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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 22 Mar 06 - 09:06 AM
Rapparee 22 Mar 06 - 08:43 AM
MMario 22 Mar 06 - 08:40 AM
Rapparee 22 Mar 06 - 08:34 AM
Rapparee 21 Mar 06 - 10:45 PM
Amos 21 Mar 06 - 05:21 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 06 - 05:09 PM
MMario 21 Mar 06 - 04:29 PM
Acme 21 Mar 06 - 04:27 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 06 - 02:52 PM
Amos 21 Mar 06 - 01:10 PM
Acme 21 Mar 06 - 12:20 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 06 - 11:16 AM
Amos 21 Mar 06 - 11:15 AM
MMario 21 Mar 06 - 10:42 AM
Acme 20 Mar 06 - 10:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Mar 06 - 09:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Mar 06 - 09:40 PM
Rapparee 20 Mar 06 - 09:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Mar 06 - 06:57 PM
Acme 20 Mar 06 - 06:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Mar 06 - 06:31 PM
Rapparee 20 Mar 06 - 05:57 PM
Amos 20 Mar 06 - 04:50 PM
Rapparee 20 Mar 06 - 04:12 PM
Acme 20 Mar 06 - 03:34 PM
Rapparee 20 Mar 06 - 02:15 PM
MMario 20 Mar 06 - 01:57 PM
Amos 20 Mar 06 - 01:54 PM
Rapparee 20 Mar 06 - 01:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Mar 06 - 01:05 PM
Amos 20 Mar 06 - 12:46 PM
Rapparee 20 Mar 06 - 12:27 PM
Amos 20 Mar 06 - 09:45 AM
Rapparee 20 Mar 06 - 09:02 AM
Acme 19 Mar 06 - 11:54 PM
Rapparee 19 Mar 06 - 02:27 PM
Rapparee 19 Mar 06 - 02:16 PM
Acme 19 Mar 06 - 11:22 AM
Acme 19 Mar 06 - 11:20 AM
Acme 19 Mar 06 - 11:19 AM
Acme 19 Mar 06 - 11:18 AM
Amos 19 Mar 06 - 01:24 AM
Acme 19 Mar 06 - 01:22 AM
Rapparee 18 Mar 06 - 10:58 PM
Acme 18 Mar 06 - 08:22 PM
Rapparee 18 Mar 06 - 06:22 PM
Acme 18 Mar 06 - 04:35 PM
Rapparee 18 Mar 06 - 04:23 PM
Acme 18 Mar 06 - 03:21 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 09:06 AM

Sing a song of sick pensee
Pockets fuller -- why?
Foreign tent, oobleck birds,
Bakelite apply!
Wonder Tivas open,
Dauber Zbignew sing!
Whizzing daughter, special dish,
Two pits before aching!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 08:43 AM

Yeah, and if Mom didn't get so roaring drunk in her suite every night there wouldn't be any bottles to trip over! And I'm not even mentioning the men's thongs whirling around on the ceiling fan or the...no, you're too young.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 08:40 AM

If you weren't always sneaking into Mom's bedroom you wouldn't be tripping over the bottles.

Sometimes you're just , y'know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 08:34 AM

Good Morning, Mom! I see that I tucked you into bed last night after your glass of warm milk and I'm the first to awaken you to the glories of a new day with this nice cup of tea.

MOM! I've told you and told you to put your empty whiskey bottles in the wastebasket! I nearly broke my neck when I stepped on that one!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 10:45 PM

Then I'll take it to the Fourier's shop and have it cleaned so that it will Blase again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 05:21 PM

The longer you forebear the fourier the colon. Nothing worse than watching someone's colon get Fourier, gradually transforming until one is left all Dewey with regret. Hairy situation.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 05:09 PM

That's why I'm forebearing -- about those AND the not-so-obvious one abour Fourier Transformations.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 04:29 PM

I feel so stupid - I don't get the obvious puns.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 04:27 PM

Ah, go ahead. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 02:52 PM

I will avoid making the OBVIOUS puns upon Liebnitz and Blase Pascal!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 01:10 PM

This calls for a new series of Lorentz-Fitzgerald experiments to determine the speed of enlightenment through the eth-or. Unless you feel they Kant.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 12:20 PM

Well, you could be out with the hoy poloy talking about the universe in lava lamps and burning down the outhouse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 11:16 AM

Those scholars are divided in their opinion -- they're eth-er/or.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 11:15 AM

My gawd, you turn around just for a few minutes, and next thing you know the place is full of strange characters with questionable backgrounds and ulterior motives. This place is becoming a real bar sinister in its own right!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Mar 06 - 10:42 AM

and the reason there is a bar across the 'eth'? Scholars will tell you (after swearing you to secrecy) that the bar is to keep things from leaking out of the 'eth'hole.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 10:18 PM

That lumpy L has a P plumbed to it and isn't a very good thorn--that's a typesetter's answer to a thorn, I'll bet. A thorn was drawn different than that but evolved into the Y shaped thing (and gets abused in the mispronunciation of the form as it appears in things like "Ye (Thorn + e) Old Candle Shoppe.") The fact that there are only four examples of a "thorn" on that Google page just means that most of the people who put this stuff on the Internet are idiots and should know better.

You did the best you could, BWL.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 09:50 PM

By the way, I have discovered the answer to the classic Zen koan "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

The sound of one hand clapping is a potato.

Still workin' on that hubless wheel one, but I think the answer has something to do with either walnuts or broccoli.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 09:40 PM

Hah! If you, my dear Rapaire, would take the time to read a few of those books in that "" class instead of merely cataloging them, you would know that concepts like time and space or cause and effect are mere illusions. Therefore, it is perfectly possible for not only Oral Roberts, but Oral Roberts' grandchildren, to have contributed financially to the development of the Colon Classification System.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 09:24 PM

Shiyali Ramamrita Ranganathan was born in 1892 in India. Oral Roberts was born in 1918 in Oklahoma. Shiyali Ramamrita Ranganathan created Colon Classification in 1933, when Oral Roberts was a mere lad of 15. At 15 Oral Roberts was still in High School and probably sinning and drinking likker and chasing women. Thus, I don't think Oral Roberts did it. Billy Sunday or Aimee Semple McPherson maybe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 06:57 PM

By the way, when I said "Most people don't even know that the "" character exists, much less what it is called....", I was not referring to any MOABites. Being a group largely comprised of English majors who paid careful attention in our History and Structure of the English Language courses (instead of sleeping through them like our less motivated classmates), we know that the "" symbol is called an "eth" and represents the "soft 'th'" sound as in "them". We also know that the "hard 'th'" sound as in "think" is, of course, represented by the "" called a "thorn". We know a lot of other useless shit as well as evidenced by the fact that this thread is over 11,000 posts long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 06:38 PM

D

Close


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 06:31 PM

So, under the Colon Classification System the class "religion" is indicated by the letter "Q" while the class "spirituality and mysticism" is indicated by "". Most people don't even know that the "" character exists, much less what it is called or how to get it to print or display. This represents an obvious ploy on the part of organized religion to make it difficult for libraries to catalog books whose spiritual message is anything other than that espoused by the major religions! I'll bet money that Oral Roberts contributed money to help underwrite the development of the Colon Classification System!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 05:57 PM

I have been sworn to secrecy by the Cataloging Inquisitors Of ALA never to reveal even the little I will now share. I do this with the full understanding that I will be shamed before the Membership if I am not actually burnt at the stake, with the executioners using back copies of DDC tables in lieu of the usual bundles of faggots. But I'll take that chance, especially since as a Director I can fire their butts.

See here for more than you've ever wanted to know about Colon Classification (which is quite different from colon calcification).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 04:50 PM

Classification by colon? Is that what they call Colonology? I am sure Rapaire is a the , um, head of his class.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 04:12 PM

Opium (pharmacology): 615.32335 in DDC22.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 03:34 PM

How much of that pain medication have you taken today?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 02:15 PM

A good cataloger can catalog and classify ANYTHING!!! Colons, amputated limbs, books, Power Rangers, empty Coca-Cola bottle, recipes, smoke signals, stained glass windows, LP recordings, you name it and we can classify it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 01:57 PM

I'm sure that colon classification is classification BY colon rather then OF colons. See, he digests the content in order to classify them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 01:54 PM

You classify COLONS? I thought librarians classified books an' stuff. What IS the world coming to? How did you get into colon classification, then? And how do you KNOW they are "pure" -- optical fiber?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 01:12 PM

C'mon buddy, ask me. Ask me about the structure of knowledge. C'mon. I date ya. Ask me why Colon Classification is/was the only "pure" classification scheme, as opposed to "impure" schemes like DDC, UDC, LC, or Expansive. C'mon, I dare ya.

Yeah, I thought not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 01:05 PM

If Rapaire's knowlege of knowledge is encyclopedic, does that imply the existence of an encylopedia in which Rapaire's knowledge of knowledge is contained? And what of Rapaire's knowledge of that particular encyclopedia?

And what is the sound of the back cover of the OED closing if the front cover and all the pages are removed?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 12:46 PM

Right. A professional knows. Which is why your nose can't be int he Olympics. THey don't admit professional knowses.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 12:27 PM

Ahem. The South Bend Tribune once said that my "knowledge of knowledge was encyclopedic." (I have the clipping if you doubt me.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 09:45 AM

...because as everyone knows, Rapaire is one who nose professionally.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 06 - 09:02 AM

I stayed in all weekend and put up moldings on the walls. I really like this place, but why previous owners did such a half-assed job of different things is beyond me. Like the small kitchen -- the carpet was coved all around EXCEPT by the outside door, where I just installed baseboard molding. 30-some inches of molding to finish it off!

In ten days or two weeks the electricians are coming to install new lights. The current ones are not only inadequate, but energy inefficient.

I use nasal spray, both saline and the kind with steroids. I have the biggest and strongest nose on the block, but it can't be in the Olympics.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 11:54 PM

Ah, good ol' Rapaire, never so sick that he can't come up with a heart-warming shaggy dog story.

I made a pot of chicken stock and souped it up for dinner tonight. It tasted marvelous, and I made sure to leave a little chicken grease in it--that seems to be part of the "Jewish penicillin" of the soup. I can feel a tickle still, so will take some cough stuff tonight, but I think I can pass on the narcotics. I hope. It's coming on two weeks now of this stupid virus.

I should have used my neti pot more and sooner and maybe the sinus infection wouldn't have taken off like it did. You might want to use one, Rap.

Meanwhile, it's raining in Texas. It seems to be making up for the long drought over the winter. Inches and inches fell today. And out in the middle of it were my two dopey dogs, catching a native lizard AGAIN--this is the second time for this guy. They had him last week and he was playing dead, but I caught a look in his eye that said if I let him go he'd eventually move along. Idiot lizard moved into the same pile of rocks again. I saw Poppy out in the rain tossing and poking something, and dashed out to rescue my little friend. This time I BUILT him a new rock house closer to the fence where the dogs can't go because their collars will zap them. I have to move all of those rocks, and may have to do it sooner rather than later to save any wildlife at all that wants to remain in a yard with two big pups.

That's my good deed for the day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 02:27 PM

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5 year old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time...

A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever
deliver the fucking sheet rock..."

Kind of brings a tear to the eye.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 02:16 PM

I made chicken-vegetable-barley soup yesterday. A LOT of it; we'll have it for lunch today, too. Vegetable stock with a bunch of deboned and deskinned chicken thighs cut into cubes. Then some of every vegetable we had in the house except potatoes. Right now I'm drinking Earl Gey with lemon and honey. I'm still a bit out of it from the hydrocodone last night, but I did sleep better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 11:22 AM

Oh, yeah. Same for just a couple of hundred posts back. Wooses. Not willing to risk it by actually scanning the page, just give a standard "folk" template.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 11:20 AM

Page 7 is the same. I think Google is playing it safe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 11:19 AM

Page 129 comes up with "The Essential Chieftains" and "Download Danny Boy."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 11:18 AM

Mom, I'm feeling much better today. I can make my own chicken soup.

It would be astonishing if Google scanned the entire thread. Best we could do is "drop the needle" into the mix and see what turns up on a given page.

Hmmmmm


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 01:24 AM

Scan the ENTIRE thread? What on earth would they select?? Mother's Day Cards, I guess...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Mar 06 - 01:22 AM

I can understand that choice.

I have a recliner for times like this. Sleeping propped up is no fun, but if it makes the difference between lying down and coughing or sitting up and sleeping, it's worth it.

I forgot to mention the 12-hour decongestant (Duratuss) and the Allegra that are part of this regimen--it's allergy season now. The Tessalon capsules (called "pearls") are called generically Benzonatate (both are given in 200mg capsules) and they help diminish the power of the tickle. It may be why I can get away with the T-3 instead of the heavier stuff. You're supposed to be careful not to bite or chew these capsules or you're restricted from eating or drinking for several hours because they paralyse some throat muscles. (I get the impression that they disolve in your stomach and the fumes work upward or something. ??

Mom had better put a big pot of chicken soup on. The heavy duty kind that Martha Stewart makes, where she puts two chickens in the pot, takes one out after about 40 minutes and debones it and cuts it up to add to the stock. After a couple of hours all of the solids (including the second chicken) are removed from the stock and thrown away. The first chicken is added back as are some veggies. Mmmmm!

The Google ads at the bottom have to do with sinus infections and coughs. I guess they picked upon the topic of the moment and aren't scanning the entire thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 10:58 PM

I don't like taking drugs, especially narcotics. I have too much to do with my life to spend time spaced out. Which is why I will take the hydrocodone before bed. Last night the T3 didn't do it; I spent much time awake coughing, coughing to the point where Pat offered to take me to the Emergency Room. But I'll do what I need to so that I can get some rest. (The hydrocodone is left over from recent oral surgery. And I will NOT take more than 500 mg. I once had the 750 mg capsules and I was wiped out for two days.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 08:22 PM

I passed on the hydrocodone. That's heavy duty, more than was called for with a cold. I have some left from after my bunion surgery, and even then I only took it a couple of times. You want to be alert enough to be able to tell if you're still sick or if you're getting better. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 06:22 PM

Lessee...hyrdrocodone tonight at bedtime, T3 now, Rhinocort, saline nasal spray, Amoxicillin (1,000 mg 2 x day), Atrovent.... Now, a good old stiff bourbon or scotch and my CNS will be so depressed...but then I could just take Paxil or one of those things. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 04:35 PM

I had a cocktail that worked, more or less, with motrin for pain, tessalon (sp?) pearls for the cough, and at bedtime, tylenol-3 to further supress the cough and help me sleep. An expectorant (bought in the gallon economy size at Walmart, one of the few reasons I'll go to that store) helped, and in the last few days, the amoxil.

Don't plan to go to participate in any international sporting competitions any time soon (curling, perhaps?), you won't pass the blood test.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 04:23 PM

Yeah.

...I feel like I'm dyin'
and I wish I was dead
If I live till tomorrow, that'd be a long time
For I rise and I fall and I'll die on codine...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Mar 06 - 03:21 PM

The sinus thing is obviously effecting my ability to read. Like Bruce, I don't have squat, but the woman who left my library must have instead gone to Idaho. Glad I caught that.

Gargling with warm salt water is good for you, but it didn't help. Drugs that knock you out are what help.


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