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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 17 Jun 13 - 05:51 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 17 Jun 13 - 03:31 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 13 - 03:15 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 17 Jun 13 - 02:52 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 13 - 01:57 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 17 Jun 13 - 01:17 PM
GUEST,Shame McChongo 17 Jun 13 - 12:41 PM
Acme 17 Jun 13 - 10:11 AM
Rapparee 17 Jun 13 - 10:11 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 13 - 12:13 PM
gnu 16 Jun 13 - 06:15 AM
Acme 16 Jun 13 - 02:15 AM
Rapparee 15 Jun 13 - 08:27 PM
Little Hawk 15 Jun 13 - 07:02 PM
gnu 15 Jun 13 - 06:37 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 13 - 01:42 PM
Little Hawk 15 Jun 13 - 11:27 AM
Amos 15 Jun 13 - 10:27 AM
Rapparee 15 Jun 13 - 10:14 AM
gnu 15 Jun 13 - 06:34 AM
Rapparee 14 Jun 13 - 11:33 PM
Little Hawk 14 Jun 13 - 11:32 PM
Amos 14 Jun 13 - 10:37 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 13 - 09:44 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 13 - 09:37 PM
Amos 14 Jun 13 - 08:36 PM
Acme 14 Jun 13 - 08:34 PM
gnu 14 Jun 13 - 08:15 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 13 - 07:27 PM
Amos 14 Jun 13 - 05:28 PM
gnu 14 Jun 13 - 03:52 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 13 - 03:14 PM
gnu 14 Jun 13 - 02:42 PM
Acme 14 Jun 13 - 01:52 PM
Amos 14 Jun 13 - 01:38 PM
Amos 14 Jun 13 - 01:36 PM
Little Hawk 13 Jun 13 - 10:36 PM
Rapparee 13 Jun 13 - 10:16 PM
Rapparee 13 Jun 13 - 01:45 PM
Amos 13 Jun 13 - 12:56 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 13 Jun 13 - 11:45 AM
Rapparee 13 Jun 13 - 10:07 AM
MMario 13 Jun 13 - 08:45 AM
Acme 13 Jun 13 - 01:11 AM
Rapparee 12 Jun 13 - 11:55 PM
gnu 12 Jun 13 - 09:46 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 13 - 08:14 PM
Little Hawk 12 Jun 13 - 06:58 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 13 - 04:10 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 13 - 10:03 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jun 13 - 05:51 PM

I have now changed my goal for the next life. I shall work tirelessly to come back as an organ grinder's monkey rather than an alcoholic woodpecker. I repent.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 17 Jun 13 - 03:31 PM

Yeah, yeah...you say that, Rap, but you ain't met Beppo who works down at the gym, have you? ;-D Har! Har!

Okay, all kiddin' aside, you got a point. It is one of the few times you actually started makin' sense about somethin'. I am glad to see that you ain't quite as stupid as you look.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 13 - 03:15 PM

Ya know what, "Chongo"? You gotta be the most stupid chimp on the planet.

Now, I ain't sayin' that animal cruelty hasn't and doesn't exist. It does and I'm agin it. Why, if I saw someone being cruel even to you I'd try to stop it.

But you take your average organ grinder. Generally a man, tryin' to make a livin' because he's dirt poor and tryin' to support himself and probably a wife and kids. So he's got a gaffe -- the organ -- but that don't bring in much. So he betters the gaffe by gettin' a monkey like you, 'cause kids go nuts over monkeys and so do some adults and so more money comes in, see? Do you think that when he goes home he tosses the organ he grinds in the corner and slams the monkey in a cage about 1 cubic foot in size, then slides in some rotten banana peels and squirts some water at the monk? Then makes the monk sleep in some cold, drafty corner?

Hell, no! Not if he's got a lick of sense. That organ and that monkey are the tools, the hooks for his gaffe. He takes good care of both of them because if they don't work he gets no moola, no cabbage, ya know? What's he gonna do, stand outside and hum? You don't pull in any dough-ray-me that way. So he feeds his monk as well as he can -- remember, the man's poor -- and takes care of him and his organ.

You ever see a rancher who didn't care for his cattle? No, and you won't, because those cows are his income. Some thing for the monk. Only a damned fool would screw up his source of what makes the world go 'round.

Like I said, you gotta be the dumbest chimp on the planet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 17 Jun 13 - 02:52 PM

Studies of the history of specism in the western world and elsewhere show that specism goes a looooong way back! It is likely that the first primitive humanoids, creatures who was looked at askance by normal primates of the time (due to their stupidity, clumsiness, and unpredictable violence) were all specists as a matter of course. But they had not invented musical instruments yet. We primates had musical instruments already in the form of drums of various sorts...a hollow log would do good...but them poor humanoids didn't even have that. Anyways, the humanoids gradually did learn a few skills as the millenia ticked by, and lo and behold, one day they come up with organs! Thus was born the organ-grinder, a low class human of questionable origins who hangs out on street corners and tries to get lunch money by playin' on his instrument.

Let's face it. This was not a pretty sight. How to make it look better? Well, ya gotta add something that looks appealin'...like an ape or a monkey. Organ grinders started enslavin' cute little monkeys and gettin' 'em to solicit spare change by beatin' and starvin' 'em if they didn't do it. Organ grinders seldom use Chimps for this purpose, because yer average Chimp would just rip their arms off and shove their blasted organ down their throat, but sometimes they do use very young Chimps. Usually they use a small monkey.

When I get elected, organ grinders are gonna be made to work for gorillas who play the keyboard. The organ grinder guy will be tethered by a chain to a nearby lamp post, the gorilla will play popular tunes or classical stuff, and the organ grinder guy will solicit spare change. If he brings in enough money in a day, he'll get a bowl of thin soup and a crust of bread before bedtime. "Bed" will be a thin blanket on a hard, cold floor.

I don't believe in coddlin' specists. No sir!

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 13 - 01:57 PM

Interesting. Verrrrrrrry interesting. Must be a story behind a name like that. The story behind "Chongo" is interesting, as it was an old family name in his family of organ grinder's monkeys.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 17 Jun 13 - 01:17 PM

Take it up with yer parents. They shoulda had more sense.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shame McChongo
Date: 17 Jun 13 - 12:41 PM

For better or worse this is my name & you toss it around like a ball. Have you no shame?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jun 13 - 10:11 AM

Whew! MAX to the rescue, just in time. MOM was teetering on the bottom step!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 13 - 10:11 AM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Mom was the very, very bottom!! That is not permissible nor is it ordained by The Most High that she should fall off the edge.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 13 - 12:13 PM

Mom? (Speakers turned up!) An "upstairs" girl?

Oh, the shane of it! (No relation to Shame McBride.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 13 - 06:15 AM

A beer? Speakers? At this time of the morning? I'll settle for a cup of tea... 5 cups of tea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jun 13 - 02:15 AM

[slaps forehead]

Guys, what has MOM told you about turning this into a music thread? Joe and half of the upstairs gang will have a FIT if this thread is moved above the line.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 13 - 08:27 PM

Of course, you know this one? (Get a beer and turn your speakers up first.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 13 - 07:02 PM

Amos's limerick.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 13 - 06:37 PM

What was dreadful?

Thanks for the tune Rap. Never heard that version.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 13 - 01:42 PM

I looked and looked for "Note 3" and couldn't find or hear it. Was it in treble clef? If so, was it E?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 13 - 11:27 AM

Hmmm. Well, that was dreadful, yet clever at the same time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 13 - 10:27 AM

Young Will, who thought Barbara was luvverly, Note 3
Fell ill with no chance of recovery.
   He said "I'm besotted",
   But she said "Get knotted";
Which they did, when they died, with some shrubbery.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 13 - 10:14 AM

Still a damned good song, you must admit. Try this one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 13 - 06:34 AM

Thanks for the link, Rap, but, being in Canada, I can't get into Pandora's Box.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 11:33 PM

Gracious me! I didn't know Sam Clemen's neighbor in Hartford, CT out-Teslaed Tesla with her electrical powers!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 11:32 PM

Here's the mighty Stan Rogers doing Rise Again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 10:37 PM

Former Massachusetts governor and member of the House of Representatives William Claflin invited people to a garden party at his home in Newtonville, Massachusetts to celebrate the 70th birthday of Harriet Beecher Stowe. For that special occasion, held June 14, 1882, fellow anti-slavery writer John Greenleaf Whittier wrote a poem, "A Greeting":

Thrice welcome from the Land of Flowers
And golden-fruited orange bowers
To this sweet, green-turfed June of ours!
To her who, in our evil time,
Dragged into light the nation's crime
With strength beyond the strength of men,
And, mightier than their swords, her pen!
To her who world-wide entrance gave
To the log-cabin of the slave;
Made all his wrongs and sorrows known,
And all earth's languages his own, —
North, South, and East and West, made all
The common air electrical,
Until the o'ercharged bolts of heaven
Blazed down, and every chain was riven!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 09:44 PM

There's a sample of the song here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 09:37 PM

Okay, gnu, how's this? I can't find a video of it.

MY HEART'S IN CAPE BRETON TONIGHT
Words and Music by Steve Romanoff

It's a Saturday night, and we're out on the town,
My new friends and me, all alone,
We will sing the old love songs,
We'll make toasts all around,
To living, to loving, to home,
Then I think of just how much I miss you,
And it seems I've been out here for years,
Then someone will play an old fiddle tune,
And I'll have to hold back the tears...

So forgive me, my friends, if I seem far away,
In a moment I should be all right,
Though my hands hold me here, working day after day,
My heart's in Cape Breton, tonight.

Since I left Nova Scotia for the work I have found,
I have kept all my memories within,
Of the warm nights and laughter in Waterford Town,
Or the lights on the causeway with the fog rollin' in.
Then I think of just how much I miss you,
And it seems I've been out here for years,
Then someone will play an old fiddle tune,
And I start to find my way home...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 08:36 PM

That's a winner of a song. Thanks, Rapp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 08:34 PM

I just looked up Stan Rogers. I didn't know his story. Sad, awful way to die.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 08:15 PM

Oh my! I had completely forgotten about that wonderful song, Rap. I had the joy of discovering again thanks to your post. I have every recording Stan ever "put out" and more.

Down Home in The Maritimes, when NW Passage is sung at a pub, the entire crowd knows when to sing harmony... even to wait for that first word by the lead when appropriate. It's a joy to hear.

Tis unfortunate he was taken so young from us but it is fortunate that his talents were prolific while he was here with us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 07:27 PM

I have heard of that voyage, Amos. And believe me, I admire it. But the recent warming of the polar regions makes it easier than it was for, say, Franklin. Mind you, I still wouldn't want to try it in winter! Then you could end up, well....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 05:28 PM

When I was in Vancouver I sat down with the bold youthful mariner Richard Hudson, who had privately slipped up the Davis Strait and proceeded to single-hand his schooner Issuma all the way through the Northwest Passage to the sea, down through the Gulf of Alaska, and down to the Inside Passage to Vancouver, where he is now working to save for his next sailing. It was a delight to talk to him and share notes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 03:52 PM

No Northwest Passage, Rap?

I used to get drinks sent to my table and people tell me my music was great when I was about 40 and had a beard... I looked uncannily like Stan, right down to where the beard doesn't grow. Except, I got nicer choppers. One of the lads that used to play tin whistle or geetar duets with me on Hran at kitchen parties nicknamed me Stan. I even sounded a bit like him before Dr. Pal shoved one a them there fancy surgical thingy whatsits down me troat and saved me talkin voice and perhaps me life.

Hehehee! The worst part of that whole slice and dice was that he told me to be absolutely silent for at least four days and a week (or more) if talking hurt or sounded odd when I tried to speak AND NO singing for a month. That was not possible as I was married to whatshername at the time. Even tho he said all that in post-op recovery to BOTH of us all, she wanted to do was pick a fight as usual. Bitter after all this time? No. Only when I think about being married to her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 03:14 PM

Riff-raff are us.

Amos, it's more like this than the other. Sometimes this. And often
this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 02:42 PM

"Just because we have grown enormous doesn't mean we can slack off on quality, after all!"

So, ahhh... why did you leave the door unlocked so riff raff could wander in?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 01:52 PM

I'm sure our Amos is entirely up to Great Fame.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 01:38 PM

Here's a song for Rapp heading up to the Yukon. Oddly enough the song, though heroic, does not mention mosquitoes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 13 - 01:36 PM

Mom should feel really comfortable hanging out with the Cascade book--it is BS of the highest quality, and could even teach her offspring some lessons on the crafting of first rate bull. Just because we have grown enormous doesn't mean we can slack off on quality, after all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jun 13 - 10:36 PM

I was there not long ago, warning Amos of the perils of great fame. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 13 - 10:16 PM

Mom, you get right back up where you belong and stop hanging out with threads like that one about "Beyond the Cascade"!!!

The very idea!! We don't have much, but we DO have our pride!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 13 - 01:45 PM

"Chongo," you are cordially invited to our next barbecue dinner. We'll supply everything except the meat, but don't worry because someone else will supply that.

Amos, at that time of year I think we'll fly into Whitehorse or Yellow Knife rather than take the railroad or drive. It should be nice -- no mosquitoes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jun 13 - 12:56 PM

I love the plan for the Yukon, Rapp--we were not far from there and I really wanted to go up to White Horse and Yellowknife, for no other reason than their resounding names and the echoes of Jack London. I gotta say, Alaska is something different.

There's a small selection of photos on my FB photos page if you care to peruse them, Mom.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 13 Jun 13 - 11:45 AM

Just as I pictured it. A ramshackle den of iniquity perched on the side of a bleak hill in some Godforsaken stretch of rural Idaho. A dump populated by specist losers, drunken sots, and hasbeens who sign their name with an "X" on the rare occasions they set pen to paper. One day a twister will come along and wipe that shack off the face of the Earth. Till then decent folks will give it a wide birth, crossin' themselves nervously as they glance in its direction.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 13 - 10:07 AM

Periodic flash flooding, Stilly. It also washes away some of the riff-raff who make their homes by cuddling up to the (overflowing) spitoons every night. Shoots 'em right down to the stamping mill where, if they're lucky, they shoot through when a stamping bar missing them. If they're not lucky, well, the Legion holds a ceremony and gets a 50% cut on any gold in their teeth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Jun 13 - 08:45 AM

Rap - if you go to Churchill - watch that first step off the helicopter when they take you out to the viewing....my Mom stumbled and tripped, broke her wrist. Of course she waited 3 hours to report it because she "didn't want to make a fuss"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jun 13 - 01:11 AM

You sure that's the Legion Hovel? I always pictured it down in a valley bottom. So when the creek rises the place gets washed out every few years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 13 - 11:55 PM

Me and my wife, we got us a Life List, like birders do. Going to the YT in winter and looking at The Lights is on it. Another is to go visit the polar bears in Churchill. Gotta get to Nunavut, too, before the Arctic thaws out. Iceland's on the list, at least for me.

That there cruise we're gonna take in August is just a break -- we been that way, by the same cruise line, at least up to Bar Harbor, before. Drove up to Halifax, Springhill, Moncton, etc. back in, I dunno, the late '90s. Saw that tidal bore and the tide at the Bay of Fundy.

Those were back in the days when the US trusted its citizens and the citizens of Canada.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jun 13 - 09:46 PM

Rap... ya needs ta see Yer Lights at 3AM at a tailrace party in the sand BIG pit at the Churchill Falls power damn in yer Labrador in COLD weather. Yer required to get liqoured up and lie down in a huddled group and scream at the top of yer lungs to summon the lights to dance. And they do. I seen it with me own two eyes, I did. The collective breath of the screamers enhances the lights. And, no, I ain't shittin. A course, if they now have internut access, maybe they just drink at home and Google it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 13 - 08:14 PM

If you come to Pocatello you can visit the Idaho Legion Hovel. . It's the one uphill, sort of in the middle of the picture.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jun 13 - 06:58 PM

If you come to Orillia, you can visit the Sir Samuel Steele Memorial Building!

Do a search for it on Google and find the pictures under "images". It really is a nice looking building.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 13 - 04:10 PM

Yes, this winter we will almost certainly go to someplace like Whitehorse or Yellowknife to view the aurora. I've seen it as a sort of red haze once over, of all places, central Illinois. I also saw it once in Korea, but it wasn't much -- just a touch of color.

When we go I shall, of course, try to call on Sgt. Preston, the Mad Trapper of Rat River, Charles Constatine and, of course, old Sam Steele. I'll also bring a "treat" for Yukon King...perhaps a haunch of moose. I'll try to avoid being 38 miles up the Canol Road in the Salmon Range at 48 below.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 13 - 10:03 AM

Well, LH, you posted, "I know what Chongo wants to do about Amos, but...well...Chongo tends to go a bit to extremes." I thought, and still think, that you meant that "Chongo" wants to marry Amos.

I'm glad you had a nice trip, Amos. We're thinking about going North later this year, perhaps to enjoy something like this.


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