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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,Rosarita the Waitress 09 Nov 11 - 10:39 AM
Rapparee 09 Nov 11 - 10:36 AM
Amos 09 Nov 11 - 10:12 AM
Rapparee 09 Nov 11 - 06:15 AM
GUEST,Miguel the waiter 09 Nov 11 - 12:19 AM
Amos 08 Nov 11 - 11:18 PM
Rapparee 08 Nov 11 - 09:53 PM
Amos 08 Nov 11 - 08:24 PM
gnu 08 Nov 11 - 06:35 PM
Little Hawk 08 Nov 11 - 06:17 PM
Amos 08 Nov 11 - 05:49 PM
Little Hawk 08 Nov 11 - 04:56 PM
Acme 08 Nov 11 - 03:21 PM
gnu 08 Nov 11 - 02:28 PM
Rapparee 08 Nov 11 - 02:26 PM
Amos 08 Nov 11 - 02:15 PM
Rapparee 08 Nov 11 - 08:49 AM
Little Hawk 07 Nov 11 - 11:03 PM
Rapparee 07 Nov 11 - 10:57 PM
Amos 07 Nov 11 - 10:10 PM
Rapparee 07 Nov 11 - 09:16 PM
Amos 07 Nov 11 - 08:52 PM
Little Hawk 07 Nov 11 - 05:49 PM
gnu 07 Nov 11 - 04:26 PM
Acme 07 Nov 11 - 10:14 AM
Rapparee 07 Nov 11 - 09:16 AM
Little Hawk 06 Nov 11 - 11:27 PM
Amos 06 Nov 11 - 11:15 PM
Rapparee 06 Nov 11 - 09:53 PM
Rapparee 06 Nov 11 - 09:29 PM
Little Hawk 06 Nov 11 - 08:40 PM
Acme 06 Nov 11 - 06:45 PM
Amos 06 Nov 11 - 04:56 PM
Rapparee 06 Nov 11 - 03:54 PM
Little Hawk 06 Nov 11 - 11:46 AM
Amos 06 Nov 11 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 06 Nov 11 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 05 Nov 11 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 05 Nov 11 - 10:26 PM
Amos 05 Nov 11 - 10:10 PM
Little Hawk 05 Nov 11 - 07:44 PM
Rapparee 05 Nov 11 - 06:55 PM
Little Hawk 05 Nov 11 - 04:08 PM
Amos 05 Nov 11 - 01:58 PM
Little Hawk 05 Nov 11 - 12:50 PM
Charley Noble 05 Nov 11 - 09:21 AM
Rapparee 05 Nov 11 - 08:43 AM
Amos 05 Nov 11 - 01:39 AM
Little Hawk 04 Nov 11 - 11:26 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 11 - 10:02 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rosarita the Waitress
Date: 09 Nov 11 - 10:39 AM

Miguel! Who said you can wait on or bus MOM's Table? That's MY territory!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 11 - 10:36 AM

help im being held captive at the salt lake airport by southwest airlines because my flite hasnt left yet


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 11 - 10:12 AM

Whether you are contributing to my being or not is the least of my worries, Sir Booques.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 11 - 06:15 AM

Milwaukee, then Indiana to pick up a car to go visit family and then back to Indiana for Thanksgiving and home on the 26th. Don't fret any, Amos, I'll have my netbook with me and I'll be able to continue your existence...unless I don't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Miguel the waiter
Date: 09 Nov 11 - 12:19 AM

He go craazzzzzy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 11:18 PM

You are always running off and abandoning Mom to dry and dusty days. Then you come running back and jolly everyone along and tell Mom you're her favorite. THEN you ask her for money. This is gadabout, footloose, knavish behavior.

So where are you going this time?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 09:53 PM

That's it! I'm leaving!1











1Tomorrow morning, very early, on an airplane. See y'all later tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 08:24 PM

You sure it wasn't the ISmokes?

What we need for Mudcat is an Apple Doangivvaschitt. Just the thing to filter the threads of folks wo are outraged by penny-ante issues or quirks in other folks' manners.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 06:35 PM

Is there an iPuke? For guys like me who don't need all this fancy stuff or another operation to remove a tumour?

BTW, cousin Rodney is still mostly paralyzed on the left... slurred speech, no left arm motor capability, difficulty walking.... Cell phones are bad shit man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 06:17 PM

I have even more than that, Amos. I have an upperclass i-Harridan AND a lowerclass i-Harridan living in Hull and Twillingsgate, UK. I have a muckraking English i-journalist raising alarums about aliens in the Royal Family and secret paramilitary projects involving giant skinks and blood-drinking members of the peerage. I have an entire assemblage of i-simians living in the Chicago area. I have an i-OPP officer named Jennifer Dana. I have an i-relationship with William Shatner...and am working on establishing one with Winona Ryder.

And that's just the tip of the i-ceberg!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 05:49 PM

In mathematics, i stands for imaginary numbers of which the square root of -1 is a factor. Borrowing this usage, Little Hawk is blessed in the extreme--he has an iChimp, an iScumbag, and an iHarridan all his own. Oh, and an iHamster, too!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 04:56 PM

Yeah, and the iPart is a digital comb that you can use via Internet hookup to part your hair. And they're wireless now too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 03:21 PM

iPod is like the non-phone version of the iPhone. iPad is the tablet. Rap wanted the iPod-like device - with WiFi - but whether Android or iPod - how many WiFi locations have you found to use it? Is Pocatello awash with WiFi?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 02:28 PM

It don't need ta scan when yer lead can pull it off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 02:26 PM

I want one with a functioning dial.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 02:15 PM

As Olde Phartes we are going to end up wanting one plastic phone with large keys and display with nothing else.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Nov 11 - 08:49 AM

Chongo CAME from a pod.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 11:03 PM

Chongo uses an aPod. He swears by it. And he lives in an aPad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 10:57 PM

I wanted something with WiFi, calendaring, address book, and similar stuff that I could put in my shirt pocket. Android is a decent OS and it's open source AND I know how to update it. (I could also overclock the chip, but I won't.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 10:10 PM

You mean an iPad, I presume. Sure they come from --or at least via--Apple--but they work so well. ANd at least you know where your code has been!

Good luck with the Android one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 09:16 PM

Well,I just bought an Android Internet tablet (4.3 inch). I hope it lives up to my expectations.

I thought about an iPod, but all the apps have to come from Apple.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 08:52 PM

The hip need no scansion, but occasional traction.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 05:49 PM

That doesn't scan very well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 04:26 PM

I had my hands in the river
My feet back up on the banks
I looked up to the lord above
And said hey man thanks.

The Tragically Hip

Yeah, I konw... but it's good rock.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 10:14 AM

You're going to crash Big Mick's iPhone if you start mentioning him over here. If he hits the thread name instead of the d it will take years to load the thread to respond. Please, I bed you, don't trash his phone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 11 - 09:16 AM

I am certain that Big Mick already knows. Big Mick is God.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 11:27 PM

I watched it. ASTOUNDING! And pretty funny.

There simply is no one else quite like William Shatner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 11:15 PM

Please don't tell Mick about that video.

If you do tell Mick, tell him it was Little Hawk's fault.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 09:53 PM

Just for Little Hawk....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 09:29 PM

The Blind Little Boy

O say what is that thing call'd Light,
Which I must ne'er enjoy;
What are the blessings of the sight,
O tell your poor blind boy!

You talk of wondrous things you see,
You say the sun shines bright;
I feel him warm, but how can he
Or make it day or night?

My day or night myself I make
Whene'er I sleep or play;
And could I ever keep awake
With me 'twere always day.

With heavy sighs I often hear
You mourn my hapless woe;
But sure with patience I can bear
A loss I ne'er can know.

Then let not what I cannot have
My cheer of mind destroy:
Whilst thus I sing, I am a king,
Although a poor blind boy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 08:40 PM

Don't deign to tell me what my duty is, Amos... ;-)

I expect to be fullsomely entertained by such wits and bon vivants as you and Rapparee....and on a daily basis. Hie thee to the keyboard at once, summon forth thy respective muses, and dazzle me with thy clever verse and tempestuous bombast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 06:45 PM

Your duty, sir, is not to be interestingly entertained, but to create interesting entertainment worthy of the Seal of BS Approval from Mom's hand.

MOM's BS Seal of Approval. But from her mouth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 04:56 PM

Your duty, sir, is not to be interestingly entertained, but to create interesting entertainment worthy of the Seal of BS Approval from Mom's hand.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 03:54 PM

Ask Shame. Or "Bad Penny" Rutledge. Or Chongo the Chump.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 11:46 AM

What brilliant things can I expect from you lads today?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 10:52 AM

Aw, g'wan, Rapp!! You just have an obsession about round numbers, is all!! Can't stand a sustained obligato until it resolves, you.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 09:35 AM

See Mom? I've nurtured you to 42601 now and you can tell that I'm the only one who REALLY cares.

Can I have a dollar?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 10:31 PM

Assuming that Shame McBride has not seen the error of his ways, he is a rotten louse-ridden commie pinko fascist Budweiser lover!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 10:26 PM

Why would they -- or anyone else -- want him (assuming that he has not actually repented)?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 10:10 PM

Unfortunately I am not qualified to deal with incorrigible juvenile delinquency in any case except my own.

Sorry. Maybe the Scientologists would have him?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 07:44 PM

That too. ;-) Amos, I have an idea...would you be willing to adopt Shane? You have such a good understanding of what makes him tick. I think that under your tutelage he would find a form of security he has never known and go on to great things. Please give it your consideration, but don't make a hasty decision.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 06:55 PM

Amos is unstrung, did you say?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 04:08 PM

Marvelous! ;-D You are an unsung genius, mon frer!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 01:58 PM

The word from Wawa far has come
From obese blondes and redheads dumb
No more they'll ride the Kool Aid Train
Conducted by that asshole, Shane.

They will not flirt or wink or smile
When he their souls tries to beguile
They will not cut him any slack
Or offer him their knees or back.

They've had enough, those Wawa women,
Their hearts are full their heads are swimming.
Comparing notes, they've found that he
Is just a punk, a wanna-be.

He has no strength in either arm,
He has no insight, grace, or charm,
His flirting's flat and cheap and shallow
In fetid lust his mind does wallow.

No Wawa girl, with half a brain
Will ever smile again at Shane.
His race is run, his hopes are sick,
They've pegged him for a hopeless prick.

And so--at least until tomorra--
Report the wenches all of Wawa.

Gordon Beefsteak Groscoeur
Poet Laureate of Wawa and Gasoline Pump Expert Extraordinaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 12:50 PM

Ummm...."Shane"? You there?

I can hardly believe you would turn your back on the many cool things you do, like...

1. chugging beer down in record time
2. getting stoned as often as possible
3. seeking idle and meaningless sexual adventures with really dumb local girls
4. petty theft
5. work evasion
6. violation of local ordinances
7. adventures in sloth

Think! These are the bold and manly practices that have made you a legend in your own mind and a guy whose name is a household world as far as Moosenee and Wawa. Don't leave it all behind!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 09:21 AM

With a root-a-toot-toot chorus after a second round of baked beans.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 08:43 AM

And so it continues....

Today is Roy Rogers' birthday! Build a cow-chip campfire tonight and sing cowboy songs that were written in Hollywood and New York! (You can find REAL cowboy songs in the books "Whorehouse Bells Were Ringing" and "Ten Thousand Goddamn Cattle" but they're not quite in the Roy Rogers image.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 01:39 AM

Wow--a misbehaving mockup, a miscreant mis-creation, a recalcitrant spectre, a contumacious conjuring, a fractious figment!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 11:26 PM

Right.................


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 10:02 PM

Reform? School?


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