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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 04 Mar 17 - 08:09 PM
gnu 04 Mar 17 - 08:33 AM
Amos 04 Mar 17 - 02:07 AM
Rapparee 03 Mar 17 - 08:46 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Mar 17 - 10:40 AM
Rapparee 02 Mar 17 - 08:39 PM
gnu 02 Mar 17 - 05:39 PM
keberoxu 02 Mar 17 - 02:28 PM
gnu 02 Mar 17 - 02:08 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 17 - 01:38 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Mar 17 - 10:53 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 17 - 09:11 PM
keberoxu 01 Mar 17 - 05:55 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 17 - 10:05 PM
gnu 28 Feb 17 - 04:01 PM
Acme 27 Feb 17 - 11:17 PM
Amos 27 Feb 17 - 06:03 PM
Amos 27 Feb 17 - 04:21 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 17 - 09:19 PM
keberoxu 26 Feb 17 - 03:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Feb 17 - 02:31 PM
Acme 26 Feb 17 - 10:20 AM
Rapparee 25 Feb 17 - 10:16 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 17 - 10:15 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Feb 17 - 01:55 PM
Amos 25 Feb 17 - 01:35 PM
keberoxu 25 Feb 17 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 17 - 12:24 PM
gnu 25 Feb 17 - 10:51 AM
Acme 24 Feb 17 - 11:59 PM
Amos 24 Feb 17 - 10:04 PM
Rapparee 24 Feb 17 - 06:53 PM
keberoxu 24 Feb 17 - 05:03 PM
keberoxu 23 Feb 17 - 07:02 PM
keberoxu 23 Feb 17 - 01:01 PM
Rapparee 22 Feb 17 - 05:03 PM
Amos 22 Feb 17 - 04:51 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Feb 17 - 11:45 PM
Acme 21 Feb 17 - 11:18 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 17 - 09:45 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 17 - 09:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Feb 17 - 08:10 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 17 - 07:04 PM
Amos 21 Feb 17 - 05:47 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 17 - 09:12 AM
MMario 21 Feb 17 - 08:36 AM
Amos 20 Feb 17 - 07:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Feb 17 - 06:08 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 17 - 05:41 PM
gnu 20 Feb 17 - 04:14 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Mar 17 - 08:09 PM

Words of wisdom for those of us of a certain age:

Think old and you'll be old. Think young and you'll still be old, but you'll also be delusional.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Mar 17 - 08:33 AM

They won't take Cdn$.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 17 - 02:07 AM

Lovely to see Mom rocketing along so carefree and blithe. It is going down below 40ºF tonight. But we have central heating and a dog. So we'll be fine. Next week, Spring!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 17 - 08:46 PM

US dollars? Australian? Zimbabwean? Canadian? Liberian? Bahamian? Tuvaluan? New Zealand?

They should really specify,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Mar 17 - 10:40 AM

Hi Mom and kids! Try this: Next time you eat in some presumptuous restaurant that prints its menu prices as whole numbers without any currency symbols ("Ribeye Steak 15" instead of "Ribeye Steak $15.00"), try to pay for it using interesting pebbles instead of money. Then, when the server sees fifteen rocks on the little bill plate and asks, "What's this?" just tell him, "The menu said the steak was 'fifteen', not 'fifteen dollars'. If you want to be paid with money, print a menu that has prices in dollars and cents, like every other business in the country!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 17 - 08:39 PM

That's ALL the increase???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 17 - 05:39 PM

NOOOO! NOT giving them hell is what is prudent and proper. I am only a GNU when called for. I am a gnu when called for. And, this is the time to be a gentle, dumb animal and let the lions circle... to my advantage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 02 Mar 17 - 02:28 PM

That's our Gnu,
givin' 'em hell with or without snow to shovel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Mar 17 - 02:08 PM

Got my property tax bill. The new aerial photography thingy they have in place works great! They were able to see that I hired out the replacement my front and rear steps with precast Portland Cement concrete steps with nice aluminum railings, the addition of vinyl siding on my garage, and the installation a ********** **** **** (I have my reason for the *s). All that from an eye in the sky! My property assessment increased by $10,300! Mum's, next door, went up $300. So, I added up my improvements and they totalled $9997.96. They overvalued the improvements by $2.14. But HEY! That's from way up in a heavier than air flying machine so I ain't gonna ask fer no review of the change. Ask the gubmint ANYthong and yer just askin' fer yer troubles eh? On top of that, my bill increased by $197.69 so that's peanuts compared to what they would do if I dared to ask them "WTF? You wanna buy the sumbitch for the assessed value right now in THIS housing market you fuckin assholes?" You can see my point, I am sure. On the other hand, if I did want to sell or had to sell, the increase in the assessed value gives me a better position in the market place so getting screwed to the tune of ONLY $200 a year is a hell of a bargain and, these days, finding anything that's a bargain when it comes to the gubmint is as rare as hen's teets.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 17 - 01:38 PM

Sure you can! Just turn it ndsᴉpǝ poʍu˙


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Mar 17 - 10:53 PM

Thanks for hoisting Mom up, keb. Of course, up is the only way to hoist, isn't it? You can't hoist down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 17 - 09:11 PM

A little class 1 whitewater -- why Amos moved,

There's some real kayaking back East, but it ain't the Eno. Of course, he could try something New, or come visit me and I'll introduce him to some nice placid water.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 Mar 17 - 05:55 PM

better hoist MOM up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 17 - 10:05 PM

The Eno? Known to the Eno people as "The River of Ghosts"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Feb 17 - 04:01 PM

"... the US Post Office has a kit for moving and forwarding your mail that has a pretty good Home Depot coupon in it..."

Now, that there is good old Yankee style marketing!

A, the train whistles may blow more often now that Agent Orange has signed an executive order to allow dumping coal ash into surface waters. Buy some water filter company stock. Buy some water filters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Feb 17 - 11:17 PM

Seems to me the US Post Office has a kit for moving and forwarding your mail that has a pretty good Home Depot coupon in it, at least they used to. I'd pick them up at the post office every so often for shopping.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 17 - 06:03 PM

The general consensus of those I have met in these parts is that we have landed in a special town, vital and warm-hearted, physically beautiful and both civic- and civil-minded. I believe this is correct, and it is the reason I moved here. I have met double handfuls of people of all kinds of interesting walks of life and every one of them has been kindly, civil, and welcoming.

Two blocks from my front por h the mighty Eno River wends its way through the forest and the lonesome whistle of that southern railroad train calls out across the hills and valleys. I don't need much more than that! Well, Home Depot, but it's only a few miles down the road.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 17 - 04:21 PM

We chose not to prosecute. But you are mistaken--that can't be our moving day. There was no sherriff involved, and we don't even have a goldfish, silly wabbit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 09:19 PM

I hope, Amos, you got to keep the earnest money. And folks, Amos' moving was videotaped! Now you can share the excitement!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 03:50 PM

Oh dear, Rapparee, that is rather a wait. Hope you have decent pain meds in the meanwhile, and you will have to get through Fat Tuesday and Ash Wednesday and everything whilst you wait. And the first Sunday in March, and the return of "Once Upon A Time" on ABC network, and all that.

Amos, what a pain about the curled-up-in-a-ball buyer or however you described her, and I hope the new prospective buyers come through for you.

GNu, I am sorry that You Tube hates you. Sometimes You Tube hates me as well. Anyway maybe some of that snow melted? A lot of it has melted down here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 02:31 PM

It is neither snow nor slaw. It is stew. Exactly what is meant by "85.8 inches of stew" is a bit of a mystery. Is it measured vertically, as if a cup of stew were tossed into the air? Is it measured horizontally, as if a pot of stew were spilled on th floor? And, if measured horizontally, is it a measurement of the spill's furthest reach, its diameter, or its area? Or is it a measurement of volume? (85.8 cubic inches of stew would fit in a cube roughly 4.5 inches per side.) And does it matter whether the stew is made with beef or lamb?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Feb 17 - 10:20 AM

Twelve hours till she drops off the page, but MOM is near the bottom so I'll boost her up. And while I'm at it here's a cuppa tea.

What is this snow slaw you speak of? A salad or a dessert?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 10:16 PM

K, probably on the 7th.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 10:15 PM

85.5 inches of snew, Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 01:55 PM

85.8 inches of slaw is not so much. Check out this picture of three folk musicians preparing a batch of slaw to take to a potluck picking party.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 01:35 PM

Rapp: Why are you collecting such an ungodly amount of slaw? Even Old King Cole didn't eat 85 inches of it! It would choke a horse!

Enquiring minds, etc. ...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 12:48 PM

Your Imperial Rapness,
when will you know whether or not you are clear to travel to Norway as planned? If you can still go, that will make the pain -- almost -- worthwhile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 12:24 PM

85.8 inches of s***w so far this winter, surpassing the old second-highest record.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Feb 17 - 10:51 AM

This video is not available.
Sorry about that

You Tube hates me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 11:59 PM

So the bad buyer went farther than her previous few attempts, but still didn't manage to finally buy a house. I wonder if Realtors® keep a little list. Not to blacklist (shudder at the thought!), but of those clients who, should said Realtors® encounter them, be held to a higher standard because they are known to be unreliable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 10:04 PM

Such intrepid courage in the face of overwhelming adversity God rarely calls up in mortal men. Rapp is clearly a mountain of a man--snowcapped, wide-waisted, hard to climb, impenetrable and fond of posing on the horizon.

The bad buyer failed us but we have been in escrow for a week now with Good Buyers, who are Asian and young and earnest and have a sugar daddy, so we believe all will be completed successfully by 15 March. Pray for our escrow, paramount in the annals of human history!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 06:53 PM

Here I sit, typing with one finger because my left arm is swathed in a splint and bandages. The pain is so great that I am fighting to stay conscious. But I am one of Mom's and I will survive this!













!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Feb 17 - 05:03 PM

Someone's got to do it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Feb 17 - 07:02 PM

Okay, while His Imperial Tyrannosaurus Rap is mending from the barber-chirurgien's attentions, one of us had better hoist MOM up here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Feb 17 - 01:01 PM

But Amos, did you finally get everything squared away with the California buyer who was complicating everything? Hope that's done and dusted now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 17 - 05:03 PM

Mom, it's tomorrow at 5:30 a.m. Mom, I checked and God doesn't get up that early!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 17 - 04:51 PM

You could use honey, or if you're a real techie, a compound of aspartame and ground spandex...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 11:45 PM

It's okay to eliminate sugar from your diet, just as long as you double up on the butter, lard, and bacon fat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 11:18 PM

I put a batch of oatmeal in the crockpot now for tomorrow morning. I'm trying to cut out sugar from my diet, but I can't help myself, I have to kind of pave the top of the hot cereal with brown sugar before I pour on the milk. Maybe if MOM is around in the kitchen I'll be better and use less.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 09:45 PM

If you ARE a patriot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 09:32 PM

Don't forget to mention our brave Space Corps, who have been fighting for the freedom of the USA and the Solar System! Here's a link showing them fighting off three attacking alien (probably ISIS, the InterStellar Icarian Soldiers) craft all at once.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 08:10 PM

Hi, Mom! I have been offered a job in Washington DC! President Bannon has created a new cabinet level department called The Department of Fictitious Events and it needs a secretary. The DOFE's chief responsibility will be creating non-existent terror attacks.

President Bannon feels that nearly fourteen years of creating lies, prevarications, and other forms of humbug here at the MOAB is more than adequate qualification for the position.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 07:04 PM

Washington, DC, a/k/a Fantasyland on the Potomac.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 05:47 PM

Back when I would rant at Bearded Bruce about how delusory and self-centered W was, I had no idea it could get so very much worse!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 09:12 AM

George Washington was born February 11, 1732 (OS) and hence shares a birthday with Thomas Edison and me. Abraham Lincoln was actually born February 11, but his father's watch was fast -- he actually shares a birthday with George, Tom, and me. And to give divine approval to us, Bernadette Soubirous first saw "the Lady" at Lourdes on February 11, 1858. Back in my days in Catholic elementary school it was also the feast of St. Adolf of Osnabruck (it still is) and the patron of the pastor, so we got the day off from school. I, in my humble way, always told those who didn't know why we didn't have to go to school that it was because that's how the Catholic Church celebrated my birthday.

Historically, the Magna Carta, Virginia Declaration of the Rights of Man, Declaration of Independence, and the US Constitution was all signed on February 11, but their effective dates were changed to what we know them as now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Feb 17 - 08:36 AM

Hey Mom! Tell Bee-dubya-ell that 2/17 was LINCOLN'S birthday, not G. Washington's.

2/22 is Washington's Birthday, or as it was known in our house "Dad's Birthday" -

Wednesday would have been Dad's hundreth. He missed it by less then 2 years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 17 - 07:47 PM

I like your Mom, Gnuzer! My kind of one-liner!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Feb 17 - 06:08 PM

I bought a suit for my sister-in-law's funeral about fifteen years ago. Went to wear it to something else a few years later, and moths had eaten holes in it. $500 and wore it once. If I'd bought a banjo instead, I'd still have it and it wouldn't have made a bit of difference to sis-in-law either way.

Since then, it's been sport coat, slacks, and tie. If that ain't good enough for some, screw 'em. At least I'm wearing clothes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 17 - 05:41 PM

You did your good, gnu. They're probably up there on some cloud, looking down on you, and laughing their asses off to see you making nice in a suit. Me, I wore a blazer and slacks and shirt and tie for my sister's funeral back in December. I think I have a suit, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Feb 17 - 04:14 PM

GW the I seems like he was a cool dude. I mean, the wooden teeth myth spread by Fox News back then proves he was adored, idolized, by many.

So, I went to the parlour, spotted the greeting line, shook hands with his five sons (didn't see the daughter), kneeled on the deeply padded bench, crossed myself* out of respect for Vic, said a heartfelt prayer with head bowed and eyes closed, crossed myself again, looked at Vic and said, "Thanks, Vic. Gonna miss ya, Bud." And hobbled (I shall not kneel again!) out with moist eyes.

I was home in jig time. Took me longer to get dressed than I spent in the visitation room (that happens when you ONLY EVER wear a tie to funeral parlours and funerals). Mum was at the back door checking on the mail when I got back so I went over to have a short chat. Mum asks, "Have you been there already?" "Yup." "Oh dear, I won't say what I was just going to say." "Tell me." "No, you might get upset." "Me? Upset? Huh? Tell me." "Well, you were back so quickly that I was going to ask, "Was he there?"" I roared with laughter. That's going in my short story about Vic and Bernice (Bernice died a few years back). Along with the mustard pickles, mason jars, cookies, tomatos, and others. I will miss them both now.

* Cat'lics have Dog on speed-dial.


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