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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,MMario 09 Jul 04 - 10:53 AM
GUEST,Wall Wuss Anne. D. Carpenter 09 Jul 04 - 10:49 AM
Rapparee 09 Jul 04 - 08:54 AM
GUEST 09 Jul 04 - 08:20 AM
42 09 Jul 04 - 07:19 AM
Rustic Rebel 09 Jul 04 - 12:35 AM
Rustic Rebel 09 Jul 04 - 12:31 AM
GUEST,MMario 08 Jul 04 - 02:13 PM
Amos 08 Jul 04 - 02:07 PM
Rapparee 08 Jul 04 - 01:34 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 08 Jul 04 - 01:26 PM
Rapparee 08 Jul 04 - 01:17 PM
Amos 08 Jul 04 - 01:05 PM
Little Hawk 08 Jul 04 - 01:02 PM
GUEST,MMario 08 Jul 04 - 12:58 PM
Little Hawk 08 Jul 04 - 12:56 PM
GUEST 08 Jul 04 - 12:44 PM
Amos 08 Jul 04 - 12:32 PM
GUEST 08 Jul 04 - 12:20 PM
Amos 08 Jul 04 - 12:16 PM
Rapparee 08 Jul 04 - 12:00 PM
Amos 08 Jul 04 - 11:35 AM
Acme 08 Jul 04 - 09:52 AM
Rapparee 08 Jul 04 - 09:24 AM
42 08 Jul 04 - 09:16 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 07 Jul 04 - 04:08 PM
Amos 07 Jul 04 - 04:07 PM
Rapparee 07 Jul 04 - 03:17 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 07 Jul 04 - 03:13 PM
Amos 07 Jul 04 - 02:15 PM
Acme 07 Jul 04 - 12:35 PM
Amos 07 Jul 04 - 12:30 PM
GUEST 07 Jul 04 - 12:14 PM
Acme 07 Jul 04 - 12:10 PM
Acme 07 Jul 04 - 12:09 PM
Acme 07 Jul 04 - 12:08 PM
Acme 07 Jul 04 - 12:07 PM
GUEST 07 Jul 04 - 11:46 AM
Little Hawk 07 Jul 04 - 09:48 AM
42 07 Jul 04 - 09:45 AM
42 07 Jul 04 - 09:44 AM
Rapparee 07 Jul 04 - 09:18 AM
Tweed 07 Jul 04 - 07:47 AM
Rustic Rebel 07 Jul 04 - 01:02 AM
Amos 07 Jul 04 - 12:52 AM
Little Hawk 06 Jul 04 - 07:42 PM
freda underhill 06 Jul 04 - 07:40 PM
Amos 06 Jul 04 - 07:08 PM
freda underhill 06 Jul 04 - 06:44 PM
Little Hawk 06 Jul 04 - 04:47 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 10:53 AM

'The time has come,' the Mother said,
'To talk of many things:
Of earth shoes -- Guam-- and groundhog traps--
Of cribbages -- and Rings --
And why Iraq is boiling hot --
And whether pigs can sing.'


Marvelous!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Wall Wuss Anne. D. Carpenter
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 10:49 AM

The MOAB thread was winding on,
Winding with all Her charm
She did her very best to make
The catters free from harm--
And this was odd, because it was
a cyber funny farm.

Rapaire was shining sulkily,
Because he thought his brudder
Had got no business to be there
brown nosing up da Mudder
'It's very rude of her.' he said,
'To flaunt her mega udder!'

The thread was long as long could be,
The comments dry as dry.
You could not understand a bit
no matter how you try
For Amos, Rustic and the rest--
were raving by and by.

Now Chongo Chimp and and Little Hawk
Watched all the panorama
They drooled like anything to see
Such Shatneristic drama
'The problems of the Universe
are solved with one banana.'

'If seven men with seven blades
Shaved for half a year,
Do you suppose,' the Catter said,
'That they could grow a beard?'
'l doubt it,' said the albatross,
because he couldn't hear.

'The time has come,' the Mother said,
'To talk of many things:
Of earth shoes -- Guam-- and groundhog traps--
Of cribbages -- and Rings --
And why Iraq is boiling hot --
And whether pigs can sing.'

'But wait a bit,' the Catters cried,
Come join us in the chat;
For all of us are out of breath,
And some of us are fat!'
'No hurry!' said the MOAB and
They thanked her much for that.

'It seems a shame,' the Mother said,
'To play them such a trick.
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!'
and jennyO said nothing but
'The butter's spread too thick!'

'I weep for you,'the MOAB said:
'I deeply sympathize.'
With sobs and tears she sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding her mustard sauce and dill
Before her streaming eyes.

The MOAB showed her Catters,to
her son, whose name was Vlad
He licked his lips seductively
They realised they'd been had --
Their thread was his digestive track
and Vlad, the cad, was mad.

for ten long years they argued on
debating gin and tonic
in Vlad's entwining serpentining
gizzard, quite moronic
until the day he paid his dues
and had a full colonic.

The MOAB smiled as out they gushed,
like feathers on a river
The Mother watched them hurtling past
and felt a little quiver
And this was odd, because it was
just so much cyber blither..

Wall Wuss Anne. D. Carpenter


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 08:54 AM

How about my WINNINGS?????????????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 08:20 AM

How 'bout them Mets?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 07:19 AM

could we find something else to blather on about while we wait for the thriller of the century to reach its nail-biting conclusion.

please
j


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 12:35 AM

Well shit, I see I messed up on the number. Well I still think Amos called dibs on the 4000 post.
*Note to Amos---
*My main man, I hope you get it before the shat or stilly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 09 Jul 04 - 12:31 AM

Tweed, my bitch friend, (you're quick minded aren't you Tweed?) that you are,
perhaps you should be taking the next postal star.

Number, that is.

Stilly, what's up with you wasting good space,
posting numbers that put you into some kinda silly race?

Number race. that is.

I believe Amos has called dibs.
And so the 3000 post should be his.

What is, should be his.


That's about all I got to say about the mother way, today.
Still lovin' you and still naked.

P.S. I did my sun dance and I won the bet for a clarinet concerto, just for the effort.
The sun came out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 02:13 PM

even the truck that carries porta-potties around and the recycle bins in the park

He's wrong about the truck and the recycle bins - but he's spot on with the porta-privies!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 02:07 PM

Shatner thinks everything is part of his entourage, even the truck that carries porta-potties around and the recycle bins in the park. He's incurably diseased, him.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 01:34 PM

Sure, Bill. Right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 01:26 PM

Yes, they're part of my entourage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 01:17 PM

Good Lord! There are forty Estonians downstairs, singing!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 01:05 PM

Has anyone told LH that the series ended some years back? That tells you something! Old, fat and in the way, that's our Billy boy.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 01:02 PM

Look, man, no matter how many hits Big Bill takes, no matter how badly torn his T-shirt, no matter how sweaty and tousled he becomes...he always triumphs at the end of each episode. That tells you something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 12:58 PM

careful LH! Someone bought out all the RAID Lawn and Garden blackfly spray for five counties around here!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 12:56 PM

Go ahead, bluster all you want. In the end Shatner will prevail.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 12:44 PM

DAMMIT! Forgot about "no hosey!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 12:32 PM

NO HOSEY, I CALL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 12:20 PM

well dibses are dibses - but can be overuled by a 'hosey' or several dozen chocolate bars -

all of course subject to "you move, you lose"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 12:16 PM

Tough. Dibses is dibses. No nekkid broads are gonna undo that.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 12:00 PM

I also bought numbers 5000, 6000, 7000, 8000, 9000 and 10000 while I was at it.

And I'll defend them! Anyone who tries to take them will have water balloons flung their way! This is not an empty threat! I have water balloons and I'm not afraid to us them! To prove it, here's a picture of me, assisted by two of my allies, launching a test shot (photo taken by a CIA spy satellite).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 11:35 AM

SRS,

You can't....I dibsed it!!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 09:52 AM

I'm gonna hover over my muliple windows when the time comes and slip that 4000 in while you're all arguing about it.

Just watch. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 09:24 AM

I also have a receipt. In Khandu's handwriting. And it's the first by date, being dated "15 Thermidor 1793". He said it was "revolutionary" while he skipped away singing something that sounded like "...for tonight we'll Marat be...."

As for Amos, I can only say that I have it on excellent authority that his mother wears Army boots and sings out of tune.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 08 Jul 04 - 09:16 AM

gentlemen...gentlemen...chimp equivalent...who amongst us needs to reaffirm their manhoood by being the victor in this pissing contest?

Besides, it's in the bag...the thread goddess has promised to save it for me.

j


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 04:08 PM

Don't count yer mangos before they ripen. I have good reason to believe Khandu sold you a counterfeit copy for post 4000. Specially since I already know of 3 other people he has sold the same thing to! This is fraud. I am investigatin' and it is my opinion that Khandu is gonna be in deep shit over this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 04:07 PM

Neeener neeener neeener, Rapaire is a weiner.....I DIBS post 4000


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 03:17 PM

Khandu SOLD me post 4000 some time back. Have the canceled check or cheque. Anyone else who takes it is trespassing and worse, so be warned: trespassers will be persecuted, survivors will be executed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 03:13 PM

Ha! Post number 3800!!! Got you agai---

Wait a minute.

Darn it, I messed up somehow. It's post number 3805 now.

Oh, well. See you in another 95 posts, I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 02:15 PM

But I DIBSSSSSIES!!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 12:35 PM

You can't hold that place--if you're not there when the time comes, have your hanky ready to weep into!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 12:30 PM

I dibs post 4000, no outsies, no cutsies.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 12:14 PM

but the post that cursed him was 5793


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 12:10 PM

3800


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 12:09 PM

3799


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 12:08 PM

3798


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 12:07 PM

3795 not 5793 (you're looking a little dyslexic, guest). Now it's 3797.

If anyone is counting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 11:46 AM

post 5793! Everyone KNOWS that to write the 5,793rd post on a thread is to be cursed for eternity - (plus two days per word)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 09:48 AM

How do you figure?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 09:45 AM

oh no! cursed for eternity!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 09:44 AM

dylan would probably love to see himself in a 27 year old body too LH. (hee hee)


j


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 09:18 AM

Ya know, that money from the UK still hasn't shown up in my account. In fact, there is no money in my account, not even the paycheck from last Friday.

I'm startin' to think that I might possibly perhaps maybe have been made a fool of.

'Course, Khandu must be holdin' the check or cheque 'cause it ain't been cashed yet either. That's awfully nice of the boy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 07:47 AM

...sniff....thet iz the mos' beautiful pome I habv ever rede...Thanks Mz Rustic. I will try an print it out and carry it in my wallet to cheer my heart on cloudy days.

I remain az allus..

Yore dancin' bitchfool and KOTROT
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 01:02 AM

I've been away, which seems nearly over a week,
But Tweed, I will think of you tonight and rub my cheek.
The nearly frozen, part of my ass,
while I am out dancing naked in the grass.
I must do, what I must do, what I can,
to bring the sunshine, home again.
So while I freeze my ass off, to dance the sun ritual,
Imagine the sunshine and dance with me you bitchual.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 04 - 12:52 AM

Actually I'd rather have Michele Philips along. Anyone know if she is still alive? I don't know what FTL does to deceased body matter, since it doesn't really have a clock. Interesting question, though!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jul 04 - 07:42 PM

I think Bob would be interested in such a possibility, Amos. I would be too. I'd love to see him in a 27 year old body again, with a 27 year old voice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 06 Jul 04 - 07:40 PM

...chuckle...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 04 - 07:08 PM

Ach Freda, there's a piece of this you haven't understood. Getting to the Deneb system involves FTL transport with the natural sequelae of time reversal. By the time you step out of the transport capsule your body's clock will have run backwards to an estimated age of 29.7 Terran years. Mine will be slightly younger than that.

Howja like them apples?

:>))

But you can stay home if you prefer, dear. I am sure I can find some other companion for an interstellar adventure with free timewarp thrown in...

Bob Dylan would be interested, I am sure.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 06 Jul 04 - 06:44 PM

Amos, don't tell anyone, but I'm 83 with no teeth. lucky for you or i could bite. but you can wipe the dribble out of my mouth any time, just remind me to put my teeth back in first, I have my pride, y'know? as for an intergalaxial rendezvous, i'm not lusting after anyone's loins, just their pithy lines. and there's a few Catters of varying genders and benders that provide these on a regular basis.

the regular activity of casting nasturtiums, well, MOAB is wearing multiple garlands right now. she looks good in anything. and nasturtiums are edible, but personally I can't handle too many of them, they sour a good meal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Jul 04 - 04:47 PM

You're onto a good thing there, Amos. The Deneb system is doubly favourable for such a rendezvous even since Cap'n Kirk and the boys (and girls) cruised through there several seasons ago and cleaned up the place, making it safe for meritocracy and ankle rubs.

There's been this marvelous sense of serenity around the whole interstellar region ever since they left...


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