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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 06 Sep 07 - 07:04 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 07 - 06:55 PM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 07 - 06:55 PM
Amos 06 Sep 07 - 06:13 PM
Acme 06 Sep 07 - 05:57 PM
Acme 06 Sep 07 - 05:49 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 07 - 04:48 PM
Amos 06 Sep 07 - 04:40 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 07 - 04:26 PM
Amos 06 Sep 07 - 04:22 PM
Genie 06 Sep 07 - 03:11 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 07 - 03:04 PM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 07 - 02:46 PM
Acme 06 Sep 07 - 02:13 PM
Amos 06 Sep 07 - 02:10 PM
Little Hawk 06 Sep 07 - 12:12 PM
Amos 06 Sep 07 - 12:09 PM
Rapparee 06 Sep 07 - 11:52 AM
Amos 06 Sep 07 - 11:32 AM
Amos 06 Sep 07 - 11:20 AM
Acme 06 Sep 07 - 11:02 AM
MMario 06 Sep 07 - 11:00 AM
Rapparee 06 Sep 07 - 10:22 AM
Amos 06 Sep 07 - 10:17 AM
Rapparee 06 Sep 07 - 09:52 AM
Amos 06 Sep 07 - 09:27 AM
MMario 06 Sep 07 - 08:21 AM
Rapparee 05 Sep 07 - 11:40 PM
JennyO 05 Sep 07 - 11:36 PM
Genie 05 Sep 07 - 11:34 PM
Acme 05 Sep 07 - 11:25 PM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 07 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 05 Sep 07 - 09:48 PM
Rapparee 05 Sep 07 - 08:51 PM
Amos 05 Sep 07 - 08:26 PM
Acme 05 Sep 07 - 07:57 PM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 07 - 06:42 PM
Rapparee 05 Sep 07 - 06:11 PM
Acme 05 Sep 07 - 06:05 PM
Amos 05 Sep 07 - 06:01 PM
Genie 05 Sep 07 - 05:36 PM
Rapparee 05 Sep 07 - 05:11 PM
Amos 05 Sep 07 - 04:50 PM
Rapparee 05 Sep 07 - 01:14 PM
MMario 05 Sep 07 - 12:07 PM
Rapparee 05 Sep 07 - 11:44 AM
Amos 05 Sep 07 - 11:40 AM
MMario 05 Sep 07 - 11:24 AM
Little Hawk 05 Sep 07 - 10:04 AM
Rapparee 05 Sep 07 - 09:28 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 07:04 PM

I believe it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 06:55 PM

I left work. I went to the post office and then to bank and got some cash. I pulled out of the bank parking lot and the cell phone went off. It was my #2, asking about sending other people to a meeting in October. After I told her to do whatever she thought best I continued driving. About a half mile further on my cell phone went off. It was American Fencers' Supply in San Francisco calling because my credit card didn't work. I explained the situation and gave them another credit card number which was NOT compromised.

Then I came home. I have to pack. I have to eat dinner. I have to get some sleep so I can be on the shuttle to Salt Lake City at 6:30 a.m.

My day has been yucky.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 06:55 PM

You have my sympathy, Rapaire. It's not pleasant having one's credit card (or its number) stolen. I presume they must have got the number off a discarded receipt or some other paperwork somewhere?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 06:13 PM

Just remember, Rapaire, you are a truly fine and upstanding human being with Many Virtues.

Illegitimi non carborundum, old fruit.

Give my regards to the mess on Pennsylvania AVenue, if you see him.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 05:57 PM

I think you need Pat to make you a big quilted comforter so when you have really bad days like this you can curl up in a corner with a good book and block out everything else.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 05:49 PM

Bummer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 04:48 PM

My Really Lousy Day Thus Far
by Rapaire, Grade 3

My really lousy day thus far started when I woke up an hour and a half late. Then I missed a meeting 40 miles away, but was able to attend by telephone. The Technical Services Supervisor left to take her husband back down to the VA Hospital in Salt Lake City because the hernia repair they did was badly swollen, painful, and hot. I discovered that my Mastercard number was stolen and used to buy things while I was in Canada, including a cash advance in Dubai last night, so I killed it. AFLAC has screwed up my reimbursements. I have to go to DC tomorrow and fly back on Monday.

And that is my really lousy day thus far.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 04:40 PM

That was not the Muffetts. It was the Alla'akbar Fighting Wing, under General "Chemical" Ali.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 04:26 PM

As the Little Miss Muffet Squadron said on its bombing missions, "Curds Awhey!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 04:22 PM

Only a Turkey would have such strange misconceptions about curds.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Genie
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 03:11 PM

For me, the down side of eating cottage cheese is that it conjures up images of cannibalism. It looks too much like cellulite.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 03:04 PM

I thought you bought curds at a curd counter, but I guess I was whey off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 02:46 PM

I've seen those cottage cheese ceilings. Horrible! It's very hard to just relax, close your eyes, and fall asleep when you lie down under a cottage cheese ceiling.

It is the prevalence of cottage cheese ceilings in cheap motels, in fact, that led my workmate Jim Townsley to remark on various occasions (in reference to some woman passing by...): "She's a curd counter." This was a variant on his usual "she's a spot counter" remarks.

Jim and I worked at the gas bar on Highway 11. He had a lot of provocative one-liners about women.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 02:13 PM

I think they sprayed cottage cheese on the ceilings in this house. I'd have prefered the smoother texture of yogurt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 02:10 PM

From my contacts in the food industry, Little Hawk, I understand it was the other way around, and that Cottage Cheese dumped you. She said you looked a bleached dachsund. She had to close her eyes a lot when she was out with you.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 12:12 PM

I gave up eating cottage cheese a long time ago. It looks like bleached cat food, and I find that disturbing. Bleach is poisonous.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 12:09 PM

(Rapaire strongly believes in the Brovahood of Man, in case anyone is puzzled by his post).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 11:52 AM

Brova! Brova!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 11:32 AM

I'm jest a little mommaless moose
Hanging around and running loose
Momma was a good gal, but she ran out of juice!
Left me a mommaless moose.

There's just me and my sister moose,
Life ain't easy, dat's da troof,
Momma's just a conserve, stewed in her juice,
And I'm just a mommaless moose!

Oooooh, ooooh, what's amoose to do?
How would you feel if it happened to you?
Now my family tree is Roadkill au jus,
She gambled on aces but she drew a deuce,
And I'm jest a mommaless moose.
No momma!
I'm jest a mommaless moose.



Hmmm.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 11:20 AM

You know, in spite of Rapaire's urgent recommendations, I have never tried Roadkill Mousse. I understand it is a local specialty up there, though.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 11:02 AM

No, I'm sure he has enough roadkill around to eat, he doesn't need to go making fresh kills.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 11:00 AM

well, you have to shoot the moose first in order to make moose conserve, do you not? It would be a little cruel to try to stew a moose down into conserve without killing it first.

I suspect they might try to jump out of the kettle as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 10:22 AM

So you'da shot the moose and left two little mooselets mommaless?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 10:17 AM

Which proves my point about things related to cottage cheese. See, it is one thing to be "close to Nachur" but if you yourself in doing aso are tempted away from honoring and being true to your OWN nature, as a human being, what then, that's unnatural, see? Even if your own nature is to do things not in harmony with nature. It's just the nature of the problem. One's own nature must be clear and act as the fundamental. It is not my nature, for example, to conserve.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 09:52 AM

And NOW, the day before yesterday's happenings in Pocatello (The Gate City and Smile Capital of the United States) fresh from the Associated Press:

POCATELLO, Idaho (AP) -- Anita Ovard moved to her small home in this town in the western foothills of the Rocky Mountains because she wanted to see more wildlife. But the view got a little too close when a moose decided to make itself at home in her front room.

Ovard spotted two baby moose in her yard when she pulled into the driveway Tuesday. She immediately started looking for the mother moose, spotting the massive animal just before it plowed through her storm door and front door.

"There's a big gouge, and you can see where the whole front of the (moose's) body went right through it. It broke the wood frame," Ovard told the Idaho State Journal. "Try telling that to an insurance company."

Hoping to stop the moose from doing more damage, Ovard opened the sliding glass door in the rear of the home to give the animal an easier exit and then ran away as fast as she could. The moose, also frightened, turned and ran back out the front door.

A Fish and Game officer told Ovard the moose likely spotted its own reflection in a window, and forced its way into the home because it thought there was another moose nearby posing a threat to its babies.

Ovard, who is accustomed to finding moose eating from the apple tree in her yard, is laughing about the incident.

"It's their environment," she said. "We're building houses on their environment. They have no place to go."


This lady live in Old Town, the same area where I work and which has been a thriving area of homes and commerce since 1887 (at least).

We who live here keep close to Nachur.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 09:27 AM

Actually, in the wonderful panoply of world views available, some of us, of which I am a representative, have chosen a perspective from which NOTHING has ANYTHING to do with cottage cheese.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Sep 07 - 08:21 AM

Doesn't everything? Except ilk. Ilk have nothing to do with cottage cheese, if they can help it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 11:40 PM

Actually, it has to do with cottage cheese.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 11:36 PM

If MOM would like to make some soft little home-made presents, I have a container full of dryer lint I could send her......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Genie
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 11:34 PM

[["Mom decided she wants to make a gift for the Secret Santas this year. She hauled out some yarn and crochet hooks but so far all she has is a big tangle of yarn in her lap. Maybe we can wrap it up and offer it as a cat toy for the recipient?"
SRS]]

Throw in the cat and it'll make a perfect present for LTS!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 11:25 PM

Okay. That explains it.

I think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 10:28 PM

Shane would get upset if that happened.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 09:48 PM

Well, Mom, I did it. I ordered the false ricasso, the one complete with quillion and rings. And I picked up my martingale today. So the season's off to a good start. Too bad I'll be flying to DC on Friday and back on Monday -- I guess next Wednesday will have to do, unless that's when Pat comes back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 08:51 PM

"Shane," Gluon, the truth...it's all Out There. What will happen do you suppose if Gluon started humping "Shane"'s leg? Hmmmm....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 08:26 PM

Well, he was trained as a boson, so he knows knots whereof he speaks.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 07:57 PM

Does he crochet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 06:42 PM

Shane is out there somewhere too. Don't forget that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 06:11 PM

Well, it wouldn't stay in just the usual dimensions, either. So Gluon would become involved.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 06:05 PM

Mom decided she wants to make a gift for the Secret Santas this year. She hauled out some yarn and crochet hooks but so far all she has is a big tangle of yarn in her lap. Maybe we can wrap it up and offer it as a cat toy for the recipient?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 06:01 PM

At least. Maybe higher by an order of magnitude or so. What makes it so tricky is not just the intimacy per se but the exponential opportunities for misunderstanding....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Genie
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 05:36 PM

What would you call that? A menage à trois billion?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 05:11 PM

"...For I am involved in Mankind."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 04:50 PM

According to string theory, this would not only entangle you, but potentially connect you to every other person in the Universe. Probably more intimacy than you are ready to handle, I suspect.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 01:14 PM

To truly entangle yourself, put a "k" on "not."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 12:07 PM

Is is not is not.
Is is not not is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 11:44 AM

Which depends upon what the definition if "is" is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 11:40 AM

As Rove said to Bush, "Depends on what the definition of right is...."



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 11:24 AM

Him Mom - am I back in the right century?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 10:04 AM

If I had to listen to that in the morning, I think I'd probably get up wanting to shoot someone. I guess that makes it a good song for the army...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 07 - 09:28 AM

'Sokay, Mom. I've stopped hanging around with one sort of tarts.

I guess that since I was the one who said "Nighty-night" I should be the one to gently say "It's time to awaken...the birdies are singing."


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