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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 07 Jun 10 - 10:13 PM
Eiseley 07 Jun 10 - 10:00 PM
Janie 07 Jun 10 - 09:43 PM
Eiseley 07 Jun 10 - 09:37 PM
Janie 07 Jun 10 - 09:34 PM
Eiseley 07 Jun 10 - 09:15 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 10 - 04:59 PM
Little Hawk 07 Jun 10 - 04:54 PM
GUEST,Rev. Tommy Lee Staggers 07 Jun 10 - 04:11 PM
Acme 07 Jun 10 - 03:13 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 10 - 02:43 PM
Amos 07 Jun 10 - 12:11 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 10 - 11:21 AM
Rapparee 07 Jun 10 - 11:20 AM
Amos 07 Jun 10 - 07:48 AM
Acme 07 Jun 10 - 12:24 AM
Amos 06 Jun 10 - 09:09 PM
Rapparee 06 Jun 10 - 09:01 PM
Rapparee 06 Jun 10 - 08:59 PM
Eiseley 06 Jun 10 - 08:53 PM
Rapparee 06 Jun 10 - 08:47 PM
Eiseley 06 Jun 10 - 08:24 PM
Rapparee 06 Jun 10 - 08:12 PM
Amos 06 Jun 10 - 07:48 PM
Rapparee 06 Jun 10 - 07:24 PM
Eiseley 06 Jun 10 - 05:54 PM
Acme 06 Jun 10 - 05:42 PM
Eiseley 06 Jun 10 - 03:33 PM
Janie 06 Jun 10 - 03:03 PM
Rapparee 06 Jun 10 - 02:02 PM
Amos 06 Jun 10 - 12:56 PM
GUEST,Rev. Tommy Lee Staggers 06 Jun 10 - 12:10 PM
Amos 06 Jun 10 - 10:47 AM
Janie 06 Jun 10 - 07:39 AM
Rapparee 05 Jun 10 - 10:11 PM
Eiseley 05 Jun 10 - 10:08 PM
Acme 05 Jun 10 - 09:16 PM
Rapparee 05 Jun 10 - 08:42 PM
Amos 05 Jun 10 - 05:57 PM
Acme 05 Jun 10 - 02:56 PM
Janie 05 Jun 10 - 02:02 PM
Rapparee 05 Jun 10 - 12:51 PM
Amos 05 Jun 10 - 12:20 PM
Rapparee 05 Jun 10 - 11:54 AM
Amos 05 Jun 10 - 11:47 AM
Acme 05 Jun 10 - 10:49 AM
Acme 04 Jun 10 - 07:00 PM
gnu 04 Jun 10 - 05:12 PM
Rapparee 04 Jun 10 - 04:50 PM
Little Hawk 04 Jun 10 - 04:15 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 10:13 PM

Dear Mom,

There comes a time when you have say, "That's it. I just can't do any more. I have to end it."

That time has come for me.

So, Mom, I have done all that I can do. Tomorrow I will start staining the box.

Your Fave Rave,
R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 10:00 PM

Well, I sure don't want swirling green "mist" to surround earth. It belongs in the garden, as fertilizer.

E


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 09:43 PM

do I want to know what "mist" means in German?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 09:37 PM

Do you know what "mist" means in German?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 09:34 PM

Green mist?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 09:15 PM

Dear MOM,
A friend told me about a bumper sticker she has on her car. It says, "I love my cat. She doesn't care."

But I know you love your kids, even when they fight and flout the law.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 04:59 PM

LH, you "mow the law when it needs it"?????????? Are you missing a letter in there or do you really cut down the laws of Canada when they need it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 04:54 PM

I already HAVE repented, you stupid twat! I gave up my false gods of Mammon on June 13, 1981. I still use Money, but I regard it with casual aplomb, as calmly as I would a cloud passing in the sky. My Licentious Behavior, once awesome in its variety and complexity, has been set aside for an interest in gardening. My Lewd Dancing never really amounted to much, and I have by now left it completely behind me. I naturally honour the Creator in all kinds of ways. For example, I have a morning ritual to remember the martyrdom of King Kong, and I pray daily for a liason with Winona Ryder. As for Charity, I feed the squirrels, chipmunks, and birds. As for Evangelism, I attempt to persuade people to abandon personal attacks on each other and discuss actual issues instead. As for Good Works, I mow the law whenever it needs it!

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter Heaven!"

Izzat right? Are you sure? Okay....well, I'm definitely not rich, so I guess I'm covered on that one.

****

p.s. I just noticed that I called you a "stupid twat" above. I may have caused offence to the Creator in so doing, I may have sinned...but then again, maybe not. The Creator may also think you're a stupid twat, in which case I've not sinned at all. I'm taking my chances on this one.... ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rev. Tommy Lee Staggers
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 04:11 PM

You have little time left to REPENT! The Green Comet of Doom will soon be in the skies, the Green Comet foretold in Revelations! Repent, all of you, and pray that in the swirling green mist which will soon surround Earth you might be spared, yea, even Taken Up! Give up your false gods of Mammon, Money, Licentious Behavior, Lewd Dancing, and begin honoring The Creator with prayers, charity, evangelism, and good works! Remember that it is easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter Heaven!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 03:13 PM

Amos, you should have swung by there with the kayak. Picked up any shreds that were missed when the bales were collected.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 02:43 PM

Stop playing naive, Amos. First of all, Bobert doesn't have the kind of money needed for that much weed. Secondly, he doesn't have the kind of money needed for a plane ticket to San Diego Sur La Merde -- he's a bluesman, fergoshsakes! Thirdly, I kinda doubt that the Hispanics around your neck of the woods would understand his Spanish; he's a bluesman, you know. Fourthly, I spoke with him on the telephone just the other night when, if your scenario is correct, he would have had to have been on the road to California.

No, I can think of only one person who would be able to mastermind such an operation, someone with local connections, whose Spanish is somewhat passable, and who has the old dough-re-mi to finance such a deal.

Hear the boots on the stairway, Amos? That's the DEA, the FBI, and the San Diego wing of the Tea Party coming to take you away. Those guys talked, Amos. They spilled their guts.

It was nice knowing you. I had hoped to see you again at Getaway; now I can only hope you can make yours.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 12:11 PM

You are SOOOO special, Rapaire!

In other news, SAN DIEGO—U.S. Coast Guard officials have arrested two smugglers accused of stashing some 1,400 pounds of marijuana in a coastal San Diego cave near the border with Mexico.
Petty Officer Henry Dunphy says crews apprehended the two Mexican nationals early Saturday after someone reported seeing a small fishing boat being unloaded on a secluded shore near the Sunset Cliffs beach community.

They also followed the person's directions to a nearby cave where the bales of pot were found.

Dunphy says the suspected smugglers were handed over to U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

That agency did not return a phone message seeking details about the suspects' status.


Now, I have voiced my disgruntlement about Rapaire coming downhere and holding up the local banks under the pseudonym of the Geezer Bandit, but now Bobert is doing it too!! He doesn't write or call, blows into town, gets a couple of innocent Hispanics to do his grunt work for him, and next thing you know, he's back in hicksburg pretending he never left his pea-patch!! The nerve of that boy!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 11:21 AM

I got it! A palindromic spinner!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 11:20 AM

Yeah, we use the same thing out here. 'Course, we ain't got no skeeters and sich up here in the mountains. Jist some stingin' things that make you itch and spread West Nile virus -- but the Chamber o' Commerce says they ain't skeeters. Ol' Curly ran through one over at the Legion Hovel the other day and strained hisself somethin' fierce.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 07:48 AM

OUt here we use this new fangled thang called, I believe, a screeyun. Keeps the bugs out but lets the breeze come right through. Wunnerful tech.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jun 10 - 12:24 AM

Hot and muggggggy tonight. Time for the mosquito netting over the beds in the house, MOM. And doesn't it look neat when the lightening bugs drift into the room, perch on the netting, and glow on and off?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 09:09 PM

Well, yes, I was, Rapaire, but it was in my younger years.

Maybe you are thinking of old Tom Moore from the days of '49.

Eiseley, thatta gal. Don't take any crap from this guy!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 09:01 PM

It's useful knowing how old people are. For example, suppose I wanted to find out about what it was like to be a miner in Hangtown -- why, I'd just ask Amos because he was there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 08:59 PM

I'm under that, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 08:53 PM

You need new batteries in your calculator.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 08:47 PM

Which would make me 59 years old, and I'm not that, either. So there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 08:24 PM

Well, I am NOT twice her age. I'd have to [be 1 to] the 146[th power minus 60] years old and I'm not, yet.

You forgot to be mathagrammatically correct.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 08:12 PM

You think she's a sweet young thing, don't you, Amos. Well, I am NOT twice her age..I'd have to the 146 years old and I'm not, yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 07:48 PM

Yeah, but you are twice herself's age, Mike. Keep it in perspective! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 07:24 PM

Oh, fer Guinness sakes! All worked up and excited about getting a Master's degree. Why, 'tain't nothin' a-tall. Shucks, they went an' give me one, din't they?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 05:54 PM

You know, I think I will, Stilly. It'll give me even more motivation to keep on, since He Who Calls Himself the Prime Mo[tivator] decided to retire.

Next May, next May, calloo callay!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 05:42 PM

If you chose to come down to Denton (or Fort Worth), TX, Eiseley, we can do a close approximation of Hell right now. Pretty darned hot this weekend! And of course, good company!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 03:33 PM

Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. --M.T.

I'll choose the company any day!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 03:03 PM

I think he meant the 6th book of Daniel Jackson - you know, the SG-1 "conscience" of the the team who "ascended" at the end of the 5th season? You a disciple, reverend?

You realize, of course, it is only a tv show. Yes?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 02:02 PM

I dunno, Amos. From what you said you folks were probably playing Brahms, Mozart, Bach, and other such passengers on the ol' hell-bound train. Gotta love the Bible-thumpers, especially since Daniel is one "Book" and it's divided into "Chapters", and Chapter 6 tells about Daniel in the lions' den. Doesn't have squat to do with the apocalyptic visions and stuff like that. There ain't no "sixth BOOK of Daniel".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 12:56 PM

The songs were not lewd, nor were they bawdy, you contumacious prig. They were authentic and sweet.

I have several times in my life awoken to find myself firmly in the hands of the Man and it is not a situation I would recommend for anyone. Highly unpredictable and disadvantageous.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rev. Tommy Lee Staggers
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 12:10 PM

Repent, Oh Amos! Singing the Devil's songs, drinking liquor, and carousing until all hours has doomed your immortal soul to Hell! The fires will burn you inside and out, everlastingly, along with the others who post here! Oh, repent all of you and save yourselves, for the Day Of Reckoning is fast approaching and who knows when they might not arise from their Eternal Sleep! For as it is written in the Sixth Book of Daniel the Eternal Enemy comes among you roaring like a lion and consuming all that he can devour! Repent, I say! Give all your sins -- greed, avarice, lust, gluttony, drunkenness, dancing, singing lewd and bawdy songs -- over and place yourself in the hands of The Man!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 10:47 AM

Why not go for a stroll along tha brother's arm Eiseley mentioned? It must be broad and smooth.

It was a helluva party, Mom. The pianist was amazingly dexterous and everyone loved it, and everyone stayed late and chatted and laughed. Paul has a brand new MS in Envrionmental Science from Johns Hopkins. Marilies is back from a long stay in Vienna. Glen from QualComm, and the Entrepreneur who has just started negotiating with Sony about his new large-scale high-speed backup software was talking to Judith who got a Presidential award for marine science educational programs, and the CHoreographer were there. The owner of SeekTech gave us all a deep description of the troubles at the Deep Horizons well site. Roman held forth on the intricacies of musical composition. Hannah described her project making a movie about India. Roman is going to New Zealand on Monday.

All in all, it was a grand time, with excellent music. In the later hours, we sang on the patio.

This morning I am wooden headed, but happy!!

Happy Sunday!! Yayyyy!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 06 Jun 10 - 07:39 AM

I know it's awfully early for you, MOM, but get up anyway. Let's go out for breakfast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 10:11 PM

Yes, two of her boys now have Magic Twangers. They twanged all the way from the Rondy home yesterday. I did that because eventually it will drive her NUTS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 10:08 PM

Those Patrick Boivin shorts are very diverting---some really clever and creative photography. Thanks for the recommendation.

I just came back from a wedding. The sun peeked out from the John Constable-like sky just as the bride strolled in on her brother's arm (her father died some years ago). It was very lovely. But the thing that took the cake was the surprising wedding cake. It was decorated with boxer dogs dressed in wedding attire standing on icing bones. Hmmm.

Tom has been plucking his magic twanger all day. Mike traded one of his guns for it at the Rendezvous yesterday. Now wasn't that nice!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 09:16 PM

I hope some of you will skip back down to the link I posted earlier today and visit some of those clever YouTube animations I sent you to look at.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 08:42 PM

Can he play the piano with his feet AND with his fingers at the same time? I've seen Eiseley do this, playing a duet with herself. It was Franz Schubert's Divertissement à la Hongroise in G minor, Op. 54.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 05:57 PM

Well, Rapaire, these are American speakers, and among the nicest mid-range speakers I've heard.

But, chacun Πson mauvais gout indeed, old chum.

Mom!! The world renowned concert pianist ROman Rudnitsky is in our living room playing the piano!! I mean, like, fer REAL!!! I had for gotten what amazing fingers the man has. The notes just come rippling out like so many twinkles of sunlight!!

He is just warming up, too. Concert at 4PM, Mom!! Come on over!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 02:56 PM

Good luck with that, Janie! My son has my SansaFuze. I suspect I've seen the last of it. I knew how to work it. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 02:02 PM

MOM! MOM!

SumYungSun is back from the wilds of the Adirondacks. He promises me he get teach me to operate the iPod shuffle!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 12:51 PM

Aren't good old American speakers good enough for you, Amos? Or is that more of the pseudo-Socal-neoconservatism all you Republicans-In-The-Closet practice?

And if I bought speakers and they all they did was warble I'd take 'em back. But as my Viking ancestors used to say, "A chacun a son gout", which translates as "A chicken, a sound, and gout."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 12:20 PM

Mom! Mom!!

The new amplifier and the new Vienna speakers (in rich cherry hardwood finish) came!! They are all hooked up and the living room is full of rich warbles--"I know that my Redeemer liveth" at volume, an AWESOME room full of sweet frequencies. GROOOOOOVY, man!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 11:54 AM

Sorry, but after failing to get a good trade yesterday I was tired and needed my sleepy-bye. I was nestled all snug in my bed while visions of seeded bumps danced in my head. Perhaps today I'll be able to cut some of the grass and plant a few flowers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 11:47 AM

I think she was languishing in dismay when she heard Rapaire was out hocking her little ones. I mean really!! Such a brute, that retired bookman. Is it possible thta the only thing that kept him restrained to a thin veneer of civilization was being surrounded by readers and tomes all day? Since he has gotten out he's been...rapairacious!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Jun 10 - 10:49 AM

Whoa, nearly 15 hours later I come back and MOM is languishing down near the drop off point. What were all of you thinking?

I know, you found Patrick Boivin's wonderful little films on YouTube. Distracting, aren't they? Love that Bruce Lee vs Ironman. Surprise ending!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 07:00 PM

I got a plumber to give me a discount on the trip to the roof with one of those roto rooter things the first time I had to call one out for a clogged drain. Since he didn't have a ladder handy and I loaned him mine, it seemed only fair to ask for a *little* discount. And that was the wrong pipe, anyway. We now know that it is the one in the wall under the kitchen window. And that's why I don't plant right up to that spot, so if I have to call them out, they won't get in trouble for treading in my veggies or flowers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 05:12 PM

LH... silly question... hehehehe... >;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 04:50 PM

Couldn't cut any deals, dagnabit. So's I brought all back. Sure coulda used a new gun, too...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 04:15 PM

Does he have a wife named Jessica?


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