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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 08 Mar 16 - 09:26 PM
Rapparee 08 Mar 16 - 07:57 PM
Little Hawk 08 Mar 16 - 06:59 PM
Amos 08 Mar 16 - 06:49 PM
Rapparee 08 Mar 16 - 01:48 PM
Donuel 08 Mar 16 - 12:49 PM
Little Hawk 08 Mar 16 - 11:11 AM
Little Hawk 08 Mar 16 - 11:07 AM
Amos 08 Mar 16 - 10:26 AM
Rapparee 08 Mar 16 - 01:24 AM
Acme 07 Mar 16 - 10:39 PM
Rapparee 07 Mar 16 - 10:30 PM
Little Hawk 07 Mar 16 - 09:44 PM
Acme 07 Mar 16 - 08:33 PM
Little Hawk 07 Mar 16 - 06:52 PM
gnu 07 Mar 16 - 02:24 PM
Rapparee 07 Mar 16 - 11:52 AM
Amos 07 Mar 16 - 03:06 AM
Rapparee 07 Mar 16 - 01:26 AM
Amos 07 Mar 16 - 12:18 AM
Acme 06 Mar 16 - 10:10 PM
Acme 06 Mar 16 - 10:08 PM
gnu 06 Mar 16 - 04:14 PM
Rapparee 06 Mar 16 - 02:25 PM
Little Hawk 06 Mar 16 - 10:38 AM
Little Hawk 06 Mar 16 - 10:37 AM
Amos 05 Mar 16 - 04:17 PM
Acme 05 Mar 16 - 12:20 PM
Rapparee 05 Mar 16 - 01:37 AM
Rapparee 04 Mar 16 - 10:14 PM
Amos 04 Mar 16 - 01:08 AM
Rapparee 03 Mar 16 - 11:42 AM
Acme 03 Mar 16 - 09:26 AM
Amos 03 Mar 16 - 01:25 AM
Rapparee 02 Mar 16 - 10:08 PM
Amos 02 Mar 16 - 07:57 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 16 - 07:13 PM
Acme 02 Mar 16 - 05:10 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 16 - 01:57 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 16 - 12:21 AM
Acme 01 Mar 16 - 10:42 PM
Amos 01 Mar 16 - 07:06 PM
Amos 01 Mar 16 - 07:05 PM
Amos 01 Mar 16 - 07:03 PM
Amos 01 Mar 16 - 07:01 PM
gnu 01 Mar 16 - 05:20 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 16 - 12:01 PM
Acme 01 Mar 16 - 07:54 AM
Amos 01 Mar 16 - 12:32 AM
gnu 29 Feb 16 - 06:10 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 09:26 PM

Well, except for "The Room". By Tommy Wiseau.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 07:57 PM

Yes indeed, Amos! I meant to give Chinga her due, for it was she that gave the movie a depth of meaning rarely, if ever, achieved. The climactic scene where Chinga saves Bogart from...well, I shiver to think of it. Possibly the greatest movie ever made, bar none.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 06:59 PM

"the vengeful years immediately following the incident of his illegitimate and controversial retirement"

Ummm...I presume you are referring to Raparee, Donuel? You must be, because Chongo is nowhere near retirement. Yes, I know about the dreadful stuff Rap did following his...."retirement". Alas, I wish I had never known! I am haunted day and night by it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 06:49 PM

I am embarrassed that you left out the leading animal female co-star, Chnga Chimp, who was instrumental in returning the incarnation of Chthulu to his disincarnate condition in a fiery climactic confrontation, which, as I recall, involved several bananas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 01:48 PM

I suppose they have both been led astray by the film "Cthulu Calling", a flick recently discovered in the vaults of the Motion Picture Academy, which starred Humphrey Bogart, Joan Collins, and Shirley Temple.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 12:49 PM

Little Hawk, perhaps if memory serves, could you recall the vengeful years immediately following the incident of his illegitimate and controversial retirement?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 11:11 AM

Regarding the alleged chant by the sea, Rap, I don't think Shane is even capable of managing to pronounce any of those words. His linguistic skills are not all that advanced, you know.

Chongo? Yeah, Chongo could probably manage it. He's considerably more cultured than Shane. But would he? How does Cthulhu jibe with a worldview that is based on old Humphrey Bogart films? Not too well....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 11:07 AM

Well, those kind of ceremonials are a way of formalizing on the outside the various feelings that people are attempting to process on the inside when they have lost a friend or relative. If handled properly, I should think they could be quite helpful to some people no matter what religious tradition or form they are taking place in. It's all a question of who is conducting those ceremonials and how much sensitivity they bring to the process.

I've attended Christian funerals, Wiccan funerals, North American traditional Native funerals, and Hindu funerals. They all served basically the same purpose, though the formalities differed. In most cases, I'd say they had a useful effect for many of those who were there. It's a way of showing respect and memorializing someone you've known. You don't have to be "religious" to want to do that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 10:26 AM

Calls to the great Goat Beast by a chimp? Jaysus.

Last night I went to a funeral, Mom. A Catholic funeral, and I can only hope mine gets as well-attended. Seriously there were five generations of Italian-descent, plus scores of other sorts drifting around, a huge spread of the best Italian foods, followed by a very long service, led by a man in a white hat and robe thing.

God only knows I am not a loyal Christian, but I can see how comforting and strengthening it might be to roll with a tribe like that, using well=oiled rituals and detailed imagery that others can't see to sort of weld the many into a one. While it is not my path, it is certainly interesting.

Anyway, the dog was very happy to see us when we finally got home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Mar 16 - 01:24 AM

Truly, I should not do this, but decency prompts me.

A very trustworthy source states that Chongx and Shame were seen and videotaped by a surveillance camera standing on the beach at the old Massachusetts seaport of Innsmouth, chanting "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" over and over. An agency of the US government is said to have responded to this information with, "Oh, not again! I thought we'd cleaned that up for good in the 1920s!"

I will leave it to others to determine, as I have, the meaning of this information.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 10:39 PM

I bet I know - and you probably learned it about Amos as well. Maybe even me - we're sapiosexual. Yup. It's out in the open now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 10:30 PM

Were I not a reasonable person I may have taken umbrage, LH, but I promised Amos not to offend others. I try to keep my word and so I cannot post what research has turned up about the Chongx-Shame Axis of the Unholy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 09:44 PM

I'm still in a state of numb shock over the shocking info I unearthed about Rap.

I'm surprised it hasn't caused my mind to become unhinged.

In retrospect, I think it's a good thing that it vanished into cyberspace, and will never be seen, because the world just isn't ready for those kind of revelations.

So it may have been an act of God.

Chongo is going to be disappointed, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 08:33 PM

So, as a test, I just now hit ^P and the page transformed before my eyes and offered to use 11 pages just to print the header with all of the sets of 50 pages plus these remarks. Yup. The others may have been around for ~40 years, but ^P has been around even longer. But it is rarely used. I'll have to play with it a bit, see if it is faster than using the snipping tool (saving print job as PDF).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 06:52 PM

On Chongo's request, I finally revealed all the dreadful truth about Raparree, ALL the sordid details that have been hidden from the public for decades, EVERY salacious bit of horrid, monstrous, inhuman stuff that he has done since he was 6 years old!!!!!!!!!

It took 6 hours of typing to get it all down.

It went on for pages and pages, enough to fill a small book.

And some of it would just curl your hair! Horrifying, sordid, unnatural acts!

So, anyway, I took the time to type it all out and post it here, according to Chongo's instructions, because he's had enough of Raparree's political attacks and the gloves are OFF now.

And you know what happened?

I forgot to copy it before I posted, and it all vanished into the ether!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 02:24 PM

I thought Standing Orders required a pilot to yell "BANK" ASAP. No??? Geeze! That's what I call a "tight asshole moment". Thanks to Big Smitty for allowing us the pleasure of your present company.

Fuuuuu........!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 11:52 AM

I'm sure I will, Amos, especially since it has your recommendation. That will come next week, when we're ensconced in our "little grass shack" condo on Maui, though. If I may enter a personal note, however: when I was last in a helicopter (a UH-1 "slick") the pilot banked and I went sliding toward the open door on the opposite side; fortunately Big Smitty grabbed me before I made an unexpected exit about 200 feet up and yes, I bought him several beers that evening.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 03:06 AM

Oh, do take the helicopter tour. You'll love it, I'm sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 01:26 AM

My, it has been a pleasant day. Lovely weather, and the sunrise over the beach was a piece of unexpected delight. Tomorrow we visit the "Grand Canyon of the Pacific." Hawai'i is certainly a nice place, and I recommend a visit to everyone!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 16 - 12:18 AM

Command-V or CTRL--V have been paste commands for, oh, forty years or so. One would think it would be a well-learned custom by now.   

Another path is to select all and copy in the post's own text window just before hitting Submit, That way if it fails you can just go back and paste it into the htread a second time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Mar 16 - 10:10 PM

. . . an afterthought - ^V doesn't make sense like A and C (all and copy), but I suspect ^P is already taken for something like "print."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Mar 16 - 10:08 PM

Indeed. I'm surprised it took till now for LH to conclude that one must keep a copy of any message. SOP to do ^A then ^C to select and copy. And of course, ^V for paste.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Mar 16 - 04:14 PM

LH... copying your post or writing it in a word processor first has been in the Standing Orders at Mudcat for YEARS. Please do try to keep up.

Happy gnu Eve all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 16 - 02:25 PM

These islands are quite nice indeed. I slept late today and must do laundry and prepare my medicines for the week. I trust all is well back on the mainland?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Mar 16 - 10:38 AM

It took 3 attempts to get that last message to show up. Three! The previous message, which was a salute to my esteemed friend, Amos, vanished forever into cyberspace.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Mar 16 - 10:37 AM

One of the things I hate about Mudcat is, I compose a lengthy post, hit "submit message", and it vanishes forever. ARGH!!! Must I copy and save every damn thing I say before daring to post it on this site?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Mar 16 - 04:17 PM

It is a quiet Saturday. Let us fill it with anticipation for Gnu's birthday coming just ahead, and offer him the finest wishes and applause for his durability.

And to Rapparree, the warmest wishes for safe and delightful travels, in the land of infinite pineapple and innumerable haoli. And to Acme, profound thanks for her steady influence in the sprawls and hooleys of the 'Cat and blessings on her fine dogs as well. And to Little Hawk, who comes now much too seldom, may he be revered for his Dylan covers long after Chongo is finally forgotten.

And here's a glass to Max, and to Mom, who made it all possible, and to the distant echoes of the royal, inimitable King Khandu!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Mar 16 - 12:20 PM

I hope your arms don't get tired.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 16 - 01:37 AM

Please pardon the typo. It should read, "Tomorrow we fly to Kenai'i."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 16 - 10:14 PM

Yes, apart from the few glitches every trip encounters it has been quite pleasant. Tommoro we fly to Kanai'i.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 16 - 01:08 AM

Sounds like a true Gran Turismo experience.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 16 - 11:42 AM

Our group leader is of native Hawaiian and Chinese descent. She plays ʻukulele, guitar, cello, and piano as well as having sung in various regional choral groups. She and her husband (who is leading another group at the moment) have lived and taught all over the world and currently live in Volcano, Hawai'i. She is fluent in Hawaiian, German, Chinese, and, of course, English. Last evening after dinner she was teaching us some of the hand signs of the hula; we have had and continue to have instruction in Hawaiian songs and music. Her husband, by the way, is originally from Kilkenny, Ireland.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Mar 16 - 09:26 AM

In the land of the ukulele and slack string guitar one hopes you'll get out to some music venues, with or without pork on a plate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 16 - 01:25 AM

Gracious, considering the gaucheness of my typing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 10:08 PM

Of course, Amos. I shan't intentionally offend anyone or anything ever again and I apologize to anyone whom I have offended.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 07:57 PM

As Pogo Terwilliger once said, "I have met the long pig, and he is US!"

And, Rapparree, put away your petty-minded sniveling jealousies. You do not to carp and snipe and your fellow sibs under the broad umbrella of Mom's benevolence.

Find some more deserving target, I prithee, sirrah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 07:13 PM

Eventually, it is. Probably not for a while yet. There is something called "long pig" on the menu tonight; I don't know what it is but I have been very well fed since I've been here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 05:10 PM

When will you tell us about luaus and roast pig? Is that on the schedule?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 01:57 PM

Here is a useful term: 'iole 'okole. It is useful for many things and many situations, but malama pono! You may think "'A'ole au e ike" but 'ua hewa 'oe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 16 - 12:21 AM

Pish and balderdash and tush!
Amos could not do it alone!
Without his betters and his peers
He would be but a useless drone
Buzzing lonely 'round the bush
Hitting up others for his beers
Playing, on a cranked guitar,
"Pop goes the mulberry bush"
Or "All around the weasel."

   --Dyedland T. O'Mas, A Kid's Bris in Wales (New North Wales: Wails Press, 1767).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 10:42 PM

That's quite an accomplishment, Amos. 54,000. It doesn't spin or anything, but it's still pretty darned good. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 07:06 PM

And this is it! The Kay Has Come!
Go sound the trumpet and the drum!
Bring out the booze! Make dresses sway
And dance the livelong night away
For Mom has made Five Four of Kay!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 07:05 PM

The panting grows in deep intensity
Orgasmic hope now rises high!
Despite their massive mental density
The Catter4s all take up the cry!
Onward, oh onward! Rise high! Make way!

Here comes the Fifty Four of K!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 07:03 PM

ALl but three have made their way
Toward the Fifty-Four of Kay
And as the day draws slowly down,
And streetlights glimmer in the town,
The Mudcat waits, with breath abated
To see its thirst for glory sated.
Harroo, harrah! Callooo, callay!
Here comes the Fifty Four of K!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 07:01 PM

Oh, do not question Rapparree
Or doubt the truth of what he sees
Although his truths all seem elective
And seeing them a bit subjective,
You will not bring him to the light
By questioning all day and night.
Because, quite simply, his delight
Is not in Truth, but Being Right!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 05:20 PM

"In the to stomach of a silver bird
There squeezed out like a fresh cheese curd"

Ewwwwwwww.... why?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 12:01 PM

Here I sit in sunny Hawai'i
Going from K2 off to Maui
In the to stomach of a silver bird
There squeezed out like a fresh cheese curd
Off I am to Kahului
To visit the lovely 'Iao Valley
Where the King Kamehameha
Fought a mighty mighty battle
Dammed the river with his enemies' bodies
As the people said, "Oh, damn!"

      --'Amo Sesu'p (trans.), "The Travel Song of Rappa Ree Which Has Great Meter And Rhyme In 8th Century Polynesian, Where It Is Known As 'Oa 'Oa Nuanuahumuhumu a'a Mauna Loa a'a Pau Hanna" (Dingleberry, Connecticut: Cider Press, 1874, rep. every year since).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 07:54 AM

Amos, I bet if you recycle something from the low 20,000's no one would know they're seeing the same poem again. (Or maybe you're already doing that?)

Six to go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 16 - 12:32 AM

Eight to show,
Seven to go,
Only Mom
Ca really know.
Not Gnu or Hawk
Or even me
Not even bloated
Rapparree
When the next K
Post will show
Only Mom
Can really know...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Feb 16 - 06:10 PM

"In like a lamb... " We are fucked. 14C and sunny today. Pray for us.


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