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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 25 Oct 09 - 01:04 AM
Janie 24 Oct 09 - 11:48 PM
Janie 24 Oct 09 - 11:39 PM
Ed T 24 Oct 09 - 05:14 PM
Acme 24 Oct 09 - 05:05 PM
Ed T 24 Oct 09 - 04:21 PM
Acme 24 Oct 09 - 03:57 PM
Amos 24 Oct 09 - 02:48 PM
Janie 24 Oct 09 - 02:39 PM
Ed T 24 Oct 09 - 01:02 PM
GUEST,MOM MOAB 24 Oct 09 - 12:02 PM
Ed T 24 Oct 09 - 10:14 AM
Ed T 24 Oct 09 - 10:00 AM
Acme 24 Oct 09 - 01:31 AM
Rapparee 23 Oct 09 - 10:23 PM
Rapparee 23 Oct 09 - 06:59 PM
Amos 23 Oct 09 - 05:55 PM
MMario 23 Oct 09 - 04:06 PM
Amos 23 Oct 09 - 04:02 PM
MMario 23 Oct 09 - 03:45 PM
Rapparee 23 Oct 09 - 03:43 PM
Amos 23 Oct 09 - 03:36 PM
Acme 23 Oct 09 - 01:35 PM
Amos 23 Oct 09 - 12:56 PM
Janie 23 Oct 09 - 12:12 PM
Little Hawk 23 Oct 09 - 11:23 AM
Rapparee 23 Oct 09 - 10:07 AM
Rapparee 23 Oct 09 - 09:47 AM
MMario 23 Oct 09 - 08:28 AM
Amos 23 Oct 09 - 01:24 AM
Janie 23 Oct 09 - 12:37 AM
Little Hawk 22 Oct 09 - 11:15 PM
Little Hawk 22 Oct 09 - 10:21 PM
Rapparee 22 Oct 09 - 09:01 PM
Amos 22 Oct 09 - 06:36 PM
Ed T 22 Oct 09 - 06:10 PM
Ed T 22 Oct 09 - 06:07 PM
Ed T 22 Oct 09 - 05:58 PM
Ed T 22 Oct 09 - 05:58 PM
Rapparee 22 Oct 09 - 05:33 PM
Little Hawk 22 Oct 09 - 05:15 PM
Amos 22 Oct 09 - 05:06 PM
Rapparee 22 Oct 09 - 04:43 PM
Amos 22 Oct 09 - 12:02 PM
Amos 22 Oct 09 - 11:41 AM
Acme 22 Oct 09 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 22 Oct 09 - 08:55 AM
Rapparee 22 Oct 09 - 08:48 AM
Amos 22 Oct 09 - 02:05 AM
Janie 22 Oct 09 - 12:39 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 09 - 01:04 AM

Wait...his first date? Was with MOM?? Isn't everybody's?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 24 Oct 09 - 11:48 PM

Rapaire's first date WAS with MOM.

That's why neither she or he is talkin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 24 Oct 09 - 11:39 PM

Decided to be more subtle, sat two rows behind and used a yardstick;>)

Actually, because it was an R-rated movie, I had to buy a ticket and go in with them, sit until the movie started, and then leave. (Two kids got removed from the theatre just before the movie started because they were too young and did not have an adult with them, so I guess theatres take this pretty seriously.)

So, while the starry-eyed young lovers watched Zombieland then had supper, I took myself to supper, bought a new charger for my cell phone and some ice cream bowls, wandered through Pottery Barn and Williams-Sonoma, then camped out at Barnes & Nobles for another 2 1/2 hours.   And ran into several other parents that I know who were doing exactly the same thing.

All of our kids are 15 with learner permits. In my case, I live 30 miles west of the Mall. Girlfriend lives 30 miles south of the Mall. Her Mom was kind enough to take her to the Mall, and I drove her home, so had a chance to chat with her some.

First impression? I approve.

And will I ever be glad when he has his driver's license and a job to pay for his own dates and gasoline!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 24 Oct 09 - 05:14 PM

I get it thinned out at the barbers each week, or it gets too bushy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Oct 09 - 05:05 PM

MOM says don't get your hair cut, let it get a little longer. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 24 Oct 09 - 04:21 PM

Thanks folks, (and Stilly River Sage) on a closer look, it is a good place, (he said with ruffled hair ,a blushful face and discomposed walk).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Oct 09 - 03:57 PM

That old thread MOM sent you to is great reading--did you try it? The trick is to go to the end, where the current posts are. Amos probably puts the most stuff up there.

Yes, Janie. Sit way far away and try not to stare at them, if you feel you must go into the film also. My choice would be to not go in. I don't know if my son actually has a special friend--he does everything with groups and I haven't asked. It'll sort itself out.

My daughter's first date was a casual thing, she and the boy across the street chose a local restaurant they could walk to and just went for lunch. They didn't ask anyone's permission (both were about 16, so it wasn't like either was robbing the cradle).

MOM is being nice and not telling stories about all of our first dates. We were such an awkward group when we were youthful, weren't we?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 09 - 02:48 PM

I like the balogna detector. I don't turn it on when I am around here because it would straight overload and blow out a circuit ringing bells and flashing red lights. Thanks for the link.

Well, now, Mom is a special case, but she has a big, big heart. Invent some pure, golden brand-new original BS for her and she'll love ya forever.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 24 Oct 09 - 02:39 PM

Well MOM, I finally get to meet SumYungSun's new girlfriend today -the one that gave him the big hickey at lunchtime the other day of which he is so proud.

Gonna taxi them to a movie.

I'm new at being the mother of a dating, hormone-laden teen. Do you think it would be inappropriate for me to go into the movie also and sit directly behind them, wooden ruler in hand?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 24 Oct 09 - 01:02 PM

....Its alright for some but not alright for me.
When the one that Im lovin cant be found.
The city where we live might be quite large.
But, the circle is small.
why not tell us all and then all of us will know....
.....
And, youre doin it to me.
Baby, cant you see that I know how it is....

.... "The Circle is Small" by the much revered Mr. Lightfoot


"Ummmm.... MOM Guest... isn't 2007 kinda....like....kinda not, like current, not here and now..and...like kinda not much read....like down in the boon docks" (he said ernestly, covering his head with caution, with extreme shame, and ... somewhat in fear)?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MOM MOAB
Date: 24 Oct 09 - 12:02 PM

Ed, son, sit down beside me for a minute. taps sofa

The bologna detection kit is redundant over here at MOAB, but whatever. I chuckled at it, but bologna is our business. My point is, this is a BS thread. The kids keep me happy with their bantering and sometimes they post pretty pictures and if they find an article about one of us, they share. The sex worker grave article (pretty lady, by the way) needs to be shared with more people, so it should be posted on News of Note (was "I read it. . .").

Ruffles Ed's hair

I've been aware for a while that you see the MOAB as a place to park wacky articles, but it actually isn't for that. Use that other thread for unusual and sometimes poignant articles so more people beyond the three or four of my kids who read over here might see it.

MOM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 24 Oct 09 - 10:14 AM

To be used to detect "Shanelogic":

http://www.xenu.net/archive/baloney_detection.html


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 24 Oct 09 - 10:00 AM

I never did any petting in a cemetery....but I'd wager there's a McBride (or is it Mac) somewhere who did? Speaking about how to perk up a cemetery....maybe even the dead:

http://www.boingboing.net/2009/07/02/german-cemetery-nixe.html


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Oct 09 - 01:31 AM

You're all het up about a number that is yards and yards away? Is it that slow an autumn?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 10:23 PM

What bothered me was the time I visited a pet cemetery and as I approached the graves of the dogs all of these tails were wagging. Tails from the crypt indeed!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 06:59 PM

Amos only fell in because he was dancing on the grave. Seems like he'd known the dead guy and when he stumbled across his grave he (Amos) was so happy he had to do a totentanz. I explained to Mom that it wasn't Amos's fault that the coffin had decayed and Amos was effectively dancing on air (or sort of air). You shouldn't bring it up again because Mom was very understanding and even gave Amos some cookies and milk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 05:55 PM

Aw, Emm, a little deadman's dust never killed anyone!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 04:06 PM

Amos - MOM just called, and she is really upset that you are playing in the cemetary again.


She worries, you know?

And she was fretting, because she thought you had had enough of messing around with graves and gravestones after you fell into the crypt the LAST time...and of course she claims you can catch all sorts of dieases from deadman's dust.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 04:02 PM

At thirty one and eight nineteen
The hands were feeling dry,
There was dust in all their crevices,
And dust filled up the sky.
Then someone hollered "There's a light!"
And damn if it wasn't so!
A single solid golden beam
Pointing straight to the earth below.

Then thunder cracked and the light grew strong,
And a great split opened the land!!
And Amos walked right out of that grave,
With a fifth of rum in his hand!!
There was shouts and hollers from all hands,
Mostly asking for that rum.
ANd the boys were ready to kneel and pray,
If he'd only give them some.

So we finished that fifth and we cinched our belts,
And we turned to the rail once more,
Though our hands were chapped, and our fingers bled,
And our arms and backs were sore.
And as evening came across the land,
The dust stole off with the day.
But we never slowed, not a single hand,
Bound for thirty-two of Kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 03:45 PM

Remember when people said we'd never go over ten thousand?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 03:43 PM

Amos dropped down where he stood,
Laying hardbed rail
And I couldn't him out at all
'Cause I was blasting shale.
So the Rounders tossed him in a hole
And stood around to pray
Then shoveled fill on top of the boy
On the road to thirty-two kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 03:36 PM

When the wind came up in the afternoon,
It was 31-9 or bust!
And our hands were scarred from flying grit,
And our eyes were red from dust.
Still we hammered on with what we had
We would not give up the ghost.
We knew somewhere in the gloom ahead
Was the 32 thousandth post.

So we slammed the hammers down again
And we dug the railbed hard.
And we tamped and lined and dug again,
Sweating blood for every yard.
It wasn't love, nor loot, nor dames
That drove us so that day;
'Twas the wild-eyed call of Mom--sweet Mom!
For the thirty-two of Kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 01:35 PM

I heard Shatner is in Ontairo this week. Did you go visit him already, or are you leaving because he knows where you live?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 12:56 PM

IF Little Hawk is getting into Politics, we can anticipate interesting times of the most dire sort...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 12:12 PM

I'm worried about how Ottawa will manage WITH you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 11:23 AM

I am going to Ottawa for the weekend. Try to manage without me!

I shall return probably on Monday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 10:07 AM

Kids today just don't think their poems through, that's all. I blame television, video games,and the education system. By God, it's not like it was when I was in school back then we learned by God and if we didn't we knew we'd pay for it in later life and so we walked fifteen miles to school each day uphill both ways with wolf packs dogging our heeels in the shoulder-deep snow but kids these days don't mutter mutter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 09:47 AM

Hmph! Could have ended with "beat her" or "meet her" or "treat her" or "cheat her" or "teeter" or "Reeter" or "neater" or "seat her" or even "skeeter". Hmph.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 08:28 AM

BRAVA Janie!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 01:24 AM

LMAO!! Jaysus, Janie, you could make a hero weep!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 23 Oct 09 - 12:37 AM

Then Janie spake, "Fer Heaven's sake
What's all this ruckus for?
32K ain't makin' hay, 'tis a number, nothing more.
Nice and round with big vowel sounds, ok, I'll give you that.
Amos, shook his head and touched the big brim of his hat.
Breathing deep, he laid a post and boldly hit submit.
Dear MOM, he sighed (he nearly cried) you raised some idiots.
Some of them can not bear to stick with rhyme or meter
Well, rhyme perhaps, but makes no sense to end this line with Peter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 11:15 PM

All dressed up to kill,
Hard liquor they swilled,
As they sang in a ribald way,
Some ancient old tune
That ryhmed moon, spoon, and June
On the journey to 32K.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 10:21 PM

They gibbered and drank,
The svelte and the swank,
They frittered their nights away,
Composing in ryhme,
Some doggerel to climb,
To the summit of 32K.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 09:01 PM

And then we reached that distant shore
And we could not let it be
For in the distance glimmered bright
The kay of thirty-three!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 06:36 PM

There was a hundred and ninety-eight to go,
And that's easy enough to say.
But lining them out in that red-hot sun
Is a different price to pay!
"Come and tap those keys!! Bring your Submit on!"
The Mother cussed, and yelled.
"New posts! New posts" and post we did,
For thrity-two kay, or hell.

All night athat night we sang that lay
As the moon danced through the trees.
Little Hawk even showed up once,
With strange scrapes on his knees.
And a coupla new guys came around,
'Round the middle of the day,
Cuz the din and the drive could not be stayed,
Bound for 32 of Kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 06:10 PM

.... You want my advice? Oh, yes, please. Go back to Bulgaria.

Quote from CASABLANCA


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 06:07 PM

"I wish I were
not sensual....
I wish I had not got from my mother,
Or my father was it,
This need to grasp and be grasped,
Because it drives me into the arms of idiots
Who want to crush me.
Wonderful, idiotic crushing in the night.
Can't you just
crush me in the night?"HOWARD BARKER



"It's a small apartment,
I've barely enough room
To lay my hat
And a few friends!" DOROTHY PARKER


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 05:58 PM

I like it


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 05:58 PM

The pleasure is momentary,
The position ridiculous
And the expense damnable!

Earl of Chesterfield


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 05:33 PM

Then Shame McBride, with a might stride
Walked right off the cliffside way
Fell three thousand feet but landed neat
On the way to thirty-two kay.

He landed neat, but not on his feet
For his head got in the way
So he wasn't hurt by the rocks and dirt
On the way to thirty-two kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 05:15 PM

What the heck are you people on about now?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 05:06 PM

Then its "Heist that gravel and bed 'er down!"
And "Tap 'er once and stay!"
And the hammers rang as the bright new steel
Lined up for another K.
Rapaire was there, with his chest all bare.
But the Hawk, he stayed away.
And the ties went hard down for every yard
We made toward another K.

Then the steel spikes sang, as the hammers rang
And we locked down another chain
And yard by yard, though the work was hard,
We built, and ne'er complained.
And Still was there, to offer care
When a hammer smashed a toe
And as it came on night, we saw it right,
Where we wuz, and had yet to go.

Come dawn anew, and the whole damn crew
Was there, though it cost them sore.
'Cuz we knew that day'd see us on the way
An' only a few days more.
We could feel it risin' past the dawn's horizon
As the sun clocked out the day;
Swing the hammer down! Sure as Gawd, we're bound
For the thirty-two of K.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 04:43 PM

Then Amos found some giant powder
Jist a-sittin' on a tray
And we were afraid, the way he tossed the keg
We'd be blown to thirty-two kay.

But he drilled a hole and rammed it full
Tamped the powder in without a stay
And blew the hardrock all to hell
On the way to thirty-two kay.

We mucked out the rock and mud and all
And before us a vista lay
Of shining mounts and shady vales
Downhill, in thirty-two kay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 12:02 PM

We wuz pushing for thirty-two of K
My messmates on the thread.
We were swollen up, and weak of eye,
And sore and weak of head.
But they handed out the shifting irons,
And the foreman he did say,
"Take out and swing this hammer, Jack,
For the thirty-two of K."

Now some of us took the handcar out
And scooted out ahead,
And some of us stood in that burning sun
And cussed the whole damn thread.
And some of starting shifting track,
And eyeing where it lay,
And moving rock and hammering shocks,
Toward the thirty-two of K.

We were up against a deep shale cut
In the hardest kind of soil.
And the hammers rang and the rounders sang
And the newbies reeled from toil.
And we cut a swath like Gawd's own path
Through that hard adobe clay.
And we doubted hard we would ever see
The thirty-two of K.

(Part II to follow)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 11:41 AM

This thread is going to the dogs.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 10:36 AM

I have a toothsome girl who does a great nose-crinkling smile, but she is so cool compared to that Shame. From my cell phone to twitpic. Cinnamon in her shades.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 08:55 AM

Shame is also full of it, and in its own way it too is perfection.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 08:48 AM

Which Amos has already filled. Mom is proud of him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 02:05 AM

Janie:

That means its working. We are but vessels for perfection.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 22 Oct 09 - 12:39 AM

Jaysus.

After reading through today's offerings, now I know why I hang out here as much as I do.

Makes me feel superior.


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