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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MMario 07 May 08 - 08:36 AM
Amos 06 May 08 - 11:04 PM
Rapparee 06 May 08 - 10:24 PM
Acme 06 May 08 - 10:18 PM
Rapparee 06 May 08 - 10:17 PM
MMario 06 May 08 - 10:12 PM
Rapparee 06 May 08 - 10:05 PM
Little Hawk 06 May 08 - 09:42 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 06 May 08 - 09:30 PM
Amos 06 May 08 - 08:53 PM
Little Hawk 06 May 08 - 08:46 PM
Amos 06 May 08 - 07:25 PM
Rapparee 06 May 08 - 06:51 PM
Amos 06 May 08 - 05:36 PM
MMario 06 May 08 - 04:26 PM
Acme 06 May 08 - 04:17 PM
MMario 06 May 08 - 03:57 PM
Rapparee 06 May 08 - 03:54 PM
MMario 06 May 08 - 02:47 PM
MMario 06 May 08 - 02:46 PM
MMario 06 May 08 - 02:41 PM
MMario 06 May 08 - 02:39 PM
Amos 06 May 08 - 02:39 PM
Acme 06 May 08 - 02:28 PM
MMario 06 May 08 - 01:56 PM
Amos 06 May 08 - 01:39 PM
Acme 06 May 08 - 10:41 AM
Acme 06 May 08 - 10:25 AM
Amos 06 May 08 - 09:39 AM
Rapparee 06 May 08 - 08:57 AM
Amos 06 May 08 - 07:42 AM
Rapparee 05 May 08 - 09:57 PM
Acme 05 May 08 - 05:14 PM
Amos 05 May 08 - 04:51 PM
MMario 05 May 08 - 11:33 AM
Amos 05 May 08 - 11:25 AM
Rapparee 05 May 08 - 09:11 AM
Amos 05 May 08 - 01:32 AM
Rapparee 04 May 08 - 11:55 PM
Amos 04 May 08 - 11:21 PM
Rapparee 04 May 08 - 10:09 PM
Amos 04 May 08 - 04:50 PM
Amos 04 May 08 - 03:11 PM
Acme 04 May 08 - 12:23 PM
Rapparee 04 May 08 - 09:03 AM
Amos 03 May 08 - 11:38 PM
Janie 03 May 08 - 10:19 PM
Rapparee 03 May 08 - 06:50 PM
Amos 03 May 08 - 06:22 PM
Rapparee 03 May 08 - 05:46 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 May 08 - 08:36 AM

That's alright Amos - the whole musical theatrics thing goes over a whole lot of peoples heads.


A brief scripted missive to follow Agrarian workers distributing vegetative reproductive cells across tilled properties.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 08 - 11:04 PM

Oh, god. I feel so STUPID!!!

He was invoking the nomenclature of scalable acoustical archetectonics!! And I didn't even notice!!!


I take it all back, MM -- you were too subtle for my abraded old brain!! You are truly a man of Emms.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:24 PM

Doe, a deer, the freezer's full
Ray, that boy was sure surprised
Me, I nailed old Bambi's mom
Fa, I did it at 800 yards!
So, yeah, it was a fa fa shot,
La, de da de da de da!
Tea, Long Island back in camp,
And that brings us back to the doe!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:18 PM

What's Little Hawk on about, canker on parsnips?

He was doing the Doe, a deer, a female deer, Re, a drop of golden sun bit, but he did it without the definitions, just do re me. I think he was trying to build a musical pyramid. It had something to do with what we were talking about a while back--whatever that was.

I responded that his scientific named deer (in the headlights?) should have been a plant not a deer, and I suggested the appropriate plant.

Maybe I had that conversation in my head and not on the screen. But we thought it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:17 PM

Yes sir, that ol' thuty-thuty makes music to mah ears.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:12 PM

hey! There was plenty of context. And order. And even Music!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:05 PM

I dunno. I jist goes an gits mah gun an blows em all ta hayel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 May 08 - 09:42 PM

I munder as I maunder...out under the escutcheon...how nameless quintenderers employ their professions?

Do they persevere parsimoniously? Or do they venerate voraciously? Can parsimonious perseverance lead in time to venerable veracity or will it instead devolve slowly but surely into cantankerous tendentiousness? And if so, whither the wanderer who witless stands? Or not standing, sits? And if not then, when?

I munder as I maunder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 06 May 08 - 09:30 PM

And youse are both FLIPPED! Youse people oughta get a life.

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 08 - 08:53 PM

You sir are a sesquipedalian jacknapes, a sussuration of semantic solipsism, a maundering meerschaum-footed munchkin of meandering morphemes, and a conscienceless concatenator of catenary catarrh-strewn tropes.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 May 08 - 08:46 PM

"just finding some long words and stringing them up isn't true quality BS"

Hovering puissantly amidst beneficent tranquility suffices whilst pondering new and untried techniques of spelunking the evanscent waves of time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 08 - 07:25 PM

MM, my old friend, lookee hyar.

BS comes in many tones and rhythms and qualities.

But just finding some long words and stringing them up isn't true quality BS. It has to have a framework, it has to sound like something that might be meaningful.

You're doing awful well with your practicing polysyllabic obscurantism. Awful well. Mom would be proud.

But let's surprise her and before you come back into the parlor to show your latest trick, try adding a little context to spice things up. It will double dazzle them!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 08 - 06:51 PM

He done gone and found hisself a THEE-saurus.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 08 - 05:36 PM

MM:

What are you ON, dude??


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 08 - 04:26 PM

Agrarian workers distrbuting vegetative reproductive cells across tilled properties.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 May 08 - 04:17 PM

Back and forth . . . I thought you were giving us another GW Bush analogy, but no, it's a deer. You're off in Sound of Music land.

This is a picture of Bush--of the Toxicodendron radicans that our current resident is: Ewwww, I break out just looking at it. Old Bush is a bullous lesion on the landscape of America's backside.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 08 - 03:57 PM

an extremly great distance at which to perambulate with rapidity


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 08 - 03:54 PM

I had some of those at various times, but a good salve usually fixed me right up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 08 - 02:47 PM

self referential nomenclature


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 08 - 02:46 PM

0.05 mL of aureate solar energy


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 08 - 02:41 PM

an ovum producing speciman of Odocoileus virginianus


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 08 - 02:39 PM

a singular speciman of Odocoileus virginianus


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 08 - 02:39 PM

Well, its not all that simple, Still. It isn't even a straight triangle spinner as it would be if the number were 23Delta32. But it won't be because we don't have a Delta chiffre thingy as a number.

Instead it is an elevated offset triangle, the top part of the 4. a right triangle. Computing the impact of this spinner around an axis free to locate within the bounds of the triangle is no small task, and the effective movement is probably not even cyclical. Irregularities are introduced by the sin/cosine equations modulated by the varying impact (assuming a uniform field of gravity) of the varying leverage of the stem of the "4". And assuming that the mass distribution is consistent with the placement of black pixels or dots. Assuming, indeed, that a character has any mass at all. An irregular ellipsoid series can be expected.

It is my belief that character has mass, because George Bush, over the last eight years, has obviously lost his and he looks like he's walking in a total vacuum-driven implosion caused by the loss of all character. He looks gray and wrinkled, like a free-diver at 100 meters.

But that is purely anecdotal, and no-one has done the math.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 May 08 - 02:28 PM

Doh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 May 08 - 01:56 PM

re-mi-fa-mi-re


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 08 - 01:39 PM

In thirty-one more postys we canhave a triangle-style spinner in 23432.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:41 AM

I'll make a target for your team, Rap. Here's a nice round number--aim at the center of the zeros.

23400


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 May 08 - 10:25 AM

I was playing with some kind of quick draw reference.

Marshall Quick WithDraw


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 08 - 09:39 AM

I think Bookies with Balls would serve as a name.

As for free will, there's always a price. Even a mock-up knows that! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 08 - 08:57 AM

Then my creations wouldn't have free will, Amos. And I want them to have free will so that they can avoid probate and enhance their sex lives.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 May 08 - 07:42 AM

Not your idea? What?

As I recall, sir, you have made it clear the whole universe was your idea, and every event within it, as well.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 08 - 09:57 PM

My staff of supervisory personnel are not going to Dublin with me, nor am I going to bring arms (other than those provided by Mama Nature) into Ireland with me. Well, maybe a pocketknife, but nothing else.

It's been my experience that if you really really need weapons you can make them or find them. Unfortunately.

The supervisors have to stay back home in Idaho and represent the Library at the budget hearing. It is they who wish to form a Pistol Shooting Team and eventually challenge the local cops to a target shoot at the range.

This has gone so far that Browning (the firearms company) has been requested to supply us with seven .22 pistols at better than half off. These pistols (Buckmark) have been used by various pistol teams around the US for what is called "Bullseye" shooting.

We would be shooting NRA B-3 targets at 10 meters. Various names have been proposed for the group, none of which have yet been accepted:

The Bullettes
Pistol Packin' Dames (and Dude) (PPD = Pocatello Police Department)
Blastin' Bookers
Marshall Law
Seven Women At Targets (SWAT; rejected "At" could be changed to "As")

We have been offered the services of a police department shooting instructor and have been contacted by two local Olympic-level pistoleers.

Now you know. And no, this wasn't my idea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 May 08 - 05:14 PM

Firearms will be borrowed for this competition? You're not going to try to pack them and go through airports with them, right?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 08 - 04:51 PM

"RIVERDALE, Utah — The police chief in Riverdale accidentally shot himself in an ankle while demonstrating how to dislodge a jammed handgun.

Chief Dave Hansen was taken to McKay-Dee Hospital in Ogden for surgery.

The 54-year-old chief accidentally fired a gun during a training exercise inside a conference room at Riverdale police headquarters.

A fire captain and Riverdale Mayor Bruce Burrows confirmed the chief shot himself Saturday in an ankle bone. They said he was trying to fix a gun with a jammed round when the bullet fired.

Riverdale police officers carry .40-caliber pistols.

Hospital supervisor Rohn Larsen said Hansen was in stable condition Sunday. Larsen said he couldn't reveal which ankle — left or right — the chief shot."

Mmmm...   IDaho pistol packer shoots self in foot. Lesseee. Maybe we should send him to Dublin instead of the book guy?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 May 08 - 11:33 AM

RTapaire is suffering from armentia? Is that senile armentia? sessile armentia?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 08 - 11:25 AM

Right--exactly my point. Alerted to your intention to have a pistol-packing party wihtin the peaceful confines of their ancient and revered town, they might break open their emergency armamenta just this once, just for you.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 08 - 09:11 AM

They're called "gardai" in Ireland, Amos. The singular is "garda." It's short for "An Garda Siochana" or, in English, "The Guardians of the Peace." I've known some of them, and they should be added to the Great Dictum Of Bee-Dubya-Ell.

By the way, the singular form is pronounced "guard-a" and the plural "guard-ee". The uniformed gardai are unarmed except for a wooden truncheon -- if by "unarmed" you mean "they don't carry firearms on their person."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 May 08 - 01:32 AM

Maybe we could ask Fergie or another of the several Dubliners hereabouts to advise the PCs of your plan. You could spend your whole vacation explaining it from the inside of the airport...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 08 - 11:55 PM

We're going to challenge the top cops to an old-fashioned shootin' match.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 08 - 11:21 PM

Oh, by all means, have them all wearing their arms outside their pants.

I am sure the Constabulary will approve whole-heartedly.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 08 - 10:09 PM

I'll be at the Capitol Hotel, Grafton Street.

By the way, have I mentioned the Library Pistol Team we've started?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 08 - 04:50 PM

Damn, Janie, not only scones, but Dani, Jacqui, Kendall...you certainly are wallowing in richesse!!

Say, why don't we ALL go to Dublin, and harass Rapaire? We could throw Guinness on him and say nasty things in Gaelic.

Sounds like top-drawer sport to me!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 May 08 - 03:11 PM

Greatness is in the mouth of the beholder, I allus sez.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 May 08 - 12:23 PM

Funny how you add a little more sugar and milk or cream and the lowly baking powder biscuit becomes the elegant scone. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 08 - 09:03 AM

Gonna have hot biscuits for breakfast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 08 - 11:38 PM

Nothing like warm scones of a cool Sunday morning in the Spring. Isn't that so?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 03 May 08 - 10:19 PM

Hi Mom! I broke out of mundaneness for a little while this evening at a lovely pot luck and song circle at Dani's in celebration of the arrival of Mr. & Mrs. Morse of Maine for a visit to our little town here in the sweet, sunny south. Met Mudcatter Abby Sales, and visited with new and old friends. Nary a legionaire in the bunch, either.

Chicken and spicy sausages were grilled, salads were tossed, strawberries over scones were served, banjos and guitars were picked, though not any noses, at least not in my presence. Lemonade, iced tea, and assorted spirits were imbibed.

Home to more 'music' in the form of "Guitar Hero" being played by Sum Yung Sun and his bud who is here for a sleep-over.

Now I return me to my regularly scheduled mundaneness of finding sheets to make a pallet for the friend and clean up the kitchen so I don't have to face it in the morning.

I made extra scones, Mom, so the kids and you could have them with breakfast in the morning.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 08 - 06:50 PM

Actually, the cops had seen me driving down the street and phoned to a car that had passed just seconds earlier. It was really kinda funny.

My car survived the golf ball, windshield and everything intact except for the driver's equilibrium.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 May 08 - 06:22 PM

Sounds like it was a wasted and hazardous trip. Hope your insurance will get you a new windshield.

But it won't get you a new police force.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 08 - 05:46 PM

Among other things, I was driving out to dispose of hazardous household waste (mostly dead batteries) and when passing the golf course my windshield (windscreen in the UK) was smacked by a golf ball. There was no damage to the car, other than cleaning the driver's seat.

The cops had earlier stopped me and told me I was wanted at a certain address. When I got there the Chief of Police and the County Sheriff were waiting. No Mom, this was a Good Thing and it has to do with the Library and team building and stuff like that. But they didn't need to put out an APB -- they could have called the Library and had them call me! I guess top cops just want to have fun.


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