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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 18 Jun 07 - 08:38 PM
Rapparee 18 Jun 07 - 07:31 PM
Rapparee 18 Jun 07 - 01:46 PM
MMario 18 Jun 07 - 01:00 PM
Little Hawk 18 Jun 07 - 12:58 PM
Acme 18 Jun 07 - 12:55 PM
MMario 18 Jun 07 - 11:18 AM
Acme 18 Jun 07 - 11:13 AM
MMario 18 Jun 07 - 11:03 AM
Amos 18 Jun 07 - 10:46 AM
MMario 18 Jun 07 - 10:02 AM
Rapparee 18 Jun 07 - 09:17 AM
Acme 18 Jun 07 - 12:46 AM
Rapparee 17 Jun 07 - 10:37 PM
Amos 17 Jun 07 - 08:30 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 07 - 07:59 PM
Rapparee 17 Jun 07 - 07:41 PM
Acme 17 Jun 07 - 07:34 PM
Acme 17 Jun 07 - 12:36 PM
Amos 17 Jun 07 - 11:02 AM
Acme 17 Jun 07 - 12:01 AM
MMario 16 Jun 07 - 07:43 PM
Rapparee 16 Jun 07 - 06:29 PM
Amos 16 Jun 07 - 10:29 AM
Acme 16 Jun 07 - 10:17 AM
Rapparee 16 Jun 07 - 09:58 AM
Acme 16 Jun 07 - 12:12 AM
Rapparee 15 Jun 07 - 11:09 PM
MMario 15 Jun 07 - 02:01 PM
Rapparee 15 Jun 07 - 01:41 PM
Amos 15 Jun 07 - 01:26 PM
Acme 15 Jun 07 - 10:28 AM
MMario 15 Jun 07 - 09:40 AM
beardedbruce 15 Jun 07 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 15 Jun 07 - 09:00 AM
Rapparee 15 Jun 07 - 08:59 AM
MMario 15 Jun 07 - 08:57 AM
Amos 15 Jun 07 - 08:50 AM
Acme 15 Jun 07 - 02:30 AM
Acme 15 Jun 07 - 01:36 AM
Amos 15 Jun 07 - 12:30 AM
Rapparee 14 Jun 07 - 06:28 PM
Amos 14 Jun 07 - 05:07 PM
MMario 14 Jun 07 - 03:13 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 07 - 03:12 PM
Amos 14 Jun 07 - 01:54 PM
Acme 14 Jun 07 - 01:29 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 07 - 12:16 PM
Amos 14 Jun 07 - 12:09 PM
Rapparee 14 Jun 07 - 09:05 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 08:38 PM

Regarding the Rupture, Little Hawk, very little has survived of the original sacred scroll which detailed it, as it was used as bedding for the temple guad dogs at the Temple of Taneet in a remote corner of Sicily from 100 to 600 AD. That which was recovered has been translated as follows:

Those who are wide open will be uptaken, and those whose space is closed will be down-left. The wide, the airy, the grand, the free, the seeing and the knowing, all shall be uplifted; the dark, the embittered, the cantankerous, the bigoted, the spiteful and the hateful shall downfallen discover their grave solidity; yea, the most shall be first, and the most dense shall be among the none, and she who transcendeth all forms will be first among the ongoing, the up-climbing, and the through-putting.

So sayeth the book of Jobs.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 07:31 PM

Sorry, Mom, but it's been one helluva day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 01:46 PM

I proposed in the most romantic fashion you can imagine. With poetry and all that. I said, in my manly voice as I held her in my strong, virile, arms, "You'll have to tell me if you want to get married" and so, having swept her off her feet and having stolen her heart, she did and we did.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 01:00 PM

marriage has been mentioned - and he formally asked her family for permission to propose to her - they have the wedding planned (and have had for months) - but the actual question has not been asked or answered.

We found this all out a couple months back when they mentioned it on visit; and also mentioned their first choice for wedding dates had been June 9th (which was a shock since his mother and I were both in florida that weekend - and had had the tickets for that trip for months)


And *she* has said he has to do the asking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 12:58 PM

How does one merit inclusion in the Rupture, Amos? What are the requirements?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 12:55 PM

So, she can't propose? How did they get this far along if someone didn't mention something about marriage?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 11:18 AM

she intends to teach rather then take a parish. She will probably make more then he will.

Just found out that though they are arranging their counseling and church rental, annnouncements and invitations, (get this!) HE STILL HASN'T PROPOSED!!!!!

CRICKEY!

I do hope he manages the proposal before the ceremony.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 11:13 AM

Ah, the parental role of the established churches. As long as you let them get away with it, they'll keep it up. Make sure she gets equal pay, that's all I'll say!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 11:03 AM

well - y'see, they are both in the discernment process for the priesthood, but from different dioceses, and planning to marry in a third diocese, and she is divorced, (which requires, as I understand it, permission of HIS bishop, HER bishop AND the bishop of the locale they will marry in) plus they are trying to get jobs near where she is going to be getting her docterate - which once they are ordained (last week for her, end o' the month for him) will require permission from their bishops, seperately from the permission of the bishops to marry, and ... well, it gets complicated.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 10:46 AM

My, marriage has gotten complex. First time I did it we nabbed a couple of friends and set it up in the dining room...


But the times of the Rupture are yet to come, I believe. Until then you have some breathing room to hernia way to Grace.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 10:02 AM

I think it's because my nephew is getting married. That is one of the signs of the apocylpse, isn't it?

Or at least we *think* he is getting married - if her bishop and his bishop agree and the church they want is available, and their pre-mairital counseling sessions don't downcheck them, and . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 09:17 AM

Fires in Pocatello, flooding (real flooding, not just dog dish flooding) in Ft. Worth, Amos in Southern California...what IS this world coming to? I swan, the End Times are upon us! Gloriosky, any minute now the Rupture will take me and all the Elect.





I'm waiting, Rupture....




You're starting to tick me off, Rupture....




Not being one of the Elect will really hurt my self-esteem, Rupture....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jun 07 - 12:46 AM

If they were in North Texas I could save them the trouble of choosing to bathe or not by just locking them out of the house. It has poured all weekend. Four and a half inches (so says the guy up the street who was draining that much extra out of his pool, and my dog-dish-measure stopped at about 3 1/2 inches because that's all the taller the dishes are).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 10:37 PM

Heck, a fire down SLC way that burned about a thousand acres this weekend was started by an adult playing with model rockets!

Since this is in a popular trail area I suspect human causation. You know, "Let's build a fire and cook some weiners!" Sure, the winds up there were over 50 mph and it's pretty dry....

The Legion didn't do it. Father's Day is known to the Legion as Annual-Get-Rid-Of-Cooties-By-Bathing Day and they were all down at the River debating, as they do every year, whether or not it's worth doing. And most of 'em chew tobacco or take snoose anyway (during WW1 the Germans called them "Brown-Chinned Devils" and "Dribble Dogs").


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 08:30 PM

I just know the Legion has something to do with this, Mike. You better make 'em fess up before it gets pinned on some teenager smoking cigarettes or something.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 07:59 PM

A wildfire west of Pocatello has forced fire crews to close several roads.

While the cause of the fire is still unknown - four agencies are now forced to watch as the fire races down a mountainside.

The fire began around two this afternoon - nearly forty mile an hour winds have taken the fire over several miles along the Trailcreek Mountain side.

Homes that could be threatened are along Facer Road. That is where the Bannock County Sheriffs Office has setup a staging ground should the fire move closer to residential neighborhoods in the area.

So far, Fort Hall, Bureau of Land Management, Forest Service, Chubbuck, and Pocatello Fire Departments are fighting the blaze.

Mountain terrain and strong winds have forced those agencies to move away from the mountain. Crews on scene say the fire could change direction quickly making it too dangerous for crews at the moment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 07:41 PM

I woke up from a nap coughing. And to the smell of smoke.

West of town the hills are burning. There is no immediate danger to the town, except that it is VERY windy (30 mph) from the west. This means that the fire is being pushed uphill, towards the communications towers.

Even with the house shut up (and I'm about 10 miles from the fires) I can smell smoke. I've turned on the air conditioning and I'll use Pat's car because it has a whole-cab air filter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 07:34 PM

Looks like the boys are all out celebrating Father's day today, so I'll keep you company for a few minutes, MOM.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 12:36 PM

Mom, did I tell you that it's raining again? It rained most of the day until the party yesterday, so I was working hard to get coals started and keep them going to barbecue all of the chicken. I don't want one of those big gas-fired things, I like my little polluting charcoal burning smoker grill. All afternoon I started coals in a little chimney thing with newspaper in the bottom and coals on top by capping it with perforated foil to keep my coals from getting wet and going out. I barbecued five chickens that way, then put them in the fridge and baked them all before serving.

The kids were perfect and pulled off delivering their father to the party with great aplomb.

My house hasn't been this clean in months and I lost a couple of pounds with all of the work yesterday. And now that it is raining hard again today I predict the weight-loss regimen will continue with heavy-duty mowing for the next week or two.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 11:02 AM

If you had takent hose photos with Duct Tape, they would have had a much stronger effect.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jun 07 - 12:01 AM

Hey, MOM! We pulled it off! The kids played their cards just right and delivered their father to the driveway at about 6:30. They scooted in the side door while he walked to the back gate to pet the dogs. But the dogs were in the garage and instead a whole bunch of folks were standing on the back patio to offer a birthday greeting. It worked! He was surprised! It was a lot of fun. Not everyone knew everyone else, and my kids ignored the kids who we hoped they'd be pleased to see (they didn't remember them after 10 years) so we'll have them over again in a smaller group and make time to revisit their childhoods. I pulled out some photos but didn't find one of the kids all together (about 12 years ago) until after they had to leave. Then my son was riveted and had to look at each photo. Funny, they don't want to have them taken, but they do love looking at them later on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 07:43 PM

the "dark matter" is actually what is removed to make the perforations between sheets of toilet paper and paper towels. But yes, beneath all is Duct Tape.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 06:29 PM

Duct tape is NOT a "standby." Duct tape is actually that which holds the Universe together -- when physicists finally DO solve the problem of GUT they will find...duct tape.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 10:29 AM

Sheet plastic, comes in wide rolls, and often used to create air dams in houses where some demolition is being done, or other sorts of projects where you want to divide space or baffle air. In the world of people who do these things it is as much a standby as duct tape.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 10:17 AM

The doorway will be hung with clear visqueen to keep the kids out.

I'll bet you the quarter that Bill D is putting up about Paris Hilton getting out of jail early that the kids will get in (early or whatever--that they WILL get in).

What is Visqueen, anyway?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 09:58 AM

WE have a great under-stairway spot where we've put a door and electricity just this past week. We plan to put a blue-gelled spot above the door, angled downward, onto broken down cot, etc. The walls will be black cloth, and the back half of the closet (for such it actually will be) will be very dark gray scrim. Behind the scrim will be a picture of James and Lilly Potter on one side and Moldyfart (as my nephew once called him) on the other. J&L will be front-lit by a gold-gelled spot, and Ol' Moldy by a green one. A dimmer board will control the lights; J&L will come on slowly and then Moldy's will flash and die away. At that point the whole thing goes dark.

The doorway will be hung with clear visqueen to keep the kids out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Jun 07 - 12:12 AM

We have a great under-stairway spot where we could insert a temporary door and diorama. Hmmm. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 11:09 PM

Actually, we are just one cog in the festivities. The bookstore and the mall are whooping it up, the District Library "across the street" has Big Plans, and even the University Library is involved.

I'm just a Library Director, so I don't know what's going on. Sometimes I honestly don't WANT to know, either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 02:01 PM

My home town is doing it up *big*.

Town hall will become the Ministry of Magic, the Chief Selectman witll be Minister of Magic; various stores downtown are being converted to Hogmeade stores, platform 9 and 3/4 and the Hogwarts Exporess will be on hand,(They just happen to have a railroad station and Excursion train handy) etc, etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 01:41 PM

On July 16, or maybe July 21 (I'd the Library Director so nobody tells me nothin') we will magically transport Harry Potter's bedroom-under-the-stairs to the Library. Well, actually it will be a view of it through time and space since he has had his own room for a bit now. We will also have Moldy Voldy and James & Lilly Potter appear*.

To do this will cost many galleons (gallons of galleons?) but will be worth it.


























An empty space, a little theatrical scrim, some judicious lighting....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 01:26 PM

"Librarians can do anything".



Yes, but only in the confines of the library, and only until the local branch of the D.A.R. finds out about it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 10:28 AM

Hmmm. We tend to (and mind you, I'm not being critical here) keep our electricity in our wiring. And let it dribble out a little at a time by flipping the toggle called a "switch." None of this hoarding it under the stairs business.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 09:40 AM

Harry will be pleased about the electricty under the stair


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 09:35 AM

"Librarians can do anything,"


We knew THAT.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 09:00 AM

By the way, we now have electricity under the stairs. It was put in yesterday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 08:59 AM

Did you ever replace the chicken wire that was all over your house? (Amos had put it up to ground the Signals which They were beaming into his house to Confuse him so he wouldn't notice the Men In Black in the Black Helicopters landing his back yard. This is all very understandable if you live in Southern California.)

The 2 x 4, by the way, is to replace the "foot" of some shelving we're moving elsewhere in the building. It's old, old shelving and you can't buy parts for it anymore, so we have to fabricate our own. Librarians can do anything, especially the way the budgets are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 08:57 AM

move some tonnage of dirt before the landscapers arrive

Isn't that sorta like cleaning the house before the cleaning service arrives?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 08:50 AM

Nopthing nicer than a sliding door that really slides. We lived with a cranky one for years, constantly having to re-seat it on its track. Now we have a nice new doublepand, u-v filtering viny-clad replacement -- it is a delight.

Mom, I finished the whole job on the caulking and trim painting, at last.

Now I take down the ancient fence and move some tonnage of dirt before the landscapers arrive.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 02:30 AM

It's nice to be able to open the door so easily when I have to step outside with the million candle-power flashlight to see what the pit bull has found up a tree. Not sure this time, but I expect we'll find something in the yard in the morning. She's going full tilt back there tonight, to the point that she whalloped the blue heeler for getting in her way. Both are fine, but I follow the loud dog conversation as they conduct it. Lots of wags and apologies when I walk out with the light, but message taken: "Stay away from me and my possum while I'm hunting it!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 01:36 AM

Hey, Mom! I fixed my back door (sliding glass type) this morning. Darn think wouldn't move on the track to save a life. It has been tough to open for ages. I finally took it down, put on new hardware, and it runs as smooth as can be! Now I can open it regularly (with the lightest touch!) to wave out the flies that came in this morning while it was out in the yard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 12:30 AM

Way up in Pocatello,
They do things oddly, very;
They sent out for a two by four,
For the City Main Library.
They don't say what they want it for,
Or how they want to use it;
The city fathers are afraid
Rapaire wants to abuse it.
Or maybe he has kinky help
Who'll sleep with it all winter,
And you can tell -- they'll be the ones
Complaining about splinters.
Or maybe its for splitting heads
Who irk the Chief Librarian
They say that in a past life, he
Was a wild disciplinarian.
But still, the mystery stands obscure,
And folks are all resigning
To never know the reason dark
Behind Rapaire's strange pining.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 06:28 PM

And tonight...tonight...after work...I have to go out and buy something more for work! Something we need to complete a project. Something you might find disturbing. Something that will alter, perhaps forever, your image of a public library. Yes, after work I'm going out to buy...a 2 x 4. (And a couple packages of shims.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 05:07 PM

Faded pressure,
Faded pressure,
Oh, how tough that pressure seemed to me.
Faded pressure,
Faded pressure
Now I know it was just
Egocentric, manipulative, PR-driven, solipsistic fantasy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 03:13 PM

make sure you dry it flat, out of sunlight. you wouldn't want it to stretch or fade.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 03:12 PM

I also just bought a pressure washer. The pressure here has been getting pretty intense lately and I figure washing it will set it right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 01:54 PM

Or, as here, the Dither of Madness' Velleities. In any case, I have reconsidered; if you are going to be carried around by six sturdy indentured Nubians, you probably want an emiossions test, especially if they take lunch breaks at Jack-in-the-Box, assuming there is any jack in the box after such profligate disbursements...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 01:29 PM

Department of MOM's Vehicles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 12:16 PM

Department of Masculine Vehicles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 12:09 PM

Well, it's a sedan chair, not a motor vehicle. And only motor vehicles can be sent to get an emissions test, at least by the DMV. That's why it is the DMV. I suppose cautious fiancees might want to require one, but that's an individual choice.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 09:05 AM

That's littering, Amos. No, I just tie 'em to a stick: a long stick to go fast and a short one to go slow. Remove the twinkie-on-a-stick for braking and hold it behind for reverse.

And here's a tip: cabbage and bean burritos provide that little extra "oompf" you sometimes need for passing, but you might fail an emissions test.


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