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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 17 Apr 05 - 06:01 AM
GUEST,Chuckles 17 Apr 05 - 01:17 AM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 16 Apr 05 - 10:24 PM
Rapparee 16 Apr 05 - 09:47 PM
Amos 16 Apr 05 - 09:44 PM
Rapparee 16 Apr 05 - 08:24 PM
Acme 16 Apr 05 - 08:07 PM
GUEST 16 Apr 05 - 10:28 AM
GUEST,Chuckles 16 Apr 05 - 10:08 AM
Amos 16 Apr 05 - 09:28 AM
Rustic Rebel 16 Apr 05 - 03:31 AM
Rapparee 15 Apr 05 - 09:47 PM
Acme 15 Apr 05 - 08:13 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 05 - 03:45 PM
Amos 15 Apr 05 - 12:14 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 05 - 12:05 PM
Acme 15 Apr 05 - 11:37 AM
GUEST,MMario 15 Apr 05 - 11:23 AM
Amos 15 Apr 05 - 11:08 AM
Rapparee 15 Apr 05 - 09:18 AM
michaelr 15 Apr 05 - 12:58 AM
Bunnahabhain 14 Apr 05 - 07:54 PM
Amos 14 Apr 05 - 05:11 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 05 - 04:33 PM
Acme 14 Apr 05 - 04:23 PM
Amos 14 Apr 05 - 01:01 PM
GUEST,MMario 14 Apr 05 - 11:03 AM
Bunnahabhain 14 Apr 05 - 10:38 AM
Acme 14 Apr 05 - 10:37 AM
Bunnahabhain 14 Apr 05 - 10:33 AM
Bunnahabhain 14 Apr 05 - 09:23 AM
Rapparee 14 Apr 05 - 09:12 AM
GUEST 14 Apr 05 - 04:05 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Apr 05 - 10:56 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 05 - 10:07 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 05 - 09:55 PM
Acme 13 Apr 05 - 09:27 PM
Acme 13 Apr 05 - 09:26 PM
Acme 13 Apr 05 - 09:25 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 05 - 09:17 PM
Amos 13 Apr 05 - 08:52 PM
Acme 13 Apr 05 - 08:22 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 05 - 03:57 PM
Amos 13 Apr 05 - 03:39 PM
Teresa 13 Apr 05 - 03:37 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 05 - 03:30 PM
Amos 13 Apr 05 - 03:08 PM
Acme 13 Apr 05 - 02:57 PM
Teresa 13 Apr 05 - 02:39 PM
rumanci 13 Apr 05 - 02:09 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 05 - 06:01 AM

Say, man -- Chuck, baby -- you got, um, like diplomatic priveleges?? Ya know, where they won't look at your stuff? BeeDubya fergot to ask.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chuckles
Date: 17 Apr 05 - 01:17 AM

Woof woof! Sirius is easy! Sirius isn't serious.

Leave your package in the dumpster at the corner of Seventh Avenue and 14th Street in Manhattan, over by the smoke shop. My pal Jimmy will pick it up for the ship.

Chuckles


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 10:24 PM

Yo! Chuckles! I have a package for a Mr.Zimfmanduur on the third planet from the star we earth folks call Sirius. Is that on your way to wherever you're going? Could you drop it off for me? It'd save about $37,348,974.50 in postage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 09:47 PM

I ain't a-citin' anymore.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 09:44 PM

Look at it as a spare Status Slot, Rapaire -- if the Mudcat goes down permanently, so you can't pull MOAB rank or be "Big Rapaire the Ineffable and All-Citing", you have another "important" identity to fall back on!!

Hey, better than having only hardscrabble denim identities, and it beats working for a living! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 08:24 PM

Tomorrow I must fly to Boise. I have a meeting there on Monday. I will fly home on Monday and be home in time for dinner. Usually I don't fly to Boise. Usually I don't fly anywhere. Usually I get in the car and drive. Thursday I drove to Idaho Falls. Usually I just drive to work and then back home. I used to drive a lot more than I do now. I used to drive for an hour each way to and from work. That was usually boring, but sometimes there were blizzards and then it got exciting. Once I even had an accident; that was REALLY exciting. But tomorrow I fly to Boise. I will rent a car at the Boise Airport, because I sure as hell don't want to be in Boise without wheels. Actually, I don't want to go to this meeting at all. But I will, because I have an overly developed sense of responsibility. And I am, much to my dismay, the Chair of the Idaho Library Association Conference, which will be held here in October. This is not one of my favorite things to do. Actually, my favorite thing would be for people to give me lots of money, regularily, just because I add so much to everyone's life simply by existing. But tomorrow I must fly to Boise.

Damn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 08:07 PM

Chuckles's Spaceship


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 10:28 AM

Wa to go, Chucklehead. You figgered the puzzle out and are taking the only really decent course of action. I applaud your integrity.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chuckles
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 10:08 AM

I'm outa here. You are so screwed up I don't see how you put up with yourselves, much less how come Bubba Bubba could.

I went to deecee and looked for the Bee-Dubya-Ell. I thought that itshehe would most likely be in a building called "The National Air And Space Museum" because it seemed large enough to contain such a thing but the creature was not there (Bubba Bubba used to say, "Size COUNTS!"). I looked at a thing called "The Washington Monument" for the same reason, assuming that the Bee-Dubya-Ell was attempting to hide underground, but sheithe wasn't there, either.

I did not get the Bee-Dubya-Ell. I did collect several pellets of a copper-lead mixture, which were forced beneath my integument by a forceful expansion of gases. While these tickled, I did have to stop protein-based creatures from used explosives upon me. Not that such would damage me, but others might be hurt.

Once you start on protein-based creatures it's very hard to stop. I have gained several additional levels of potential energy during my visit to deecee.

But what has prompted my decision to leave is not the additional mass I gained in deecee, but the realization that all of you produce more of what is called "BS" than any other group of semi- and pseudo- sentient creatures in the Universe. Not the galaxy, the Universe. You are drowning it, it is and has been well over your breathing orifices, and yet you seem unaware of it. And you keep it from becoming useful compost by rushing around.

Forget it. If the Bee-Dubya-Ell is in our neighborhood I'll do what is necessary. Bubba Bubba would understand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 09:28 AM

I t was unmistakable, RR. Absolutely!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 16 Apr 05 - 03:31 AM

Fire is still burning, yet I am compelled to sit upon a naked journey with one sock on
It may still be that way, or it may be that my pants have only gone as far as my knees, ,
And I was left here to try and please..
The masses of the insane and the bullshitters of the inane.
please reconsider a subjective for-thought, for-skin, for-gratuity, fore-generation, fore-recreation, fore sought, not forgot seldom heard of thought.

My pants lay around my knees and I feel so confined I cannnot hardly tell you what it really feels like, HA! except that I feel confined.
I tossed a lost soul from my van tonight without a thought of making him walk 10 miles in the dark. Shouldn't fuck with gratuity.
I suddenly like the sound of tossed gratuity. makes me all shivery and inconsistant with the way I really am, but it is,what it was and I ain't going to change it now.

By the way, It was a guest that I was on the early morn of the other day singing a naked theme by the fire with one sock on.
Did anyone know my prose or consider it to be a drunken prologue to what was to come?
If you know me , then you knew. If you don't it was a stranger to you.
Ha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 09:47 PM

When my youngest brother was in survival school (courtesy of the USAF) they taught him to make fishing nets. The instructor said, "It's a way to occupy yourself until you're rescued."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 08:13 PM

Gill net?

Gill net?

Gill Net?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 03:45 PM

The following list of items are considered a minimum for the 21st Century outdoorsman. You may wish to add items but don't go out into the field without the minimum. Always dress for the occasion: You want clothing to live in, not to be found dead in.
        Knife: Big enough to do the job safely.
        Matches: Kitchen type in a waterproof container, such as a film canister.
        Plastic Whistle: Short range signaling.
        Signal Mirror: Signaling search aircraft.
        Fire Starter: Make them yourself by rubbing candle wax into patches of cotton.
        Aluminum Foil: 18" x 18" forming a cooking utensil.
        Cordage or String: Securing shelters, setting gill nets and snares.
        Snare Wire: Brass annealed for animal snares and repairs.
        Fish Tackle
        Hooks
        Line
        Sinkers
        Leader and/or 1" Gill Net.
        Map and Compass: Know how to use.
        Plastic Sheet, Rescue Blanket or Large Plastic Leaf Bag.
        Food: High energy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 12:14 PM

I think that is how people driven to transgender operations feel about life, generally, Mag!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 12:05 PM

Linda was/is going from man to woman. Whether or not this involves a change in genetic makeup from XY to XX I really can't say, but it should.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 11:37 AM

Cute. Totally unrelated to the wo/man in the restroom, but cute.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 11:23 AM

?? Which direction did Linda go? if female to male - and done - why doesn't s/he use the MALE restroom?

If the other direction - why keep the beard?

very confused.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 11:08 AM

Well then, he stole the old school tie from one of the girls, probably during a night of frolic and inebriation. Indubitably so. Whether or not to report him at this late date is an ethical quandary left as an exercise for the student.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 09:18 AM

Gender. Okay, a typical problem from work and the sort of thing I don't have to put up with each day.

Linda is in a wheelchair. Linda is "transgender." Linda uses our women's toilet. No problem, except that Linda is finished transgendering -- s/he has a full, bushy, beard and other definitely male characteristics (visible ones -- we haven't checked the other and really don't want to) and we KNOW that there's gonna be a scream and complaint. So we've suggested to Linda that s/he use the "unisex facilities" on the second floor as they are far better suited to chair-bound people (we've suggested the same to other chair-bound folks). Linda goes to visit City Hall, uses the Women's there. City Hall calls the cops.

Ah, the stuff I wasn't taught in Library School!

As for my own gender change -- probably around July or August, 1944.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: michaelr
Date: 15 Apr 05 - 12:58 AM

MOAB was not a Hebrew country, but there was enough food there, so they stayed...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 07:54 PM

I don't think he wanted to change gender before he got into the all Female college...Where would the fun be in that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 05:11 PM

When did you change genders, then? Expiring minds want to know...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 04:33 PM

Ah, but you still haven't explained the reason for the song! (And by the way, I really do have the appropriate Old School Tie.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 04:23 PM

Here is the appropriate institution.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 01:01 PM

Then why do the kids keep pushing her up there?


A

Rapaire you are a Committed Lazy Lifter (CLL). You deserve institutionalization to deal with this deep-seated illness.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 11:03 AM

Call me a prude but there are some things a child of any age really doesn't need to know about their parents - and whether or not Mom prefers to be on top is one of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 10:38 AM

Vstavaitye, lyudi russkiye,
na slavny boi, na smyertny boi;
vstavaitye, lyudi vol'niye
za nashu zyemlyu chestnuya!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 10:37 AM

It took about 2 seconds to land on this, Rap.

The Lords of the Camus
By E.Wilson, 1887

Tune: Bonnie Dundee

To the Lords of the Camus, 'twas Girton who cried,
"You call me a College, but one thing's denied;"
Then let each fusty don feel his duty to be,
That women should speedily get the degree.

Chorus:

Come grant me the B., come grant me the A.;
Come make me your equal without more delay;
Then let each learned maid who loved Pindar or pi,
Let her hasten to Girton that standeth on high.

For Girton has shown us again and again
That her students can equal, nay distance the men;
And Cambridge perplexed says, "I fear it is plain
That we'll have to cave in if she keeps up this strain."

Chorus:

etc.

There are dons beyond Cambridge and brains beyond Caius;
If you've men by the Cam, we have maids by the leas;
And hard-working students full six score and three
Will cry "Justice to Girton; come grant the degree!"

Chorus:

etc.

Then away to the Tripos, Little-Go, Mays;
The plough-share shall never the College debase.
Then tremble, ye dons, in the midst of your glee,
For you've not heard the last of my students and me.

Chorus:

etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 10:33 AM

I was going to make a post just to MOAB on top, but I decided it wasn't needed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 09:23 AM

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born, a time to die,
A time to sow, a time to reap,
And a time to put MOAB on top!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 09:12 AM

I want to see if Amos can find where I swip...er, quoted...that bit of song lyric from. And then he can explain it.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Talk about OBSCURE! Maybe I'll post the whole thing as a "Lyrics Add."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Apr 05 - 04:05 AM

Fire is still burning, yet I am compelled to sit upon a naked journey with one sock on.
Sky is brighter than I remember it , and I see Mars in the horizon, I believe sweat under the breast is a good reason.,
Reason to feel a warmth of a flame,
reason to be an un-explained
reason for a season to be re-named
reason to suck up the explained...
Into a journey that was left for the naked and the insane.
I will no doubt be un-named,...
for this.


I sucked up the smoke and I felt warmed all over, but I kept falling over the sticks.
I did keep the fire going though........


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 10:56 PM

No, Amos, I don't live on the Brazos River. I live in the Bozo's swamp. It's home to several extremely rare species of flora and fauna like the Rubber-nosed Woodpecker, the Bearded Whoopee Cushion, the Red-headed Whatzit and the Giant Snode. It's notable that these species are extremely rare, but not endangered. "Endangered" implies that somebody gives a damn whether or not they're around. In fact, nobody gives a rat's ass whether any of them exist or not and some people think the world would be a much better place if they were all extinct.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 10:07 PM

Then away to the Tripos, Little-Go, Mays;
The plough-share shall never the College debase.
Then tremble, ye dons, in the midst of your glee,
For you've not heard the last of my students and me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 09:55 PM

7301.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 09:27 PM

7300


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 09:26 PM

In a totally unrelated thought, Robert Service once wrote

Just Think!

Just think! some night the stars will gleam
   Upon a cold, grey stone,
And trace a name with silver beam,
   And lo! 'twill be your own.

This night is speeding on to greet
   Your epitaphic rhyme.
You life is but a little beat
   Within the heart of Time.

A little gain, a little pain,
   A laugh, lest you may moan;
A little blame, a little flame,
   A star-gleam on a stone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 09:25 PM

Bah!

I reject binaries! Black and white, for example, has tons of shades of gray.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 09:17 PM

I also exist with no past (for instance, the verb "named"), or present (e.g., "naming",) or future ("will name"). The Past, The Present, and The Future are all one to me, each meaningless in itself except in relation to each other. For how can there be a Present if there has been no Past and will be no Future? Thus any tense will work with any verb to convey the message. The Truly Enlightened will understand and The Great Unwashed will not. In similar wise Good cannot exist without Evil, Age without Youth, or Joy without Sorrow, for each dichotomous set defines the other members of the set.

Nothing, of course, could be further or closer to the Truth and so Truth is Nothing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 08:52 PM

Perhaps he means the three Gerbils -- see no wheel, hear no wheel, speak no wheel. I think they are Zen Buddhists.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 08:22 PM

nor capable, at the moment, of named the three verbals.

Huh?

Rapaire may not be guilty or innocent, but he is confused. Or I am. Perhaps we both are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 03:57 PM

I myself am neither guilty nor innocent. I inhabit a middle ground, a moral landscape composed of shades of gray (or grey, if you prefer). Like everyone, I am neither good nor bad, neither selfish nor sharing, neither a saint nor a sinner, neither giving nor taking, neither reaping nor sewing, neither old nor young, neither stumbling along in the dark nor striding forward in the light, neither flat nor sharp, neither totally conversant with the "neither-nor" construction nor capable, at the moment, of named the three verbals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 03:39 PM

You may have meant "other than wise", Rapaire. And it is also true you are otherwise than most people -- at least, most normal ones. But you can't prove it. Me, I was born guilty and have been trying to prove it ever since.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 03:37 PM

Who, ol' bill? The horse enthusiast? Him? Heh. He's rather harmless, and anyway, I prefer Leonard and his character, spock.

Ohhhhhhh Rapaire. You got me with that blow. And not only sighted, but cited, too.

teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 03:30 PM

Since Teresa has returned...could we say that she no longer needs a white cane because she has, so to speak, been sighted?

(No, not sorry at all. Nope. Nope. Nope.)

And while all are guilty until proven otherwise, I'm otherwise. So everyone else must be guilty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 03:08 PM

Dang...another grand speculation run hard aground on the reef of fact! Well, it sounded good, as the navigator said to the angry Captain afterwards.   

Anyway, I don't think hurricanes are white, and I have never seen a white cane hurrying much -- the navigation system is based on lower throughput, largely around 1400 feet per second rather than the 186,000 miles per second that is suffered by the sighted.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 02:57 PM

Up-pun my word-- I live near the Brazos, and it's still here in Texas, so unless it has been hijacked, Bee Dubya Ell lives on some other river.

(Teresa, great to see you back, but don't say that S-name any more or Little Hawk will deluge us with questions as he tries to get the full story out of you).

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Teresa
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 02:39 PM

Well, I'm gonna solve this mystery of the white cane. Meanwhile, you're all guilty until proven otherwise. So I had to come back. ;)

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 02:09 PM

oh do be cirrus Mmario or a whole load of accumulus will con front us all


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