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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 17 Jun 04 - 08:55 PM
Little Hawk 17 Jun 04 - 07:43 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 04 - 07:14 PM
Little Hawk 17 Jun 04 - 06:58 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 04 - 06:31 PM
Tweed 17 Jun 04 - 05:16 PM
Amos 17 Jun 04 - 04:37 PM
Little Hawk 17 Jun 04 - 04:33 PM
Amos 17 Jun 04 - 04:26 PM
Little Hawk 17 Jun 04 - 02:14 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 04 - 02:01 PM
Little Hawk 17 Jun 04 - 02:00 PM
Amos 17 Jun 04 - 01:36 PM
MMario 17 Jun 04 - 01:29 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 04 - 01:27 PM
Amos 16 Jun 04 - 11:54 PM
Little Hawk 16 Jun 04 - 10:04 PM
Amos 16 Jun 04 - 02:52 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 04 - 02:42 PM
MMario 16 Jun 04 - 12:37 PM
Acme 16 Jun 04 - 12:29 PM
MMario 16 Jun 04 - 11:21 AM
Acme 16 Jun 04 - 11:10 AM
42 16 Jun 04 - 07:00 AM
Amos 15 Jun 04 - 11:30 PM
GUEST,Harald Bearshirt 15 Jun 04 - 10:01 PM
Amos 15 Jun 04 - 06:45 PM
Little Hawk 15 Jun 04 - 06:35 PM
CarolC 15 Jun 04 - 06:26 PM
Amos 15 Jun 04 - 06:00 PM
Little Hawk 15 Jun 04 - 05:55 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 04 - 05:20 PM
Amos 15 Jun 04 - 04:33 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 04 - 04:11 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 04 - 04:10 PM
GUEST,MMario 15 Jun 04 - 03:46 PM
CarolC 15 Jun 04 - 03:37 PM
GUEST,MMario 15 Jun 04 - 03:20 PM
Amos 15 Jun 04 - 03:12 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 04 - 02:55 PM
Amos 15 Jun 04 - 02:46 PM
CarolC 15 Jun 04 - 01:52 PM
GUEST 15 Jun 04 - 01:07 PM
Amos 15 Jun 04 - 12:16 AM
Little Hawk 15 Jun 04 - 12:10 AM
Rustic Rebel 14 Jun 04 - 11:25 PM
CarolC 14 Jun 04 - 11:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Jun 04 - 10:49 PM
Amos 14 Jun 04 - 10:43 PM
GUEST,Harald Bearshirt 14 Jun 04 - 10:27 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 08:55 PM

I am so tempted to fall into this lizard brained chest thumping hairy-chested glare-fight. But I am of a higher order, and I don't resort to violence to resolve issues of verbal behavior. Sorry.

LH, if you find the plane of Agreed-Upon Reality, do let me know. We can use it as a starting point and evolve a wonderful understanding about something or other. I look forward to that point in your evolutionary advance.

Very best regards,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 07:43 PM

Ha! Amos is no doubt shaking in his little booties. I am ready for the challenge, yes, chafing at the bit. I will atomize his California oranges and defoliate his peach groves and leave him totally fruitless!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 07:14 PM

No, no! It is a duel au signal. One of the seconds, chosen by lot, will clap once and both will raise arms. Three seconds later, s/he will clap again and aim will be taken. Upon the third clap, three seconds after the second, both parties will fire at the same time.

If anyone is standing after the first fire, the seconds will determine if the principals (Amos and LH) are equal by having the principals "whip it out and prove it." If the principals do not agree to this, a second fire will be performed, and so on and so on and so on and so on, etc. ad nauseum.

Should both still be standing after the forty-third fire and no reconciliation is yet possible, the principals will have at it with chain saws having blades at least thirty-six inches in length, from the same distance from which the fires were done. This will continue until the principals are pooped.

Note: no provision is made for powder, shot, or gasoline (petrol).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 06:58 PM

Well, of course we will fire "at the same time". Isn't that what is usually done? I would not want to fire, say, 30 seconds after the other guy. Not unless he missed. Hmmm. Gotta think about this. If he missed, I could take my time, aim really carefully, and...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 06:31 PM

Gentlemen! Let's not have this degenerate into a common "Mine's bigger than yours" argument. I suggest that you settle this like the gentlemen you are: by the duel.

As it cannot at this time be determined who gave the first offense, you will fire at the same time. Weapons will be hande gonnes of .69 caliber or larger, fired at a distance of not less than 50 meters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 05:16 PM

Cocka-Doodle-Doo!!!


Wheedawgs
and Yowzah!!


Ahhh...I'm off for a few days and had to let that loose somewhere. Thank you MOAB.

Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 04:37 PM

I have it on the very best authority that your authority is under investigation for fraudulent projection of illusions of grandeur.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 04:33 PM

I assert that my "good authority" is inherently superior to yours. :-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 04:26 PM

I have it on good authority that LH is being used as the definitive paradigm case in a studio of pathological obsessive fantasy management.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 02:14 PM

I have it on good authority that Bill will be sitting happily on his spacious deck this weekend, barbecuing steaks and reading fan mail, while his beautiful daughter will be managing his website. He will bask in the comfort of his well-earned golden years, surrounded by the fruits of a glorious career. He may deign to stop in and post to this pitiable thread. You never know. I've got my fingers crossed.

Chongo says "thanks!" for the compliment, Mario. He says you are "top banana" as far as he's concerned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 02:01 PM

Okay, I see. Shatner is a poor, withered, old man, his skin sere and blotched and white from imprisonment in a moldy damp dungeon, one rotten tooth left in his blackened, scurvied gums with which he attempts to consume the swill he is allowed. And LH parades the name around like a will-o'-the-wisp, deceiving and misleading those who might follow.

Got it.

Perhaps a "Free Shatner" movement is needed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 02:00 PM

Are you implying that I couldn't survive without your puny attention?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 01:36 PM

There is a real Shatner, whimpering and withered in the corner somewhere. The image that LH keeps trotting out is purely a figment and nothing to do witht he actuality. It is this will o'the wisp that LH uses to lure people into paying attention to him.

Do not be fooled.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 01:29 PM

nah - couldn't be. BS is obviously older the LH. And LH come up with much better characters (and more believable ones) as witness 'chongo'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 01:27 PM

Amos -- are you implying that William Shatner was created by LH, like the "Wizard" was created by the dude behind the curtain in the Emerald Palace? That Shatner is Little Hawk (and, of course, vice-versa)?

Oh, my.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 11:54 PM

I see right through you, Little Hawk. I am not going to chase your puffed-up straw tiger. YOU are the very little man behind the curtain, creating this meretricious and pusillanimous fantasy-icon in the hopes that others will confuse it with reality. You fool no-one with your overblown hyperbole. You should get an honest job as a journalist for Fox news. Perhaps your friend Shatner will offer to give you a reference as a good PR-smoke-and-mirrors man.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 10:04 PM

You could hire William Shatner as a consultant on practically anything. He has a chameleon-like ability to match the terrain perfectly and yet remain inimitably and unforgettably Shatnerian at all times. He is like a force of Nature...ineffable, unstoppable, indescribable, irresistible.








Heh! (I can see Amos going slowly mad as he reads the above...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 02:52 PM

Reg'lar humbucker!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 02:42 PM

Blow job????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 12:37 PM

in Miss Congeniality I was hoping BS would catch the bomb and get blown up...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 12:29 PM

No, this movie came out a year or two ago, with Sandra Bullock. I don't remember what the cop show was, but you can look it up in the IMDB.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 11:21 AM

What was the stupid cop movie that BS played himself in? (cop and actor doing a tv show; BS hired as a consultant (god knows why))


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 11:10 AM

So that means you watched the movie Miss Congeniality, right? Funny thing about that, Shatner was probably playing himself straight and Candy Bergen was hamming it up for her role. :) Michael Caine was pretty good.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 07:00 AM

finally saw our friend W.S. in his perfect role...smarmy beauty pageant host...he was perfect! almost as fine a performance as the "Rant"

J


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 11:30 PM

Thanks, friend Harald!! Consider it as good as done!! Ho!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Harald Bearshirt
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 10:01 PM

Ho!

What is this dog biscuit? Amos, if you are a man, why do you not cleave this Little Hawk from helm to gullet? And if you do not like this actor person, stake him out with a Blood Eagle and let Huginn and Muninn carry the news of it to Valaskjalf's master.

If you are truly offended, there can be no kin retribution.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 06:45 PM

See? See?? You can see it in the way he types that little laugh of his!! Orillia shmeelia!! He's a dog biscuit.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 06:35 PM

Heh! Heh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 06:26 PM

Little Hawk never lies. He's from Orillia.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 06:00 PM

Hollywood my sweet Anglo-Saxon tushie!! Little Hawk, you are lying through your teeth! You just made that up!! Admit it!!

(Why do I let this &)+_@#$@$#^^&)(* annoy me?)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 05:55 PM

I spoke to Bill about post 3500. He said, "Naww...I'm going to go easy on them and let someone else have it this time." He is a model of generosity and compassion which it would behoove us all to follow. The Man is virtually egoless. It's a very rare thing in Hollywood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 05:20 PM

Hey, when I last trod the boards it was with top billing in a work by George Bernard Shaw, no less!

Androcles and the Lion. Cast in order of appearance: a lion....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 04:33 PM

Congratulations to all MOABites, everywhere, and to ou rown heroic Rapaire for defending the 3500th post from the encroaching talons of all has-been wannabe actors (other than himself, of course!). :>))

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 04:11 PM

3,500! I did it! Me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 04:10 PM

...99


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 03:46 PM

as if the Atlanta airport wasn't dangerous enough already!

(I really shouldn't talk - since the time I was there they gave my sister's entire plane the wrong gate number for their transfer - and we ended up literally RUNNING to the correct gate DOWN the up escalators with her baggage carried up over our heads)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 03:37 PM

First (and only) time I've seen one in use myself (in real life, not on video) was at the airport in Atlanta and as I described in my previous post, it was being operated by a security guard who was zipping through the lounge area/food court at a fairly high rate of speed.

When I saw it in operation, it made me think of a horseless chariot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 03:20 PM

I doubt I could ride one. And I doubt I'd want to be around anyone ELSE riding one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 03:12 PM

Did you catch the stills of George Bush falling off of one? Automated gyros can only deal with so much ineptitude... Some guys can't operate a toilet seat reliably. Who put him in the driver's seat??? LOL!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 02:55 PM

First time I've seen the Segway in action. Reminds me of the "unicycles" Heinlein wrote about in "The Roads Must Roll."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 02:46 PM

That is one beeyootiful piece of technolgoical development...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 01:52 PM

AND WE'll Roll the old segway along
We'll roll the old segway along
we'll roll the old segway along and
we'll all get run over by security guards at the airport going 20 miles an hour through the food court on their way to goodness knows where...

(click on "Watch Segway HT in Action" in the upper right corner)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 01:07 PM

Oh a little less of shatner wouldn't do us any harm
a little less of shatner wouldn't do us any harm
a little less of shatner wouldn't do us any harm

and we'll all hang on behind....

AND WE'll Roll the old chariot along
We'll roll the old chariot along
we'll roll the old chariout along and
we'll all hang on behind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 12:16 AM

ELeven for the eleven positions, oh....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 04 - 12:10 AM

12 posts to Shatner....
12 posts to Shatner....
12 posts to Shatner....
And we'll all get ripped!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 11:25 PM

But, but, hard old Bearshit is really funny.
Bee-dubya please don't apologize, I thought you were really funny.
Really funny is as good as it gets.
Really funny bullshit is better than, as good as it gets.
Taking any bullshit as intended, is really, really the best as it will ever be, and consider it an honor if you will, to be getting the best bullshit given or getting around here.

Hard old bearshit is a stumbling block in the woods. We can and will walk around it, unless we fall first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 11:05 PM

Odin's eternal tool

Interesting possibilities with that one...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 10:49 PM

Thanks for the invitation, Harald Bearshirt. I apologize for misreading your name earlier. Mild dyslexia and dirty glasses, you know. Anyway, I've sworn off drinking and wenching but the viking sounds interesting. I've never viked before. Do I get to wear one of those helmets with horns on it? Maybe get to chunk throw a few spears? (I keep forgetting it's not politically correct to say "chunk" and "spear" in the same sentence.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 10:43 PM

Beats working for the military industrial complex and fighting clot-brained Republicans!! I'm signing up if Bear Shit will have me. This adds a new dimension to the BS of which we are the Mother...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Harald Bearshirt
Date: 14 Jun 04 - 10:27 PM

Do you mock Harald Bearshirt?

No, I do not think you would do that. It is really very funny, Hard Old Bearshit. You may call me that.

Hard Old Bearshit. I like that.

Bee Dubya Ell, your name is as funny as Hard Old Bearshit. I like you. Wouldst like to go a-wenching or a-viking? I have Waveskimmer and twenty oarsmen, good with steel sword and bearded axe. You shall have a full share of drink or food or loot!

Hard Old Bearshit has said it.


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