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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 08 Nov 08 - 05:58 PM
Amos 08 Nov 08 - 05:13 PM
Acme 08 Nov 08 - 01:05 PM
Little Hawk 08 Nov 08 - 12:57 PM
Acme 08 Nov 08 - 12:53 PM
Little Hawk 08 Nov 08 - 11:12 AM
Amos 08 Nov 08 - 08:22 AM
Acme 08 Nov 08 - 12:26 AM
Rapparee 07 Nov 08 - 09:48 PM
Janie 07 Nov 08 - 09:40 PM
Amos 07 Nov 08 - 09:09 PM
Acme 07 Nov 08 - 08:12 PM
Little Hawk 07 Nov 08 - 04:34 PM
Amos 07 Nov 08 - 04:17 PM
Rapparee 07 Nov 08 - 03:56 PM
Amos 07 Nov 08 - 02:04 PM
Rapparee 07 Nov 08 - 12:58 PM
MMario 07 Nov 08 - 12:43 PM
Rapparee 07 Nov 08 - 12:39 PM
MMario 07 Nov 08 - 12:30 PM
Rapparee 07 Nov 08 - 12:24 PM
MMario 07 Nov 08 - 12:23 PM
Acme 07 Nov 08 - 12:22 PM
Rapparee 07 Nov 08 - 12:19 PM
Little Hawk 07 Nov 08 - 11:25 AM
MMario 07 Nov 08 - 10:32 AM
Acme 07 Nov 08 - 10:22 AM
Amos 07 Nov 08 - 10:21 AM
Rapparee 07 Nov 08 - 08:57 AM
MMario 07 Nov 08 - 08:18 AM
Janie 06 Nov 08 - 11:36 PM
Amos 06 Nov 08 - 10:58 PM
Acme 06 Nov 08 - 10:45 PM
Rapparee 06 Nov 08 - 09:51 PM
Little Hawk 06 Nov 08 - 09:32 PM
Rapparee 06 Nov 08 - 09:29 PM
Little Hawk 06 Nov 08 - 09:24 PM
Rapparee 06 Nov 08 - 09:18 PM
Amos 06 Nov 08 - 08:45 PM
Little Hawk 06 Nov 08 - 08:36 PM
Amos 06 Nov 08 - 08:28 PM
Little Hawk 06 Nov 08 - 08:18 PM
Amos 06 Nov 08 - 08:12 PM
Little Hawk 06 Nov 08 - 07:53 PM
Amos 06 Nov 08 - 07:42 PM
Little Hawk 06 Nov 08 - 07:12 PM
Amos 06 Nov 08 - 06:37 PM
Rapparee 06 Nov 08 - 05:55 PM
Little Hawk 06 Nov 08 - 05:14 PM
Acme 06 Nov 08 - 03:17 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Nov 08 - 05:58 PM

If you talk with your tongue in your cheek you're liable to hurt yourself. Eating that way is worse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Nov 08 - 05:13 PM

He did not get it, although several innocent bystanders were touched. :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Nov 08 - 01:05 PM

Randy Newman, he's not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Nov 08 - 12:57 PM

Hard to say. Depends whether his tongue is in his cheek or not, I would think, and that's a bit hard to determine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Nov 08 - 12:53 PM

Do you think he'll get it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Nov 08 - 11:12 AM

That's magnificent, Amos. Did you post it on the Walkabouts Verse thread as well?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Nov 08 - 08:22 AM

Mom,

Here's a poem I wrote for WAV.

The shambles of a soul and art
Here, both combined in fell array,
With broken skills, seek to impart
Sad thoughts with nothing much to say.

How fallen are the gentle lights
Which Blake and Milton once employed,
Now ground to dullness and benight,
Echoing a mental void.

That rhytm, word, and muse as well
To such dull bathos could decay,
Decries the tale no man could tell
Of mortal dullnes, gang agley

Seeking in dusty corners far
Some glimmer, wit or token phrase,
To comfort souls in sullen bars
Against the pain of witless days.

Go then to paisley shorts and socks
of Argyle, shirts of tropic theme,
Turn to crochet, or painting rocks,
But leave alone the poet's dreams.

Take up accounting, spotting trains
Or inventory of city birds.
Haunt not this realm, with sodden brain
Turning the bright to the absurd.

Take not these shards from poets torn
And use their remnants tripe to spout;
We have enough, enough to mourn.
Go long, and far, and walk about.

Pineas Forgesong Gewirth, Abbot of Palmsfree
Getting-on-Inyeers, Lancs.
Drew Enfolie, Pubs., Edinboro, 1908


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Nov 08 - 12:26 AM

That much? Don't take such a big drink of water before you go to bed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 09:48 PM

If I'm up that early I'm usually pee-pee-peeing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 09:40 PM

WOW, MMARIO!    You are one multitalented someone. That is a beautiful design!

I was up at 3:45 this moring, but I was definitely NOT tra-la-laing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 09:09 PM

Maybe they don't like paying us for our 'Cat time?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 08:12 PM

Whew. They "de-cluttered" my work computer so thoroughly that I couldn't get any logon cookies to stick till I finally found the setting that blocked all cookies.

Sheesh. They should know that Mudcat and MOM are fine, and let them through automatically!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 04:34 PM

I have studied that whole field intently for years, MMario, and am proud to say that I now qualify as a first class nitwit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 04:17 PM

YEah, I can see where a firmly knitted brow could make an eye exam much harder. Better start your practice after you get back.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 03:56 PM

I'd do that, but I have an eye examination in a hour or so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 02:04 PM

Maybe you should try knitting them more ferociously, and actually slip the left one over the right a few time, as real knitters do...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:58 PM

I was afraid that there would be, but my skin is as wrinkle-free as that of a baby. Fortunately it is also free of some things you might find on a baby's skin....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:43 PM

Should I ask "the ladies"? I'd say if you've knitted your brows you could probably claim to be a knitter.

Not much to show for it ,tho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:39 PM

I've knitted my brows a few times...does that count?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:30 PM

Test knitter: Someone

(in my case, a volunteer someone) who takes a designers pattern and knits it, testing for mistakes, proper instructions, readibility, etc, etc. Usually before the pattern is released, but often, in the case of the designs I write, after initial release of the pattern.

She done good, I'd say.

Right now I've got 10 people knitting prototypes of three basic designs, but no one is doing quite exactly the same variation.

The 'snowflake peacock' pattern has two major variations, and the second variatiobn can be done in four different minor variations. Another of the patterns has five different shapes that can be knit from the same basic iinstructions; and the third also could be done five ways.

So, it takes a lot of knitting to make sure the instructions are correct. And proof-reading. And correcting. And argueing over definitions and explanations and wording.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:24 PM

I've never even knitted a bone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:23 PM

Sorry Rap, I only own the pattern, not the result of the knitting. However if you want to knit one for yourself, feel free!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:22 PM

What is a test knitter? An elf you've captured to sit under the dining room table to crochet, or a machine you buy and program?

Do tell!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 12:19 PM

I assume that's for me.

Thanks! It'll look great on the table!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 11:25 AM

Wow! It looks like the birth of the Universe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 10:32 AM

Sorry. it's just I'm excited because one of my test knitters just finished THIS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 10:22 AM

Or at least tiptoe a little more. I haven't done my neti pot routine yet, the allergy headache is trying to take hold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 10:21 AM

Pay no mind to the little Republican behind the curtain, MM.

Here's a picture of why today can be a good day like you say:

http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/06/title/


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 08:57 AM

Mario, you are a wonderful person no matter what century you live in. You know that I think highly of you and that I speak only for myself and other when I ask you to


SHADDAP!!!


and go back to sleep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 Nov 08 - 08:18 AM

It's MORNING!

Time to WAKE UP and start a BRAND NEW BEAUTIFUL DAY!

(bounce, bounce, bounce)

tra-la-la! Tweedle-de-deedy, it gives me a thrill, to wake up in the morning to the mockingbirds trill


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 11:36 PM

*yawn*

Gotta get up at 3:00 am to deliver Sum Yung Sun to the school for his field trip tomorrow to Washington DC.   

Nightnight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 10:58 PM

In fact I think the bloom is already starting to appear....


G'night my franz. Sleep safe in your country.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 10:45 PM

tiptoes in

Night, MOM! I won't disturb the boys, just tucking you in. They're having so much fun piling up the BS fertilizer out back for the garden next spring.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 09:51 PM

Look. His real name is Roche (pronounced "Rock") O'Bama. His folks came from County Kerry and they were all in every "Rising" from 1680 to 1922 -- they're "Corca Duibhe" from near Ballyferriter. His entire campaign has been designed to get into office so that he can invade Canada and trade it to England in exchange for Ireland. And it's succeeding quite well.

Oh, by the way -- he's got another Irisher, a Clare man named John Holland, designing a boat that will fight underwater so that he can defeat the British Navy. Trial runs in New Jersey are coming up very soon now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 09:32 PM

You weel all perish at da border, mon ami. We stopped you cold in 1812-14, by gar, and we weel stop you again! Da moose and beaver 'ave been warned, and dey are ready!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 09:29 PM

Yes, you'll like him. After all, one of his plans is to invade Canada once and for all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 09:24 PM

Well...it's a lengthy process. I do a final check at the phone, fax, and computer to see if I have received any important messages from people like...

Winona. William Shatner. Chongo. Don McBride. Hillary Clinton. Putin. The Pope. And so on...

Usually I have not. But you can never tell, and I couldn't rest peacefully if I didn't check.

Okay. So with that done I prepare myself for slumber. I brush my teeth, floss, take out my contact lenses, wash up, that sort of thing.

I check to see if the guns are all loaded and the samurai swords are in their proper place, ready if I need them.

I doff my daytime clothes and spend a few minutes admiring my rippling muscles in the full length mirror. "Am I lookin' good tonight?" I ask myself. "Oooo! I'm lookin' GOOD!!!" I answer. A shame that Winona did not call...

I then sit in the lotus posture for 1/2 hour and meditate on the day's accomplishments. I repeat the mantra "Be as Shatner in all things, Be as Shatner in all things" over and over again silently in my mind. This mantra completely empties the mind of all extraneous thoughts and eventually results in placing the user in a blissful state of total calm and illumination.

My meditation completed, I pull back the covers, slip into bed, and am soon slumbering peacefully for exactly 7 hours.

And then it's another glorious day! ;-) (all the more so now that Obama has won the election, I might add)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 09:18 PM

If you don't calm down I'll "steel" you. Thirty-seven inches of steel, in fact.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 08:45 PM

SUre!! I am sure you wil, in any case, good Hawk. So I will steel myself.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 08:36 PM

An intriguing question. Are you sure you want me to answer it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 08:28 PM

SO your yellow-brick road land is peopled with legless beings, as well as Chimps and hamsters?

How do you get any sleep at night?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 08:18 PM

As I have said before, Amos, I'll see your swan and raise you two ducks and an albatross. ;-)

You remind me of a slug, sir. You haven't got a leg to stand on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 08:12 PM

Mwahahahaha!!! Let me get this straight...my figment claims she was invented by YOUR figment? No....wait...your figment denies the reality of my figment because you are a Valid Source of figments and I am not? Mwahahaha. And you want to haul the justice system into this mess of mirage pottage???? And you call ME a Republican??????Mwahahahahaha!!!!

I swan, Little HAwk, your pretense at umbrage about Chinga is almost as funny as your defense of Mister Chump Chimp itself!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 07:53 PM

There are days when I have to pity you, Amos, given the fact that you live in some kind of fantasy world entirely of your own creation, a world in which only the things that you believe in are real while all else is open to question or outright denial. A world in which a heroically fought campaign on behalf of American apes and monkeys merits no recognition whatsoever. A world in which a spurious female chimpanzee with the hysterically unlikely name of "Chinga" spouts utterly ridiculous false accusations against a real chimpanzee named Chongo whom you, the iventor of the aforsaid "Chinga", have the audacity to claim is nothing but a figment of MY imagination! Good heavens, talk about the pot calling the kettle black. I cannot for the life of me imagine why you weren't backing McCain and Palin in the recent election, because your taste for fantasy would suit you so well in that role.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 07:42 PM

"Your honor, these men have been spreading completely slanderous stories about my client!"

"And your client is whom, Counsellor?"

"Chongo Chimp, your Honor."

"And he retained you to prosecute these men, did he?"

"Well, no, your Honor, not exactly. His primary liaison officer, Little Hawk, retained me."

"I see. And did Mister Chimp then explain his case to you against these men?"

"No, sir. It was explained to me, and the evidence for it provided, by Little Hawk."

"Hmmmm. Well, did this Mister Chimp agree to this prosecution at any point?"

"Well, your honor, Little Hawk says he did."

"Counsellor, have you even met your client yet?"

"Well, not directly. Little Hawk has relayed all communications between us. But that does not change the fundamentals of our case, your Honor."

"We will reserve judgement, Counsellor, as far as that is concerned. So what is it that Mister Chump asserts these men have done to his harm?"

"That's Chimp, your Honor. Chongo Chimp. Your honor, one of them invented an imaginary headline stating that the other had had to intercede on behalf of a drunk chimpanzee. The story is scurrilous and false."

"I see. Was Mister Chump, your client, referred to in the headline?"

""Chimp", your Honor. Chongo Chimp. ANd not directly, but in the context of the discussion there was no question of the libelous intent."

"How so? What was being discussed?"

"The ending of Chongo Chimp's candidacy for President of the United States, your Honor".

"Well, why have I never heard of this candidacy??? I have been following all the political news very closely, Counselor. I have never heard of Mister Chimp. And what kind of a name is that, anyway? When did he declare this candidacy? What party did this man think he was a candidate for??"

"Well, er, your Honor, Chongo Chimp is not, that is...well his candidacy was a fiction, your honor, but it was being discussed as though it were real...".

"Oh? Like a high-school mock election? ANd what party did this man represent in this pretend election?"

"Well, you see...your Honor...um, that is...Chongo Chimp is not actually a man."

"What? Not a man??? A woman, then?"

"Well, no your HOnor, not a human, exactly...".

"Not human???? Not HUMAN??? Counselor you had better have an explanation for this, and it had better be good. Are you telling me that he was actually the drunk chimp in the headline? Are you trying to bring a lawsuit on behalf of a chimpanzee, Counselor????"

"Well, your Honor, not exactly."

"Explain yourself, buster, and make it fast. You are wasting my time. Who exactly IS your client and what sort of creature is he???"

"Well, your Honor...that is...I suppose he is sort of a playmate to the representative, Little Hawk. A sort of...well, perhaps he should be called an imaginary playmate....".

"BAILIFFFFF!!!! GET THIS PERSON OUT OF MY COURTROOM!!! If he reissts slap him in cuffs and put him in the slammer for contempt!!!   OUT!!!!!! OUT!!!!!!"


Yeah, it would my head spin, all right!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 07:12 PM

Now look, guys, the election is over! There is no need for spreading around these scurrilous and completely unfounded accusations, cos Chongo is not running for office now and he has no future plans to. I advise you to both back off right now or get slapped with a libel suit that will make your heads swim.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 06:37 PM

LOCAL LIBRARIAN INTERCEDES TO KEEP DRUNK CHIMP OUT OF HOOSEGOW


Pleads Compassion for Fellow Simians; Charges Fuzz with Speciesism



Wodda story. Wait 'til Hannity and Colmes get a hold of THIS!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 05:55 PM

That was the Bourbon Barrel on Lewis Avenue here, and they refused to serve him because he was drunk (threw up on the bartender, in fact) and molesting several of the (women) customers, one of who was a nun who had stopped in to pick up the altar wine for Sunday Mass. It took all the pull I could manage and then some to keep Chongo out of jail and the story out of the newspapers and the media in general.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 05:14 PM

Idaho has been a hotbed of specism for as long as I can remember. I hope that Rapaire's recent run for VP on the American Primate Party ticket will have a reformative effect on many other Idahoans.

Chongo says that people in Idaho always look at him "weird" when he's driving around there or when he goes into a bar. One place refused point blank to even serve him! Disgraceful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Nov 08 - 03:17 PM

It's actually the SocialAnarchist Orderly Brotherhood (SOB)


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