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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,Chongo Chimp 23 Mar 15 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 15 - 05:12 PM
Little Hawk 23 Mar 15 - 04:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Mar 15 - 03:54 PM
Little Hawk 23 Mar 15 - 01:52 PM
Rapparee 23 Mar 15 - 12:32 PM
Little Hawk 23 Mar 15 - 11:09 AM
Rapparee 23 Mar 15 - 09:30 AM
GUEST,Amos 22 Mar 15 - 11:40 PM
gnu 22 Mar 15 - 06:37 PM
Rapparee 22 Mar 15 - 11:48 AM
gnu 22 Mar 15 - 05:23 AM
Rapparee 22 Mar 15 - 12:43 AM
Amos 21 Mar 15 - 10:48 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 15 - 09:19 PM
GUEST,# 21 Mar 15 - 12:50 PM
Amos 21 Mar 15 - 12:42 PM
Acme 21 Mar 15 - 10:45 AM
gnu 21 Mar 15 - 10:30 AM
Amos 21 Mar 15 - 10:04 AM
GUEST,Blind Drunk in Blind River 21 Mar 15 - 01:44 AM
Rapparee 20 Mar 15 - 07:46 PM
GUEST,# 20 Mar 15 - 06:37 PM
Rapparee 20 Mar 15 - 06:06 PM
Amos 20 Mar 15 - 02:20 PM
Rapparee 20 Mar 15 - 01:27 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 20 Mar 15 - 12:29 PM
Rapparee 20 Mar 15 - 08:54 AM
Rapparee 19 Mar 15 - 09:00 PM
Amos 19 Mar 15 - 06:16 PM
gnu 19 Mar 15 - 03:35 PM
Acme 19 Mar 15 - 02:43 PM
gnu 19 Mar 15 - 12:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Mar 15 - 12:03 PM
GUEST,# 19 Mar 15 - 10:02 AM
GUEST,Rapparee 19 Mar 15 - 09:47 AM
gnu 18 Mar 15 - 05:43 PM
Amos 18 Mar 15 - 04:17 PM
gnu 18 Mar 15 - 02:17 PM
Acme 18 Mar 15 - 02:08 PM
Amos 18 Mar 15 - 01:38 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Mar 15 - 09:55 PM
Rapparee 17 Mar 15 - 09:32 PM
Acme 17 Mar 15 - 07:21 PM
Acme 17 Mar 15 - 07:21 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 17 Mar 15 - 06:59 PM
gnu 17 Mar 15 - 01:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Mar 15 - 01:34 PM
Rapparee 17 Mar 15 - 11:56 AM
gnu 17 Mar 15 - 11:13 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 23 Mar 15 - 10:31 PM

That .45-70 is a real nice lookin' rifle, Rap, good fer single shot long range shootin'. I like it. Mostly, though, I am usin' semi-auto or fully automatic weapons for layin' down a heavy volume of fire at short to medium ranges...meanin' the M1911 Pistol most of the time and the tommygun for the major firefights which happen now and then when the local gangs get restless. If I was hunkered down in the country, though, and aimin' to snipe at longer range, I figger the .45-70 would do the trick just fine.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 15 - 05:12 PM

Yeah, New Order, I got me a .45-70 for that....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Mar 15 - 04:02 PM

I would rate Chongo as a champion mudslinger when it's called for. As for the accusations of "poopflinging", that's outright specism! Expect to be investigated for it soon after Chongo sets about establishing the "New Order" in America...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Mar 15 - 03:54 PM

Well, Chongo's success as a candidate will depend largely on his ability to convert his innate anthropoid ability to fling fecal matter into the politician's innate ability to sling mud. There is a difference between shit and mud, and the skills required to be a good poop flinger don't automatically convert to mudslinging, and vice versa. In a poop flinging contest, Ted Cruz wouldn't stand a chance against Chongo, but Chongo might be just a bit too fair-minded to top Senator Cruz in mudslinging.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Mar 15 - 01:52 PM

Yes, I think it does. Penelope cut her off from financial aid some time ago. It's Winston who is the problem. He insists on indulging Veronica's whims for some reason...possibly to annoy Penelope. Their marriage is akin to the ongoing relations between North and South Korea.

Shane never thinks about the Rutledges at all. I think he and they may exist in separate dimensions, as neither party has ever acknowledged the other's existence. As for Chongo, he knows about the Rutledges, but hasn't met them on his few trips to England. He also knows about Shane, but has never had any reason to visit Blind River.

This could mean that Chongo is a multidimensional being, capable of moving seamlessly between worlds!!! It's another excellent reason to vote for him in 2016. He's less devious than Hillary Clinton, a lot smarter than Jeb Bush, and far saner than Ted Cruz. According to you, his gender is indeterminate, which makes him an ideal candidate for progressives everywhere to rally behind since he would be the first transgender president EVER, not to mention the first REAL ape to occupy the White House! (George W. Bush doesn't count...) The choice is clear and the time is ripe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 15 - 12:32 PM

Won't her "Shane-shane-shanie" be jealous of Quilly? Bad Penny could just cut off the financing that supports VV and her gigol...young man. And I won't call her "Venereal Veronica" anymore -- "Randy Ronnie" probably fits better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Mar 15 - 11:09 AM

Amos, you said, "It's kind of droll seeing the battle of imaginary wits being levied against an imaginary shuck."

I think you probably meant to say "schmuck"...   Am I right? It's a pretty good word to describe Shane and his whole zeitgeist.

Rapparee, I don't think you've done anything wrong. To the contrary, I think you've expressed yourself very well and made your point quite clear. Shane gets very annoyed by your threats. He walks off, muttering darkly, and vowing deadly retaliation, but this amounts to nothing but empty threats...as you say, "posturing". It's one of the things Shane does best.

Chongo, on the other hand, seems to be amused when you talk tough to him. He chuckles warmly, scratches himself, and makes those little "ook! ook!" sounds that Chimps make when they're enjoying themselves.

It's nice of you to remember Veronica Rutledge, although I don't think she'd be a bit pleased by being referred to as "Venereal Veronica". She and Penelope are barely on speaking terms these days. Penelope does not approve of Veronica's dating activities. Veronica has taken up with a posh young wastrel named James Quillington Letchworthy or "Quilly" for short, and they've been partying around in London, Paris, and Monaco, raising eyebrows and generally behaving like utter prats. Even Miley Cyrus would be embarrassed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Mar 15 - 09:30 AM

No, what do they say? Do they admire me? Am I held up as a good example? If so, what have I done wrong?

Climate change = new Ice Age. gnu, get gelignite for you'll need it to clear your walk and driveway. Thermite might be better, or properly placed standard slurry for heavy heaving.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 22 Mar 15 - 11:40 PM

Your posturing is definitely first-class chordate material, Rapp, but you are threatening phantoms like a pugnacious drunk telling his pink elephants to put 'em up; only in this case they aren't even your own elephants, but another's. This means you are TWICE removed from connection with reality, and you know what they say about that in professional circles...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Mar 15 - 06:37 PM

Either Mom Nature stops this snowing crap or she's... another foot of heavy wet snow today? What the fuck is her problem??? STOP IT! JEEZUS this is getting me down. Like near 3m in seven weeks? I got yer arthritis from me fingers to me toes ya callus slut! I hurt 24 hours a day from shoveling. Give me a fuckin break eh? Spring this bitch!

On the other hand, I will sleep well tonight. Lots of exercise in the fresh air. Fer fuck sake!!! I can't wait for June when I will be suffering from the heat and humidity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 15 - 11:48 AM

Ah, Mom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Mar 15 - 05:23 AM

My aunt Dora is Aunt Dora. Thanks for reminding me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 15 - 12:43 AM

Amos, old chap, within any "combat" by chordates (which I assume that Shame McBride, like Chonga Chimp, is supposed to be) one of the most common actions is "posturing". While this is found primarily in males, it is not unknown in females, especially those guarding young. Posturing includes but is not limited to pawing the ground, beating the chest, yells and screams, and other actions intended to impress the rival with the posturer's "courage" and "combat ability" without have to actually engage in combative activities. This behavior is often seen in bars and is not unknown in music circles (e.g., "dueling banjos"). The problem these posturing people find is that there are some rivals who cannot be bluffed, so that when actual violence seems imminent person bluffs runs away, apologizes and otherwise tries to make amends, or is beaten to a bloody pile of feces and thrown out with the rest of the garbage. Both Shame and Chonga can do neither me nor you nor anyone else any harm whatsoever. And I have no doubt whatsoever that if, say, Chonga were indeed "done away with" another would arise to fill the rest of the void thus created: perhaps Venereal Veronica would take Chonga's place even though that position might better fit her Aunt Penelope (who appears to be named after a cow).

So do not fret, mon vieux! I tell you, myth will displace reality in the end -- just watch any country's politicians ply their ancient trade.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 15 - 10:48 PM

It's kind of droll seeing the battle of imaginary wits being levied against an imaginary shuck. Just saying'. Rapp, if you make Shane die,don't you know that could give Little Hawk a headache by creating a vacuum in his creative field? Whfwoooomp! Ow! Ya gotta play nice with your sibs, man...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 15 - 09:19 PM

Wow, that's prime stuff!

Gonna get a new fridge. The old one is 18 years old and we want to replace it on our terms, not its (please note the correct word to indicate gender-neutrality) terms.

Speaking of something being gender-neutral, Shame would end up that way should he 1 attempt to place me in a headlock. Shame -- should we ever meet (very, very unlikely) please do not attempt any sort of combat. Believe this if you value your life: I taught it in the Army. If I am pushed into unarmed combat you will die.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,#
Date: 21 Mar 15 - 12:50 PM

The last post was a prime number too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 15 - 12:42 PM

But not when you use it as a general or common noun: "I visited my aunt, Dora."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 15 - 10:45 AM

If you use it as her name like "Aunt Dora."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Mar 15 - 10:30 AM

Suit and tie put away. By the looks of some of my relatives (Mum's side), it won't be there all that long. Uncle Reg was a nice guy. Joined the navy before high school graduation and sailed the day after. I had a sniffle when I hugged aunt* Dora but, when the vets honour guard played taps it was tissue time. Same for others.

* Should that be an upper case "a"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 15 - 10:04 AM

Shane's been eavesdropping on the fifth graders at recess again, looking for role models.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind Drunk in Blind River
Date: 21 Mar 15 - 01:44 AM

All I gotta do is put a headlock on you, man, and you are DONE! This is how I spread fear and get respeckt when I am in jail, eh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 07:46 PM

Wow! # is copping primes left and right and right and left and up and down and front and back. He, she, or it is one prime person!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,#
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 06:37 PM

Post 52021--another prime.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 06:06 PM

And if you don't use them the muscles of the mind become rock hard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 02:20 PM

Actually, what Rapparree meant to say is Póg mo thóin, which is Irish Gaelic for "Kiss my royal Irish arse".

He is wrong about books. Books build all kinds of muscles in the fingertips and wrists and shoulders.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 01:27 PM

Dear Shame,

Pogue mahon, acushla machree.

Sincerely yours,
Rapparee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 12:29 PM

That is the stoopidest thing I ever hearn. You must of fell on yer head after you was born! How the flip did you ever become a Liberrian? It takes branes to run a liberry, eh? And I can see that you ain't got none.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 15 - 08:54 AM

Books are the opium of the elite. They lead to a life of crime:

Books contain knowledge.
Knowledge is power.
Power corrupts.
Corruption is a crime.
QED: Books cause crime.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 09:00 PM

Books, Amos?

How very, very, quaint.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 06:16 PM

There ain't nothing in the world like a book, ole girl,
To make you act real dozy,make you feel so cozy,
Make your mind run loose, like a long-necked goose,
Like a book! Oh, baby, thassa what I like!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 03:35 PM

Have fun, SRS. See ya when ya get back... if ya do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 02:43 PM

Whoa. I need to stop all of this Internet shit and sit down to read some books. Yesterday I picked up a book from the ILL desk and they are only letting me keep it until April 3.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 12:12 PM

BWL... man you don't get around!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 12:03 PM

Rap, you will not escape. The last time I was in the Salt Lake City airport was in 2000, and I'm still there. And the last time I was in Chicago O'Hare was in 1980, and I'm still there too. Furthermore, I've never even been inside Tampa International, only driven past it many times, and I'm still there also. Next time I'm down that way, I plan on meeting myself. I also suspect I'm in Sea-Tac, having driven past it as well, but I don't plan on going back to Seattle any time soon to find out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,#
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 10:02 AM

This is post 52009 which is a prime number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 15 - 09:47 AM

I'm in SLC. Pray for me that I may escape!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Mar 15 - 05:43 PM

Houma! RJ and J Paul will be on tonight on my favourite TV show! Thanks for reminding me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Mar 15 - 04:17 PM

IF you are going to go looking for virgins in Louisiana you certainly need a sense of Houma.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Mar 15 - 02:17 PM

I have deja-neige. Started shoveling AGAIN an hour ago and gave up. It's just drifting back in... over and over and over and...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Mar 15 - 02:08 PM

It feels like deja-vu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Mar 15 - 01:38 AM

FIFTY TWO KAY! I mean, come on, youse guys! Doncha know this is EPIC? There has never been anything like in the history of The Mudcat Café! Fifty-two THOUSAND posts in one single thread!! Are you KIDDIN'?? This is a BIG elfin' deal!!

Thanks to all of Little Hawk's imaginary entities and his profligate fingers for contributing such a fine measure of output to our world-record-shatering total! Thanks to BWL for returning to the halls of Mom, and to steadfast Stilly and Reliable Rappp for their countless contributions. God bless us one and all, the children of MOAB. ANd thanks to Gluon the Duckdog for edging us past the finite bounds of all credibility.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 09:55 PM

Have fun at Duffy's Chongo, but stay away from O'Leary's. They have a new cook from someplace in Africa and he hates corned beef and cabbage. Says it'd taste a lot better with bush meat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 09:32 PM

Going home tomorrow. Walked my poor legs down to stumps today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 07:21 PM

52000!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 07:21 PM

It's so close - what the heck . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 06:59 PM

It's Saint Paddy's Day! HOO-HAH!!!!!!! I am gonna get drunker than a boiled owl tonight! Just about to head out to Duffy's Bar and get together with my primate buddies there. Renata is outta town for a few days on a lawyer job. Probably a good thing.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 01:39 PM

Happy St. Patrick's Day!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 01:34 PM

I had one of those but the wheels fell off.

I once had a marriage like that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 11:56 AM

Shame McBride would know what it meant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 11:13 AM

I had one of those but the wheels fell off.


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