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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 21 Sep 10 - 03:13 PM
Amos 21 Sep 10 - 02:15 PM
Amos 21 Sep 10 - 10:51 AM
Rapparee 21 Sep 10 - 09:43 AM
gnu 21 Sep 10 - 06:40 AM
Amos 20 Sep 10 - 11:32 PM
Acme 20 Sep 10 - 11:26 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 10 - 09:38 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 10 - 09:36 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 10 - 08:12 PM
Amos 20 Sep 10 - 06:44 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 10 - 05:43 PM
Amos 20 Sep 10 - 04:26 PM
Amos 20 Sep 10 - 04:25 PM
Amos 20 Sep 10 - 04:24 PM
Amos 20 Sep 10 - 04:21 PM
gnu 20 Sep 10 - 04:13 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 10 - 03:30 PM
gnu 20 Sep 10 - 01:33 PM
Acme 20 Sep 10 - 01:18 PM
Little Hawk 20 Sep 10 - 01:11 PM
Amos 20 Sep 10 - 12:32 PM
Little Hawk 20 Sep 10 - 11:03 AM
Acme 20 Sep 10 - 10:59 AM
Rapparee 20 Sep 10 - 10:39 AM
Amos 20 Sep 10 - 10:24 AM
Acme 19 Sep 10 - 10:48 PM
Amos 19 Sep 10 - 10:44 PM
Rapparee 19 Sep 10 - 08:34 PM
Amos 19 Sep 10 - 08:05 PM
Acme 19 Sep 10 - 07:37 PM
Rapparee 19 Sep 10 - 07:26 PM
Little Hawk 19 Sep 10 - 02:36 PM
Amos 19 Sep 10 - 02:29 PM
Acme 19 Sep 10 - 12:22 PM
Little Hawk 19 Sep 10 - 11:57 AM
Amos 19 Sep 10 - 11:42 AM
Little Hawk 19 Sep 10 - 10:22 AM
Rapparee 19 Sep 10 - 09:56 AM
Little Hawk 19 Sep 10 - 07:54 AM
Acme 19 Sep 10 - 02:41 AM
Rapparee 18 Sep 10 - 09:09 PM
Acme 18 Sep 10 - 06:50 PM
Little Hawk 18 Sep 10 - 12:21 PM
Acme 18 Sep 10 - 11:01 AM
Little Hawk 18 Sep 10 - 10:33 AM
Rapparee 18 Sep 10 - 10:25 AM
Amos 18 Sep 10 - 10:20 AM
Amos 18 Sep 10 - 02:19 AM
Acme 18 Sep 10 - 12:03 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 03:13 PM

Amos, my workshop is on "The Influence of Bavarian Lederhosen On The Great Scots Bagpipes."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 02:15 PM

A new angle on the ancient rituals of Honor brings insight into why the Getaway has only a Field of Offer.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 10:51 AM

You shall, of course, come to the workshop Severn and I are doing? Should you not, I will be forced to crash yours and sing way off key.

Well, of course, you would be no such thing--your dire consequence is entirely elective and voluntary on your part, and couching it in these terms is merely small-minded manipulation (or at least your best effort at it). But in spite of the hazards to which it means exposing myself I shall drop by your workshop on Recrudescent Prepubescence in Musical Expression and see if I can muster up some applause.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 09:43 AM

Ah, let's just say that these baskets were a LOT less expensive than the locally made items. I saw a beautiful bolo tie on the trip -- silver and turquoise, of course -- and thought I'd check the price. $768.00 US. I didn't get it, but I did get a silver belt buckle with a rattlesnake on it to commemorate my recent participation in the snake-throwing event.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Sep 10 - 06:40 AM

Outsourcing to Pakistan?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 11:32 PM

Well, that does seem odd. The Amerindians who ran the Post were sending out to Pakistan for them? Or were they being used to smuggle IEDs into the country?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 11:26 PM

I saw some rather nice Navajo rugs made in Pakistan at a rug stall in an antique mall here in Texas a while back. I know the feeling you're talking about.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 09:38 PM

By the way, on my recent journeying we stopped in at the Trading Post immediately opposite the road to the Little Big Horn Battlefield. While there I saw some very nice Indian baskets that were made in Pakistan. I mention this because it seems rather odd on a couple of levels.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 09:36 PM

You shall, of course, come to the workshop Severn and I are doing? Should you not, I will be forced to crash yours and sing way off key.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 08:12 PM

Geez, that picture brings back memories of when I was young...I think that was yesterday afternoon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 06:44 PM

Aha!! Thank you, good sir. Now that I know you will be lying in wait for me hoping to catch me near the Field of Offer, I shall be forewarned, and thus four-armed. Your cause is lost, I assure you. You, having been trained on the field of Honor, do not know how to do battle on the Field of Offer, which is the nearest thing we've got down there. It's honor and Offer, and honor and Offer, and so on...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 05:43 PM

I refer you, cher Amos, to your PM of 14 Jun 2010 02:17 PM (Mudcat Time).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 04:26 PM

is

3 7 5 7 3




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 04:25 PM

ANd here for all of you to see...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 04:24 PM

ANd if you plan to make a scene about it, I suggest you practice staying upright first...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 04:21 PM

Dear Rapaire:

I could not tell from your post whether you were proposing a simple assault and battery, the resort of a common thug, or whether you were under the misimpression we had an appointment to battle on the field of honor. For your edification (1) we have no such appointment and (2) we have between us no grounds to merit such an appointment, and finally, (3) there is no such field at the Getaway. It's not that kind of place.

I will not fight you, will not choose weapons, will not be lured into insulting you to justify such crude mechanisms, and will not take umbrage at any manipulations you choose to resort to in order to try and bring me into your over-heated, combative world. I will not offer you any gore, and no-one is likely to offer you any bush, either. But we will be glad to swap music with you.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 04:13 PM

Yer gonna cut off his skirt? I did not know he was a Scot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 03:30 PM

Amos:

I just now ordered the weapons with which we shall fight our duel at Getaway. So that you are sure that I haven't screwed with them, they are being sent to Janie directly from the Armory. After you have been shish kabobed enough they will go into the Silent Auction, still stained with your gore and none of my own.

Mom won't be there to save you, either!

Your friend,
R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 01:33 PM

Rap tripped and fell? Hope nothing serious comes out of it.

May I suggest putting the padding on TOP of the stairs?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 01:18 PM

On a serious note (I know, they're rare) if you read the public record for the coroner you'll see a fair smattering of the cause of death as a "head injury, short fall." So take it easy out there, everyone!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 01:11 PM

Oh, sure, it's fine for you to talk, Mr Perfect! ;-) I suppose YOU've never accidentally flushed YOUR glasses or YOUR contacts down the toilet, have you? Ha! Thought so!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 12:32 PM

Alas, the Falls of the House of Mom!!

Come on you guys--refresh your training in Gravity 101. Remember that? Where you used table-edges and chair legs to struggle to a standing position, and fell to a crawling position every time you wanted to go somewhere? Falling off of things is juvenile and irresponsible!! AND illegal.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 11:03 AM

My sympathies, Rapaire. I fell off a ladder about a week and a half ago whilst cleaning the eavestroughs. I don't recommend doing this! I was lucky, though, cos I landed the right way and suffered no notable injuries. If Chongo had been visiting, it never woulda happened.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 10:59 AM

Oh, I get it! He fell as a way to make it a "value added" part of the exam. Gives the doctor more problems to work with so Rap can get more for his co-pay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 10:39 AM

Well I'm going to the doctor today anyway, so there! (The appt. was scheduled back before I left, so it's no big deal.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 10 - 10:24 AM

It was supposed to be a trip in the Fall, not a fall from a trip.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 10:48 PM

You just took a trip, Rapaire, but that doesn't mean you're entitled to fall because of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 10:44 PM

Well, of course it does, silly. You have to deal with gravity FIRST, THEN fall. Otherwise it gets all messed up. It's like forgetting the Norse mnemonic--rape, pillage THEN burn.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 08:34 PM

It also causes various skin abrasions and bruises, not to mention headaches.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 08:05 PM

Falling down on the job is not permitted after retirement, Rapaire; knock it off,. It's very bad for morale.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 07:37 PM

Rap's note to self: Put in extra thick foam padding under the stairs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 07:26 PM

Alright, I'm home and I've already fallen down the stairs* (yes, I was sober). Good thing I'm going to the doctor tomorrow morning, huh?


*Actually only the last three, but they are cement covered with carpet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 02:36 PM

That's just plain silly, Amos. I love the thing he did about the Masturbator's March, but that thing about the Doberman is just silly, and I'll tell you why. People who insist on reducing their political opponents to gross stereotypes are engaging in something that is intellectually lazy and morally reprehensible, because it's an exercise in hatred and snide superiority...regardless what side of the issue they stand on.

I can't applaud Mr Borowitz for putting together that piece, because he's making himself just as prejudiced as the worst of the very people he's making fun of...and basking in his own sense of entitlement and moral superiority, just the way they do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 02:29 PM

"EFFERSON CITY, MO (The Borowitz Report) – A rabid Doberman Pinscher jumped on stage at a Tea Party rally in Missouri on Labor Day and barked at the crowd for nearly twenty minutes before people realized he was not a candidate.

The dog, later identified by its owner as “Mister Buster,” held the crowd spellbound as he barked, growled, and frothed at the mouth, eventually receiving a standing ovation for his exertions.

Gwendolene Thomason, 42, a Tea Party supporter from Jefferson City, was one of the hundreds on hand who were convinced that the Doberman was a Tea Party candidate until he was outed as a dog.

“I liked what he had to say,” she said. ”He reminded me of Glenn Beck, only furrier.”

The Doberman’s canine identity finally became clear when he lunged at a man in the front row and wrested a hamburger from his right hand, taking two of the man’s fingers with it.

While the discovery that Mister Buster was not a Tea Party candidate disappointed many in attendance, Ms. Thomason held out hope that, dog or no, he might consider running for office at some point.

“I liked the way he bit off that guy’s hand, and the way he did his business in the middle of the stage,” she said. ”We need more of that in Washington.”"

Borowitz


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 12:22 PM

The golfers will be disappointed. The course has been so mellow without the sudden explosions for the last week or two.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 11:57 AM

Yes. They should have some time to prepare, hide the young women, put up the barricades, and the usual stuff...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 11:42 AM

I hope someone has sent advanced warning to the City Fathers that Big Rapaire is coming to town.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 10:22 AM

Give my regards to Wild Bill and all the other varmints when you get there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 09:56 AM

You can have them if you're a size 18 triple wide. Kinda hard to walk in, probably, especially with the holes in the soles and one heel missing.

Today I go back to Pocatello, the REAL wild west.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 07:54 AM

Bronzed cowboy boots, slightly used? Oh, you lucky devil!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Sep 10 - 02:41 AM

I did a little recycling today at the recycling and trash collection depot, is all. They apparently are collecting some stuff for a vendor that they used to let anyone pick up. I decided to play by the old rules and picked up a couple of useful items for a friend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 09:09 PM

The is something WRONG with half a cream separator, a pair of bronzed cowboy boots only slightly worn out, and the wringer mechanism for a washing machine sans rollers?   It's not like the broken bottles and spoiled leftovers Amos brings back, you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 06:50 PM

MOM, wait till I tell you about all of the good stuff I found at the junk yard. . . no, not the way Rapaire brings home junk, this is really GOOD stuff! I'll just back up to the garage. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 12:21 PM

Sure does. Actually, Chongo has been a real gentleman any time he was around here, but he can be dangerous if provoked, specially if provoked by a stranger (or a gorilla). No doubt about that. I don't provoke him.

I have been gently suggesting to him that being President of the USA isn't really all that great, not exactly a bowl of cherries, and that he'd probably be much happier if he abandonded the political career and stuck to sleuthing.

He said to me, "Look, I know it's a tough and thankless job. I know that people will dump all their problems on ya and blame ya every time somethin' goes wrong. But I can't just stand aside and see my country goin' to the dogs and do nothin'. The call of duty is ringin' in my ears, and I gotta answer that call! I owe it to every sufferin' ape and monkey on the street, and I can't let 'em down."

I think what we have here is an ape inspired.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 11:01 AM

It beats the Hell out of those times when Chongo is trying to rip your arms off, doesn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 10:33 AM

SRS - "I love it when Little Hawk takes a moment to explain things to MOM. His voice gets quiet and their heads nod together and it's just such a great photo opportunity. . ."

Yes. (smile) I so enjoy those special moments whenever they come along. It makes me feel wise...yet at the same time, humble. It nourishes my soul.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 10:25 AM

My brother Raoare does nothing of the sort. After his wife caught him he uses a catheter for certain vital function. His superhero name is "The Dribbler."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 10:20 AM

Sigtgh...rise and shine, Mom!! Rapaire--your favorite, you know--is boiling some nice splinters for your breakfast!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 02:19 AM

Decomstriction by Little Hawk; wanking by Raoare...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Sep 10 - 12:03 AM

With as many UKers as there are at Mudcat, I think we'd most of us have gotten that on our own. But I love it when Little Hawk takes a moment to explain things to MOM. His voice gets quiet and their heads nod together and it's just such a great photo opportunity. . .


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Mudcat time: 19 August 9:30 AM EDT

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