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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 02 Feb 09 - 03:28 PM
Little Hawk 02 Feb 09 - 01:21 PM
Amos 02 Feb 09 - 11:10 AM
MMario 02 Feb 09 - 08:58 AM
Rapparee 02 Feb 09 - 08:46 AM
Acme 02 Feb 09 - 12:29 AM
Rapparee 01 Feb 09 - 11:23 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 09 - 02:26 PM
Acme 01 Feb 09 - 12:40 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 09 - 12:38 PM
Amos 01 Feb 09 - 12:18 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 09 - 12:10 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 09 - 10:42 AM
Rapparee 31 Jan 09 - 08:41 PM
Amos 31 Jan 09 - 08:33 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 09 - 07:14 PM
Amos 31 Jan 09 - 06:59 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 09 - 06:39 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jan 09 - 04:41 PM
Amos 31 Jan 09 - 04:18 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 09 - 03:59 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jan 09 - 03:49 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 09 - 03:34 PM
Amos 31 Jan 09 - 02:31 PM
Acme 31 Jan 09 - 12:41 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 09 - 12:29 PM
Amos 31 Jan 09 - 11:44 AM
Rapparee 31 Jan 09 - 10:27 AM
Acme 31 Jan 09 - 12:37 AM
Little Hawk 30 Jan 09 - 11:27 PM
Rapparee 30 Jan 09 - 09:18 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jan 09 - 09:14 PM
Rapparee 30 Jan 09 - 06:02 PM
Amos 30 Jan 09 - 02:14 PM
Acme 30 Jan 09 - 01:57 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jan 09 - 01:55 PM
MMario 30 Jan 09 - 01:50 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jan 09 - 01:41 PM
Rustic Rebel 30 Jan 09 - 01:36 PM
Amos 30 Jan 09 - 01:01 PM
Rapparee 30 Jan 09 - 12:40 PM
Acme 30 Jan 09 - 11:14 AM
Amos 30 Jan 09 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 30 Jan 09 - 09:29 AM
Amos 30 Jan 09 - 09:24 AM
Rapparee 30 Jan 09 - 09:18 AM
Amos 29 Jan 09 - 10:09 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 09 - 10:04 PM
Acme 29 Jan 09 - 10:01 PM
Amos 29 Jan 09 - 09:08 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 03:28 PM

Pagliacci (Players, or Clowns) is an opera consisting of a prologue and two acts written and composed by Ruggero Leoncavallo. It recounts the tragedy of a jealous husband in a commedia dell'arte troupe. (Its name is sometimes incorrectly rendered as I Pagliacci with a definite article.)

Pagliacci premiered at the Teatro Dal Verme in Milan on May 21, 1892, conducted by Arturo Toscanini with Adelina Stehle as Nedda, Fiorello Giraud as Canio, Victor Maurel as Tonio, and Mario Ancona as Silvio.

Since 1893, it has usually been performed in a double bill with Pietro Mascagni's Cavalleria rusticana, a pairing referred to in the operatic world colloquially as "Cav and Pag". It is the only one of Leoncavallo's operas that is still widely staged.


Lexical, of course, refers to words. I think that Amos means that I am an opera about two clowns with words, or perhaps an opera with words about two clowns.

Whatever he means I don't believe I know of an opera WITHOUT words. That would make the libretto difficult indeed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 01:21 PM

What in God's name is a lexical Pagliacci????

Amos, you have raised the bar on verbose pomposity again! I'm impressed. I intend to use the term "lexical Pagliacci" frequently as soon as I find out what it means, and I will use it to intimidate the less erudite around here, such as the cook over at Rombo's. He'll stare at me in stupefaction, not knowing what to say! Oh, what fun it will be! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 11:10 AM

Rapaire:

You couldn't just leave Stilly's elegantly understated suggestive post alone, could you? Had to go make it explicit, you ham-handed buffoon, you lexical Pagliacci, you. Go look you into all the bookes in youre vaste Systeme that speake of Subtletye.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 08:58 AM

So it's both a bedtime drink and a wake-up?

Though I do hope Rapaire washed his hands after playing with statistics. Those things are nasty


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 08:46 AM

Okay.

Mom, here's a nice cup of whatever-it-was-SRS-said, with your grain alcohol in it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Feb 09 - 12:29 AM

That's no kind of bedtime drink, Rapaire. Bring her a cup of chamomile tea, please!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 11:23 PM

Have some refreshment, Mom -- your favorite: grain alcohol, neat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 02:26 PM

Amos has been taking a lot of slick, glossy magazines in there lately.

You might want to wear rubber gloves (as well as your other clothes).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 12:40 PM

Whoa, MOM, how'd you let that guest bathroom get into such a state? I thought I'd help you tidy up a little here, but I see I'm going to have to go get a few buckets and a shovel to get that stack of old reading material scraped up from the corner and in front of the chifferobe. If you'd get the ceiling fan fixed the condensation from the shower wouldn't be so bad. Amazing how those glossy magazines and rotogravure sections stick together when they get moist, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 12:38 PM

Mom likes to see their sweaty, slippery bodies moving in lithesome passion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 12:18 PM

Nothing more amusing than a couple on scones.


The butter offsets the inherent scritchiness.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 12:10 PM

Here's some more tea, and a couple on nice, freshly baked scones with freshly churned butter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 09 - 10:42 AM

Mom, Mom, Mom...what ARE we going to do with you? Down with the Other Half again, and you know better too! I'm just glad I caught you before you sank too far into dissipation again. Now have some of this good tea...NO! there's no whisky in it!...and sit here with this quilt over your lap while I make you some breakfast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 08:41 PM

Oh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 08:33 PM

Oh, Rapaire, really!! If you have to ask why you would want one, you obviously wouldn't know what to do with one if you had it. So I suppose you are still waiting for yours to grow hair. Well just keep right on heating your hands and wait and see what happens.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 07:14 PM

Why would I want a hairy flagon? To go with your dairy dragon? Well, I can get dragon milk from a cow with short legs, so there, Mister Poo-Poo Head!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 06:59 PM

You think that's bad, I have it one th emost reliable of intell that Rapaire has been heating the palms of his hands several times a day, no less, in an effort to grow hair on his flagon!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 06:39 PM

MOM!! Amos is heating his flagon again!!! If he keeps it up he'll go blind and grow green hair on the palms of his hands!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 04:41 PM

I pretend to forget that from time to time, Amos, in order to pester you...and help this thread continue to fulfill its purpose.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 04:18 PM

Little Hawk:

Let me remind you this is the Mother of all BS thread. As you should well know by now, unless you were not paying attention over tthe last thirty thousand posts, pointless confrontation is the catalyst for prime BS. It breeds rapid mental stimulation, flashing pictures and overflowing verbiage, heated in the flagon of the confronted heart and restrained by the cool boundaries of acceptable mental extremism, until it sublimates into the purest and best of available modalities of BS.

I'm not doing what I do for idle entertainment, you see. I am doing it for MOM!!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 03:59 PM

Who's "Shane"? Or should I ask, "What's a 'Shane'?" Is it animal, vegetable, or mineral? Is it bigger than a bread-box? Is it living or non-living? And why should I care?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 03:49 PM

You're just trying to provoke a pointless confrontation between me and Rapaire, Amos. He already has one with Shane. Isn't that enough?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 03:34 PM

Worse, it doesn't count things that should be counted. For instance, we had 328,000+ people visit the joint last FY (by door counters, adjusted for staff, kids who run in and out, etc.). We know how many people attended library-sponsored programs, again by actual count.

However, we also have two television shows on the public access channel (which, I hasten to add, the Library started) and a radio show. Most businesses pay attention to their media audience -- but there is no place for me to report our audience figures.

It's another case of those in the field being ahead of those in the rear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 02:31 PM

Ad hoc measuring is God's way of keeping you on your toes, Stilly; it leads directly to intelligent design theory and the aware-quanta hypothesis which is the next thing the God-fearing will try to inject into scientific curricula even though I just now made it up. Wait and see!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 12:41 PM

It's the acronym from about 10 years ago, the statistics turned in to ALA or somewhere that keeps track of library use statistics. I don't remember what it's called now, I haven't had to use them for a while. That's because I realized that the numbers that go in the annual report are absolutely meaningless. Totally. No relation to anything, because every year they change what they're measuring so there is absolutely no way to compare.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 12:29 PM

Is LH substantive?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 11:44 AM

I think he was using Little as a condescending adjective, not a nominal substantive.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 10:27 AM

Shouldn't that be "I PEED" and not "IPED"? Or are you referring to the past tense of "ipe" (a verb little used today and which means "the action one takes upon sitting upon the point of a nail or a sharp splinter when taking a seat in the outhouse: "Tommy yelled 'YIPE!' when he iped himself this morning." Occ. used to describe the result of using corncobs instead of pages from the Sears' catalogue.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jan 09 - 12:37 AM

IPEDs?

I was going to ask if the whale was a sticky mess. But I'll leave it at that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 11:27 PM

That's Brother Hawk. If I was Hawk Little, then it would be Brother Little.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 09:18 PM

Thank you, Brother Little. I have said to say that but I forgot how to spell in my joy and relief.

The statistical report, like those from other libraries, shows an over-all increase in circulation, visits, and Internet usage in a steady increase all year and quickening in the last three months of the FY (July, August, September). The increase has continued to the present.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 09:14 PM

Hallelujah.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 06:02 PM

The annual statiscal report is done, AMEN! brethren and sistern!

Say AMEN!

Aw, come on...say just one little "Amen."

Please?

MOM! They won't say "AMEN!!"

Ground them until they're 286, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 02:14 PM

The orignal link to the Internal Combustion Rhythm Section was only good for a day.   So here is a link to the archive file which shows that even a straight-head six can sing "I Got Rhythm".


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 01:57 PM

So, er, uh,

oh, never mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 01:55 PM

There's something wrong with you, isn't there? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 01:50 PM

Because if you enclosed the whole sperm they'd suffacate! And if the condom only covered the penis then most of the sperm would be outside it.

silly LH.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 01:41 PM

Why don't they make condoms to fit Sperm Whales?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 01:36 PM

(\__/)
(="."=)
(__.__)
c((")("))

I can make a funky rabbit. I can't make a condem though, which is what you should use unless you want the rabbit to die.......


(\__/)
(=-.-=)
(__^______))


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 01:01 PM

Let me add, good sir, that you are most unlikely to ever be a girl on a date with Amos even if you suffer the necessary awkward transitions to pass the physical.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 12:40 PM

I tie 'em together and make slingshots.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 11:14 AM

If there is more than one piece to a condom then it's broken, Rapaire. Weren't you cautioned to be careful with those things?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 10:52 AM

I know you feel up to it now, CB, but in this case, well begun is not really half-done, nohow. Pace yourself, old fellow. 'T is nobler to have tried to love, and failed, than never to have tried to love at all.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 09:29 AM

Well, yes. You're right. I'm going to buy 500 condoms and I plan to use them all in a single weekend of lechery and lust. Don't worry, I'm up to it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 09:24 AM

Nice try, Condom-Boy!!! But a denial spoke late is a confession, as me auld ma useter say.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 09 - 09:18 AM

As Mom knows full well (because being a good boy I told her) the "Super-X rounds" to which I referred are actually .22 caliber long rifle cartridges and I can buy three boxes of 500 each with the gift card my staff gave me as a Christmas gift expressly "to buy ammunition" with. They also gave me a silk tie with "cowboy guns" on it.

So I'm glad that I'm not a girl on a date with Amos, who doesn't know a condom from a cartridge!

Amos, a condom is a rubbery sort of thing and a generally comes in two pieces stuck together and it can go "BANG!" and looks kinda like this:
____ _
|____|_> only it's round and and in three dimensions.

If you found a cartridge you'd better take it to Mom or me or someone who knows about such things because you're too young. Also a condom, but not if it's all icky and not in the package.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 10:09 PM

I'd rather bask in the shitstorm that is heading your way, 'cuz someone just slipped Mom a cell-phone picture of your sock drawer with the condoms stacked up in it....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 10:04 PM

I wonder.

Amos, look sort of north-northeast. Do you see that bright glow off in the distance?

That's my brilliance: before your operation you just couldn't see it. Now you can bask in it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 10:01 PM

Just don't get that nuclear fusion-fision close to Amos's eyepiece or that'll fry his eye ball back wall for sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 09 - 09:08 PM

Smart decision. If Mom found you had 500 condoms in your drawer she would tar the daylights outta you.


A


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