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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 25 Aug 11 - 01:58 PM
MMario 25 Aug 11 - 01:45 PM
Rapparee 25 Aug 11 - 12:56 PM
Acme 25 Aug 11 - 12:05 PM
Amos 25 Aug 11 - 11:58 AM
Amos 25 Aug 11 - 11:47 AM
Rapparee 25 Aug 11 - 11:05 AM
MMario 25 Aug 11 - 09:45 AM
Acme 25 Aug 11 - 09:28 AM
Amos 25 Aug 11 - 09:23 AM
JennyO 25 Aug 11 - 08:31 AM
GUEST,Eiseley 25 Aug 11 - 07:43 AM
Rapparee 24 Aug 11 - 11:47 PM
gnu 24 Aug 11 - 06:44 PM
gnu 24 Aug 11 - 06:04 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 11 - 05:48 PM
gnu 24 Aug 11 - 01:59 PM
Rapparee 24 Aug 11 - 01:38 PM
gnu 24 Aug 11 - 01:38 PM
Acme 24 Aug 11 - 11:40 AM
Rapparee 23 Aug 11 - 11:20 PM
Amos 23 Aug 11 - 10:18 PM
gnu 23 Aug 11 - 03:25 PM
Amos 23 Aug 11 - 02:44 PM
gnu 23 Aug 11 - 01:44 PM
Rapparee 23 Aug 11 - 11:45 AM
Amos 23 Aug 11 - 10:58 AM
Acme 23 Aug 11 - 10:10 AM
Rapparee 22 Aug 11 - 11:12 PM
Amos 22 Aug 11 - 08:28 PM
gnu 22 Aug 11 - 07:32 PM
Acme 22 Aug 11 - 07:02 PM
Amos 22 Aug 11 - 05:24 PM
gnu 22 Aug 11 - 03:34 PM
gnu 22 Aug 11 - 01:48 PM
Amos 22 Aug 11 - 11:55 AM
Acme 22 Aug 11 - 11:51 AM
GUEST,Eiseley 22 Aug 11 - 09:34 AM
GUEST,Eiseley 22 Aug 11 - 09:33 AM
Amos 21 Aug 11 - 10:58 PM
Amos 21 Aug 11 - 10:55 PM
gnu 21 Aug 11 - 06:17 PM
Acme 21 Aug 11 - 03:19 PM
Amos 21 Aug 11 - 02:58 PM
gnu 21 Aug 11 - 02:43 PM
Amos 21 Aug 11 - 02:24 PM
Acme 21 Aug 11 - 02:19 PM
Rapparee 21 Aug 11 - 11:59 AM
Amos 21 Aug 11 - 12:01 AM
Rapparee 20 Aug 11 - 11:35 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 01:58 PM

It is also approximately the thirtieth anniversary of the release of the 8088-chipped IBM "Personal Computer" -- hard to believe it has only been 30 years!!

Rap, PM me with your flight details, or email me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 01:45 PM

How is Ivan these days? Isn't he an honorary member of the Idaho Brigade?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 12:56 PM

Today, August 25, is the birthday of Ivan IV, a/k/a "the Terrible." Take a psychotic Russian sociopath to lunch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 12:05 PM

You're all going to footle at the Getaway, I know it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 11:58 AM

footle\FOOT-l\ , verb;
1.To act or talk in a foolish or silly way.noun:
1.Nonsense; silliness.

Quotes:
Sometimes, on a good day, I would go upstairs with my duster and footle around the parlor, adjusting paintings and straightening cushions, knocking them into shape with such military precision that even my mother would have saluted them.
-- Marion McGilvary, A Lost Wife's Tale: A Novel

I say, Charlie, for any sake do play up tomorrow, and don't footle.
-- Rose Macaulay, Abbots Verney: a novel

Origin:
Footle has an uncertain origin. One candidate is the French se foutre, to care nothing." Another possibility is the Dutch vochtig, "damp or musty."





Make up rhymes, jump in a puddle
Sing to the clouds and let us footle
Loud and wide, at top of lung,
Footle, footle while we're young!
Late in life, your brain's a muddle
And it grows dark, and hard to footle.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 11:47 AM

I will be visiting Gene and Sandrolin Thursday afternoon and evening. When do you land from your wild and wonderful personal altitude, and where, sirrah?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 11:05 AM

I've registered for Getaway and have my plane reservations. Now, if Amos could give me a ride....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 09:45 AM

my hotel is booked for post-getaway week or relaxing and a trip to the MD ren-faire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 09:28 AM

Sounds like a great walk, Eiseley. Watch out for those venomous snakes. Georgia will have some different sizes and colors than Idaho (but you know that!)

The rest of you, you need to feel pretty flush to tackle plumbing problems. They're invariably expensive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 09:23 AM

Hi, Mom. I spent six hours negotiating very heavy LA traffic yesterday, but I spent four hours having a great lunch and plan meeting with my brilliant webmeister son who isa wicked smart. That's why I haven't writ.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 08:31 AM

Rapparee, I watched the tide come in, in my toilet bowl yesterday, and it never went out. A hasty trip to the hardware store and a lot of dislodging of sea monsters and other nasty things eventually made it go out.

This is the toilet further away from the bedroom, so again we may hear the flush of a distant toilet......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 25 Aug 11 - 07:43 AM

Rapparee's on one end and I'm on the other. Georgia is hot and humid, but pleasant for all that. I didn't find the stairway to heaven or anywhere else, but yesterday I went out in the woods and found an old trail that seemed as if it hadn't been used for many years. There was a wild pear tree (not a peach), and many beautiful orb spiderwebs I tried to avoid. I took my cousin's dogs and they loved the ramble. Today we're off to see some Indian burial mounds.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 11:47 PM

Beach bunny such as gnu watches.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 06:44 PM

Oh! I SHOULD mention... his spot is NOT on the Bay of Fundy... it's on The Northumberland Straight. Next to Shediac, The Lobster Capital of The World. Better than that, it's the last spot on the coast west of Parlee Beach... world famous Parlee Beach.

Jim spent many hours lobbying and gaining support from the locals to have the local government approve and fund a wooden walkway from the shore right-of-way to the beach next to his property as Jim is a community minded citizen.

And, when ya sit on the edge of Jim's lawn with dark sunglasses on, ya really can't be called a perverted old man when ya watch the constant parade a yer beach bunnies in everly decreasing in size swimwear.

Yeah... I said it. I like looking at beach bunnies. Don't judge me. I would never even approach a bunny. But, if I win the lotto, their mother's might be in serious danger.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 06:04 PM

The Bay of Fundy tides are the highest in the world. Actually, that is not right. They are the lowest in the world. That's what sucks dumb humans into going out where they should NOT be at low tide. Then again, it thins the herd.

Speaking of tides... I can walk out over a km in front of my buddy Jim's cottage (less than 20m away) at low tide and swim in the warmest water north of the Carolinas. It's a nice spot... in summer. In the winter, ya want a Zodiak in the yard when the ice crashes against yer house.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 05:48 PM

How to Watch the Tibdes
by Rapparee

1. Be somewhere where there are tides. The seacoast is good, but since the moon pulls on Earth's waters equally you can also use your bathtub, a bowl of water, or even the water coming out of your garden hose or, if youu can't find anything else, watch a toilet bowl.

2. The tide goes away ('out') ever 12 hours or so. DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY! The tide will come back. If it doesn't we're all in a lot of trouble.

3. To measure the going in and out of the tide, measure it against a rock in the water or some similar thing. DO NOT use an island off int he distance, a boat, or a person wading in the water. If you are indoors and looking out don't use a speck on the window glass, because if the tide comes in that far you're going to drown.

4. Be patient. The tide may only rise a few inches, or it could rise many feet. Try not to be way, way out on the beach when the tide comes in, especially at places like Turnagain Arm or the Bay of Fundy.

5. Enjoy tide watching. Remember that fog can mess you up (see 4, above).

6. A hint: you can tell if the tide is in or out by looking at some boats. If you see an aircraft carrier or a supertank leaning on its side in the mud the tide is probably out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 01:59 PM

If yer a Hugeonot, don't take any Cat'lics ta lunch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 01:38 PM

Today is St. Bartholomew's Day. If you're French, take a Hugeonot to lunch and apologize.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 01:38 PM

RIP John and thanks for all the yuks... a true craftsman.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Aug 11 - 11:40 AM

MOM, did you see that we lost John Howard Davies? We've laughed at so many of his programs on the weekend evenings! I know you designed the kitchen and a couple of the bathrooms to be just like in Fawlty Towers, and the back yard is just like the seedy one in The Good Neighbors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 11:20 PM

Yes, Aristotle (we called him "Ari") was thinking of me when he wrote that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 10:18 PM

The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure
one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them,
but because he is a man of high and heroic temper.

                      Aristotle


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 03:25 PM

I wish I could too. This one is pissing me off. Worked on a door selvedge a while ago and had a hard time getting up... and down... and up... and...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 02:44 PM

Oh, dear Gawd, Rapparee is having an out-of-body experience!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 01:44 PM

To heaven?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 11:45 AM

Ah. The fog has lifted and I can see the first step on the stairway!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 10:58 AM

If thou should then the Deckman see,
Pray send him warm regards from me,
And send from yonder Stilly sweet,
Five gallons of that Texas heat.
From Little Hawk, send fantasy
From EIseley, lines of poetry.
From Man of Emms, an auroch steak
As long as you are on the make.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Aug 11 - 10:10 AM

I wish I were there! They've barely had summer this year and we've had way too much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 11:12 PM

Here I am on Puget Sound
With mold and mildew all around
The fog clogs up my eyes and nose
And I couldn't see the tide that rose
So my feet are wet, my hair is too
This is a day that I will rue
But tomorrow I will to Port Townsend go
And leave Neah Bay to Makahs and snow
By Thursday I'll in Tacoma be
Juan de Fuca I will no longer see
But I'll call the Deckman as I closer get
And perhaps we can our tonsils wet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 08:28 PM

Not to put my friends into a dry comma, but a partial colon is a semicolon, I allus useter say, back in the day. Them friends as I had back then --them as isn't dead or drugged beyond recognition or some such--will affirm I allus useter say that.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 07:32 PM

20 to 22C on the morrow. Time to COOK!! I snagged 2 pounds a green beans and half pound a yella beans... picked today... and a smoked pork shoulder ($1.49 a pound... up 50p from spring but what the hell eh!). Fresh cabbage, carrots, spuds. We are talkin good eatin for four days for Mum and me, not to mention ham and eggs.

A healthy colon is a friendly colon I always say.

Of course, I will spell her off with some brilliant salmon. One does not pork it every day at 85.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 07:02 PM

That tornado that passed over Canada may have dropped something in the water on it's way past.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 05:24 PM

Oh, man, Gnu, they musta put sompn in the water up there. You are waxing lyrical of late!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 03:34 PM

Them there Yella Stripes don't scare any good ol boys down home what ain't done nuthin wrong.

Fact is, ya got yer Blue Jays and yer Grey Jays and yer Yella Js. The Yella Js what fly around lookin fer yer Marypain this time a year is birdbrained anywhay on accounta they will soon be swoopin down on yer big patches what was planted ta keep em busy while the real crops are picked and flicked. Now, some say they are part of the plan but I think them lads is plain stunned as me arse. Orrr, maybe they do they know the general public is clooless an they are in on it... but, I kinda doubt it on accounta most a them come from yer western Canada and yer westerners ain't what we call fully torked eh?

I likes Grey Jays (Moose Birds) best maself. Now, if them Yella Stripes could train a Moose Bird ta find yer Lambkill like I trained em ta find partridge... nah, they ain't got the smarts a yer Moose Bird.

Minds me... I must take a drive up country to a set a lumber roads I haven't been on in years. Back in my MJ days, I scattered HUNDREDS of seeds one day... Mexican Red Hair, Accupuncture Gold, Tied To A Stick... I'll bet the deer are fried man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 01:48 PM

She's a peach.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 11:55 AM

Well seized, Ms Eiseley!! Georgia?? You mean the one in the SE US? Why on earth?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 11:51 AM

Good for you, Eiseley, on the pear and bagging the number. Keep up the good work, and watch where you're walking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 09:34 AM

41800!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 22 Aug 11 - 09:33 AM

Hello Folks,
Here I am in humid Georgia. It's like one huge party here: movies every night, dinners all together, cousins everywhere. Now I'm going to take a walk in the woods. On a walk this morning I found a wild pear tree and ate a pear for breakfast. I haven't seen any cottonmouths yet.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 11 - 10:58 PM

P.S. Be advised the New Brunswick Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) - or "J" Division - does not deal lightly with repeat offenders, or with offenders of public codes of decency, or with public displays of perversion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 11 - 10:55 PM

Dear Mr. Owens:

In light of your inability to produce substantiating information, I am forced tyo consider your forged correspondence from the "Royal Canadian Mounted Police" and all reference to Special Eds as a political parody at best if not some sort of illegal phishing attempt. Please be advised your Internet Service Provider has been advised and monitoring of all messages from an MAC address identified with your immediate geographical location may be monitored in the interests of national security.

Cmdr. R. Preston
New Brunswick Division
RCMP


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Aug 11 - 06:17 PM

Dear Mr. Jessup:

Sergeant Renfrew and his loyal dog Cuddles of the Royal Mounted salute your "Sir Preston", albeit a paltry imitaion, as do The Speicial Eds, the finest Newfoundland has to offer, if I may say so. However, your impersonation of a Royal Mounted officer is a far more severe an offense than the dress-up allegedly proposed by Mr. Owens. Please abate yor impersonation forthwith or we shall have the Special Eds investigate the possibility of sending Sgt. Renfrew and his faithful dog Cuddles ta chew yer ass big time.

Crap! Can't find any relevant clips... too bad!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Aug 11 - 03:19 PM

A tear in the eye works wonders!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 11 - 02:58 PM

Dear Mr Owens:

It has been brought to our attention that you have made public utterances concerning a possible intent to wander the streets and byroads of our fair Province wearing "drag" outfits in an effort to sway the duly appointed officers of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police from the concise and timely fulfillment of their appointed duties in enforcing the laws of vehicle operation on said roads and streets.

Be advised that it is the collective opinion of those said officers familiar with your history in conducting such vehicles on said roads that this plan, if allowed to proceed, would constitute an environmental disaster, and a threat to the well-being both mental and emotional of the citizens of said Province, and a threat to public order and the peacefgul pursuits of lawful business therein.

We therefore wish to place you on formal notice that any gesture on your part to execute said intent will be considered as a hostile act and prosecuted as a felony under the Public Safety Act, a decree which unanimously supported by the individual officers aforementioned.
Please consider this as a final warning in this matter.

Sincerely yours,


Commander Robert L. Preston
Chief of Operations
Royal Canadian Mounted Police, N.B. D.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Aug 11 - 02:43 PM

I suppose you batted those pretty eyes and drawled, "It's just soooo hot officer. Almost as hot as you."

Never works for ME, of course. I get questions like "Have you been drinking today, Mr. Owens?" Even when I try to be nice by saying "Not yet." and offer to have them join me in having a cold one they still get pissy. It is said the RCMP always get their man. Hey, maybe if I dressed up in drag they might be a little more friendly?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 11 - 02:24 PM

Good job, Still!! WElcome home, one and all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Aug 11 - 02:19 PM

MOM! I'm home, after testing the tolerance of the Texas highway patrol and sheriff's offices for their tolerance of middle-aged mothers taking sons to college via the Interstate Highway system. No fines, just warnings. I'm back home again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Aug 11 - 11:59 AM

We went by there and there were lots of them hanging on a fence in the water (the tide was out).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Aug 11 - 12:01 AM

I am sure Mrs Brady is very disappointed that you made off with Brady's oysters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 11 - 11:35 PM

Had fresh grilled oysters for dinner. Quite tasty. They came from as much as 15 miles away, from Brady's Oysters.


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