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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 07 Aug 12 - 10:30 PM
Rapparee 07 Aug 12 - 10:10 PM
gnu 07 Aug 12 - 08:13 PM
Rapparee 07 Aug 12 - 05:30 PM
Acme 07 Aug 12 - 05:06 PM
Amos 07 Aug 12 - 03:00 PM
Rapparee 07 Aug 12 - 01:39 PM
Amos 07 Aug 12 - 01:23 PM
Amos 07 Aug 12 - 09:59 AM
Acme 07 Aug 12 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 07 Aug 12 - 09:34 AM
gnu 07 Aug 12 - 06:20 AM
Rapparee 06 Aug 12 - 06:03 PM
Amos 06 Aug 12 - 03:28 PM
Rapparee 06 Aug 12 - 03:16 PM
Amos 05 Aug 12 - 08:41 PM
Rapparee 05 Aug 12 - 07:51 PM
gnu 05 Aug 12 - 07:44 PM
Rapparee 05 Aug 12 - 07:23 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 05 Aug 12 - 04:58 PM
gnu 05 Aug 12 - 04:18 PM
Rapparee 05 Aug 12 - 03:59 PM
Amos 05 Aug 12 - 01:51 PM
Acme 05 Aug 12 - 01:31 PM
Amos 05 Aug 12 - 01:21 PM
Rapparee 04 Aug 12 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 04 Aug 12 - 02:45 PM
Little Hawk 04 Aug 12 - 01:50 PM
Amos 04 Aug 12 - 12:55 PM
Rapparee 04 Aug 12 - 10:13 AM
Rapparee 03 Aug 12 - 04:46 PM
Amos 03 Aug 12 - 01:10 PM
Acme 03 Aug 12 - 12:26 PM
Acme 03 Aug 12 - 12:26 PM
Acme 03 Aug 12 - 12:24 PM
Amos 03 Aug 12 - 11:57 AM
Acme 03 Aug 12 - 11:11 AM
Amos 03 Aug 12 - 10:34 AM
Rapparee 03 Aug 12 - 09:40 AM
Rapparee 02 Aug 12 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 12 - 06:09 PM
Amos 02 Aug 12 - 03:45 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 12 - 02:30 PM
Acme 02 Aug 12 - 12:22 PM
Amos 02 Aug 12 - 11:50 AM
Rapparee 02 Aug 12 - 10:00 AM
Acme 02 Aug 12 - 12:54 AM
Rapparee 02 Aug 12 - 12:16 AM
Amos 01 Aug 12 - 11:41 AM
Rapparee 01 Aug 12 - 09:09 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 10:30 PM

Stilly leaves us all behind
Leaving us a gap to mind'
Minding gaps is really silly
I'd prefer to be minding Stilly!

If you haven't read Cloud Atlas, do so at your first opportunity. ALso, in the too-literate-to-be-a-thriller, try The Bookman's Wake; tightly written, literate, fast-paced. It made me think of the Rapparree.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 10:10 PM

And I've stood on the bow of a small (<100 people) cruise ship as it picked its way down the Tombigbee River in early morning, the red sun of early morning just high enough to begin dissolving the haze, watching the gentle wake of the ship touch the logs ashore -- and watching the "logs" blink in response....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 08:13 PM

"And I love the sound they make, swishing along and swaying gently."

And the lurch and shudder when they hit piled up pack ice followed by the screach of ice along the hull such as a million fingernails on a blackboard amplified to ten.

It IS majestic to watch from the bridge as the ice is broken ahead in ever changing patterns of deep blue branches that separate glistening silver sheets under a full moon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 05:30 PM

Mind the gap....

Okay, gap. What do you want me to do? I mind real good. In fact I mind quite a bit. Why should I do what a gap tells me to do? Who or what is this gap anyway? I'll mind whatever I want to mind, not some gap, even if Stilly tells me to mind it. I'm a big boy now and I don't have to mind some stupid gap! So there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 05:06 PM

Why do the producers of the most lucid articles in our cultures, BOOKS, give the job of naming the discs to cretins who don't use the same format each time and who misspell the titles and authors? If I don't catch it now, the book won't play in order. i.e., The Martian Chronicals [sic] on six discs, misspelled on four of them.

I'll be out of town for a few days, so please keep MOM afloat if I don't manage to check in. I'll have the laptop and can check there, but no way I want to jam up my phone by accidentally loading the netire MOAB!

:) For those in the know, please mind the gap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 03:00 PM

I bad-mouthed them? You're the doter who called them kayaks, mein fine-feathered friend.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 01:39 PM

Too bad you bad-mouthed the Alaska State Ferry system, ain't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 01:23 PM

And I love the sound they make, swishing along and swaying gently.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 09:59 AM

Western Civ just wouldn't be the same without her ferries. Who'd do the interior design?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 09:46 AM

As much as I love them, I can't count the number of times I've been on ferries. You have to come from a place where they are a regular part of the state highway system to understand that sentiment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 09:34 AM

I was a passenger on several Alaska ferries (note correct spelling and word): MVs Columbia, Fairweather (a catamaran), and others. On one, from Homer to Kodiak, the vehicles were driven onto a lift, lowered (or raised, they could do both!), the lift rotated, and you drove off and parked where they told you. You had to BACK onto the lift to get off. SMALL ferry.

Homer, Alaska is as far West as you can drive in continental North America without getting wet (you could drive there from Key West). It's literally the End Of The Road. The last time I was there the End Of The Road was blocked by a Budweiser truck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Aug 12 - 06:20 AM

"What were you doing on the icebreaker?"

I worked with ferries for seven years. Senior Civil Engineer for design, contract documents and project management of construction/maintenance/rehab of docks, harbour protection structures, buildings, passenger and commercial vehicle marshalling, lighting, field electrical distribution structures, pavements, water & sewer, sewage treatment, fuel tank farm containment structures, fuel pipelines, waste oil recovery, others... I jack off all trades.

MV Caribou and her sister ship were lovely punts. Bulbous bow ro-ro ferries that could break nasty ice and knock out 28+ knots in ca'm water. No good for fly fishing tho. GOTTA tell ya this one... dry dock in Halifax... MV Smallwood was on blocks... when we got to the bow and were looking up at this dwarfing monster, one of the lads quipped, "So this is the last thing a seal sees eh?"

I worked in Cape Tormentine, Borden, Yarmouth, Bar Harbor (note incorrect spelling), Digby, Saint John, North Sydney, Port-aux-Basques, Argentia, Lewisporte, and Goose Bay. Had fun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 12 - 06:03 PM

Mom wants "that good BD"?????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 12 - 03:28 PM

Oh, you tinhorn--I was insulting YOU!!

Oh, get up, Mama, get up and go,
It just ain't right for you to swing so low,
Tell me how long, do I have to wait?
Will you keep me in the dark,
Or elucidate?

Now my old Mom is a terror, I guess,
She don't want nothing but that good BD
Tell me how long, do I have to wait?
Will you keep me in the dark,
Or elucidate?

Nickel's worth a small bag, up on the shelf
You want any more you gotta write it yo'selg
Tell me how long, do I have to wait?
Will you keep me in the dark,
Or elucidate?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 12 - 03:16 PM

Amos, I suggest you never go to Alaska. They don't take kindly to folks insulting their ferry system that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 12 - 08:41 PM

NEver mind, Gnuser--it's just a fat-ass passenger liner cruising up the HEcate Strait.

What were you doing on the icebreaker?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 12 - 07:51 PM

Must be the Canadian part of the Internet. Try http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll4tb9Gy050&feature=related


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Aug 12 - 07:44 PM

IE cannot display the page.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 12 - 07:23 PM

You'll get there any day now -- there's a prison there and I'm certain that you, Chongao, will be breaking up the rocks.

Last kayak I was on was Real Alaskan, not one of these neon-colored float tubes!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 05 Aug 12 - 04:58 PM

GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man, I gotta get down to...where was it? Illinois. Illinois? That's my home state! GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Aug 12 - 04:18 PM

This is the last kayak I was in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Aug 12 - 03:59 PM

My brother figgers them old timers of long ago said, "Screw it! We're bustin' our asses and mules and it works out to less than an Irishman makes after his boozing! We're outa here!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 12 - 01:51 PM

I concur, Still. There are plenty of rivers running through Texas that would be fine kayaking adventures...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Aug 12 - 01:31 PM

If I were Amos and he were in North Texas, finding a body of water for the kayak sounds like a great idea. Have to avoid all of the power boats, though. Texas is crummy with them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Aug 12 - 01:21 PM

I've mined and assayed in Kern County, and I can tell you that that level may be profitable now, but it sure wasn't back then. We busted our asses breaking and digging and picking quartz veins, and melting out samples. The direct path to profitability, which we couldn't use for good reason, is cyanide leaching.

As the song says,

"I nearly starved to death, boys,
He did mistreat me so.
An' I never saved a dollar up...
In the pay of Diamond Joe."

And thanks for the really wonderful Name Post!! It made my heart swell up! LOL



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Aug 12 - 10:31 PM

The Legend Of The Lost Silver Mine

It was back around 1840, or so the old timers say. Three men were kinda quiet about what they were doing out in the hills, but they seemed to have money. At least, they'd leave town and come back with money. Solid, good money, not notes from some bank that could fold up any minute. They were good folks, and one day they packed up and left town, never to be seen again.

Nobody really knew their names, but that was to be expected at that time and place. Sometimes it was better not to inquire to deeply into someone's past or present.

Word finally sort of drifted back to town that the three men were mining silver. They'd melt it out of the ore and take the raw silver to the city and exchange it at the banks for dollars. The farmers of the area doubted it, and eventually it passed into legend and even then was nearly forgotten.
----------------------------------
Our friend Niles heard about it from an OLD old-timer and he told my brother. Both of them being retired gentlemen (and slightly just this side of totally nuts) they collected some likely-looking rocks. My brother gave half of one and some blue-tinted stuff that appeared to be sandstone to his oldest daughter (who works in a water testing lab) for a quick field test with nitric acid.

The blue-tinted stuff came up as...just an odd colored sandstone. The other, however, seemed to include silver!

So the other half of the likely chunk was sent off for a fire assay. The results are back: 0.003 troy ounces GOLD per ton of rock and 0.004 troy ounces of silver. Seems like the legend may have had some truth to it!

Obviously I haven't told you the location. I will say that it's somewhere in Illinois (!!) in a belt 200 miles wide that stretches from Quincy to Danville.

I don't want to be the cause of The Great Central Illinois Gold Rush Of 2012.

(Note too that the lowest currently profitable level of gold ore per ton of rock is 0.025 in Kern County, California. That's just a teeny bit more than the assay results my brother has!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Aug 12 - 02:45 PM

❦AMOS! AMOS!❦


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Aug 12 - 01:50 PM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMOSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 12 - 12:55 PM

I love it when you ut my name in capital letters. It makes me feel all special, like. Do it again!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Aug 12 - 10:13 AM

Alright, Mom! Cadging smokes from gutter bums and you all the while supported by that lamp post, down among the dregs of the BS section! You're lucky I got there before the paddy wagon turned the corner or we'd be bailing you out of the drunk tank again! Look at you! Just look at you! The stains on you chin tell me that you've even been chewing tobacco and dipping snoose again! And you reek of cheap beer and booze! You're disgracing the...what? AMOS is still down there somewhere? HE took you there, got drunk, passed out, and you ROLLED him? Hehe...I mean, you rolled AMOS? Waddidya git? Anything good? Ooooooh...he really DOES love his kayak, doesn't he? And he knows the sea in the Biblical sense! What else is in his wallet? C'mon, lemme see!....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Aug 12 - 04:46 PM

Well, I had blood sucked from my body early this morning and money sucked from my charge card later. But some was for books, so that's okay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 12 - 01:10 PM

I yam taking credit for an assist.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 12 - 12:26 PM

45554


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 12 - 12:26 PM

You can see it coming now, I think . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 12 - 12:24 PM

Yes. An elegant name for Worm Poop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 12 - 11:57 AM

Indeed, and apologies for the missing "t". Castings. Yes. Organic, for sure. Plants, check.

I am vewwy tiwed and wanna sweep. But duties call from every point. Ah, woe, no rest for the wicked. Nor even for the bright and virtuous sons of Mom.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Aug 12 - 11:11 AM

"Worm castings!" Now you're speaking my organic gardener language. They're very good for your garden.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 12 - 10:34 AM

Worm casings!

BTW if you have not read Cloud Atlas, by David Mitchell I recommend it most highly. A tour de force.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Aug 12 - 09:40 AM

Vampires! Vampyres!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 10:31 PM

GREENWOOD
Peter Yarrow- ©1973 Pepamar Music ASCAP

I've seen a thousand people kneel in silence
And I've seen them face the rifles with their songs
I always thought that we could end the killing
But now I live in fear that I was wrong

The killer and the cynic waltz together
Their eyes are turned into their skulls
They do not feel the bullets in the bodies
They do not hear the dolphins or the gulls

If we do these things in the greenwood,
what will happen in the dry?

If we don't stop there'll come a time when women
With barren wombs will bitterly rejoice
With breasts that dry and never fill with promise
Gladly they'll not suckle one more life

Is this then the whimper and the ending?
The impotence of people raised on fear,
A fear that blinds the sense of common oneness
Common love and life or death are here

If we do these things in the greenwood,
what will happen in the dry?

Will no one light the candle in the darkness
Will no one be my guide, not let me fall
I've lost the sense that tells me where the path is
I feel the chill of winter in my soul

There's no way I can say the words more plainly
There's no one left to point at anymore
It's you and me and we must make the choice now
And not destroy the life we're living for

If we do these things in the greenwood,
what will happen in the dry?
If we do these things in the greenwood,
what will happen in the dry?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 06:09 PM

Exactement, mon vieux, exactement. Como un caballero no voy a explicar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 03:45 PM

Oublier je disais quelque chose autour de les demoiselles...il y a quelques-unes truc le meilleur pas regardé en trop de profondément

"Forget I said some thing around some ladies...there are someones thing the better not viewed in too much deepness."


Ah, les Americains!! Quelle finesse!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 02:30 PM

Oublier je disais quelque chose autour de les demoiselles...il y a quelques-unes truc le meilleur pas regardé en trop de profondément.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 12:22 PM

These days an unearthed tree frog wouldn't shiver in the sunlight, it would shrivel into a raisin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 11:50 AM

I love it when his literary soul is temporarily exposed, shivering in the sunlight like an unearthed treefrog...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 10:00 AM

I know the art of metapyrics...does that count? I learned it when I was very young. When I was young and innocent and before I lost my youth and winning grin to The Knowledge Of The World and the defenses of poesy of Phillip Sidney. Oh, to have again my youthful innocence and joy! Alas, it is all lost to me now, buried under the rubble of a life, if not well-lived, at least fully lived! So I shall not lament and weep for what once was, and shall simply let the pen of Time write "Paid" to those poker winnings (and the interest appertaining thereto) owed to me since 1966 and to the allegations that my four aces were obtained by manual dexterity and the use of a shiner rather than a smile from Dame Fortune. Oh, ou est l'argent (et les demoiselles) d'antan?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 12:54 AM

I love that one Amos. You need to record it.

It hit 109 here today. It's getting a little warmish again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 12:16 AM

Mom! Hanging around with failed drug tests and Mitt Romney! Really!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 11:41 AM

(Fade in, Eagles-style steels and guitar backup)

Desperado--
You better come to your senses.
You been mixing up tenses
And confusing the truth
ANd ya know, freedom?
Well, it's yours for the betting
But there's no sense regretting
Your long-vanished youth.

Don't ya mess around with honesty
It won't getcha where you're going
THe open straight is always your best shot.
And it seems to me you oughta try
To do a better job of knowing
'Cause it's never cool to tell yourself you're hot. Oh,

Desperado,
You oughta take up line dancin'
And foreswear naked prancing
In the meadow at night.
'Cause ya know, moonlight,
Well, it just doesn't suit ya,
And some rancher might shoot ya
Before the dawn light.

Whatcha really truly do deserve
Is to live in some fine mansion
Where the servants all run hot and cold for you
But you'll never make that scene until
You learn the art of scansion
And rhyme and maybe metaphorics, too!

Oh, Desperado...(fade out on loop)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 09:09 AM

No, I'm a gun-flinger. I fling guns at people. Got New York Jake right in the tummy with a .45 just yesterday afternoon. Used the old side-arm throw from the left side, like a frisbee. Doubled him right over.


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