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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 21 Aug 07 - 12:15 AM
Acme 20 Aug 07 - 11:27 PM
Amos 20 Aug 07 - 10:43 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 07 - 10:22 PM
Amos 20 Aug 07 - 09:55 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 07 - 09:48 PM
Amos 20 Aug 07 - 09:41 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 07 - 09:36 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 07 - 09:35 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 07 - 09:35 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 07 - 09:35 PM
Acme 20 Aug 07 - 08:33 PM
Amos 20 Aug 07 - 08:21 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 07 - 06:06 PM
Acme 20 Aug 07 - 05:03 PM
Amos 20 Aug 07 - 04:39 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 07 - 03:25 PM
Little Hawk 20 Aug 07 - 03:07 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 07 - 03:07 PM
Acme 20 Aug 07 - 01:50 PM
Rapparee 20 Aug 07 - 01:42 PM
Amos 20 Aug 07 - 11:16 AM
Little Hawk 20 Aug 07 - 11:08 AM
Amos 20 Aug 07 - 10:58 AM
Little Hawk 20 Aug 07 - 10:51 AM
Amos 20 Aug 07 - 10:21 AM
Rapparee 20 Aug 07 - 09:51 AM
Acme 20 Aug 07 - 09:33 AM
Amos 20 Aug 07 - 04:04 AM
Little Hawk 20 Aug 07 - 02:13 AM
Acme 20 Aug 07 - 12:32 AM
Amos 20 Aug 07 - 12:10 AM
JennyO 19 Aug 07 - 11:45 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 07 - 09:27 PM
Acme 19 Aug 07 - 08:12 PM
Rapparee 19 Aug 07 - 07:54 PM
JennyO 19 Aug 07 - 02:04 PM
Amos 19 Aug 07 - 12:33 PM
Acme 19 Aug 07 - 11:48 AM
Amos 19 Aug 07 - 11:26 AM
Acme 19 Aug 07 - 02:23 AM
Amos 19 Aug 07 - 12:42 AM
Acme 18 Aug 07 - 10:23 PM
Amos 18 Aug 07 - 09:26 PM
JennyO 18 Aug 07 - 09:05 PM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 07 - 08:46 PM
Rapparee 18 Aug 07 - 08:45 PM
Amos 18 Aug 07 - 08:28 PM
JennyO 18 Aug 07 - 08:21 PM
Little Hawk 18 Aug 07 - 06:31 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Aug 07 - 12:15 AM

Or, if any of you have read Boy by Roald Dahl, I don't have any goat pellets for their pipes, but I could come up with some crusty dog pellets. That'll make them light-headed!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 11:27 PM

Maybe if the boys in the Legion want something different then, perhaps one of them knows how to prepare jimson weed? I have a huge one in my front yard (reminds me--I'll take the camera out, it looked like a couple of dozen flowers were going to open this evening. A truly spectacular showing! Sacred datura is a moon worshiper, that's for sure!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 10:43 PM

Never mind then, rogue. You are a Granfalloon, a vessel of overheated atmospheric gases. I take back my forgiveness. First you steal their stuff, and then you besmirch their characters.


Mom!! Rapaire is doing it again.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 10:22 PM

You're just jealous of my friendships with the greats of literature. Folks like Nat Hawthorne, Sammy Clemens, Dan T. Aligheiri, "Junior" Whitman, Willy Yeats, Perc Shelley, Annie Rutledge, Bob Herrick, Al Pope, "Main Jane" Austen, Tony Trollope, "Giggles" Bronte and her sisters, "Lucky Johnny" Donne, Tommy "Gun" Eliot, Bill "Sellout" Wordsworth, Colley Cibber, Chattering Tom Chatterton, "Eminem" Dickinson, and the rest of the pals of my youth. And I didn't even mention Izzy Newton, Archie Mides, Pete Lavoisier, Blazin' Blaise Pascal, "Cats" Schrodinger, Jimmy Maxwell, "Crazy" Gallilei, Al Turing, and the rest of the nerds.

Mom! Amos is jealous 'cause I have lots of friends and he don't!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 09:55 PM

Give over, you are a puffery, a varlet, a lout, a mere stable boy of words.

Nevertheless, you are still Rapaire, so I suppose I must understand and forgive. Again.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 09:48 PM

Me 'n' Billy Bob Shakespeare used to go a-whoring down at the Mermaid with Ben Jonson and the rest of the Globe Gang. Ol' Billy Bob had hisself a pickup with them big tires, lights on the roof of the cab, a gun rack, and flames painted on the front. We'd squeeze Moll Tearsheet in the front seat between me and Billy Bob and the rest of the Globesters would jump in the bed and we'd just tear ass around London. Sometimes we'd pick up Jeffy Chaucer after a couple dozen rounds over at the Tabard, too. Him and Chris Marlowe would start talking about the times they had with the Prioress and the Wife of Bath...man, did they know some stories!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 09:41 PM

ANyone who calls Shakespeare Billy-Bob deserves no special number except the next one up, Rapaire.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 09:36 PM

is 18981.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 09:35 PM

The Extra Special Number


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 09:35 PM

Oh, I forgot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 09:35 PM

That's done pretty much weekly over at the FBI Compound on Poleline Road. It's right across the street from K-Mart, and the K-Mart parking lot is just plumb full up of folks breathing deep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 08:33 PM

You mean I'd have to buy THAT MUCH beer?

Hmmm. They've been finding about a field a week of pot growing along I-20 in Dallas County. Would they consider a "all you can inhale" bonfire?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 08:21 PM

No-one likes my verses anymore. I am going to join the Legion and drink boilermakers. So there.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 06:06 PM

Ah, if the Legion rounds 'em up, the Legion is gonna brand 'em and cut 'em, too. As for buying the beer -- I thought you wanted to send your kids to college and own a home....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 05:03 PM

Blankety blank spammer has posted more trash on my topical news thread (the new one after Joe closed my old one because of same slimy spammer). Idiot has been rampant around the 'Cat lately. We need to send the Legion out to see these spoilers. Rap, round 'em up. I'll buy the beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 04:39 PM

He should have died heretofore --
There would have been time to set such words aright;
Yesterdays and all its yesterdays
Have crept within his mind, and dimmed its light,
Marring each syllable of remembered verse,
And making it not better, yet, much worse.
An overdose of yesterdays breeds fools
Gloomy with promises of dust. Light up anew, brief candle!
Life calls for shadow players, as well as well-played shades.
And then, an interlude, and sounds it yet again,
Returning, half like a lover, half like an idiot, a tale
Recurring in fury and in undying love,
Infinite in meaning and in care.

Willy Shakeadrop Offdertippe
The Tempest Revisited
Oxford University Presse, 1611.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 03:25 PM

She would have died anon.

...Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death.
Out, out! brief candle.
Life's but a poor player
Who struts and frets his time upon the stage and then is heard no more!
'Tis but a tale told by an idiot
Full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing.

I helped Billy-Bob write that. We were both pretty drunk, down at the Mermaid Tavern, and he kept spilling his beer and yelling for more pretzels and wenches. I remember Billy-Bob and this red-haired...well, never mind. But it was interesting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 03:07 PM

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 03:07 PM

"Now" is a week from today? I always wondered when it was. Thank you for telling me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 01:50 PM

There's the race to the BIG NUMBER and there's the local race to the NEW SEMESTER. All three of us start the same week this year, son in high school, daughter at one college, me at another. The countdown begins now, a week from today.

I may be distracted for a while.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 01:42 PM

Down by the Old Time Stream
(Not the new, but the old)
Where I first met you
(Not me but you)
With your Event Horizon so blue
(Not green but blue)....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 11:16 AM

We were eighteen nine and sixty five
Forget it I never can;
We were hard turned out on the MOAB rout,
Heading strong for nineteen grand, oh, man,
Heading out for nineteen grand.

There was whacky Hack and Rap the Black,
There was a Sage from the cold north-west.
And no-one knew if it could be done,
But we reckoned we'd do our best, oh, yes.
We swore to do our best.

We were climbing hard and feelin' tahred,
We was just about done in,
When Jenny from Australia said,
She'd take us for a spin, my friend.
Said she's take us for a spin.

Well, Still and I were feeling sly
So we swapped an ordinal pair.
And the n-dimensional twist of that
Would have left us all nowhere, and bare
Left us all out in nowhere.

But Jen was hot, and like a shot,
She stuck her paddle in,
With a twist and a shout she turned us inside out
And the whole thread started to spin, oh, man,
The whole thread started to spin.

So now we're back in the old time-stream,
Running free from the rocks and the sand,
'N if we keep our heads and don't blow a tread,
We'll get clear to nineteen grand, oh, man!
All the way to nineteen grand.



Lucas Luscious LaRue
Pearly White Rhymes for Little People
Canton Derstan and Doankehr, New York, 1992


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 11:08 AM

As has your ability to bloviate prodigiously with little provocation... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 10:58 AM

Speak for yourself, M. Hack. I can have it. But then, my tolerance of unforeseen random mixing of topological combinatorial matrices in time-space has always been extraordinarily high.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 10:51 AM

Ah, well...we certainly can't have THAT, can we???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 10:21 AM

I think we undermined your claim by agreeing to a mutual swap of positions of two numbers, Rapaire. The agreement actually ruins all ordinality, as a property of any number; this means that there is no way to tell when you even have REACHED those claims. Let alone any legitimacy to the claims themselves in the absence of rationality.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 09:51 AM

I still have dibs on Infinity! AND Infinity minus one! Mom said I could have both and Gluon is guarding them for me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 09:33 AM

Certainly!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 04:04 AM

I think it;s 18960, Still. Wanna swap?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 02:13 AM

I'm holding out for 221,612. No one is gonna take that one away from me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 12:32 AM

Hey, Amos, I'll give you my number.

It's 18958. What's your number?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Aug 07 - 12:10 AM

18981 is awfully tempting, though, isn't it?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 19 Aug 07 - 11:45 PM

I think 18956 is rather nice. In fact they are all nice. I say we should have equal opportunity numbers. None of this elitism!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 07 - 09:27 PM

That's a very good number, but not The Special Number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Aug 07 - 08:12 PM

Yup. 18954. And I got it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Aug 07 - 07:54 PM

We're getting closer to A Very Special Number....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 19 Aug 07 - 02:04 PM

Just home from a fantastic concert at my folk club , then dinner out, then talking, drinking and singing till the wee small hours. When our concerts go so well, I sometimes look at the crowds of happy people and think - WOW! I did this! These people are all here because I started this thing 10 years ago. Makes ya feel pretty good!

And that guy Victor Mishalow, who plays this amazing 65 string Ukrainian instrument, the Bandura, is also a lot of fun. At the restaurant, he got it out of its case, and did some of his more funny stuff, such as "Moscow Drug Club", "Click Go the Shears" to the tune of the Volga Boatmen, and Chastity Belt, sung as only he can sing it. He puts on this Ukrainian or Russian accent for some songs - and he looks the part too, but he actually grew up in Australia and now lives in Canada, in Toronto, so he sounds more Canadian than anything else.

It's late now and I'm going to bed. If the number happens while I'm asleep, that's fine. A round thousand is nice, but pinwheels are my specialty. Have fun!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 07 - 12:33 PM

Precisely. Barky just recently had an unfortunate accident with her Camry which ran it past the write-off stage (repairs exceed 70% of value). So she is on the market for a used car also, and the write-off from the insurance is only about 5K, which severely limits her choices. She can do it, but the chaos of unfamiliarity with the process drove her to despair, which is why I spent a few days in San Jose, getting the business put into some sort of order. This time, the car will of her choosing, and she will be borrowing the dough from us until the insurance pays out. Which will make it a little more real to her what it means, in experiential terms, to have a car.

They learn, but they learn some things a lot faster than other things. Makes you wonder how the evolutionary advantage materializes, sometimes... :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Aug 07 - 11:48 AM

Yes. I wish such good fortune would visit my daughter, who needs a vehicle, but we're all too poor to gift her with one (and she'll value it more if she buys the first one herself, anyway, but that doesn't make all of the picking up and dropping off any easier).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 07 - 11:26 AM

(K-51) She seems to have been kind and not stolen the march using her fantastic Australian talent for walking upside down.

The morning is cool and pleasant here; the hot midday sun is still in the offing. BBW is selling her car today; an ancient lovable old Geo four-banger. She has been given a beautiful little Prius from her Mum, who is buying a new one. What a stroke of fortune, eh?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Aug 07 - 02:23 AM

52 to go. Dare I go to bed, to sleep, perchance to dream . . . of Jenny pulling a fast one during the night here (day, there) on the other side of the world?

Fingers crossed the next big number hits in daylight in the western/northern hemisphere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Aug 07 - 12:42 AM

I have just heard that 900 prisoners in Peru jails donated their own food rations for two days to aid the victims of the recent quake there. This is a Fine Thing.

And especially for Rapaire, a tip of the hat from none other than the late Mrs. Astor, the Grande Dame of New York's old money society:

"Mrs. Astor ...who died on Monday at 105, led by inclusion. She had none of the old snobbery against the new rich, inviting them into the inner sanctum of philanthropy.

For her 100th birthday luncheon, when she was asked whom she wanted as guests, she replied without hesitation: "One hundred librarians."

Parties were part of her job; she'd champion her causes while she worked the room. She told me she went out every night, "to meet interesting people."

"Hopefully," she said, "I'll be seated next to thinkers."

For years I'd see her at a party and she'd say, "Oh, Bill, I don't feel well tonight." Then they'd start the dance music and she would forget all about it.

She hoped she would "go," as she put it, while she was out dancing."


There ya go, Rapaire. Don't say I never did nothin' for ya.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Aug 07 - 10:23 PM

What's for dinner?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 07 - 09:26 PM

No...it;s Yes. Tomorrow cpuldn't make it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 18 Aug 07 - 09:05 PM

What's on second


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 07 - 08:46 PM

I thought the pitcher was Tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 07 - 08:45 PM

What?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 07 - 08:28 PM

No, Yes is pitching, no? The man on first is Who.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 18 Aug 07 - 08:21 PM

Yes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 07 - 06:31 PM

Who's on first?


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