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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 02 Apr 14 - 06:18 AM
Ebbie 02 Apr 14 - 01:57 AM
Rapparee 01 Apr 14 - 10:00 PM
Acme 01 Apr 14 - 06:23 PM
gnu 01 Apr 14 - 11:39 AM
Ebbie 01 Apr 14 - 01:36 AM
Rapparee 01 Apr 14 - 12:07 AM
Acme 31 Mar 14 - 11:06 PM
gnu 31 Mar 14 - 09:06 PM
Amos 31 Mar 14 - 08:35 PM
Rapparee 31 Mar 14 - 08:34 PM
gnu 31 Mar 14 - 06:02 PM
Acme 31 Mar 14 - 05:49 PM
Acme 31 Mar 14 - 12:13 PM
gnu 31 Mar 14 - 07:51 AM
gnu 31 Mar 14 - 07:44 AM
Amos 31 Mar 14 - 01:35 AM
Rapparee 30 Mar 14 - 10:28 PM
Acme 30 Mar 14 - 07:08 PM
gnu 30 Mar 14 - 05:24 PM
Acme 30 Mar 14 - 05:12 PM
Amos 30 Mar 14 - 04:57 PM
Amos 30 Mar 14 - 11:09 AM
Acme 30 Mar 14 - 01:51 AM
Amos 30 Mar 14 - 01:17 AM
Rapparee 29 Mar 14 - 08:26 PM
gnu 29 Mar 14 - 04:32 PM
Rapparee 28 Mar 14 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 28 Mar 14 - 03:15 PM
gnu 28 Mar 14 - 01:57 PM
Acme 28 Mar 14 - 11:35 AM
Amos 28 Mar 14 - 10:54 AM
gnu 28 Mar 14 - 07:48 AM
Amos 28 Mar 14 - 12:28 AM
Rapparee 27 Mar 14 - 09:33 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 14 - 09:33 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 14 - 09:31 PM
gnu 27 Mar 14 - 08:53 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 14 - 05:22 PM
Acme 27 Mar 14 - 04:50 PM
Rapparee 27 Mar 14 - 06:53 AM
gnu 27 Mar 14 - 06:39 AM
Ebbie 27 Mar 14 - 02:04 AM
Amos 27 Mar 14 - 01:37 AM
Amos 27 Mar 14 - 01:14 AM
gnu 26 Mar 14 - 06:07 PM
Rapparee 26 Mar 14 - 05:59 PM
gnu 26 Mar 14 - 03:22 PM
Acme 26 Mar 14 - 03:07 PM
Amos 26 Mar 14 - 12:23 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Apr 14 - 06:18 AM

It's NOT!!! snowing or raining or... Temp is suppose to go up to +2 so some of the ice will melt. Down to just under 10k without power, mostly in two villages/areas.

I dunno why most everybody is shoked and surprised that we had a stretch of 'weather'. Hey, we knew the forecast for a month. "In like a lamb, get ready." they say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Apr 14 - 01:57 AM

At one point in my life I had to undergo PT for a knee that wouldn't bend. Very painful- they seem to try to get it fixed in a week, when it took years to bind it. I decided that I can get it bendable a half degree at a time. It has worked so far.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 14 - 10:00 PM

Ebbie, when I left South Bend I asked them if I could have my seven gallons of donated blood back. They said no.

I also had this "vision" one day of someone carrying a unit of blood -- in its plastic soft-pak, nice and fresh -- who trips and the blood flies out the window and lands like a water balloon, barely mission a passer-by. That building had actual windows that actually opened!

I've had no blood leakage for the past three days but my knee is all swollen and red. Everyone says it looks great, so who am I to judge? I've never had this sort of thing done before.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Apr 14 - 06:23 PM

Ew, Ebbie. Ew.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Apr 14 - 11:39 AM

Nasty pics and vids from my buddies this morning. Still about 19k without power and they're mostly in the southern half of our small province. Miles of power and telephone lines down in rural areas. And a LOT of small outages in cities... near 90 in the Moncton area. A big job for NB Power. I assume crews are here from ME and PQ and beyond.

Our power came back on at 2:40 and I felt sooo relieved for Mum. I just hope it holds until we get some warm weather. Everything is covered with ice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 01 Apr 14 - 01:36 AM

Speaking of spurting blood reminds me of when I forgot to unclench my fist (They don't do that anymore, right?) when the nurse was taking out the needle- my blood, rich and red and shiny, not only spurted on her shirt front but almost hit the wall beyond. Mortifying.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 14 - 12:07 AM

Stilly, I promised not to bring up Amos' various peccadilloes, but now that it's out in the open it's probably better to have frank and open discussion about this and his other "eccentricities." The neighbors are beginning to talk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 11:06 PM

You know, our guy who cruises the Physical Therapy unit at his local clinic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 09:06 PM

Blood?... he typed by the light of a torch whilst listening to ice pellets scratch his brain though the sound they made on the cold vinyl siding of his abode now devoid of a source of heat by Mother nature's cruel heart.

Power is out due to ice and freezing rain and the wind is howling. I am off to wrap in major wool and sleep until power is restored or


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 08:35 PM

Permanently Traumatized? Partial Tyrant? Pretty Tepid? Pneumatic Thorax? Ponderous Termagant? Enquiring minds want to know...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 08:34 PM

Well folks, I'm still around. Pain wracked and with blood spurting out with every heart beat, but I'm still around. (There's a song in that: "Baby, baby, can't ya see my blood spurt?")

I had the physical therapist and the senior nurse in today and they were both impressed by how high my blood spurts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 06:02 PM

PT Cruiser? I think I ran over one yesterday with my tuck. I was busy changing radio stations and heard something and felt a 'bump'. I know it was bigger than a VW but I can't be sure what it was because I never check my rear view mirror when I am in a forward gear unless I wanna change lanes. And it couldna been much bigger than a PT on accounta the truck was in 4X2.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 05:49 PM

How's our own PT Cruiser doing these days?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 12:13 PM

"A starving man will eat anything" and "anything cooked outdoors tastes good" are statements I heard a lot growing up. Usually on camping trips.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 07:51 AM

Oops! Rap... glad to hear you are on your way to recovery. Sounds like you are doing well at it Keep up the good work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 07:44 AM

"Should I post the recipe?" Ahyup. One can never have too many recipes. I wish Gramps' recipe was writ down. Made two pans every Saturday. One red kidney beans and one navy beans. In the morning, he would make the worst bread imaginable. No taste at all and it was tough. Seriously... tough but good fer ya. He slather it with butter or whatever. Maybe that's what meant to be... 'balanced'. He did a lot of the cooking on accounta Gramma burned most everything. That's where I learned to burn Salmon River Hash in an iron frying pan juuuust right. Delicious. Mine was simply spuds, hamburg and onions. Of course, when ya tramp thru the woods all morning and ya fire up the old Coleman stove, just about anything would taste good, 'ceptin Gramps' sliced cardboard, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 01:35 AM

I am very glad to see that the glandular links responsible for high-speed rationalization are working perfectly, Rapparree. This is a good sigtn and means you will still be able to practice crooked law at the Idaho bar -- the one nearest your hospital.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 10:28 PM

Five hours or so on the knee-bender machine today, and up to 44 degree. Snowed all day, but the temps are high enough that it won't stick. Snowpack is about 2% above average, or was going into today. Worry about flooding now comes. But not for me, for I am a poor, crippled American veteran who fought the Commie Hoards to Keep This Country Free Like God Intended. Even though if the Commie Hoards invaded right now I couldn't do much about it, but that's why I've got Percocet. Well, that an for pain.

Amos, we took Utah around the various place here in Pocatello hoping he say stuff like that! And he did! Keeps the Californicators out, ya see.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 07:08 PM

I'm considering making a batch of cinnamon rolls this evening. Should I post the recipe?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 05:24 PM

Aha! I can POST! I can read posts most times but not often post. Not that it makes much difference, of course, given the low level of sophistication of my contributions in comparison to the scholarly and erudite posts of others herein. Why, at this very moment, the only things that come to mind are that the baked bean recipe called for too much brown sugar and too much water, the fookin snow and sleet and freezing rain weather is pissin me off, and somethin about flatulence. Oh, who am I kidding with the fancy talk?... I am fartin like a newly fracked gas well. DON'T smoke em if ya got em unless ya go out in the shite weather.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 05:12 PM

I wonder if the painkillers are still working? Or if he has thrown aside his cane or crutch and is out stomping around the yard finding and throwing balls at golfers across the fence?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 04:57 PM

Now that the truth is out about Pocatello, thanks to the Senior Folkie of All, U. Utah Phillips, perhasps the burden of secrecy will lift from our dear friends soul, and he will find himself magically healed!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 11:09 AM

Old Utah reveals the harsh truth about Pocatello, IDaho.

Rapparree, you are disclosed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 01:51 AM

Diatoms - makes me think of diatomaceous earth. It turns up in animal feed and people can eat it - as long as it is the pure version, not the swimming pool filter version.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 01:17 AM

It's good to have some to care. A lot of folks don't carrot awl.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 14 - 08:26 PM

No, Loretta is the visiting nurse who comes to care for me and wipe my fevered brow. Lauretta is my niece.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Mar 14 - 04:32 PM

Is Mom's name Loretta?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 14 - 11:37 PM

Oh, Mom, get back up where you belong!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 14 - 03:15 PM

Diatoms are two atoms joined together, like diatomic hydrogen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Mar 14 - 01:57 PM

SRS... I'd go out and take a pic for you but it's snowing.

A... when I don't know what the hell an ingredient is, I don't make it. Diatom? Sounds green and slimy to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Mar 14 - 11:35 AM

Has all of your snow melted now, gnu?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 14 - 10:54 AM

Four eggs, two cups fresh cantaloupe, a cup of protein powder, some diatoms, and two handfuls of frozen mixed fruit. Blend until smooth. Serves wife.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Mar 14 - 07:48 AM

A box of Betty Crocker cake mix, 2 eggs, 1/3 cup oil. 1" balls. 350F for 24 minutes. Piece of cake cookies. I like the spice cake cookies. Carrot not so much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 14 - 12:28 AM

Why soften the whole thing? It'd be cheaper to just put a cushion on it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 14 - 09:33 PM

a stool softener,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 14 - 09:33 PM

On the other hand, I have something every gnu needs and which I have happen to share:


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 14 - 09:31 PM

Percocet is Tylenol and Oxycodone. I'll sell what's left over to pay for the surgery.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Mar 14 - 08:53 PM

I actually paid money for a haircut and a shave. I am accustomed to cutting and shaving mesel, but, I felt a pamper was in order after the stress of the bombogenesis (seriously, it is a real word that the weather terrorists used to scare Mum before it "snowed"). A shave with a real blade... steamed towel an all! It was GLORIOUS. He even rubbed my scalp with old fashioned elixir afterward. Fuck it's itchy. If I had known such, I would have told him the elixir was at the loss of the tip. Smells nice tho. Got that old fashioned barbershop smell. And me face is as smooth as a whore's stroke.

Percocet??? Huh? That's what college kids take to stay awake to cram for exams. ??? Hope yer doin okay, Rap. Hurry... hobble er whatever... back to good health.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 14 - 05:22 PM

Okay. Within the hour.

Forget not that 50n05 are all my numbers, lest thou be smitten for thy presumption.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Mar 14 - 04:50 PM

The small electric chainsaw I borrowed is not up to the job. I have several excellent tools of electric persuasion which could make slow, miniscule steps on the work, but would take longer than I am willing to spend.

Ha! Back when I worked for the Forest Service and was around all sorts of loggers who used the huge falling saws I heard one of them refer to those little chainsaws as "cheese slicers." That's no way to tackle a big piece of wood. However, if your wood has knots or is a burl, etc., chainsaws aren't always real safe to use either because you can hit things that break teeth or cause them to bounce out of your hands or buck dangerously.

Rap, hospitals are simply no place to get a good night's sleep. They don't seem to know how to set the thermostat to a comfortable temperature, and they're darned noisy. Get out of there soon!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 14 - 06:53 AM

It is 0450 and I am going to try to go back to sleep. I was awakened so they could take some more blood out. In 40 minutes I get some more Percocet and in a couple of hours I can order breakfast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Mar 14 - 06:39 AM

I have just sat with warm tea after clearing in front of both garages and Mum's rear door (about 3' deep) and a path along my truck and to the street. Not even one sip and I hear my snowman with his tractor mounted blower. I shall sip the tea before I return to clear Mum's back door again. Was he watching from up the street?

5C and showers tomorrow. Verrrry funny.

Hey RAP! How ya doin eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 27 Mar 14 - 02:04 AM

I must ask: laying? Is that where the three balls came from?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 14 - 01:37 AM

I took the opportunity this evening to peruse some of our history, around the region of the 2500th post. To my delight I encountered this little piece of depissé expostulation:

Disgusting -- not only does this mindless fanatic sycophant steal like a hydrophobic rug merchant, but he then alters the plagiarized material! Hard to believe that underneath this fallen, craven, ensorcelled fool of a camp idolator was once a proud spiritual seeker and a speaker of ornate but honest phrase!! How the doughty have fallen!


I can't recall who I aimed those scintillating silvery rhetorical arrows at. I suppose it might have been Rapparee or Little Hawk. But I delight in them, nevertheless.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 14 - 01:14 AM

Seems you did not calculate the vectors carefully enough on your new scheme to get free drugs at President Obama's expense. Never mind, you will survive.

Stilly I know I could do those things. The hardness and tightness of this block is such that it would take me months, unless I went out and bought a full-bore chain saw. The small electric chainsaw I borrowed is not up to the job. I have several excellent tools of electric persuasion which could make slow, miniscule steps on the work, but would take longer than I am willing to spend.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Mar 14 - 06:07 PM

Thanks for the update, bud. Here's to speedy recovery!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 14 - 05:59 PM

Here I am, laying in a hospital bed, wracked with pain and bleeding profusely, at the mercy of sadistic attendants who make dear Nurse Ratched seem a tender teddy bear. Ah well, I shall survive and thrive for that which does not kill me makes me stranger. For instance, I now have three balls, the latest being a "pain ball." But I must close for now as the attendants are coming with their rubber truncheons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Mar 14 - 03:22 PM

Hard to see across the street. Snow will abate somewhat over the next several hours but the wind shall increase so, apples and apples really. Hope all is going well with Rap. He's gonna hafta help shovel me out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Mar 14 - 03:07 PM

Amos, you could use a hammer and chisel or build a small fire on the block of wood and slowly hollow it out with fire and a chisel.

Rap, I hope the knee replacement is all they predicted and that you don't receive any odd radio signals or set off the alarms at the doors of the public library.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Mar 14 - 12:23 AM

DO the genes know they're for a body with part missing?

Man, I gave up on the Eucalyptus. That wood was worse than lignum vitae, the ironwood they used to make deadeyes out of. It's impossible!   Those lumps of hardwood are off to the dump.

I'll build a little bench out of four-by's or some such. Much easier.

A


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