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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 17 Mar 09 - 09:35 PM
Janie 17 Mar 09 - 09:10 PM
Amos 17 Mar 09 - 05:39 PM
Rapparee 17 Mar 09 - 04:54 PM
MMario 17 Mar 09 - 04:43 PM
Amos 17 Mar 09 - 04:30 PM
Rapparee 17 Mar 09 - 04:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Mar 09 - 04:18 PM
Amos 17 Mar 09 - 03:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Mar 09 - 03:49 PM
Acme 17 Mar 09 - 03:33 PM
Rapparee 17 Mar 09 - 02:56 PM
Amos 17 Mar 09 - 02:54 PM
Rapparee 17 Mar 09 - 02:42 PM
Amos 17 Mar 09 - 12:32 PM
MMario 17 Mar 09 - 12:18 PM
Rapparee 17 Mar 09 - 11:53 AM
Amos 17 Mar 09 - 11:19 AM
Amos 17 Mar 09 - 09:55 AM
Acme 17 Mar 09 - 09:50 AM
Rapparee 17 Mar 09 - 09:04 AM
Amos 17 Mar 09 - 12:43 AM
Acme 16 Mar 09 - 11:49 PM
Amos 16 Mar 09 - 11:32 PM
Acme 16 Mar 09 - 06:56 PM
Rapparee 16 Mar 09 - 05:52 PM
Amos 16 Mar 09 - 03:26 PM
GUEST,Don McBride 16 Mar 09 - 01:14 PM
Amos 16 Mar 09 - 12:58 PM
GUEST,Don McBride 16 Mar 09 - 12:55 PM
Amos 16 Mar 09 - 11:52 AM
Amos 16 Mar 09 - 09:49 AM
Rapparee 16 Mar 09 - 08:39 AM
Rapparee 16 Mar 09 - 08:20 AM
Amos 16 Mar 09 - 01:22 AM
Rapparee 15 Mar 09 - 07:46 PM
Amos 15 Mar 09 - 06:07 PM
Rapparee 15 Mar 09 - 05:41 PM
Amos 15 Mar 09 - 05:16 PM
GUEST,Don McBride 15 Mar 09 - 02:55 PM
Rapparee 15 Mar 09 - 01:06 PM
Acme 15 Mar 09 - 12:17 PM
Rapparee 15 Mar 09 - 11:57 AM
Rapparee 15 Mar 09 - 07:58 AM
Amos 15 Mar 09 - 04:27 AM
Janie 15 Mar 09 - 12:52 AM
Acme 15 Mar 09 - 12:21 AM
Janie 15 Mar 09 - 12:01 AM
Amos 14 Mar 09 - 11:54 PM
Acme 14 Mar 09 - 10:45 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 09:35 PM

We get people in the Library every day who think it's a drink.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 09:10 PM

Somp'n? How 'bout Aqua Velva ? It was, after-all, a mouthwash before it was an aftershave.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 05:39 PM

YEah, but them Reagents are the Board of Purer Spirits--more like aquavite or somp'n.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 04:54 PM

The board of reagents? Like nitric acid and stuff?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 04:43 PM

It's a bit indelicate, but a dead person has "passed" because the sphincters relax upon death, the the expected results.

As far as Amos' comments re: Heavenly Standards, I blame it on the Board of Reagants and their demonic "No Soul Left Behind" program


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 04:30 PM

Well, now, BeeDub, it didn't useter be that simple. Back in the day, the grading system was a lot tougher, and many folks had to re-tread some of their courses before they could actually graduate, but they passed anyway, and went elsewhere, and were otherwise, until such time as they finished it all up with a graduating grade. Nowadays, with populations of congregations declining and the dollar a bit tighter, you practically are guaranteed graduation even if all you know is a couple of basic recitations, no understanding required. And you wonder why life in Heaven ain't what it useter be!! I swan!! Well, mebbe you don't wonder that. But Glory Day, I yam here to tell you it useter be a lot tougher. These days anyone who is smaller than a camel can get in because of all the lobbying that has gone on over the years. It has had an erosive effect, you might say, on the Standards of Eternity.

Don't ax me to 'splain that, eiver. It's over my head, and that is for sartin sho'.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 04:27 PM

It's related to your fortune cookie fortune, Bee-Dubya.

Personally, I use the terms "dead" "croaked" "kicked off" "kicked the bucket" and "died", among others. Longer terms include "pushing up daisies" "inspecting roots from underneath" "decomposing" "staying put for a change" and "deader'n a [doornail, mackerel, yesterday's news...]".

I also like "vitality challenged" and "breath impaired".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 04:18 PM

Hi again, Mom!

Why do some people say a deceased person has "passed"? Depending upon one's belief system, I would say a dead person has either "failed" or "graduated".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 03:58 PM

Your capacity for back-force is shocking, sir. You ampere to have grown a bit short.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 03:49 PM

Hi Mom!

Wanna hear my fortune from my Chinese lunch?

"Hardly anyone knows how much is gained by ignoring the future."

What the hell does that mean?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 03:33 PM

Watt wit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 02:56 PM

If they do I'll just go my current ohm and volt the door.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 02:54 PM

BE careful they don't put you in a position where you become ungrounded, sir. The price of resistance in an ungrounded state can be ext6remely high, depending on the field.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 02:42 PM

Actually, I'm a Director.

I've tried and tried to get them to change my title to either "Dictator" or "My Lord And My God" but my pleas fall upon deaf ears.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 12:32 PM

Are you calling Rapaire a conductor? He's a librarian, isn't he? Did he jump fields and become a conductor?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 12:18 PM

resistance is proportional to length and inversely proportional to cross-section.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 11:53 AM

That is correct: resistance is feudal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 11:19 AM

Actually he's talking about the lower layer of operation and translation preceding the manual input block of the schema; in short, he uses machine code in his ideation, because, mirabile dictu, Rapaire is a Cyborg. That's why he acts like resistance is futile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 09:55 AM

Oh, you ass. You do no such thing. I call bullshit. Oh...well...then never mind.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 09:50 AM

Do you use those old cute IBM cards also?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 09:04 AM

A. You don't need to use a QWERTY keyboard and you know it.

B. I don't use a keyboard at all -- I input directly via machine code, as all people who are REALLY technologically literate do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Mar 09 - 12:43 AM

QWERTY rules the ASCII world
With a hand didactic;
QWERTY tells you how to write,
Poem or bureaucratique..
There's no use in crying woe,
Getting snide or shirty.
IF you type or process words
Your life is ruled by QWERTY!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 11:49 PM

it. I meant to type "it."

I enjoy typing on this old-style keyboard, but it doesn't seem to help with the typos. :-/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 11:32 PM

You're cooking with gas, IDaho-boy!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 06:56 PM

He has found a lineup who can stack in higher and deeper than many. Good work!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 05:52 PM

Before I left I promised a surprise. Well...here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 03:26 PM

Flippin' A, dude!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 01:14 PM

I make a pint to stay connected to reality 24/7, brother, becoz nature ain't kind to a vacume, eh? You gotta stay connected to reality to earn a flippin' livin' and stuff. Except when I am asleep. Then I dream.

- Don


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 12:58 PM

DOn,

It is refreshing to know there is SOMEONE in Canada who is slightly connected to reality...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 12:55 PM

That is a amazin' flippin' story Rap[aire. I almost beleeve you. Ma ybe it is that other guy who thinks that he is Shane. Maybe there are two of them! Holy flip. What a scary thought t hat isl eh? Maybe the space aleyens made a cloan of my baby brother to imperrill the world. Shane swears that he has got a inpersonator out there somewhreres that is tryin' to ruint his repitation and make people think he is an idiot.

I did not have the haert to tell the boy that he alreddy done that himself anyways! :-D

- Don


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 11:52 AM

I had a long, intricate and impressive ballad written on this issue, inveighing people not to be fooled by entrepreneurial schemes designed to make them fat on doughnuts, sold only to line the coffers of certain Pocatellans.

But just as I was putting the finishing lines to it, it vanished in a puff of cybersmoke.


Such is life.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 09:49 AM

IT's a Queen thing.

We don't do queens.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 08:39 AM

But the pressing, urgent, dire, question of the moment is:

Why is there a Tim Horton's (small though it is) in Coolquoy, County Dublin, Republic of Ireland and none in Pocatello, Idaho, USA?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 08:20 AM

There is when it's just a checkmark -- a tique toque, if you will.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 01:22 AM

Oh, that's foine, ladfdy, foine. Color and flavor and rhythm, excellent. I believe there is no "c" in toque, though.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 07:46 PM

Well, Amos, I'm also working on a song...here's what I have so far:

My whisk is rusty, my apron's rent
My tocque is damp with grease
And the hollandaise and the barley grains
Are thick in my Salade Nice
But my pans are as bright as my sweetheart's eye
My spatula's strong and free
What care have I for your reciepts or books?
I'm a cookin' Rapaire, I'm a cookin' Rapaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 06:07 PM

What a wonderful tale!! You should go on these long adventures more often!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 05:41 PM

Well Don, it's like this, and I got this straight from the horse's end, if you take my meaning.

My wife and I were driving the rental car back, gonna fly outa Dublin Airport, this past Friday morning. We had to top off the tank, so we pulling into a petrol station in Coolquoy, County Dublin -- I don't remember the brand, but it was one of the two stations along the R135 so it shouldn't be too hard to find.

I paid and when I came out there was a Garda (i.e., cop) there. He asked if I was Canadian and I said no, I was from the US. "Close enough at this distance," says he, "we need your help."

So I followed him around to the back of the station and there were four Gardai (copS) holding the scummiest looking human being it's been my misfortune to see in a very, very long time and I've seen some scummy ones, let me tell you.

A Sergeant came up and said, "Do you think, Sir, you could translate what this...personl...is saying? We think he wants to flip boltholes, but sure, it's hard to tell."

What the pitiable excuse for a human being was saying was very much like "Lissen you flippin' boltholes! Some Sudbury skanks tricked me and hit me on the head and when I flippin' woke up I was in a crate with a two-four of flippin BLUE and dozen day-old Tim's and it was flippin' COLD and I was goin' somewhere! So I figgered out I was in an airplane and would be rescued when I got to where ever I was goin' and then I'd hitch back from Toronto or Ottawa or where ever the flip I was and fix them flippin' bolthole skanks. Only when I woke up it was quiet and I could tell I wasn't in the flippin' airplane anymore, so I broke out of the crate and when I got outside I saw I WASN'T IN FLIPPIN' CANADA! I was so flippin' mad I screamed, which made somebody yell at me and I told them what a flippin' bolthole they were and when he came out he was like a flippin' TRUCK! So I ran. Finally I smelled (and I didn't FLIPPIN' BELIEVE IT!) what was Tim's coffee AND donuts! In where ever the flip I am! Next thing I know these four flippin' boltholes are draggin' me back through the window! I think they're cops and I'm Shane McBride of Blind River, Ontario, CANADA!"

I looked him over, such as there was to look at, and asked him quietly, "Do you know Rapaire?"

He broke into a long, not very creative, string of curses until one of the Gardai told him to "shut the feck up." I turned to the Sergeant and said, "Sergeant, I think this is Shane McBride of Blind River, Ontario. You'll have to check with the Canadian Embassy, but if it is the McBride person....

"Well, Sergeant, Shane McBride is probably the worst person in all of Ireland's long history. He betrayed Robert Emmett to the Brits, pointed out where Roger Casement was hiding in that tennis court, poisoned Theobald Wolfe Tone, sold out Owen Roe, blew out the lights on Banna Strand, informed on the Bold Fenian Men, laughed and coughed all over Pearse as he read The Declaration in front of the GPO, loaded the rifles that shot James Connolly, and gave Cromwell directions to both Armagh and Kilkenny. He got worse as he grew older."

"Right, Sir! Thank you!" said the Sergeant. Then he took out a truncheon and said to The Pitiable Excuse, "Come along, me bucko. We've got a right nice place fer yez."

I went back into the station, bought a dozen of Tim Horton's donuts which I gave to the Gardai, and then I got in the car and we left.

Just doing my bit to help law enforcement, Don.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 05:16 PM

I don't see hpw ypu can support your idle charge of abuse, Rapaire, and welcome back too. After all, Little Hawk took advantage of your absence by not posting at all!! This immediately gave rise to a rumor to the effect that Little Hawk is actually Rapaire's long-sought secret identity. Or was it the other way 'round? Anyway, given the complex array of pseudo-transactions between ourself and LH's assorted figments, including that night you spent with Chinga, it seems clear there is a solipsistic connection going on here that should be borught to Mom's attention.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 02:55 PM

How the flip could he of got over to flippin' Ireland? I think you musta seen some one else. Could be maybe a distent relative of ourn. Shane was here last ngight and today too. He is tryin' to get alloud into the liberry again to use their computers but they are sayin' "No way." No FLIPPIN' way is what I would say ifn I was them but I am not. Them peole don't say words like "flip" becoz they are too high flipp8in' class, eh?

- Don


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 01:06 PM

Don't forget the Potawatomi and the "Trail of Death." In some ways it was worse than the "Trail of Tears." And of course there's the Long Walk to the Bosque Redondo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 12:17 PM

Janie, there is a lot of information available about the Cherokee and their movements as well as their politics, land problems, even slave-owning available. It was something I came across a lot when working on my MA in English (American Indian lit was my focus). I'll send you a couple of good citations to get you started reading, if you're interested.

Rap, anyone knows that you can't use olives AND capers with such a tender flavored dish as Mediterranean house gecko on pasta. The recipe says to choose one or the other, or you'll overpower the gecko. And a little goes a long way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 11:57 AM

Well, okay, I guess nobody cares enough about Shame to what to know.

Anyway, I have returned and I found Mom was sorely neglected and abused in my absence. Fie upon you who would do such a thing! Fie, I say, fie!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 07:58 AM

That sort of gecko is best served in Extra Virgin Olive Oil infused with capers and sun-dried tomatoes, lemon, black or Kalamati olives and a side of fine pasta.

Geez, a guy comes back after flying for two days (broken only by a nice night's sleep in Chicago) and finds that you people don't even know how to cook Mediterranean gecko properly.

The BIG news is that the late Shame McBride is not dead. In fact, I spoke with him as he was being held by four Gardai behind the the petrol station in Coolquoy, County Dublin. I'll explain when I've had more sleep, but it is a story filled with danger, adventure, romance, cheap beer, and Tim Horton's Donuts. I'm very much afraid that Shame is in an Irish lockup, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 04:27 AM

Either that, or they don't love us anymore.

Well, that's so improbable as to b impossible so we'd better start a bail fund for yon Rapaire.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 12:52 AM

I've no doubt this qualifies as BS.

Easter weekend we are taking a trek with several family members way back into the hills and hollers of eastern Kentucky to visit the homeplaces and graveyards of my paternal family. The trip was originally planned for last fall but had to be cancelled.

Sister Annie started getting involved with doing genealogical research about a year ago, and it has been quite interesting. Our cultural heritage is predominantly Scotch-Irish and Welsh. All of our old world ancestors on both sides of the family came to America well before the revolution, and all of them headed for the Appalachian mountains very quickly, whether they landed in New Jersey, North Carolina, or several ports in between. All came from areas of the British Isles and during times that suggest hard times in the old world, and religious dissent as the motivators. That was not a surprise. What was a surprise was to learn that we have Native Americans in our ancestry on the paternal side. My 5 times great grandmother was half Cherokee., Anne White Cloud.   Her son, my 4 times great grandfather, was a spy for the Colonial army among tribes that fought on behalf of the British, was captured by Native Americans and taken to Ohio, where he lived for several years. It is not clear what tribe he was with, but it appears to have been one of the tribes that lived near Lake Erie. He married my 4 times great grandmother while living with them. Her father was a french fur trader and her mother was Native American.

Their gravesites are among those we are going to try to visit. We know from Annie's correspondence with distant cousins that the graveyard and grave stones still stand, but the area all around the graveyard was strip-mined about 50 years ago. The graveyard is on top of a ridge. Regulations forbade the coal company from disturbing the graveyard itself, but they stripped all around it, so access is up what nearly amounts to a cliff. Even before it was stripped, access was tough. My Dad remembers being a pallbearer for his grandfather, when I was a baby, and the ordeal it was to carry that coffin up the side of the ridge through the woods even before it was stripped.

Funny thing is this - there has long been a family legend that there was Cherokee on the maternal side of my family, but a number of family members have done research in recent years and that appears to not be true. There was never a word spoken about it on the paternal side, however. That grandfather, (Phillip Williams), was legendary in his revolutionary war activities, and was known in the family as Phillip the Indian Fighter. But the fact that he and his wife were both part Native American was never passed down in the oral traditions of the family.

You sure can't tell it by looking at me. I look like those Viking genes remained intact after landing in Scotland.

BWL must have had a good business at the rennaisance (spelling?) fair and is now too busy making more pots to BS with us.

Rapaire is probably in gaol after starting a sword fight with some one.

Either that, or they don't love us anymore.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 12:21 AM

In the window screen tussles I've seen, the one that runs is usually the one that gets bit first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 12:01 AM

Wish we had geckos here. When I used to spend winters in the Keys in an old travel trailer that was home to many geckos, I loved watching them crawl around on the windows over the lamp. Every now and then, we'd get to see two males fight. A miniature dinosaur battle is what it looked like. No one ever seemed to get hurt and we never could figure out what cosmotology determined who won and who ran.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 11:54 PM

YEah, and the frying pan in which I cooked up that gecko for Mom needs serious stripping...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 10:45 PM

I cleaned up my son's computer desk (lots of stuff in a box) and I'm sure he'll be annoyed when he comes in and finds it, but I was tired of the paper and the dust. And I moved it. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. I had to clean it to move it.

Does Mom want me to clean her oscillating fan while I'm at it? I cleaned my son's. We're getting into fan season one of these days soon.


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