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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 29 Nov 06 - 03:45 AM
Acme 28 Nov 06 - 11:59 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 06 - 11:14 PM
Bunnahabhain 28 Nov 06 - 07:23 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 06 - 05:54 PM
frogprince 28 Nov 06 - 05:19 PM
Amos 28 Nov 06 - 04:58 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 06 - 04:56 PM
Amos 28 Nov 06 - 04:34 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 06 - 03:31 PM
Amos 28 Nov 06 - 12:29 PM
Amos 28 Nov 06 - 11:04 AM
Acme 28 Nov 06 - 10:35 AM
frogprince 28 Nov 06 - 10:03 AM
Acme 28 Nov 06 - 09:59 AM
Amos 28 Nov 06 - 08:52 AM
Amos 27 Nov 06 - 11:55 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 06 - 09:21 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 06 - 06:50 PM
Acme 27 Nov 06 - 06:25 PM
Amos 27 Nov 06 - 06:23 PM
Acme 27 Nov 06 - 06:09 PM
Acme 26 Nov 06 - 11:46 AM
frogprince 26 Nov 06 - 11:23 AM
Acme 26 Nov 06 - 12:17 AM
Rapparee 25 Nov 06 - 09:48 PM
Amos 25 Nov 06 - 01:32 PM
Bunnahabhain 25 Nov 06 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 25 Nov 06 - 07:42 AM
Rapparee 24 Nov 06 - 07:56 PM
Acme 24 Nov 06 - 12:05 PM
Rapparee 24 Nov 06 - 09:22 AM
Acme 23 Nov 06 - 11:55 PM
JennyO 23 Nov 06 - 08:01 PM
GUEST,Amos 23 Nov 06 - 05:00 PM
Bunnahabhain 23 Nov 06 - 12:26 PM
Acme 23 Nov 06 - 12:03 PM
JennyO 23 Nov 06 - 10:55 AM
JennyO 23 Nov 06 - 10:53 AM
JennyO 23 Nov 06 - 10:50 AM
Rapparee 23 Nov 06 - 09:39 AM
Rapparee 23 Nov 06 - 09:19 AM
Acme 23 Nov 06 - 01:47 AM
Rapparee 22 Nov 06 - 06:50 PM
Amos 22 Nov 06 - 01:38 PM
Acme 22 Nov 06 - 11:28 AM
Acme 22 Nov 06 - 11:26 AM
Amos 22 Nov 06 - 10:53 AM
Rapparee 22 Nov 06 - 10:26 AM
Amos 21 Nov 06 - 11:38 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 06 - 03:45 AM

No point and very little pay, but the tips are good. In this respect Rapaire is like a Hasidic mohel. An ungay blade, who won't come off the fence.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 11:59 PM

What's the point in that post?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 11:14 PM

A bout of twelve hits tonight, friendly stuff. We each scored a dozen, and neither of us would have gone home unbloodied had there been points instead of tips. Come to think of it, neither of us would have had to pay hospital bills. Funeral expenses, yup, but not hospital bills.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 07:23 PM

Will Gluon stop eating my posts...


As I tried to say earlier, the next post which is palindromic in both numbering systems is 13431, which is really 20002. They remain in sync up to 19991, diverge, and then sync again from 23432 to 29992 (public numbers)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 05:54 PM

I think that I shall never see
A Ra as handsome as is me.

A Ra that is a God all day,                 
And will fleece the supplicants who pray;        

A living God who may in summer wear        
A golden head dress on his hair;        

Who down in lovely muck has lain,        
Happy, 'til he rose again.


Oops, wrong poem and wrong poet. Sorry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: frogprince
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 05:19 PM

If this be Ra I see,
I'll kick him in the knee;
No ifs,or ands, or buts,
I'll kick him in the other knee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 04:58 PM

Aha. I see I have been woefully misinformed both about your circumstances and about the basic parts of an outline. Woe, woe.... LOL!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 04:56 PM

A. It wasn't a Board meeting, it was a meeting of the Supervisors and me.

2. My Board of Trustees laughs a LOT.

III. My staff laughs a lot, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 04:34 PM

Except the Board thought he meant his pole and his human resources, which made them think he was buggering the crew...plus the Sun Hat...I dunno, man, but....well, let's put it this way: how long since you updated your resume? I mean, a joke's a joke, and all, but these Board types can be more serious than a DLL file in a pocket calculator, if you know what I mean...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 03:31 PM

What I did not mention is that I also brought my new fly fishing pole to the meeting. When asked why, I explained that I had both my rod and my staff....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 12:29 PM

Of grand delusions, wild and faire
The Master, here, is bold Rapaire
Who often dreams himself a star,
Or leading Foreign Legions far,
Or fancies he is twirling twine
Upon some cattle-pony's spine.

But of all these grand delusions, one
Has beaten all the rest for fun --
Being the ancient God of Sun!
There's nothing quite so lahdeedah
As walking 'round dressed up as Ra!

And none who do it with the flair
Brought to the vision by Rapaire!
His swiveling hips and God-like gaze
Are certain all the Board to faze,
Though they may think such fearsome looks
Were better used procuring books.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 11:04 AM

Ra, Ra, Giant Rat!
Kick the Sun God in his hat!
Ra, Ra, Rackety Ree!
Kick him in his other hat.


Howzzat?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 10:35 AM

Hmmm. Rapaire needs something about "kick him in the other hat." Ra ra ra.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: frogprince
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 10:03 AM

As I heard it,

Rickety, Rackety, Ree,
Kick him in the knee;
Rickety, Rackety, Razz;
Kick him in the other knee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 09:59 AM

Ra Ra Sis Boom Bah. . .

Kick him in the other knee

Sis Boom Bah


How did that go?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 06 - 08:52 AM

It was only a pallindrome in the public false numbering. In the secret true numbering it was n't. There must be a number somewhere that is palindromic in both sets!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 06 - 11:55 PM

Well you showed 'em up fer the poor narrow minded fools they are, Rapaire. Imagine not wanting to address the Library Director as the Sun God!!! No imagination. Pshaw!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 06 - 09:21 PM

AND I snagged a palindrome!

Well, Mom, today I had a meeting of the Supervisors and wore my new headgear. I have decided that I no longer want to be called "Library Director" but must be addressed as "Ra, The Living God" instead. For some reason this provoked a rather unseemly display of laughter and comments of a type I shall not mention so as to spare your ears that kind of language.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 06 - 06:50 PM

For the first time in a day and half!!! Ah, Mom! 'Tis good to see your lined and aged, but loving, face again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Nov 06 - 06:25 PM

You could at least offer us towels, or a nice warm San Diego patio to sit and get dry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 06 - 06:23 PM

Prolly 'cause no-one else around here goes anywhere near a golf course except to make out...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Nov 06 - 06:09 PM

Head bursts up from the still water of the pool in the middle of an Idaho golf course. . . the swimmer gasps for breath and then pulls another form to the surface. More sputtering, followed by a slow but steady one-armed crawl to drag the almost inert form to the edge of the water trap

MOM! You were going down for the third time! I got here just in the nick of time!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 06 - 11:46 AM

Aww, he's waxing poetic, or maybe geologic (if there is limestone with clam fossils in that there part of I-dee-ho). I have oyster fossils around here in Texas, but I also have fresh water clams that get as big as the razor clams on the Washington coast. I only see the shells, not the live clams.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: frogprince
Date: 26 Nov 06 - 11:23 AM

"surrounded by acres of clams I shall soon decorate for Christmas...."

Sounds like a lot of work; I'm doin' good to get around to stringing up a few lights on the front porch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Nov 06 - 12:17 AM

My team is bedded down on the hay in their stall. Seriously. I built the dogs a stall in the garage. And they're so sweet, especially today since I gave them each a bath yesterday. It's still so warm here that I toweled each off then let them dry in the back yard. Warmest November I ever remember.

Well, Mom, I've been slowly but surely listing stuff on eBay today. I'm up to 11 items now. Doesn't sound like a lot, but this is stuff that is cluttering the house (was in the garage until I moved stuff around) and needs to be donated or sold. I'll try selling it first. I figured this is a good time of year to list stuff--there are a lot more folks browsing the virtual halls of eBay in the next month than all of the rest of the year.

Back to the salt mines for a while. . . but never fear, I'll go check on the team before I lock up and run my evening bath.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 09:48 PM

Got home just a bit ago. Cattle were fine and all there, horses were in good shape. The boys took good care of the place while we were gone. Even cleaned my .30-30 after using it to shoot an elk -- then a good elk stew on the stove, slow cooked over coals, along with some of Cosi's biscuits and some Arbuckle's coffee, ain't nothin' finer this side of Paradise.

Well, I better go see to the team. They're all unhitched and brushed down, put in their stalls with some oats and hay. But ya jist gotta be sure, ya know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 01:32 PM

That was a wick'd remark if I ever heard one. Is anyone keeping tallow of these comments? If he will stop waxing we will let him into Wane's world. Party on, Rapaire!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 09:15 AM

Stop eating the candles Rapaire. They don't do you any good, and you keep waxing lyrical afterwards....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 07:42 AM

And now, dear Mom, I'm going to fly back to my little old sod shanty in The Pacific Northwest. Yes, surrounded by acres of clams I shall soon decorate for Christmas. Just one candle in the window and a sagebrush for a Christmas tree, but warm Western Hospitality will more than make up for the lack of lavish luxuries. This year I'm gonna saddle Old Paint and ride into town, me and Little Joe (the wrangler), and but ANOTHER glass ornament for our Christmas Sagebrush! That'll make three. And I think I'll buy Pat a new mop for a Christmas present, or maybe a new washboard. After all, it's the thought that counts, isn't it? We'll strum a few of the songs we learned Back In The States, maybe drink a tot or two of eggnog, have our special dinner (canned oysters and just the opposite of beef and beans!), curry the horses and give them some hay (if they'll eat it, because they might not be hungry) and then, overcome with the exertions of the festivities, tumble in bed and wrap ourselves in our good ol' sugguns for a long winter's nap. And as the fire in the hearth burns low, Ol' Shep will be curled up in front of it, dreamin' about chasin' cattle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 07:56 PM

No, the airport wouldn't allow that. So I fooled 'em! I put some turkey and gravy and stuffing in a box and mailed it to myself! Cheapest rate, of course, since I'm running low on cash money, having bought some books and things. But I can enjoy it when it gets there, you betcha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 12:05 PM

Hey, MOM, want a nice piece of pumpkin pie for breakfast? And a turkey sandwich on homemade rolls for lunch? We've got 'em! I bet the airline isn't going to let Rapaire haul turkey and gravy through the airport so I bet he won't get homemade hot turkey sandwiches over the weekend. Going to stay with family is nice, but that's a huge tradeoff--no hot turkey sandwiches.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 09:22 AM

Well, Mom, Stilly's cleaning up cat barf and Amos is finding the way to San Jose is full of pitfalls and potholes. Especially POTholes, if you get my drift. At least he's with a trumpeter and we all know that trumpeters will keep you on the straight and narrow because no more upstanding and law-abiding folks live in this world than trumpeters (trumpeteresses?? well, trumpet players).

Temptress trumpeteress Tess's tresses. Say THAT six times fast!

Thanksgiving is over and this morning we shall gather leaves in the yard of our friend May, at whose house we are. This afternoon is reserved for play (no, not jumping into the piles of leaves!) and tomorrow morning early we take the bus to Midway airport (or aeroport, if you prefer) and wing our way back to our humble home in the West. By tomorrow night I shall be asleep in my own bed.

More later, Mom. I need more coffee. And breakfast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 11:55 PM

Dinner has been cooked and eaten, the kitchen is cleaned up, the turkey broth has been made (from the carcass of the bird after most of the meat was removed). Gotta get that out of the way all at once while the momentum is working. Now I'm sitting, content, and thinking I might find something to put my tired feet up on.

I had better go make my bed now, so when I'm ready to crash I can just do so. This morning I found that the cat did a little barf on the sheets overnight. Bleh. I didn't hear it, which is unusual--there's normally nothing that the "urka gurka" sound to bring me right out of a sound sleep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 08:01 PM

Certainly we in Oz have a lot to be thankful for - a beautiful country with unique flora and fauna and a pleasant (most of the time) climate. It's true that a lot of our ancestors came here under rather dire circumstances, but many of them eventually achieved not only freedom, but land ownership and a successful business career. A good example is Mary Reiby. Several places in Sydney are named after her, and her face is on our $20 note. The entrepreneurial spirit is very strong here.

We have Australia Day on January 26, which celebrates the anniversary of Captain Arthur Phillip unfurling the British flag at Sydney Cove and proclaiming British sovereignty over the eastern seaboard of Australia on 26 January 1788. More here Australia Day - an historic timeline. It's a public holiday that is accompanied by naturalisation ceremonies, concerts, fireworks, and the Great Aussie Barbeque, usually in stinking hot weather. Many, like me, would prefer to just stay indoors and try to keep cool.

However many Indigenous Australians think of it as Invasion or Survival Day - an annual reminder of the occupation of the country they had inhabited for tens of thousands of years and recalls the damage to their relationship with the land, culture, traditions and beliefs that followed. Although attempts are being made to use it to promote understanding, respect and reconciliation with our aboriginal people, I personally think that particular date can't help being a reminder to them.

I wish we had a significant day in a cooler part of the year. Some people hold a "Christmas in July" party just so they can have the traditional hot dinner in weather that is more conducive. I'd like to see another day, like Thanksgiving, in about May, that would fit in with the "harvest" idea just before winter. I've never heard any suggestion of it though, so I guess I'll just have to make up my own. We could do "Samhain" at home. That would be nice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 05:00 PM

Warmest felicitations to all my fellow MOABites from sunny San Jose, where the clan has gathered at Barky's for full blown multicourse celebratory dinner. Had a grand evening with Mudlark outside Paso Robles yesterday, en route, and sang until the wee hours. She is a remarkable fine singer.

Despite the surfeit of good local wine (Paso Robles is a rising center of excellent vineyards) I am not hung over today, and Barky's place is warm and rich with music flowing and chatter among the three generations of women folk gathered here.

Life is good, and I have many things to feel grateful about, especially BBW and Barky, but not least among them, my many fine friends and companions from this wacky virtual universe!


Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 12:26 PM

Well Thanksgiving does represent the arrival of settlers in a new, free, land, whereas the first europeans making landfall in any great numbers in Australia were not so lucky, although simply getting off an 18th century wooden ship after 6+ months would be cause enough to celebrate.

I can't find anything giving me a typical route for thes ships, but they'd only be stopping an Atlantic port, the cape of Good Hope, probably straight across to Western Australia


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 12:03 PM

Why so it was!

Beautiful warm sunny day here today, all week has been like this. Not our usual Thanksgiving weather. We have had some pretty nasty turkey-days in the past, and those feel more the norm. But for now, though we're still in a drought it is cooler and the yards look great. I wish the grass would stop growing, it should be dormant by now.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 10:55 AM

15,000 by the way ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 10:53 AM

Oh yes, and Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who celebrate it. We don't seem to go in for Thanksgiving down here in Oz. We have taken on a lot of the US customs, but not this one it seems.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 10:50 AM

Ancient Egypt down by the Nile,
Mummy's gonna be in a tomb for a while
Fair go pharoah, that's not funny,
Tell King Tut - I WANT MY MUMMY!


wish I could remember the rest of it....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 09:39 AM

Oh yeah. Happy Thanksgiving to all MOABites who are around Mom's place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 09:19 AM

Hey, he was a Pharaoh! He wouldn't put up with that kind of sheet, what with his dry wit and all. I mean, he IS a gutless wonder, but he has his standards.

Pat bought me one of those pharaohnic headresses, like on Tut's death mask, to wear to work. All black and gold with a cobra sticking its tongue out. The staff is gonna love it...maybe I'll wear it next Tuesday to my Monthly Mayor Meeting. Now I gotta get a crook and a flail and I'll be all set.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 01:47 AM

If he visits Texas and has to be rewrapped, you can write a song about The Sheets of Laredo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 06:50 PM

I think I ruptured my sarcophagus wandering around that museum. And if you think there's useless stuff around today, ol' Tutty had hisself a solid gold dagger!

Here, I done writ a song about it:

I've lived as a simple guy
And a simple guy I'll die
I just want a simple funeral, you see
Nothing fancy or too swell,
Just some roses, prayers, and well,
A sold gold sarcophagus for me!

Just wrap me up in yards of linen
Stuck together with some resin
Put lots of gold and jewelry things therein.
I've worth every single cent
So it's not something to resent
When on my corpse you place a big ol' diamond pin.

Make my grave large, wide, and deep
Ten thousand mourners there to weep
There are no sins for which I must atone.
And inside my funeral chamber
Pile my furniture and other plunder
Then top it with a billion tons of stone.

For I'm just a simple guy
And a simple guy I'll die
And I want a simple funeral, you see
Nothing fancy or too swell,
Just some roses, prayers, and well...
This is just the least that you can do for me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 01:38 PM

Oy! I want me mummy!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 11:28 AM

Oops, typo:

Tut, Tut, Hatshepsut


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 11:26 AM

Tut, Tut, Hatshepshut


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 10:53 AM

Dear Tut, Old Tut
Ya shoulda kept it shut
Ya mighta lasted just a little longer.....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 06 - 10:26 AM

Mornin' Mom! Gotta run, 'cause Tut awaits me at the Field Museum.

I'm mentally writing a song about this....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 06 - 11:38 PM

Check it out, but don't step in it....


The Google ads are offering "Choir Shirts for Less". now. Cui bono?


A


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