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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 20 Feb 13 - 04:00 AM
Little Hawk 19 Feb 13 - 01:01 PM
Pete Jennings 19 Feb 13 - 11:56 AM
Rapparee 19 Feb 13 - 11:48 AM
Little Hawk 19 Feb 13 - 11:39 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 19 Feb 13 - 11:30 AM
Amos 19 Feb 13 - 11:00 AM
Rapparee 19 Feb 13 - 09:25 AM
Rapparee 19 Feb 13 - 07:49 AM
Rapparee 18 Feb 13 - 08:55 PM
Amos 18 Feb 13 - 07:27 PM
Rapparee 18 Feb 13 - 07:17 PM
gnu 18 Feb 13 - 06:48 PM
Amos 18 Feb 13 - 06:37 PM
Acme 18 Feb 13 - 01:14 PM
Rapparee 18 Feb 13 - 11:49 AM
Rapparee 18 Feb 13 - 07:46 AM
Amos 17 Feb 13 - 09:48 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 13 - 09:06 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 13 - 01:27 PM
Amos 16 Feb 13 - 07:44 PM
gnu 16 Feb 13 - 05:09 PM
GUEST,Rapparee 16 Feb 13 - 04:10 PM
gnu 16 Feb 13 - 03:01 PM
Amos 16 Feb 13 - 12:17 PM
Acme 16 Feb 13 - 11:23 AM
GUEST,Rapparee 16 Feb 13 - 10:53 AM
Amos 16 Feb 13 - 01:01 AM
gnu 15 Feb 13 - 07:11 PM
JohnInKansas 15 Feb 13 - 06:43 PM
Little Hawk 15 Feb 13 - 11:09 AM
Rapparee 15 Feb 13 - 09:06 AM
Amos 15 Feb 13 - 01:20 AM
Little Hawk 15 Feb 13 - 12:29 AM
Rapparee 14 Feb 13 - 09:44 PM
Little Hawk 14 Feb 13 - 02:18 PM
Little Hawk 14 Feb 13 - 01:40 PM
Acme 14 Feb 13 - 12:46 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 13 - 08:37 AM
Eiseley 14 Feb 13 - 08:24 AM
Little Hawk 13 Feb 13 - 09:29 PM
gnu 13 Feb 13 - 07:06 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 13 - 06:51 PM
Amos 13 Feb 13 - 06:08 PM
Little Hawk 13 Feb 13 - 03:45 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 13 - 02:46 PM
Little Hawk 13 Feb 13 - 01:50 PM
Eiseley 13 Feb 13 - 12:49 PM
Amos 13 Feb 13 - 12:30 PM
Acme 13 Feb 13 - 12:03 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 13 - 04:00 AM

I give up. WHat exactly has Rap just finished doing with his myriad Hummels? If this is the same Myriad Hummels he was seen with under the bleachers at the high school football championship ion his youth, he'd better be grounded right away. She was a white tornado then, when she was seventeen, and I doubt she has matured one whit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 13 - 01:01 PM

Rap, I would jump on that $50 offer Chongo made if I were you. Cheap at the price. You'll never get a better offer than that, and think of the rewards to both your lifestyle and your state of mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 19 Feb 13 - 11:56 AM

Why has gnu got his football shirt on inside out?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 13 - 11:48 AM

Never, LH, have so many agents produced so little fact.

I have just finished myriad, a virtual overdose, of Hummel figurines. Nobody, especially a plague carrying monkey, had better mess with me right now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 13 - 11:39 AM

My special agents have informed me that Rap has built a little shrine to Chongo, and he kneels down before it 3 times a day in mute adoration.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 19 Feb 13 - 11:30 AM

Just can't go on without me, can ya, Rap? I am always on yer mind, cos you need a shinin' role model like me to give you some direction in life. I get that. Tell ya what. If you are willin' to pay me a monthly stipend...say a mere $50 each month...I will send ya regular updates on how to improve yerself, make yer dull life more excitin', dress with a little style fer a change, get dates with sharp-lookin' dames, and all that good stuff.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 13 - 11:00 AM

You seem a tad bitter, as well as just a smidgen hallucinatory, O Booquemanne. You need to sing more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 13 - 09:25 AM

Did I say "chimpanzee"? I meant "monkey." Sorry about that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 13 - 07:49 AM

GOOD morning, Mom! I notice that filthy, flea-ridden chimpanzee hasn't been around for a while and neither has that filthy, flea-ridden foulness from Blind River. Perhaps they are now picking fleas off each other in a love nest in Sassaquatch, New Jersey or somewhere else that equals them in dinginess, depression, and dirt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 13 - 08:55 PM

So the sores weren't caused by lues! That's great news! What did cause them?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 13 - 07:27 PM

Maureen? She's fine. And thanks for going to all that "your'n" trouble, but I assure you I am in good health and order in all respects, andI thank you (more or less) for asking. If you really have an impulse to go running around diagnosing people's STDs and such, I suggest you take a visit up to Blind River. It's not far from you, philosophically speaking, and I am sure they could use your help.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 13 - 07:17 PM

Amos, your genitals are not my concern but your'n. My concern is your health and, because you are not quarantined, the health of the public at large.

By the way, how's that San Diego mayor who embezzled all that money doing?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Feb 13 - 06:48 PM

I tried to translate that with Bing, Rap. I had to reboot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 13 - 06:37 PM

Gee, Rapp, you seem to have an obsessive preoccupation with your delusions about my genitals. Maybe you should get help, but not from me. Much too far, anyway. I suppose imaginary chimps is bad enough, but chasing after imaginary phalli is a bridge too far, my friend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Feb 13 - 01:14 PM

Careful, Rap. That condition you described could be brought on by eating too many oysters. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 13 - 11:49 AM

That is not to imply that YOU have a "social disease", Amos. I'm sure that those are not luetic lesions. They're almost certainly just epidermal vesicular eruptions, purulent exudate from duct punctum due to sialadenitis or even something as simple as mycobacterium lepromatosis. So don't worry about it. I didn't mean to say anything bad about your health habits.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 13 - 07:46 AM

Stripers, to other folks, Amos. And a little mercury is good for you -- helps you come back together when you've gone off in all different directions. It'll also cure your, your, ah, social diseases -- you know the old saying, "A night with Venus and a lifetime with Mercury." I don't have, and never have had, that problem -- I'm just dropping a hint for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 13 - 09:48 PM

"For" or "as a result of"? Those rockfish...well, I wouldn't, me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 13 - 09:06 PM

But Paula does have job security -- people are just dying for her to take care of them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 13 - 01:27 PM

Paula, oh might gnu, is a nurse and a nun. She's been both for about 40 years, 20 of which she has spent as a hospice nurse. She's nuts, of course.

She liked my idea of "I'm a trained hospice nurse -- everybody close in and don't give him any air!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 07:44 PM

Mum's SIlence is often Golden, even with bubbles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 05:09 PM

"it affects cellular service" You need to turn on a light and put on your glasses to dial.

As for Paula, my comments are not only childish but predictable so


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 04:10 PM

Yes, and as soon as I can I'll return his call of last night. The sky here has been cloudy and believe it or not it affects cellular service.

In the meantime I'm going to enjoy fried fresh oysters and rockfish a la Paula for dinner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 03:01 PM

Heard a brief word from Sev Friday morn. Had to see to Mum in 5 minutes. Came back for a cup of tea and messaged I had to go back for a couple of hours to do housework. He said we'd chat when I wasn't all Mum'd up. Typical Sev, eh? Hehehehe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 12:17 PM

The savage Severn Savage met the bay years ago, but he has since lost weight.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 11:23 AM

The Severn Savage has been trying to catch up with you, though. Try giving him a call again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 10:53 AM

I sit here, where the Severn meets the Bay, gazing across the water and simply enjoying the quiet.

Eat your hearts out!

Oh, that's the Severn River, not the Severn Savage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 13 - 01:01 AM

You look one helluva lot younger than you useter, Gnuzer. You've beren playing Dylan records backwards, haven't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Feb 13 - 07:11 PM

Top two photos courtesy of olddude.

I never was a fan of autographs or such. I was never star struck. But, when I picked that puppy... a GAME JERSEY... a GAME!!! jersey... from the AFC championship!!!... out of my mailbox today, I felt like a little kid at Christmas!

I have been all over town visiting friends. Jacket fully zipped up and doing the striptease stuff... slowly, until I bare the autograph. Then I point to the messed up threads and say, "Courtesy of the Baltimore Ravens."

Yeah... it sounds silly, even to me in a way... but... little kid feelings seriously!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 15 Feb 13 - 06:43 PM

Most will probably have heard about the cruise ship that was stranded for a while, and the "inconveniences" suffered by the passengers.

A new note on the event:

Stepping off the Carnival Triumph — the filthy, sweltering cruise ship that was stranded in the Gulf of Mexico for five days after an engine fire knocked out power — wasn't the end of the travel nightmare for some passengers.

A bus carrying Triumph passengers from Mobile, Ala., where the ship docked late Thursday, to New Orleans broke down Friday, Carnival Cruise Lines confirmed to NBC News.

Have a nice trip.

John


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Feb 13 - 11:09 AM

Yes, it has incredible, silent strength...rather like a Dachshund who is slowly taking over the center of the bed by shoving you over to the edge...

Amos, I keep waiting for the day when you will moult, thus becoming unable to swan for a period of time until your new feathers come in. Nice alliterative bloviation in that last post! Not even Septimus Bilgeroar himself could do better than that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 13 - 09:06 AM

Ten feet wide and the water will do the work for you. Even a foot wide if it were a few feet down from the top. Don't make it more difficult to destroy the dam than it needs to be.

(I've walked levees during floods on the Mississippi and very, very much respect the power that water has in destroying things designed to stop it from going where it wants to go and doing what it wants to do.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 13 - 01:20 AM

Melodramatic metaphors to magnify the megalomaniacal malingering of mellifluous malevolence in the form of fatuous fantasies forced on the febrile. I swan.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Feb 13 - 12:29 AM

I'm semi-familiar with the Dambusters raids, Rap, but what I had in mind was a 300 foot wide hole that goes all the way through the front of the dam. I mean "wide" from left to right...not necessarily the same dimension in terms of depth from front to back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 09:44 PM

It would depend upon where the hole was, of course. Near the bottom a 300 foot wide hole would certainly affect the dam's integrity but might not compromise it to any disastrous extent because of the thickness of the base (remember, it's rather wedge-shaped). It would also make a difference on which side the hole first appeared -- it would be far more of a problem on the upstream side, as water, being incompressible, would hammer against the weakened structure after being "blown back" away from it and thereby cause greater damage than the initial hole would have been. For more information you might check out Operations Chastise and Catechism, carried out by the RAF in WW2, and the operation of the limpet mine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 02:18 PM

Yeah, Blind River is sort of like a wide spot in the road. It probably started the way most small communities did, around a convenient watershed, that being the river that bisects the town. Back then it must have been a peaceful place full of wildlife and beautiful scenery. Indians most likely lived there in those days. Eventually the Whites came along and displaced the Indians, built some cabins and a church and a general store. Generations came and went, and the town slowly grew. Then one day a dark cloud was seen to cover the sky, and an ill wind blew from the East...bringing....

The McBrides! (crash of ominous piano chords)

These shambling ne'er-do-wells and thieving illiterate scum had been driven from their native homes in Ireland during the mid-1800s and had sought refuge from capture and summary justice by fleeing across the gray Atlantic to the far distant shores of Canada. After having alienated themselves in a series of deeply offended communities that stretched all the way from Newfoundland to Eastern Ontario, the surviving McBrides finally found themselves a new home in Blind River. And the place has gone downhill ever since! Alcoholism is rampant, as is teenage pregnancy. Growing pot is the leading cottage industry. The prevalence of extreme stupidity combined with an overweaning sense of entitlement and a penchant for committing reckless acts with no logic or foresight while operating motor vehicles has resulted in a drain on the social services and the justice system which is comparable to what would happen if someone blew a 300 foot wide hole in the Grand Coulee Dam.

Where will it all end?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 01:40 PM

What did I think you meant? Well, sir, I thought you were careening around in your usual frenzy of fantastical lascivious debauchery and lecherous license, of course, what do you think? Rather like Shane, who has pictured himself in all sorts of intimate situations with the same woman, a woman he is as incapable of understanding or relating to as a pig would be when confronted with the writings of Thomas Aquinas.

I'm glad to see that I was mistaken. I hope you learned something useful in the encounter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 12:46 PM

An interesting look at a town that appears to be a wide spot in the road. And why bother to give the restaurant a name? "Restaurant" takes care of all of the information anyone needs. (Down the street from the Library.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 08:37 AM

HAH! Jennifer Dana is quite well read and we discussed everything from global economic markets to Pre-Raphealite poetry and art. Her analysis of "Twelfth Night" was masterly (mistressly?) and she has been preparing a little monograph comparing the the psychology of Canadian and American low-level street criminals that should be extremely well received.

When I left she was intellectually sated -- whatever did you think I meant?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 14 Feb 13 - 08:24 AM

Happy Valentine's Day, MOM!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 09:29 PM

LOL! Boy, what a dreamer... You wouldn't have a chance with her, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 07:06 PM

I suppose saturated would be pornographic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 06:51 PM

Officer Dana was so smitten by my good looks and animal magnetism that she invited me to move on...into her apartment for an intimate dinner and intimate intimacies. When I left her, her appetites had been sated.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 06:08 PM

Actually that's Rapparree when he came through Blind River looking for Shane. Officer Dana advised him to move on and get out of town before anyone learned he was around.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 03:45 PM

That looks like Shane about 25 or 30 years from now, assuming he lasts that long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 02:46 PM

You know, if he'd ask nicely and told them he was doing research about porn on the Internet they probably wouldn't have gotten so upset. Of course, it's easy to become upset with someone like Shame. (That's not him, Shame has far fewer teeth.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 01:50 PM

Yes, that is the famous "liberry" where Shane has had numerous adventures over the years, including the final disastrous incident where he resisted arrest by several extremely irritated police officers by climbing on top of the bookshelves and hurling hardbound books down at them. This was after the "liberrians" had attempted to kick Shane out for surfing Internet porn on library time. He made a big scene about his "rights", so they called the police. The rest is history.

Shane has been limited to begging Don's girlfriends for use of their iPads and similar digital devices since the Great Liberry Fiasco.

Right next door to the library, you can see Michou's Country Treasures, a charming little gift shop that Shane has never entered.

"They ain't flippin' got nothin' in there!"

So...he's never been inside Michou's. He did throw up on their front entrance once, though...after getting kicked out of the Iron Horse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 12:49 PM

I think the Blind River Public Library looks quite charming in the street view.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 12:30 PM

Wotta low-class joint!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Feb 13 - 12:03 PM

If it is congested by Canadian standards it would probably make US transplants feel right at home. :)


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