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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 12 Sep 12 - 04:15 PM
gnu 12 Sep 12 - 01:55 PM
Donuel 12 Sep 12 - 12:55 PM
Little Hawk 12 Sep 12 - 12:40 PM
Little Hawk 12 Sep 12 - 12:38 PM
Amos 12 Sep 12 - 11:42 AM
Rapparee 12 Sep 12 - 09:42 AM
Rapparee 12 Sep 12 - 09:36 AM
Rapparee 11 Sep 12 - 10:34 PM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 12 - 12:09 PM
Acme 11 Sep 12 - 11:38 AM
Little Hawk 11 Sep 12 - 11:02 AM
Rapparee 11 Sep 12 - 08:10 AM
gnu 11 Sep 12 - 12:05 AM
gnu 10 Sep 12 - 06:42 PM
Acme 10 Sep 12 - 03:41 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 12 - 10:53 AM
Amos 10 Sep 12 - 10:03 AM
Acme 09 Sep 12 - 11:29 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 12 - 10:15 PM
gnu 09 Sep 12 - 01:29 PM
Amos 09 Sep 12 - 01:18 PM
Amos 09 Sep 12 - 01:14 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 12 - 12:28 PM
Amos 09 Sep 12 - 11:51 AM
Rapparee 08 Sep 12 - 09:23 PM
gnu 08 Sep 12 - 06:32 PM
Amos 08 Sep 12 - 05:16 PM
Little Hawk 08 Sep 12 - 01:11 PM
Rapparee 08 Sep 12 - 09:42 AM
Acme 08 Sep 12 - 12:57 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 07 Sep 12 - 11:17 PM
Rapparee 07 Sep 12 - 06:23 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 07 Sep 12 - 05:45 PM
gnu 07 Sep 12 - 05:17 PM
Amos 07 Sep 12 - 05:05 PM
gnu 07 Sep 12 - 02:06 PM
Rapparee 07 Sep 12 - 02:03 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 07 Sep 12 - 01:11 PM
GUEST,Apollonius of Tyre 07 Sep 12 - 12:28 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 06 Sep 12 - 11:24 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 12 - 10:46 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 12 - 09:11 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 06 Sep 12 - 08:07 PM
gnu 06 Sep 12 - 07:20 PM
Amos 06 Sep 12 - 07:07 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 06 Sep 12 - 06:28 PM
gnu 06 Sep 12 - 05:17 PM
Amos 06 Sep 12 - 02:26 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 12 - 02:00 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 04:15 PM

Gnuzer:

Yer NEwfie chatter just baffled me complete. Are these people Christians? They sound like they might be cannabis or something...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 01:55 PM

Yo, A! Happies atchya!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 12:55 PM

Like Monty Python's Camalot, MOM is a poeticly silly place albeit with much better humor parody and satire than on any of the 1,200 cable channels.

HBD Amos.

The last time I saw you venture out the front door of this sole thread was a year ago when I wrote about "the world's most interesting man" and stuck your name in it.

For many of you I have imagined that you spend up to 8 hours a day on this web site. If you have mastered the time continuem that may not be very much time, but it sure looks like it from this side. It may just prove that time for friends is more precious and timeless than $.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 12:40 PM

Oh...Happy Birthday, Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 12:38 PM

Multi-level facilitating of inner management parameters will empower personnel capability vectors and result in greater financial viability during the projected downturn. Who wants to take this and run with it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 11:42 AM

Thank you all for the birthday wishes.


We got home at midnight, wrung out and bone-weary, a 20-hour day marathon, having driven from Cottonwood to Topange with a fully loaded trailer of stuff, convoying two vehicles all the way, through thunderstorms so thick you couldn't see the side of the road, gotten it all put in storage, tehn hauled the empty trailer thirty-five miles in insane LA traffic jams, still convoying, to finally establish son Tucker in his new digs on the wandering backroads of Topanga Canyon, ready to start his new job in five days. Whoof!! Wotta day!

This morning my dearest wife told me it was my birthday, and I replied, "Why, so it is!! How old am I?". But when she told me I didn't believe her anyway. I figure she had me mixed up with some older man in her life. I plan to keep an eye on that...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 09:42 AM

Six Sigma. Total Quality Management. Enhanced productivity from synergistic teamwork. Trickle down empowerment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 12 - 09:36 AM

Gibberish. Utter gibberish. That's all I'm posting today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 12 - 10:34 PM

Sorry, but I've been up 15 hours straight getting to Silver Spring, MD. I'll translate 'er later.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 12 - 12:09 PM

Other apes can. To us, it just sounds like a bunch of hooting, grunting, and screeching. Kind of like a NASCAR audience or a political party leadership convention.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Sep 12 - 11:38 AM

So someone can understand that patois, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Sep 12 - 11:02 AM

Pretty good, but you haven't heard Chongo talk Bush Ape.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 12 - 08:10 AM

Simple, because I speak fluent nonsense. I'll provide at tranlation when I can listen without awakening everyone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Sep 12 - 12:05 AM

Now. If ye latin spoutin eruditics livin in the land of the free for all and the home of the brave but not the braves on accounta Rap's relatives were efficient (Yes, I agree that is EXteremly PI) (I am speaking to the western most latest drains on society who obtained   pensions from the remaining useful workforce. They are both still filled to overflowing with years of contibutions to our greater good but they foraske us for want of "good times.") was at 'alf of it, eh, what, eh?

Well. You two liguists, ye ain't gonna get no Bing Bling on
this.

Translate dat dere buddy, b'ys. Oi dares yas bot.

Disclaimer : No, LH, you cannot translate. You are a Canuck. You must remain neutered.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Sep 12 - 06:42 PM

That shit ain't worth sheeeeit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Sep 12 - 03:41 PM

Rap, get a U-Haul trailer and bring some back to Idaho for fertilizer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 12 - 10:53 AM

No, I'm headin' to DC -- the REAL capitol of hot air. And organic fertilizer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 12 - 10:03 AM

Alive and well in baking Phoenix. That wonderful town of dry hot air everywhere.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Sep 12 - 11:29 PM

The rest of us will have to hold up the weight of the world while you retirees drift off in to the desert or the sunset or wherever.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 12 - 10:15 PM

Well, I guess I'll just have to continue knowing The Answers to those questions. Amos has done loaded the wagon and headed East, I guess. Hope he makes it; gotta go to DC area myself on Tuesday fer a week fer "family stuff" fer ma wife. We're takin' an airship, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Sep 12 - 01:29 PM

Ya don't get no half a beer for a half wit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 12 - 01:18 PM

Farewell, Mamacita, my hands are not here,
The party was great, there was plenty of beer.
I am off to the highway to the far desert sands,
In far Arizona you'll soon find my hands!
The party is over, and I'm on the trail,
Farewell Mamacita
I am off to the east,
With the cholla and quail.
Farewell, Mamacita, I'll drink one more toast,
While my hands are a-wandering
I can't write a post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 12 - 01:14 PM

I can answer them all except the one about Rapparee, which has a flawed premise in it somewhere. Can't quite get my wits around it. So I'll accept half a beer.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 12 - 12:28 PM

Amos, now that you have retired you will have time to delve deeply into the Eternal Questions. Such questions as: Why am I here? What is the nature of sentient life? Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-bop? What was before the Big Bang? Why is Rapparee such a clear, logical, and deep thinker? What happens to the "I" after death? Who put the ram in the ram-a-lama-ding-dong? What is the true nature of Charity? What is Love? Is it possible to step in the same river twice? What is outside of existence as we know it? If you CAN answer all of these I'll give you a beer at Getaway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 12 - 11:51 AM

Your sense of "need" is dramatically egocentric, sir. But I am not surprised...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 12 - 09:23 PM

Fish need bicycles! Why wouldn't they? So do snakes and whales and dolphins and mermaids and birds. Geez, you people! You just don't think things through!

Now I think things through. That's why I know that the above, and more, need bicycles. A cute chimp on a bicycle, or a circus bear...they need bicycles to entertain us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Sep 12 - 06:32 PM

Sounds like carping to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Sep 12 - 05:16 PM

Is a bird free from the chains of the skyway?

Does a fish know about water?

Or need a bicycle?

Only the Shadow knows for sure...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Sep 12 - 01:11 PM

Does a bird worry about whether it's "the weekend" or not?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Sep 12 - 09:42 AM

Trust me, Stilly -- it gets so you can't. Why, if it weren't for your appointments with doctors, dentists, hearing aid people, Social Security, wheel chair vendors, surgeons, and bill collectors you really wouldn't know what day it is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Sep 12 - 12:57 AM

So, Amos, if you no longer have a work week, you won't have a week-end either. How ever will you be able to tell the days apart?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 07 Sep 12 - 11:17 PM

If you are implyin' that we should resort to some sorta ritualized violence over this, Rap, I hafta remind you that it is against my principles to show violence to members of the female gender. I also gotta remind you that you insulted me first. I would be willin' to accept a modest apology from you for havin' done that and then just forget about the whole thing.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 12 - 06:23 PM

My Dear Mr. Chonga,

I am attempting to find an explanation for your insult to me, and, hence, to the company kept here, for as you surely must have learned as part of your upbringing, an insult given to anyone in company is an insult to the company as much as to the one insulted. Good breeding demands nothing less, for otherwise civility would die.

You have insulted me and through me all who post on MOAB, indeed, you have insulted Mother Herself.

Please tender an acceptable explanation or be prepared to settle this matter in other ways.

Sincerely yours,
Rapparee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 07 Sep 12 - 05:45 PM

I am tryin' to make some sense outta yer protestations, Rap. It ain't easy. All I can come up with, since you feel I have insulted women by my insults to you is this: you must BE a woman. This surprises me. I had always figgered you for a man, cos there are very few women in this world who would have so little sense as to say some of the dumbass things you have said to me, but I guess anything is possible.

So...has it been easy masqueradin' as a man all these years? I bet it's been a lotta work. Now that you've "come out" and revealed yer true gender, are you gonna write a tell-all book about it?

Anyways, considerin' that you apparently are a woman, I will hafta show you a little more courtesy in future...but don't expect me to ask you out to dinner, okay?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Sep 12 - 05:17 PM

Congrats. Shoot for the star.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Sep 12 - 05:05 PM

No time, indeed, is better than now
The bills are paid, the straps laid low,
The collar cast, the harness off,
There's an off-shore breeze, and a star aloft.

They key's been turned, and handed in
The desk is clear of task and sin,
The files are filed, and handed off,
There's an offshore breeze, and a star aloft.

The forms are signed, the checks received
The party's done, the cheers and grief,
The farewell hard smiles, and the soft,
There's an offshore breeze, and a star aloft.

The boss came out to the farewell din
ANd threw his kindly humor in,
And my friends walked out, to see me off.
There's an offshore breeze.
And a star, aloft.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Sep 12 - 02:06 PM

Apollonius, my old friend
Step on in and let me shake your hand
So glad that you're here again for one more time
Let your madness run with mine
Streets still unseen, we'll find somehow
No time is better than now

With apollogies to Steely Dan (yes, I did).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 12 - 02:03 PM

Dear Mr. Chonga,

Maybe you oughta get down on yer knees and pray some about it...a little honest contrition should set ya on the right path.

Okay, jerkface....I just found a nice video here of yer girlfriend:


The implication that "a little honest contrition" might set me "on the right path" is more than somewhat insulting as I have never knowingly strayed from the path of righteousness.

I have found several definitions of the term "jerkface"; none of them are complimentary. This definition is one:

One who abuses his girlfriend, quits his job so he doesn't have to pay child support, bails on his rent, and is an overall douchemonkey

Please explain why you are insulting me. I await your reply.

Sincerely yours,
Rapparee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 07 Sep 12 - 01:11 PM

Yer a real little ray of sunshine, aintcha, Appollonius?

The best reason to celebrate is this: It's a lot more fun to enjoy the moment than it is to sit around moanin' about how it ain't gonna last!

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Apollonius of Tyre
Date: 07 Sep 12 - 12:28 PM

Good day to you all.

I have been informed that some one of you will be celebrating today. Remember that all is dross, and this celebration will be as but ashes in the mouth of celebrant. Life is made to be lived, to be endured, and you should thank the Gods that it is short and as free of pain as it is for it could be much worse. Bear it, for the Gods would not have you shorten it by deliberate action save to preserve yourself from worse.

That is all I have to say. Enjoy as you will, for it will not last.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 Sep 12 - 11:24 PM

Which specific comments of mine you referrin' to, Rap? And I want 'em in quotes. What I am sayin' is: you got nothin' like that on me.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 12 - 10:46 PM

Aaaaaaaaaamos...tomorrow.....it happens tomorrow, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 12 - 09:11 PM

Chonga, I'm married and have been for quite some time. I don't have a girl friend and haven't had for the same length of time I've been married. I do have women friends, however.

I demand an explanation of your comments, as I found them to be most ungracious and insulting not only to me but to the women of MOAB and women in general.

Thank you,
Rapparee


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 Sep 12 - 08:07 PM

You think I'm bein' too easy on him, dontcha? Well, that's the kind of ape I am...basically a nice guy, patient, sensitive to others' feelings...to a point.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Sep 12 - 07:20 PM

CHONGO! STOP MONKEYING AROUND! ".... degenerated into a Facebook thread." is not quite stern enough... lashes! 40 lashes with a wet noodle!!! Maybe more.

That was uncalled for, sir!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 12 - 07:07 PM

The greatest tragedy in the history of the Mudcat Café--The Mother of all BS has degenerated into a Facebook thread.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 06 Sep 12 - 06:28 PM

That first link of yers is one of the most specist and insultin' things I have ever seen, Rap. They musta photoshopped the gut on that monkey. What a horrible sight! Geez, I feel sick lookin' at it...

Okay, jerkface....I just found a nice video here of yer girlfriend:

Nice tooth!

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Sep 12 - 05:17 PM

The Seaway... the CAF... Ungava... Prince Rupert's Land... and more, Rap. It's complicated. They say they deserve and want the Seaway, thier forces, the territories placed under their jusrisdiction when they joined Confederation but will they get them? They would not have under, say, Trudeau, but we are talking Harper and he is not to be trusted. He would sell his mother's jewellry before the funeral.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 12 - 02:26 PM

Behold, a friendship made in Heaven!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 12 - 02:00 PM

Well, Chonga ol' buddy, here's a song for you! And here's another.


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Mudcat time: 19 September 10:21 PM EDT

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