging and graphics!

Made from very fine, high-density polyethylene fibers, Tyvek® brand protective material offers all the best characteristics of paper, film and fabric in one material. This unique balance of properties, which cannot be found in any other material, makes Tyvek® lightweight yet strong; vapor-permeable, yet water-, chemical-, puncture-, tear- and abrasion-resistant. Tyvek® is also low-linting, smooth and opaque.

The discovery of Tyvek® was a chance occurrence by a DuPont researcher, Jim White, who in 1955 noticed white polyethylene fluff coming out of a pipe in a DuPont experimental lab. A program to develop the new material was set up, and a year later DuPont submitted a patent proposal for strong yarn linear polyethylene.

The proprietary flash-spinning technology, which is the basis for what was to become DuPont's new engineered sheet structure, took several more years to perfect. In 1959, a pilot facility was established for trial applications such as book covers, tags, labels and certain garments. In 1965, the new engineered sheet structure was registered under the trademark name Tyvek®, but it was not until April 1967 that commercial production of Tyvek® started.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 09:57 PM

Such a lyedy, you!!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 04:22 PM

I think I'd rather follow Google's lead and talk about Tyvek and Insulation and Efficient Attic systems.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 03:18 PM

Water that is, in fact, pure, will not have any flavor, as far as I note; conversely iff there are enough extraneous particles to give it a fecal flavor, it isn't pure.

What am I missing here?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 01:36 PM

It's a purification process, not a taste-improving process. Like my Law of cooking: Nontoxic in, nontoxic out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 12:16 PM

IF so, the purification process hasn't worked, nicht wahr?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 11:21 AM

Did you know that on the International Space Station they purify urine for drinking. Also the liquid found in feces. Shower water too is recycled.

So, when they reconstitute some food using ISS water, and somebody says, "This food tastes like shit!" it's not because of the food....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 10:39 AM

To whom does the urine belong, which you are extracting below, Rapaire?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 06 - 09:48 AM

Welcome to November 19, Ma. Have a cuppa. It's Jamaica Blue Mountain, which I picked, roasted, and burr-ground myself just for you. The cream is from that small herd over near Camp, County Kerry, and that's Demarara sugar, of course. Of course, I used water from small spring outside Burton, Illinois -- the one where all the watercress grows, you'll remember -- and after gently filtering it through pure white sand I used ultraviolet light to kill any possible germs. Oh, and I made the scones myself, grinding the flour from that hard wheat they grow over in the Arbon Valley and using the raspberries from my backyard. I baked them in the brick oven after it had been heated with well-seasoned white oak. Of course, the butter's from that same herd and I churned it myself, cooling it in the springhouse.

Hope you like it. It's just a simple little "good morning." Breakfast will be ready shortly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 09:24 PM

I need to paint the top of my house one of these days--the colors are horrible, but they were recent when I moved in so I didn't do that first. The rest of the house is brick and stone. I painted the inside of my attic silver last summer--it seems to help with heat radiating into the house, and it should help keep the inside heat in when it gets cold out.

LoMIT II is the stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 07:59 PM

Dryvit, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 07:45 PM

We just signed up to have our house covered in diatomaceous earth or something like that...I really hope I'm doing the right thing. But the contractor wasa very nice man...

Seriously, we're being stuccoed, a complex job as we are upgrading from a mid-60's board-and-plaster design. But I think it will be loverly.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 12:47 PM

Well last time it was a Saturday, starting sometime in the late afternoon, and the weapon of choice was a case or three of something the legion had distilled in an old radiator. A couple of the guys hanging around the hovel minus their eybrows were very adamant about not going anywhere near the fire with it.

I get a bit hazy what happened past about 3 am the next morning, and had just about recovered by tuesday...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 12:43 PM

Well, I land at the airport and go to the HoJo motel. My brother and his oldest will probably be there already. That's on the 30th. On December 1 I go to see my nephew gradiate from the US Moron Corps...er, Marine Corps. Then we go back to the motel and on the 2d everybody pretty much goes home.

I PMed you my flight info.

I'll let you know more when I do. Really.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 11:57 AM

Rapaire, you have not answered my last question concerning your trip to San Diego. Not the one about weapons, the one about scheduling, which I posed in a PM to you. Pray do!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 11:54 AM

Drôme is a section or province of France, mon vieux, home of Montelimar, famous for its nougat.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 10:04 AM

Feller out on the Snake River Plain planted turnips (swedes to you Ukers) and by August some of 'em were bigger'n a blimp. He made out like a bandit hitting a gold-carrying stage without a guard! Sold two of 'em to the airport, where they hollowed 'em out for hangars; used a couple more hollowed out ones on the ranch as a new barn and potato barn, and sold all the small ones to the local real estate developers to be used for houses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 08:55 AM

Drome? Isn't that that town in Alaska with Geothermally heated soil, so they can grow record breaking root vegetables. What use a rutabaga the size of a small car ( or in European terms, an adult elephant), is I don't know....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 12:17 AM

14941!


And now I, too, have a pal in Drome.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 11:43 PM

I think it should be:

And the wither'd murderer,
Alarmed by his sentinel

(the wolf,
Who howls his watch)

Towards his design moves like a ghost.


Otherwise, the center will not hold.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 11:38 PM

Printer Friendly says we're at 14938.

14939 after this one.

You know, this is a great way to keep folks like Flamenco Ted from poaching. They don't have a clue as to the *real* numbers unless they do a little research.

Meanwhile, 61 to go to a really big number . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 08:52 PM

Shaxperean grammar and spelling was not fettered by Victorian principles OR principals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 07:49 PM

It scans better if you lose the second apostrophe in that line. Actually, lose both of them.

From

Who's howl's   to

Whose howls

Just my two cents.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 07:07 PM

Who's howl's his watch...


Ummmm...I dunno. Who has howl-is-his-watch? Who is "Howl-is-his-watch"?

Musta been written by an injun, I guess.

Shakespeare could have said it better.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 07:00 PM

Now o'er one half the world nature seems dead
And wicked dreams abuse the troubled sleep.
Witchcraft celebrates pale Hecate's offering
And the wither'd murderer,
Alarmed by his sentinel the wolf
Who's howl's his watch
Towards his design moves like a ghost.
Oh, thou sure and firm-set Earth
Hear not my steps, which way they wend
For fear the very stones prate of my whereabouts.
(A bell rings.)
I go, and it is done. The bell invites me.
Hear it not, Duncan, for it is a knell
That summons thee to heaven, or to hell.
(Exit stage right, doing a soft-shoe)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 04:29 PM

Why undo mischief? Enjoying it more fun....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 04:17 PM

And thoughts of darkness seek to undo that mischief...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 01:28 PM

That, too.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: frogprince
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 01:27 PM

"Dark thought tends to...compress thighs together..." ?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 12:22 PM

and it seems that money and gravity are mutally attractive.


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