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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 27 Dec 12 - 08:26 PM
Rapparee 27 Dec 12 - 07:55 PM
Little Hawk 27 Dec 12 - 04:06 PM
gnu 27 Dec 12 - 03:52 PM
Little Hawk 27 Dec 12 - 01:42 PM
Eiseley 27 Dec 12 - 10:38 AM
Rapparee 27 Dec 12 - 09:25 AM
Acme 26 Dec 12 - 05:43 PM
Rapparee 26 Dec 12 - 04:48 PM
Amos 26 Dec 12 - 10:01 AM
Amos 25 Dec 12 - 10:55 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 25 Dec 12 - 10:32 PM
Rapparee 25 Dec 12 - 10:13 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 25 Dec 12 - 09:36 PM
gnu 25 Dec 12 - 07:14 PM
Rapparee 25 Dec 12 - 06:08 PM
Eiseley 25 Dec 12 - 06:06 PM
Rapparee 25 Dec 12 - 03:19 PM
Rapparee 25 Dec 12 - 07:02 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 25 Dec 12 - 01:13 AM
GUEST,999 25 Dec 12 - 12:10 AM
Rapparee 24 Dec 12 - 10:13 PM
gnu 24 Dec 12 - 02:35 PM
Eiseley 24 Dec 12 - 02:22 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 24 Dec 12 - 01:50 PM
Acme 24 Dec 12 - 12:52 PM
Amos 24 Dec 12 - 12:45 PM
Acme 24 Dec 12 - 12:15 PM
Little Hawk 24 Dec 12 - 11:15 AM
Rapparee 24 Dec 12 - 06:38 AM
Little Hawk 24 Dec 12 - 01:44 AM
Eiseley 23 Dec 12 - 11:54 PM
Amos 23 Dec 12 - 11:48 PM
Little Hawk 23 Dec 12 - 10:24 PM
gnu 23 Dec 12 - 09:58 PM
Eiseley 23 Dec 12 - 08:51 PM
Acme 23 Dec 12 - 08:48 PM
Rapparee 23 Dec 12 - 08:44 PM
Eiseley 23 Dec 12 - 08:20 PM
Rapparee 23 Dec 12 - 06:34 PM
gnu 23 Dec 12 - 04:25 PM
Amos 23 Dec 12 - 03:57 PM
Rapparee 23 Dec 12 - 01:49 PM
Amos 23 Dec 12 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 22 Dec 12 - 07:10 PM
Amos 22 Dec 12 - 07:01 PM
Eiseley 22 Dec 12 - 06:33 PM
gnu 22 Dec 12 - 06:02 PM
Acme 22 Dec 12 - 05:43 PM
Eiseley 22 Dec 12 - 04:12 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 08:26 PM

LH... at that, when is the last time ya paid $6.99 a pound? These are "scallop pieces" so they vary in size but they taste just as good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 07:55 PM

The song of winter:

Slip slidin' away
Slip slidin' aaaway
Ya know the nearer your destination
The more you're slip slidin' away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 04:06 PM

It's been a long while since I had scallops.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 03:52 PM

Scallops, scallops are devine. For a pound I pay 6 99, it's maaaaaagic!.

Urp. Bay of Fundy scallops. Mom would like em. I sure do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 01:42 PM

Amos misses such activities dreadfully. He also misses scraping ice off the windows of his car, struggling to open car doors that have frozen shut, making one's way carefully down ice-coated steps, bracing against the freezing winds, squinting one's eyes against the glare on the roads, and battling the dreaded rear-end shimmy as the car begins to lose control and fishtail its way into the guardrail.

It is because of being deprived of all these joys that Amos seeks solace in dens of iniquity such as Starbucks, there to sip morosely his Chai Latte' as he yearns for the distant pleasures of winter.

I'd send him some snowballs in the mail, but I'm afraid they would melt before they got there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 10:38 AM

Good morning! I just finished shoveling the walks and will soon stroll off to work. I'll bet you miss both of those activities, eh Amos?

At two o'clock today my oldest son will lose his smart mouth. All four wisdom teeth will be coming out. He's already looking forward to all the smoothies, but not to the pain and swelling.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 12 - 09:25 AM

Well, guess where I found her!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 05:43 PM

I think she got tired of seeing just us around the house. It's good to get out every year or two (loitering at the bottom of the page doesn't count as "getting out.")


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 04:48 PM

Mom's over at the Mudcat Christmas Tavern, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 10:01 AM

Oh, I'm sorry. That's not what I meant to say. I meant to say Merry Xmas toMom. Sorry.

Merry Xmas, Mom!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 10:55 PM

Luring the semi-real Rapp into argumentation with the wholly unreal Chongo is like asking a bull to have a conversation with a red flag, ole weisenheimer. I recommend against that approach.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 10:32 PM

Rap, I don't know how this could be...but yer nose has got so damn long that the end of it is hangin' down to within an inch of the floor...and that's when yer standin' on a chair! Could it be you been tellin' a few lies? Maybe makin' up stuff about other folk's relatives? Or is it because yer ancestors was matin' with anteaters? Whatever it is, I think you better do somethin', get plastic surgery, lop off the end of it off with a sharp instrument, whatever will do the job. People should not have to look at a schnozz that big, know what I'm sayin'? It's disgustin'.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 10:13 PM

Chonga, you ain't got no family. Your only surviving relative, your sister Chinga, would as soon make you part of a building footing as blow a hole between your eyes large enough to drive a truck through.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 09:36 PM

Good stuff, man. I woulda done the same.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 07:14 PM

This is INDEED a Merry Christmas.

Got through the whole works with only one glitch. The autistic lad didn't wanna eat a proper dinner because he wanted to fly his remote control chopper he was given. He wanted to go back downstairs and play with the wonderful toy he was given. Two adults (yeah, adults? fuck me!) chided him and told him with pursed lips and a SCOWL!... "No. It's impolite!" Why did they give it to him in the first place???

I said, "I gotta move around because my back is tightening up. Will you help me get down the stairs so I can stretch my back, Nick?" They don't fuck with the Chieftan when I make a call. They know they have been told.

I had a ball watching him fly that chopper. And, I brought him some grub... cookies and cakes and stuff when desert was served even tho he was denied it if he didn't eat his dinner. It's kissmeass!

Am I a bad guy or what? Hey, it's Kissmeass and I don't exercise my authority in the clan unless I feel I am right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 06:08 PM

Ein froulicher Weinnachtfest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 06:06 PM

Wesołych Świąt Bożego Narodzenia!

(Polish for Merry Christmas!)

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 03:19 PM

By the way,

MERRY
CHRISTMAS!!!!


y'all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 07:02 AM

There are some good recipes for "bush meat" on the www.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 01:13 AM

gun, man, you goin' crazy? Discardin' a duck? Look, you want duck done right you gotta cook it real sloooooooowwwww. The way you done it, all yer gonna have is a real big piece of greasy shoe leather with a buncha bones inside it.

So, who's up for singin' some Christmas carols? I am at Duffy's, it's after hours, and the place is ROCKIN'!

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,999
Date: 25 Dec 12 - 12:10 AM

There are some really good recipes for squirrel on the www in the event anyone needs a change of pace.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 10:13 PM

Idaho Legion Baked Beans

1. Open can of baked beans.
2. Dump can contents into fireproof container.
3. Put container on fire or other heat source.
4. When the beans are hot eat them.
5. Should've taken it off the fire first, dummy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 02:35 PM

Kent County Duck and Beans

2 servings

1 duck
2 cups beans*
3/4 cup brown sugar (billiant if desired)
1 cup ketchup
1/2 cup water
1 tbsp What'sthishere Sauce
1 green 2 1/2" alder branch**

*beans baked as per your favourite recipe or tinned to save time
** ash or maple accpeptable but ya can't call it "Kent County" style

Preheat oven to 375F (always cook fowl at 375F for safety)
3/8" water in roasting pan
Cut two alder sticks to suit pan to cradle duck for dripings
Mix other ingredients well and drizzle over duck
Brush all beans off duck
Cover and bake 2h15m for medium size duck
Throw the fuckin duck as far out the door as you can and eat the alder sticks and beans.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 02:22 PM

Cranberry Orange Bread

1 orange
1/4 cup sour cream
1/4 cup plain yogurt
1 egg
1 cup sugar
1 cup cranberries, halved or chopped
1/2 cup chopped walnuts or pecans
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda

Preheat the oven to 325. Butter a loaf pan. Grate the rind of the orange into a measuring cup, then juice the orange and add it to the cup. Add the sour cream and yogurt and, if it was a small orange, enough water to make 1 cup.

Beat the egg in a mixing bowl and add the sugar, beating well. Add the dry ingredients, then mix in the orange mixture. Add chopped nuts and cranberries and stir, then spoon into a bread pan and bake for 1 hour.

So delicious! I usually double the recipe and make one loaf with nuts and one without.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 01:50 PM

Hey, latte-boy, you pickin' on yer betters again? Give it a rest. Put some Christmas tunes on the phonograph and relax for a bit.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 12:52 PM

If they swing from the rafters then your best advice will be


Duck!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 12:45 PM

My post, at least, was germane to the topic of ducks; these other ricochets verge on the sheerly insane. Sigh.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 12:15 PM

Looks like a few folks have gotten into the sugary sweets or the holiday liquor cabinet. Can swinging from the rafters be far away? (Eiseley, I hope you'll post or email or PM that cranberry bread recipe.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 11:15 AM

Yes. Imperceptibly. Let us fabricate responsible memes while we dig to elevate morbid substantiality in the light of dross. Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 06:38 AM

If C6H22O11 is the basic structure of sugars, are invert sugars a right- or left-handed chain?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Dec 12 - 01:44 AM

Yes, and when painting bedroom walls from the reverse side, be sure to employ only inverse angular dialectical macaronis.

(See, people? I too am capable of responding with total nonsequitors!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 11:54 PM

Even though the moon is only one-quarter the size of the earth, it is much farther away.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 11:48 PM

Just make sure one leg is both the same before serving, Little Hawk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 10:24 PM

I finally figured out how to properly cook a duck today. The 4rth attempt. You have to cook it slooooowly. That means about 4 hours at only 300 degrees, then a quick searing at 400 for 5 to 10 minutes at the end to make the skin crispy. I also made a glaze for the skin with molasses, honey, soya sauce, and pomegranete juice. Delicious! So this time the duck turned out as it should, juicy and not dry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 09:58 PM

Gosh I am HUNGRY! STOP IT! I lost a hundred pounds! Well, 110 and then gained back 10... yer gonna mess that up again.

But... it might be worth it... sounds soooo good!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 08:51 PM

Yes, Stilly. My boys don't think Christmas is really here unless they can eat slabs of the cranberry orange bread.

My oldest son, who is going to Poland for a year as an exchange student, will probably make it next year for his host families---if I send him a package of cranberries.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 08:48 PM

I had some great scones at Starbucks that were orange cranberry. I went home and figured out how to make them myself. Today my friend Susie brought me a box of lemon blueberry scones and they are equally addictive - I think the citrus makes a great base flavor for baked goods like that. Is your cranberry orange bread one of those recipes that the kids expect every year?

Better give MOM some herbal tea with that slice or she'll be swinging from the rafters. Which brings to mind, one of these days the Mudcat Tavern is going to open up for the holidays and MOM herself is going to go visit the place. Now wouldn't that be a sight to behold?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 08:44 PM

Tomorrow I shall make a salad (for a family dinner) of baby spinach, lightly candied walnuts, dried cranberries, Granny Smith apples, red pears, and a good blue cheese. It will be dressed with a pear vinegarette dressing that has just a touch of gorgonzola to it.

Boiled eggs don't belong in a spinach salad. Mind you, I don't think boiled eggs belong in ANYTHING, but I'm a radical.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 08:20 PM

I'm just slipping a couple of loaves of cranberry orange bread into the oven, Mom. They'll be out in an hour or so, and then you may have a slice and a cup of hot tea.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 06:34 PM

They don't make brandy in England. They do make some decent wine, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 04:25 PM

Apple pie is cheper here at the shops just now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 03:57 PM

Fruitcake is a lovely gift and wise
Fruitcake, oh, fruitcake, forever
A single fruitcake never dies
Fruitcake is my darling!

Fruitcake never causes tears
Fruitcake, oh, fruitcake, forever
A single one lasts a hundred years!
Fruitcake is my darling!

Fruitcake always rings the bells!
Fruitcake, oh, fruitcake, forever
Next year we'll gie it ta someone else.
Oh, fruitcake is my darling!

Fruitcake always brings back thanks
Fruitcake, oh, fruitcake, forever
From nerds and creeps and slugs and skanks,
Fruitcake is my darling!

ANd fruitcake makes you fat and randy
Fruitcake, oh, fruitcake, forever
Because it's soaked in English brandy!
Fruitcake is my darling!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 01:49 PM

It's that fruitcake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 11:27 AM

What the hell, Maw? Why're you slipping like that? You got Alanheimer's?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 07:10 PM

I do hope no one dropped any fruitcake crumbs on the floor. They'd probably go straight through.

See here for details.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 07:01 PM

Miss Eiseley, it is a great delight to once again see your gentle cursive gracing these weary walls. I look forward to hearing from you more often!

I took Maggie Darlin' Dogg out to Fiesta Island today--it is a hige lumpen thing that sticks up in the middle of Mission Bay and is used for various ribald contests and other gatherings over the year. It has a very extensive no-leash shore that goes for miles. Maggie went crazy chasing seagulls, galloping like a wild horse into the water and out, and generally being exhilarated.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 06:33 PM

Don Aslett is 77---born in 1935, as one of the wall signs said. He is full of energy and enthusiasm, and he delighted in taking us into little known areas of the museum, such as into the clock tower or down into the mirror maze. He is quite a guy.

My brother was trying to adjust the piano cover so it would pull out all the way and actually go over the keys. It had been installed incorrectly after I had the piano tuned last month. He had to reach in to prop up the cover with one hand, then adjust a sliding panel with the other hand while moving the knob back and forth with a third hand. The fruitcake tin was the perfect wedge to prop up the cover. Does that explain things, gnu?

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 06:02 PM

"My brother used part of it to fix the piano..."?

Oh, yeah, right. Keep us in suspense.

This is an annoying habit you have. Seriously, we are all paying attention when we read your posts. Keeping us in suspense is akin to teasing. It's like putting wrapped gifts under a Christmas tree before Christmas eve when children are in the house. It's CRUEL I tell you! Don't make me wait until Christmas morning to unwrap my present!

But, if that's the case, and I knowIi will get to unwrap it eventually, I shant be curious or anticipatory at all. It's an odd trait that I developed as a child of about 8 years old. Great story, that. I may tell it some day to you some day. >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 05:43 PM

Don Aslett is a personal hero of mine - I love his books like Clutter's Last Stand. He's quite a philosopher, he doesn't just address stuff, he thinks about why we accumulate it. He must be around 80 by now?

And you're welcome. I'd like to hear how one repairs a piano with a fruitcake. Substitute for wood putty or Spackle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 04:12 PM

I just came back from the world famous Museum of Clean, where Don Aslett himself gave us a guided, impromptu tour. What a place!

The fruitcake arrived at the perfect time. My brother used part of it to fix the piano (long story) and I cut very thin slices for the whole gang. I still have about half of it left to apportion out to the boys on Christmas morning.

Thank you again, Stilly!
Eiseley


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Mudcat time: 22 August 1:18 PM EDT

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