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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 26 Oct 04 - 04:32 PM
Amos 26 Oct 04 - 01:26 PM
MMario 26 Oct 04 - 01:25 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 04 - 01:21 PM
MMario 26 Oct 04 - 01:18 PM
Acme 26 Oct 04 - 01:07 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 04 - 09:41 AM
Amos 25 Oct 04 - 09:33 PM
Rustic Rebel 25 Oct 04 - 09:26 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 04 - 06:38 PM
Amos 25 Oct 04 - 06:10 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 04 - 04:01 PM
Amos 25 Oct 04 - 12:17 PM
Amos 25 Oct 04 - 11:57 AM
Acme 25 Oct 04 - 11:02 AM
Rapparee 25 Oct 04 - 10:53 AM
Rapparee 25 Oct 04 - 08:37 AM
Amos 24 Oct 04 - 10:06 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 04 - 09:59 PM
Amos 24 Oct 04 - 06:57 PM
Acme 24 Oct 04 - 01:40 PM
Amos 23 Oct 04 - 11:24 PM
Acme 23 Oct 04 - 10:18 PM
Rapparee 23 Oct 04 - 09:33 PM
Amos 23 Oct 04 - 09:22 AM
Rapparee 23 Oct 04 - 09:00 AM
Acme 23 Oct 04 - 02:23 AM
Acme 22 Oct 04 - 10:42 AM
Tweed 22 Oct 04 - 08:16 AM
Rustic Rebel 22 Oct 04 - 12:58 AM
Rapparee 21 Oct 04 - 09:17 AM
Rapparee 21 Oct 04 - 09:05 AM
Acme 20 Oct 04 - 08:27 PM
Amos 20 Oct 04 - 08:05 PM
Amos 20 Oct 04 - 07:03 PM
GUEST,The Magenta Maggot 20 Oct 04 - 06:43 PM
Rapparee 20 Oct 04 - 06:37 PM
Amos 20 Oct 04 - 03:47 PM
GUEST,MMario 20 Oct 04 - 03:30 PM
Rapparee 20 Oct 04 - 03:23 PM
Amos 20 Oct 04 - 02:41 PM
Rapparee 20 Oct 04 - 12:57 PM
Acme 20 Oct 04 - 12:12 PM
Acme 20 Oct 04 - 12:11 PM
Acme 20 Oct 04 - 12:10 PM
Acme 20 Oct 04 - 12:09 PM
Acme 20 Oct 04 - 12:09 PM
Acme 20 Oct 04 - 12:03 PM
Amos 20 Oct 04 - 11:41 AM
Rapparee 20 Oct 04 - 11:27 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 04:32 PM

It's 10% of the posts needed.

And MMario asks, "Needed for what?"

Do little girls and butterflies, flowers and music, need a reason? Why can we not grasp the gestalt, the Zeitgeist of existence? Why must something always be "for" something?

In his wonderful book Daniel, Martin Buber has Daniel speaks (in "The Dialogue Above The City", I believe) of The Whirlpool and of Mankind structuring The Whirlpool out of existence instead of simply accepting The Whirlpool and learning from it.

"I AM," says the Universe, and Man replies, "Ah, but I have information!"

It's 10% of the number of posts needed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 01:26 PM

"Go Directly to Jail" is a card you draw from a pile, not a space.

But whatever you do, vote for Kerry.

Then you might be able to get out of jail free!! :D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 01:25 PM

?? needed for what?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 01:21 PM

5,000 is a magical goal, as it it exactly 10% of the number of posts needed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 01:18 PM

Is it true that post 5000 is actually a "GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL" space?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 01:07 PM

I'm not going to fall all over myself trying to land on 5,000 mind you--if it lands in the middle of the night one of our Oz folks might nab it. On the other hand, there is a lot of really good poetry in the world to review just about now. . . :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 04 - 09:41 AM

Yeah, that Idaho State University homecoming parade (or "poo-rade" in Pogo-ese) was a killer, but we won through.

Slept all Saturday afternoon, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 04 - 09:33 PM

YAYYYYYYYYYYY LIBRARY!!!!



RR:

No, the 5K post was dibsed by SRS, I think. I claimed and got an earlier milestone -- maybe 2K or something.

Love,



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 25 Oct 04 - 09:26 PM

Rapaire, You have me swooning.

Amos, I thought you would be getting your pen in hand for your major post of the Mother. Didn't you have dibbs?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 04 - 06:38 PM

We did it.

We still don't know how we came through. Two miles of drumming, screams, appeasing animal appetites. An insatiable meat grinder, a modern Somme offensive, a Bataan Death March, a Bridge over the River Kwai. But we came through. Eight started and eight finished, eight heroes, cheered on at the end the very savages who had screamed at us when they recognized our fortitude and courage.

We took The Hill. In spite of tigers, in spite of the mobs, we took The Hill. Our vehicles performed flawlessly, until, at the very end, when they were being loaded for transport back to the starting point, a wheel fell off on of the book trucks.

In spite of cold, wet, and two miles of city streets; in spite of children and adults screaming for candy, in spite of a good part of the parade route being uphill, we won through.

We won through. We tossed away about ten pounds of cheap candy, did book truck drills, and people yelled, "Hey! It's the LIBRARY! YAY, LIBRARY!" Overall, it was pretty darned gratifying.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 04 - 06:10 PM

Burning Man?....The Democratic National Convention?...A Librarian Rally?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 04 - 04:01 PM

Finally, everyone in the assault force had gathered. The drizzle had turned to a sleety curtain when the "Move Out!" order came.

We wanted to move out, we'd been impatient to move out. Anything to get moving, to get warm again. When a gap developed in the ranks ahead we grabbed the chance to fill it.

Then, all too soon, we were Over The Top and on our way.

"This is unreal," muttered Kath Ann. "Look at those savages on either side of the road. God help us if our vehicles break down or we run out of...you know."

And still the drums and shouts. Pounding, pounding in the chill air, beating a mind-numbing tattoo until madness seemed the only escape and we all grew to envy Lucinda.

(More to come)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 04 - 12:17 PM

Only 69 more to go, SRS -- start sharpening your pen so you know what you want to say...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 04 - 11:57 AM

What -- you went to a political rally?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Oct 04 - 11:02 AM

Mudcat lurker sits back and sighs contentedly

Always good quality BS on this thread! So many possibilities and such manifest collegiality.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 04 - 10:53 AM

Now I can tell the tale. It is not for the fainthearted, and ladies reading this might wish to have a couch nearby upon which to swoon. Indeed, a tot of good brandy might not be amiss.

Saturday last eight of us gathered in a cold, breezy drizzle, the leaden sky promising more and heavier rain as the day progressed. But with our flag at our head we defied the weather and forged ahead on our journey. Kath Ann was the last, and I, as leader, waited for her to rejoin the group.

There was safety in numbers. We were then and continued to be surrounded by chanting, yelling savages. Even in the assembly area we were never free of their incessant screams. And the drumming. The never-ending, eternal drumming. Lucinda went mad even before we started.

Poor Lucinda. Screaming "No more! Please, please, please, no more!" she broke away from the safety of the group and fled into the wilds.

Kathy started after her, but I grabbed her arm and said, "Let her go. There's no sense in losing both of you." And she stopped, tears streaming down her face. "She was like a sister to me," she whispered. "I never thought she'd be the first to crack."

And the drumming and the screaming still did not end.


(to be continued, maybe)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 04 - 08:37 AM

Sometimes the neurons controling my finger fire before the neurons controling my brain do.

("Neuron" hasn't been used before, either. I think.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 04 - 10:06 PM

An excellent list. If by "grundge" you mean the state of being covered with unclean things
it has no "d" in it.

On the other hand, neither does Anabaptist!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 04 - 09:59 PM

I don't remember seeing the word "Chugwater" used in this thread. Or any of these words:

splice
Anabaptist
imprimatur
obverse
titular
grundge
peristalsis
maidenhead
ell
surfeit
dogfight
reckoning
whistle.

Mind you, this list is from memory and I could be wrong. But for a good time, try using all of the words on this list in a coherent sentence -- the same coherent sentence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 04 - 06:57 PM

If I must choose, it's embonpoint or bust.

Actually that is in my nature as the spiritual leader of the Temple of the Golden Curve and my early sensitivity training in that regard. This is not just lip-service, either. I give you my hand on that.

But in another perspective I was simply using any words I could think of that hadn't already been used up on the thread!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Oct 04 - 01:40 PM

Amos, are you using zaftig in it's embonpoint meaning? Or simply to imply well-rounded?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 04 - 11:24 PM

This is just zaftig grundyism, struggling to become a zeitgeist, isn't that right?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Oct 04 - 10:18 PM

We can reuse some of those words, luckily, or by now we'd all be straining our thesauri to utter a single peep on this long thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 04 - 09:33 PM

Well, maybe it wasn't self-control. Maybe it was that I didn't have anything to say. True, normally I don't have anything to say. That is, to communicate information from one person to another, accepting the "noise" inserted into the information transfer by the filtering inherent in the receiver's (and sender's, for that matter) mind. The Shannon-Weaver model, as well at the Laswell Theorem, although first posited in 1947 and 1949 respectively, are still viable scenarios for information transfer (accepting that Shannon and Weaver first described their model with a heavily technological slant to it). Mind you, I still don't have much to say, but I a) don't want to disappoint either Amos OR Mother and, b), I can certainly use up a bunch of words not saying it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 04 - 09:22 AM

Self control? Disappointing Mother is self-control? Hmmm?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 04 - 09:00 AM

I didn't post here at all yesterday. What self-control!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Oct 04 - 02:23 AM

back to the top, big Mama. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Oct 04 - 10:42 AM

Wow, Rap, I hadn't read that Owen poem in years and years. (The link is for the inquisitive).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 22 Oct 04 - 08:16 AM

I am an arrogant asshole.
Ebverybobby says that!

Tweed
K.O.T.R.O.T


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 22 Oct 04 - 12:58 AM

If you don't eat the maggots, they will be your friends as flies.

I said that.
If you do eat the maggots. they won't fly at all.
I said that too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 04 - 09:17 AM

The Naming of Parts
Henry Reed

Today we have naming of parts. Yesterday,
We had daily cleaning. And tomorrow morning,
We shall have what to do after firing. But today,
Today we have naming of parts. Japonica
Glistens like coral in all of the neighboring gardens,
And today we have naming of parts.

This is the lower sling swivel. And this
Is the upper sling swivel, whose use you will see,
When you are given your slings. And this is the piling swivel,
Which in your case you have not got. The branches
Hold in the gardens their silent, eloquent gestures,
Which in our case we have not got.

This is the safety-catch, which is always released
With an easy flick of the thumb. And please do not let me
See anyone using his finger. You can do it quite easy
If you have any strength in your thumb. The blossoms
Are fragile and motionless, never letting anyone see
Any of them using their finger.

And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
They call it easing the Spring.

They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
For today we have naming of parts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Oct 04 - 09:05 AM

DULCE ET DECORUM EST
                     Wilfred Owen

       Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
       Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
       Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
       And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
       Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
       But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
       Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
       Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines6 that dropped behind.

       Gas! Gas! Quick, boys! – An ecstasy of fumbling,
       Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
       But someone still was yelling out and stumbling,
       And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime . . .
       Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
       As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
       In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
       He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

       If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
       Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
       And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
       His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
       If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
       Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
       Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
       Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,
       My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
       To children ardent for some desperate glory,
       The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est
       Pro patria mori.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 08:27 PM

Those are some of the favorites I read with my kids. Glad you liked 'em!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 08:05 PM

SRS:

What a delightful way to fill the thread!! Thanks for renewing my acquaintance with some old favorites indeed.


QA


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 07:03 PM

Maggots may malinger, from time long out of mind
But never, ever, ever must a maggot be maligned.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Magenta Maggot
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 06:43 PM

Please stop malinging maggots. If you do not, I will be forced to take certain actions that you will not enjoy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 06:37 PM

I must point out, in all fairness to the US Air Farce, that my brother only ate maggots when he was in survival school at Fairchild AFT in Spokane, Washington. The mess hall raised them and cooked them just to show survivalists that they could eat 'most anything, if they had to, and that maggots were their friends (they clean out infection really well, for instance).

Of course, his final exam -- the "Survival Trek" -- was to walk twenty-five miles across the face of Mt. Rainier in the snow, surviving with only the stuff he'd normally have on him if he bailed out of a plane. This prepared him for survial in Vietnam, and boy! if he was ever shot down over Vietnam and had to survive in the snow, he was ready!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 03:47 PM

You've never seen one with a rotten tooth, have you? See?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 03:30 PM

they have a piece of trivia posted on the board at work... The oil in cashews prevents tooth decay.

Now I ask you, if this is true -= why have I never, ever seen a cashew with even a single tooth?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 03:23 PM

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And was run over by a rednecck in a pickup.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 02:41 PM

This is the 4, 903rd post to the Mother of All BS Threads in the Mudcat Ideational Emporium and Cogntiive Free-for-all and Tea Society.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 12:57 PM

Whose pants these are I do not know,
But they are quite filled up with snow.
He will not see me stopping here
To drink my whiskey, wine and beer.

My little hawk must think it queer
To stop without a bathroom near
Between the woods and frozen lake
And talk to icebound duck and drake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 12:12 PM

Closing in on the big one. . . and revisiting some of my favorites.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 12:11 PM

'OUT, OUT--'
The buzz-saw snarled and rattled in the yard
And made dust and dropped stove-length sticks of wood,
Sweet-scented stuff when the breeze drew across it.
And from there those that lifted eyes could count
Five mountain ranges one behind the other
Under the sunset far into Vermont.
And the saw snarled and rattled, snarled and rattled,
As it ran light, or had to bear a load.
And nothing happened: day was all but done.
Call it a day, I wish they might have said
To please the boy by giving him the half hour
That a boy counts so much when saved from work.
His sister stood beside them in her apron
To tell them 'Supper'. At the word, the saw,
As if to prove saws knew what supper meant,
Leaped out at the boy's hand, or seemed to leap--
He must have given the hand. However it was,
Neither refused the meeting. But the hand!
The boy's first outcry was a rueful laugh.
As he swung toward them holding up the hand
Half in appeal, but half as if to keep
The life from spilling. Then the boy saw all--
Since he was old enough to know, big boy
Doing a man's work, though a child at heart--
He saw all spoiled. 'Don't let him cut my hand off
The doctor, when he comes. Don't let him, sister!'
So. But the hand was gone already.
The doctor put him in the dark of ether.
He lay and puffed his lips out with his breath.
And then -- the watcher at his pulse took fright.
No one believed. They listened at his heart.
Little -- less -- nothing! -- and that ended it.
No more to build on there. And they, since they
Were not the one dead, turned to their affairs.

Robert Frost


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 12:10 PM

MENDING WALL
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun,
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
'Stay where you are until our backs are turned!'
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, 'Good fences make good neighbors'.
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
'Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are cows?
But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offense.
Something there is that doesn't love a wall,
That wants it down.' I could say '.Elves' to him,
But it's not elves exactly, and I'd rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father's saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, "Good fences make good neighbors."


Robert Frost


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 12:09 PM

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 12:09 PM

STOPPING BY WOODS ON A SNOWY EVENING
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.


Robert Frost


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 12:03 PM

Ugg.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 11:41 AM

Using the "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger" theory of human development, huh??


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 04 - 11:27 AM

No, they made him eat them. Fried.


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