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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 30 Apr 04 - 11:13 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 04 - 11:10 PM
CarolC 30 Apr 04 - 11:06 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 04 - 10:58 PM
Amos 30 Apr 04 - 04:25 PM
CarolC 30 Apr 04 - 11:45 AM
Little Hawk 30 Apr 04 - 11:24 AM
freda underhill 30 Apr 04 - 11:23 AM
Amos 30 Apr 04 - 11:13 AM
freda underhill 30 Apr 04 - 11:08 AM
GUEST,MMario 30 Apr 04 - 11:05 AM
Amos 30 Apr 04 - 10:56 AM
Little Hawk 30 Apr 04 - 10:56 AM
GUEST,MMario 30 Apr 04 - 10:36 AM
freda underhill 30 Apr 04 - 10:28 AM
freda underhill 30 Apr 04 - 09:46 AM
GUEST,MMario 30 Apr 04 - 09:34 AM
Rapparee 30 Apr 04 - 09:16 AM
Amos 30 Apr 04 - 08:01 AM
42 30 Apr 04 - 07:38 AM
Acme 30 Apr 04 - 12:31 AM
Amos 30 Apr 04 - 12:19 AM
Rustic Rebel 29 Apr 04 - 09:44 PM
Little Hawk 29 Apr 04 - 09:09 PM
Amos 29 Apr 04 - 05:21 PM
Little Hawk 29 Apr 04 - 05:21 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 04 - 05:15 PM
GUEST 29 Apr 04 - 04:29 PM
CarolC 29 Apr 04 - 04:28 PM
TheBigPinkLad 29 Apr 04 - 04:20 PM
GUEST 29 Apr 04 - 04:18 PM
Amos 29 Apr 04 - 04:13 PM
Little Hawk 29 Apr 04 - 04:10 PM
GUEST 29 Apr 04 - 03:48 PM
Little Hawk 29 Apr 04 - 03:35 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 04 - 01:55 PM
Amos 29 Apr 04 - 01:07 PM
Acme 29 Apr 04 - 12:58 PM
Amos 29 Apr 04 - 12:04 PM
CarolC 29 Apr 04 - 12:03 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 04 - 11:59 AM
Amos 29 Apr 04 - 11:51 AM
Rapparee 29 Apr 04 - 11:40 AM
GUEST 29 Apr 04 - 11:30 AM
Amos 29 Apr 04 - 11:24 AM
Little Hawk 29 Apr 04 - 11:17 AM
GUEST,MMario 29 Apr 04 - 10:46 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Apr 04 - 10:42 AM
Rapparee 29 Apr 04 - 09:40 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Apr 04 - 01:14 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 11:13 PM

I like your books, Rap. I've read several of your books. Well, they probably weren't the exact copies that you have, but they probably had most of the same words in them. Or maybe they were the same copies. Maybe I read them in Pocatello. But I don't remember ever being in Pocatello. I remember being in Winnemucca, Nevada. It's a nice town. It's a fun name to say. Try it! Say "Winnemucca". Now say "Pocatello". Now say them both, over and over again until they don't make any sense. My! That was fun, wasn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 11:10 PM

Nah, just the titles I could easily read from where I'm sitting. Although I do have cowboy poetry....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 11:06 PM

Cowboy Beatnik poetry?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 10:58 PM

My Books -- a pome

outhouse humor
arizoniana
Childhood's End
the fire inside
druids
Job: a comedy of justice
shiloh -- in hell before night
dead and gone
Tar heel ghosts
the bloody bozeman
coyotes and canaries
cowboy lingo
vigilante days and ways
speaking ill of the dead
dancing gods
She captains
humor the computer
ice age mamals
five points
Godel, Escher, Bach
Lincoln on democracy
a brief history of time
mountain spirits I and II
Lamy of Santa Fe
Tales told in the kitchen
lamb
the arctic grail
lots and lots of print and paper
lots and lots more arranged in chaotic order
If you don't like my books
I will say just one thing:
Bite me, bucko! You got lousy taste!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 04:25 PM

I am thunderstruck at the delicate apperception revealed by your responses, dear Ladies of the Moab. Thanks!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 11:45 AM

Of course, Amos. I couldn't imagine it being any other way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 11:24 AM

Yesss...I see egzactly vhere you are goink vis ziss, Amos. In fect, if vee take a goot look at ziss life uff ours vee vill see zat ze prevelence uff BS in ze human system iss expandink at un exponential rate zat iss rapidly approaching infinity! Vee can expect ven reaching "zero point" ein overload to occur vich vill transmute ziss reality und turn everysing to liebenscheiss!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 11:23 AM

there once was an alien yokel
who thought time and space were non focal
his undulating thought
accounted to nought
though the yokel if local, was bi-focal.
a universe parallelism sought
to replicate Amos's thought
with actuality undirectional
and identity sequential
it created a parallel port...


sorry, been in the Limerick thread ( a parallel thread) and am spouting parralel doggerel..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 11:13 AM

Maybe there is a better way to do this. Has anyone thought about the idea that if parallelism of universes is an actuality and time is really not unidirectional and sequential, then the whole mindset of anyone who has ever operated an identity is still in creation somewhere and presumably, if thought is non-local, capable of communicating readily with any other, including our own. I mean, it stands to reason....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 11:08 AM

Mastication is an old occupation
that is similar to masticulation
your boobies gyrate
at a circular rate
to an ocular, jocular ovation

however a Masticoplendectomy
is extreme, like a himorherectomy
so proceed with due caution
don't have a masbortion
or you'll end up with milk on a wreckedtummy

and for those who have nothing to lose
who masticulate whenever they choose
just remember your fate
if you choose to gyrate
you'll develop masticular blues..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 11:05 AM

Little Hawk?

Gesundheit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 10:56 AM

We have migrated from "BS (Plain)" to "BS (Poetic)", a serious sign of expansion in thye MOAB Collective Mind!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 10:56 AM

Okay. Not bad.

Ahem...

Masticoplendectomy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 10:36 AM

somehow - you have to admire a mother who gets her offspring pickled.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 10:28 AM

that should be

and soaks all her offspring in brine....

(Mother was not on the ball)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 09:46 AM

who would think that a Mother could spawn
such a thread so convoluted and worn
all the poems it spouts
are by cyberpunk louts
whose emissions are varied but worn..

but the Mother of all BS she knows
thats a thread can go down to its toes
all the hairs on the way
are just fiberous spray
and will wax off revealing just prose

The Mother creates in a line
with a multiple brain like a lime
acidic and tart
she reveals quite an art
and soaks all her offspring in lime

but I know that a Mother can spew
when she's over indulged in the dew
she will chunder profanely
and then giggle insanely
leaving others to sample the brew....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 09:34 AM

Eternal Big Bang now scowlingly small

But size doesn't matter!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 09:16 AM

Semen pursued, testosterone driven
Waves of Nigglethworp washing witchward
Across the endless gray of grey on gray,
Nothingness evolves, eternal Big Bang,
The ovaries of the world dripping
Ova into the fallopian underground
Frustrated by the ennui of existence
Eternal Big Bang now scowlingly small
I will wear white flannel trousers
And will walk upon the beach
At Nigglethworp
Collecting shells
To sell to tourists
To the seashore.

Do I dare to eat a peach?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 08:01 AM

:LOL!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 07:38 AM

not in my pool it isn't!
j


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 12:31 AM

The "p" is silent in "swimming."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 04 - 12:19 AM

LEt us hope we all can sworp
When our time comes to niggelthworpe
And by virtue of stout klorp
Show we are true galliports.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 09:44 PM

I too pleasure in the frittered way of MOAB's.
Animal appetite has resulted in eating crow pie and drinking beer, while suckling on a rhubarb stick in the middle of an orgasmic asparagus field.
Dribbling growth, while moulting our feathers and still we can fly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 09:09 PM

Hmmm. Bizarre interjections seem to prompt interesting responses sometimes. Okay...

Nigglethworpe!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 05:21 PM

ANd the "th" is silent in "aether", too.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 05:21 PM

Amos, you were right. Please note that I have improved upon Guest's contribution in the new BS thread "Sang one Little Hawk...Dipwallow".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 05:15 PM

We don't drink no stinkin' d on this thread.

Beer, man, beer's the stuff to drink!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 04:29 PM

the "d" in keyboard is silent.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 04:28 PM

GUEST rhymed aether and keyboard. That's even more outrageous than the time when I rhymed Argentia and adventure. GUEST needs some more beer. Publican! Oh, publican!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 04:20 PM

I enjoy a quickie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 04:18 PM

biblical sheep farmer from Tejua:

masticate upon a holy relic


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 04:13 PM

It's very funny, but, no, it is not perfect. I wish you had selected a more precise set of rhymes and found a cognitive pattern more closely matched to the original. It would have elevated the whole effort. But it is very good for a quicky!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 04:10 PM

Oh, my! That is just wonderful! Thank you, thank you. I'm going to print it, laminate it, and hang it on my wall. It's perfect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 03:48 PM

On a tree by a river sat a Little Hawk
Sang "Wallow, dipwallow, dipwallow!"
And 'twas said "Is relic true, Holy shit?"
Singing 'Wallow, dipwallow, dipwallow'?"
"Oh Mo-ab-ite, wise Little Hawk !" then I cried,
"Or just a figment fantastic from your inscrutible mind?"
With a shake of his Little Hawk head, he replied,
"Oh, wallow, dipwallow, dipwallow!"

He composed many a post, as he perched in the aether,
Singing "Wallow, dipwallow, dipwallow!"
And a cold perspiration bedecked his keyboard,
Oh, wallow, dipwallow, dipwallow!
He ranted and posted and called on 'The Kirk"
Then he praised William Shatner (tho' Shatner's a Jerk)
And an echo returned via technical wave
"Oh, wallow, dipwallow, dipwallow!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 03:35 PM

Dipwallow!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 01:55 PM

Is holy shit a relic?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 01:07 PM

Holy SHit!! Never mind the beer!! Did you read this part?

Despite their unfortunate beginning, the descendants of Moab became quite numerous and powerful, and were often connected to Bible History (e.g. Numbers 22:3-14, Judges 3:30, 2 Samuel 8:2, Jeremiah 48:11-13). Good and righteous Ruth was a Moabite (Ruth 1:4), and her descendants, through her great-grandson King David (Ruth 4:13-22), formed one of the lines from which Jesus Christ was descended. (Matthew 1:1-17, Luke 3:23-38)


Moab to Ruth to David to Joseph and Mary and it's a slam dunk triple play!! Legitimacy is no longer relevant!! Talk about original sin!! These guys are all over that little problem!! Git down, MOAB!! ANd of course, the trouble was started by two gals putting their heads together, never a good idea...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 12:58 PM

I'm glad someone is paying attention to the beer, CarolC!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 12:04 PM

Oh, Rapaire, you have been too long resident in the Encyclopedia!! (That's E-N-C-Y-C-Elloopee-ee-deee-eye-ayyyy, Jiminy!) You need to get out more. Seduction of one's own parents is taboo, man, tabu, no-no, nicht gerweit, not done, non-you, outre, gauche, faux pas and also frowned upon.

But, as is evidenced by historical antecedents, being a criominal doesn't prevent you from prospering.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 12:03 PM

That Bible is a very weird place. Just like this MOAB. As without, so, also, within. If you don't want your beer, I'll have it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:59 AM

Huh? What corrupt beginnings? MOAB shares beginnings as lustrous as those of most nations, of great families such as that of Richard Coeur de Lion or Hank Tudor or Sawney Bean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:51 AM

Guest's informative link makes it clear that in its most essential form, MOAB, and all its descendents, are born in taboo and contaminated by excessive sharing of a most incestuous sort. From these unnatural beginnings, which are anathema to all right-thinkers everywhere, MOAB has spread across the plains and propsered and multiplied. But it will never fully escape the dark secret of its corrupt beginnings...never!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:40 AM

Relevancy is Irrelevant. Fiction is Truth. Les is Moore. And vice-versa and versa-vice.

Therefore, MOAB has become that which is real, and what is considered "Reality" is a mere pseudo-appendage to MOAB, destined to wither away and drop off.

And so, dudes and dudettes, I can say only one thing: Wow! Way cool!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:30 AM

MOAB


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:24 AM

I ain't drinking no bears, man. Not even for MOAB!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:17 AM

Pifflesnort!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 10:46 AM

obviously being served with beer would not be a punishment - so it is most likely that Satin - Lord of Hul9 confused the issue during translation - the original was obviously meant to specify BEARS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 10:42 AM

A post may or may not be relevant, but its relevance is irrelevant. It's sorta like farts that don't smell.

See? My second sentence has absolutely no connection to the first (at least in normally functioning brains) but that irrelevance is totally irrelevant because this is the MOAB!

Hah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 09:40 AM

So Amos' earlier posting in Amos' own Bible book is irrelevant. Whoa! This here MOAB sure does beat all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 01:14 AM

Of course Matthew 18:18 has nothing to do with the subject of Rap's post! This is the MOAB! Relevance is irrelevant!


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