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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 06 Apr 07 - 10:30 AM
MMario 06 Apr 07 - 10:25 AM
Amos 06 Apr 07 - 10:22 AM
Amos 06 Apr 07 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 06 Apr 07 - 08:54 AM
MMario 06 Apr 07 - 08:32 AM
Acme 06 Apr 07 - 12:21 AM
Amos 05 Apr 07 - 10:46 PM
Acme 05 Apr 07 - 06:43 PM
Amos 05 Apr 07 - 06:07 PM
Rapparee 05 Apr 07 - 03:39 PM
MMario 05 Apr 07 - 03:26 PM
Amos 05 Apr 07 - 03:22 PM
beardedbruce 05 Apr 07 - 01:54 PM
Amos 05 Apr 07 - 01:52 PM
MMario 05 Apr 07 - 01:45 PM
Amos 05 Apr 07 - 01:42 PM
beardedbruce 05 Apr 07 - 01:29 PM
Amos 05 Apr 07 - 01:24 PM
Rapparee 05 Apr 07 - 12:51 PM
beardedbruce 05 Apr 07 - 12:47 PM
beardedbruce 05 Apr 07 - 12:40 PM
Amos 05 Apr 07 - 12:37 PM
Amos 05 Apr 07 - 11:33 AM
Acme 05 Apr 07 - 10:20 AM
beardedbruce 05 Apr 07 - 10:17 AM
Amos 05 Apr 07 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 05 Apr 07 - 08:43 AM
Amos 04 Apr 07 - 11:53 PM
Amos 04 Apr 07 - 11:37 PM
Acme 04 Apr 07 - 11:24 PM
Rapparee 04 Apr 07 - 09:05 PM
Amos 04 Apr 07 - 08:17 PM
Amos 04 Apr 07 - 04:52 PM
Amos 04 Apr 07 - 02:02 PM
JennyO 04 Apr 07 - 12:40 PM
Amos 04 Apr 07 - 10:41 AM
Rapparee 04 Apr 07 - 09:55 AM
Acme 04 Apr 07 - 01:13 AM
Little Hawk 03 Apr 07 - 08:31 PM
Amos 03 Apr 07 - 02:26 PM
Acme 03 Apr 07 - 01:41 PM
Amos 03 Apr 07 - 01:37 PM
Amos 03 Apr 07 - 01:22 PM
Amos 03 Apr 07 - 12:11 PM
Rapparee 03 Apr 07 - 12:09 PM
Amos 03 Apr 07 - 11:58 AM
Acme 03 Apr 07 - 11:56 AM
Amos 03 Apr 07 - 10:42 AM
JennyO 03 Apr 07 - 10:22 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Apr 07 - 10:30 AM

Ummm...so you can see the screen? I dunno!

In other news, the man who tortured office staff in every civilized country in the world and wasted billions of dollars in manpower over twenty years through system freezes, lost documents, and incompatible files, is leaving town big-time:

"Fifth space tourist set to blast off
08:28 06 April 2007
NewScientist.com news service
Kelly Young


Microsoft's former chief architect Charles Simonyi is preparing to become the fifth private citizen to take a trip to the International Space Station aboard a Russian Soyuz rocket on Saturday.

Russian cosmonauts Fyodor Yurchikhin and Oleg Kotov will be ferrying Simonyi to the station. Their Soyuz rocket is scheduled to take off from Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan at 1730 GMT (1330 EDT).

Simonyi, the man behind Microsoft's Word and Excel programmes, says he has enjoyed the months he has spent training for the trip in Russia. "I view the space flight as kind of an exclamation point at the end of a very long sentence," Simonyi recently told reporters."



That's a poetic sentiment, but I notice no-one asked him what the sentence said or what court imposed it on him.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Apr 07 - 10:25 AM

well, heck, Amos - why do you think Movie thatres are DARK?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Apr 07 - 10:22 AM

secondly, they are exciting a great many particles and no mention is made of any effort to help those particles release that excitement. This is cruel and inhumane! Can we stand by and allow this? No!


Well, okay, MM, but you're gonna put a lot of good-looking movie stars out of business...not to mention Paris Hilton, J Lo, and all them songbirds, web sites, and fashion models!!!

On the other hand if the Federal government has to step in to regulate this business of inducing excitement and relieving same...we may find ourselves with a reasonable solution to the prostitution problem!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Apr 07 - 09:56 AM

I doubt electron tunneling produces waste materials or any detectable environmental impact otuside of natural processes. And where would you put safety equipment bigger than the experimental field anyway?
Thans for your kind so-so words, there, MM. I feel much better, more or less. :D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Apr 07 - 08:54 AM

Tunneling -- did they file an Environmental Impact Statement? Did they post the plans for the required period of public comment? Did they obtain the necessary permits? Do they own the subsurface rights of what they are tunneling under? Were the correct safety permits obtained? Was the bracing inspected as required? Were safety kits and air pacs easily available? And what did they do about waste materials -- just dump them in the nearest stream?

I have a feelign the these dudes are in big, big environmental trouble and that the lawsuits will go on and on and on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 06 Apr 07 - 08:32 AM

Amos - regarding your rising words - sometimes TRUTH is stated so eloquently that no rejoinder is possible.

Or we could be ignoring you.

The tunneling electron thingie though - Have these scientists been reported to the Society for the Protection of Elemental Particles? First, they admit they are ripping off a great many electrons - surely a crime morally if not in statute - secondly, they are exciting a great many particles and no mention is made of any effort to help those particles release that excitement. This is cruel and inhumane! Can we stand by and allow this? No!

For I tell you, as the least of our particles is treated, so shall we all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Apr 07 - 12:21 AM

I'm rather fond of Kuan Yin. Any relation? I think so. A Kali avatar, perhaps?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 10:46 PM

I think it is funny that my Easter Rising essay was so profoundly ignored.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 06:43 PM

I hope that severed head of MOM's doesn't smell as bad as the drowned possum the dogs and I stumbed upon during our afternoon walk. PeeeYuuu!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 06:07 PM

Hey Ma!! Lissena THIS!!

"LECTRON TUNNELING IN ATOMS HAS NOW BEEN OBSERVED IN REAL TIME by a
German-Austrian-Dutch team (Ferenc Krausz, Max Planck Institute of
Quantum Optics and Ludwig Maximilians University Munich,
ferenc.krausz@mpq.mpg.de) using light pulses lasting only several
hundred attoseconds (billionths of a billionth of a second),
providing new glimpses into an important ultrafast process in
nature.
An electron bound to an atom is at the bottom of a sort of energy
hill. Escaping the atom usually requires the electron to get enough
energy to roll over this hill. So for example, hitting an atom with
a light pulse delivering photons of sufficient energy can allow the
electron to escape. However, if an atom is bathed in a shower of
lower-energy photons, there is the chance that an electron, if
located at the periphery of the atom, can escape even though it
doesn't have quite enough energy. This is through the phenomenon of
quantum tunneling, in which there is a small chance that the
electron can in effect burrow through the energy hill. The tunneling
process is responsible for the operation of certain electronic
components, such as scanning tunneling microscopes, Esaki
(tunneling) diodes, and quantum-cascade lasers. And in nuclear
fission, alpha particles (two protons plus two neutrons) are
believed to escape the fracturing nucleus through tunneling. Yet
the tunneling process occurs so quickly, on the scale of
attoseconds, that it has not been possible to observe directly.

With the recent ability to create attosecond-scale light
pulses--pioneered by Krausz and others--this is now possible. In the
new experiment, a gas of neon atoms is exposed to two light pulses.
One is an intense pulse containing low-energy red photons. The
second pulse is an attosecond-length pulse of ultraviolet light.
This ultraviolet attosecond pulse delivers photons so energetic that
they can rip off an electron and promote a second one to the
periphery of the atom, into an excited quantum state. Then, the
intense red pulse, consisting of just a few wave cycles (peaks and
valleys), has a chance to liberate the outlying electron via
light-field-induced tunneling. Indeed, the researchers saw this
phenomenon, predicted theoretically forty years ago but only
verified now for the first time experimentally in a direct
time-resolved study.

As each wave crest in the few-cycle red pulse
coursed through the atoms, the electrons each time upped their
probability of escaping through tunneling until it reached about
100%. The data indicate that, in this particular system, the
electrons escape via tunneling in three discrete steps, synchronized
with the three most intense wave crests at the center of the
few-cycle laser wave. Each step lasts less than 400 attoseconds.
(Uiberacker et al, Nature, 5 April 2007; also see press release with
figures and more information at www.mpq.mpg.de)"

Is that COOL, or WHAT!!!??


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 03:39 PM

Don't forget the dancing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 03:26 PM

Amos said:I think Kali is kind of like Mom - but I think he's just getting confused because they both wear a garland of 52 skulls; well, that and the freshly dismembered head that MOM waves around occasionally.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 03:22 PM

Wow, my man Rapaire does get himself into the most inneresting tangles from time to time. This Kali Ma, now, another piece of work, but one at least more open to interpretation:

"The name Kali derives from the Sanskrit root word Kal meaning time. Nothing escapes from time. Her Tibetan Buddhism counterpart is named Kala, a male figure. Of the Hindu goddesses, Goddess Kali Ma is the most misunderstood. The Encyclopedia Britannica is very mistaken in this quote, "Major Hindu goddess whose iconography, cult, and mythology commonly associate her with death, sexuality, violence, and, paradoxically in some of her later historical appearances, motherly love."

It is partially accurate to say the Goddess Kali Ma is a goddess of death. However, She brings the death of the ego as the delusional self-centered view of reality. Nowhere in the sriptures is She seen killing anything but demons nor is She associated exclusively with the process of human dying like Yama the Hindu god of death. Both Goddess Kali Ma and Shiva are said to inhabit cremation grounds and devotees often go to these places to meditate. The purpose is not to glorify death but to overcome the I-am-the-body idea. The cremation grounds reinforce the idea that the body is a temporary.

Kali and Shiva are said to dwell in these places because it is our attachment to the body that gives rise to the ego. Kali and Shiva give liberation by dissolving the illusion of the ego. Thus we are the ever-existing I AM and not the impermanent body. This is emphasized by the scene in the cremation grounds.

Out of all the Devi forms, Kali is the most compassionate because She provides moksha or liberation to Her children. She is the counterpart of Shiva. They are the destroyers of unreality. When the ego sees Mother Kali it trembles with fear because the ego sees in Her its own eventual demise. An individual who is attached to his/her ego will not be able to receive the vision of Mother Kali and She will appear in a fear invoking or "wrathful" form. A mature soul who engages in spiritual practice to remove the illusion of the ego sees Mother Kali as very sweet, affectionate, and overflowing with incomprehensible love for Her children.

Ma Kali wears a garland made of 52 skulls and a skirt made of dismembered arms because the ego comes out of identification with the body. In fact, we are beings of spirit and not flesh. So liberation can only prevail when our attachment to the body comes to an end. Therefore, the skirt and garland are trophies worn by Her to represent the liberation of Her children from attachment to the finite body.

In two of Her hands, She holds a sword and a freshly severed head that is dripping blood. This represents a great battle in which she defeated the demon Raktabija. Her black (or sometimes dark blue) skin represents the womb of the unmanifest from which all of creation is born and into which all of creation will eventually return. Goddess Kali Ma is depicted as standing on a white skinned Shiva who is lying beneath Her. His white skin is in contrast to Her black or sometimes dark blue skin. He is showing a blissful detached look on His face. Shiva is pure formless awareness sat-chit-ananda (being-consciousness-bliss) while She represents "form" eternally sustained by the underpinning of pure awareness."



I think Kali is kind of like Mom, in a way. Well, she is in a wayyy!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 01:54 PM

too late. already taken to the other thread...

8-{E


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 01:52 PM

Damn! I meant twenty-five and was thinking seventy-five more to go. Fingers, mind where you type! I wonder if the clones ever come down this way and could fix it for me!? Maybe if I pray...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 01:45 PM

?? 16975? I only see 16927


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 01:42 PM

Mother, we aare glad you are alive
Being now sixteen and nine-seventy-five
We see with hope and clarity (almost)
Ahead, thy seventeen-thousandth post.
Although no more of King Khandu we read,
And silent is the voice of Ancient Tweed,
And freds and trollops all are gone,
Yet we bold few will still press on.
We'll get you there -- soon, if not now.
This is our solemn BS vow.
And then we'll rest, and have with thee
Two chocolate cookies and three cups of tea.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 01:29 PM

This is one of the clearest translations!


The caveat is that, in Islam, one is supposed to read it in the original, as all translations are man-made, and fallible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 01:24 PM

That Koran is a piece of work, innit? No wonder they won't let people read it. Oy!!! Maybe its the translation, but it seems to be from some far-away context so obscure as to make it incomprehensible in 70% of its propositions.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 12:51 PM

MY favorite god is Kali , who is really a goddess, but she dances well. Then maybe Pele, who is one HOT chick, ya know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 12:47 PM

http://www.mcleanministries.com/ShakirKoran/html/5010/037.html


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 12:40 PM

Amos,

Since the Poet in question was Mohammad, the answer was "Yes" in the Qur'an.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 12:37 PM

Shall we give up our God for the sake of a Poet possessed?"                                                                Qur'an 37:36

Shall we, then, give up our Poet, because we are possessed by a God?

Forbid it, oh Universe!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 11:33 AM

The Book of Neuternonomy? Or the Qu'ran?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 10:20 AM

Last time I heard about a copy of that book it was being used as a doorstop at Bob Jones University.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 10:17 AM

re 11:53 PM

"Shall we give up our God for the sake of a Poet possessed?"                                                                Qur'an 37:36


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 09:15 AM

Actually, I have sought high and low for the long-lost Book of Neuteronomy, but have found it to no avail. And Miss Avail refuses to return it.

I must conclude my fortunes are run out, and have lost my copy.

Please provide the relevant quotation.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Apr 07 - 08:43 AM

Amos, you know what it says about prophet profit in the second chapter of Neuteronomy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 11:53 PM

Now, I have to add I am most disappointed that my truly brilliant efforts at epic poetry and profound sociological philosophical discourse on the meaning of Easter have neither of them brought me even a hiccup or burp of acknowledgement from the Aesthetic Judgement Panel of the Mudcat. I mean, a guy works his brains into a tizzy trying t' add some value, and what does he get? Mere echoes. Sheeshe. Sigh. Prophet in his own land, and all that, I suppose.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 11:37 PM

Rag-tag, bobtail, desperate rhyming,
Pie-eyed rhythm, wall-eyed timing
Helter-skelter, bouncing daily
As the number slip by gaily
While the non-plussed watchers pray,
nine-thirteen, and sixteen K.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 11:24 PM

Sixteen nine and twelve is she,
Such poetry we should shelve, hehe


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:05 PM

And resurrected by diggin' and delvin'
She's now at sixteen nine and eleven!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 08:17 PM

Do not fret if Mom sinks down.
Toward the shadowy part of town,
When the darkness breeds dark fear,
And the threads all disappear!
We can bring her back again,
With a click, if we've a yen,
And to make it better, men,
Now she's sixteen-nine and ten!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 04:52 PM

Ciaou, Mamma! I'm heading out for the afternoon!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 02:02 PM

Easter is, as we all know, a time of rising. It has manynoble precedents -- th erising of the morning sun (although it is actually a turning of the lowly Earth, in fact, but never mind that); the rising of our daily bread in the often, from a misformed mash to a crispy, elegant loaf; the rising of our cost of living, month upon month unto the furtherest month; and the rising of the dangerous seas as our waste products glitter in the air and heat the planet slowly up. The rising of tempers, like hot air baloons in the cognosphere, comes to mind, and the rising of creeks as the symbolic defeat of all well-laid plans (which would come true God willing and the creeks didn't).

COnsider, too, the rising of our mothers from their beds each morning, to undertake another day of effort and nurture and care and sacrifice that life itself might rise up and renew its place on our chaotic dustball. And finally, Easter is about the rising of our fathers. It is something not often remembered, but which deserves commemoration, that for each of us to be here at all, the great and the less great, somewhere in dark of night, behind a stable door, in some glowing clinic restroom, on snowy hill or spring-dappled field, a father had to rise. Rise to the occasion, as it were, which called on him to stand for something and make his contribution to the river of ferocious protoplasm cleaving its way into the future.

There are thousands of us, and each of us has a thousand friends, a thousand times a thousand; and how oft we forget the millions of earnest, passionate risings that had to be undertaken in order for our place on the madcap stage of living to even exist!

Where would we be without those torrid, dutiful risings? Our very existence would be cast down in the gloomy, fitful dust, never to take form, a waste of unused cells, a secret code of DNA wasted on the winds, without a hope. But this was not our fate, thanks to those sturdy rising men.

Therefore, let us give thanks to the million men who rose before us, and used well what life had given them to stand up for the future. Let us celebrate the risings of all men in their scores and thousands and billions back through the cellular stream to the dawn of history! Let us speak out in behalf of risings on Easter, and let us who can add to their golden number, and those who cannot, bring risings about in others, that all may acknowledge this debt to the stand-up stout-hearted souls who rose in the past that the future might live.

In nomine Dominos et omnies checkers,

Fr. Grandissimus Maxissimus Stiffissimus
Rising Star
Temple of the Golden Globes


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 12:40 PM

Mom, I'm going away to a folk festival but I'll be back on Tuesday - just in case you thought I was running away with my pinwheel number and abandoning you.

So I'll wish you Happy Easter, and leave you with this thought!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 10:41 AM

McDinwiddy, growing old in sight, and less deft at lifting lines from Keats, foolishly failed to plagiarize the last few stanzas:

Ah, endless threads! that cannot shed
Your posts, nor ever bid B.S. adieu;
And, happy posting clan,, unweariéd,
For ever spinning bull for ever new;
More pure BS! more pure, pure, pure BS!
For ever warm and still to be perused,
    For ever whirling, and for ever young;
All breathing human passion ne'er confessed,
That leaves a heart high-reeling and bemused,
    A burning mind, a wild and babbling tongue.

Who are these coming to the BS thread?
To what green brown altar, O mysterious priest,
Lead'st thou that post-- fruit of a fevered head,
With all its silken overtones increased?
What little town of blithering BS marts,
Or mountain-built with peace gone from their hearts,
    Is emptied of this folk, to read these lines?
And, little town, thy streets for evermore
Will silent be; and not a soul to tell
    Why thou art overtaken by BS, ne'er to return.

O Attic shape! Fair attitude! with brede
Of poets, fantasies and plagiarism overwrought,
With branching topics and the trodden Tweed;
Thou, silent form, dost tease us out of thought
As doth eternity: Cold rationale!
When old age shall this generation waste,
    Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe
Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say'st,
'BS is truth, truth BS--that is all
    Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

But hell, I guess when you're operating a sticky-fingers campaign ya gotta take what you can get...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 09:55 AM

You still unravish'd bride of BSedness,        
Thou foster-child of cattle and slow time,        
Prairie historian, who canst thus express        
Flowers and grass more sweetly than our rhyme:        
What leaf-fring'd legend haunts about thy orifice              
Of deities or mortals, or of both,        
    In Tempe or e'en in Phoenix itself?        
What men or gods are these? What maidens wroth?        
What mad pursuit? What struggle to escape?        
    What tar and feathers? What wild ecstasy?              

Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard        
Are sweeter; therefore, play not on;        
Not to the sensual ear, nor with sound endured.        
Pipe in silence ditties of no sound:        
Eldritch youth, beneath the trees, thou canst leave              
Thy song, and encouraged are to do so.
    Bald Lover, never, ever canst thou comb,        
Though combing near the goal — yet, do not grieve;        
Hair cannot grow there, so rub not thy head with loam,        
    For ever wilt thou rub, and none shall grow!


                -- Ludwig Alfonse McDinwiddy,
                    Odes and Stuff (Reichenbach Falls, 1892)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Apr 07 - 01:13 AM

Don't stay up all night, MOM. Tell Amos he can read more poetry to you in the morning.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 08:31 PM

This would have been a great musician's wrestling matchup: Liberace vs Tiny Tim.

And in the lightweight category: Bob Dylan vs Paul Simon.

And in the women's welterweight division: Buffy Sainte-Marie takes on Yoko Ono.

And special feature steel cage intergender match: Bob Dylan and Joanie Mitchell attempt to smoke each other under the table. Last one who can still light up another cigarette wins.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 02:26 PM

This place is a real roller coaster, I must say. We zoom from epic poetry and mythic tales to the daily rigors of hosuecats and chirping digital alarms without batting an eye, albeit occasionally turning a hare. And in case that Bugs you:

"What's updoc, anyway? "

"I think it's a kind of snew."

"Well, what's snew?"

"Not much. What's snew with you?"

Baddabing, baddabong!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 01:41 PM

I found it finally--the little chirps were not entirely directional--it kept sounding like it was from the next room. It turned out to be the little water detector that sits in the pan under my hot water heater. The battery needed changing. Meanwhile, I pulled down and blew out the insides of each of the detectors in my house. Can't hurt, but I was getting a tad frustrated at having nothing work.

Now to turn my attention to the late-middle-aged cat, who has been even more annoying in his complaints lately. He wants us to cuddle with him all of the time. I think he is ill--no weight loss yet, no jaundice, but I've noticed some blood on the stool in the litter box. I'll get him checked out, and won't make any decisions until the kids have had a chance to visit with him. He may have more time, perhaps diet alone will help, but I can't think this is something that will just go away on its own.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 01:37 PM

In Time's sands, now draw a line.
Draw it straight, and clean, and fine.
MOAB has reached Sixteen-Nine!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 01:22 PM

We were 16-8 and ninety-eight
Just two from sixteen-nine.
And the loom of seventeen thousand
Was seen down past the line.
Then with vicious broomstick waved aloft,
We heard our Mother say,
"Git out of bed, you worthless slouch!
Move out! There's seventeen K!"

So we rubbed our eyes, and looked around,
And fell into our clothes.
And out the window, over the hill,
Where the sun had lately rose,
Why sure enough, a bright gold glow,
Like the start of a second day
Was brightening up the clouds below,
The glow of Seventeen K.

We could see it shine like Gabriel's Horn,
Where the heavens meet the dawn.
And we swore our eyes were playing tricks,
And blinked; but it wasn't gone.
And all that morning it glittered there,
Like an angel hard at play.
And we knew in our hearts, we had better start
Moving out for Seventeen K.

Now somewhere men are stern and glum,
Where there burdens are too grim.
Somewhere a man turn his back on life,
'Cuz it's just too much for him.
And somewhere folks can't understand
Why children laugh, and play.
But the MOAB crew understand that, too,
As they head for Seventeen K.

We know it's there, just over the hill
If you look right, it's quite clear,
Like the pale green flash on the ocean's back
When the setting sun draws near.
So just keep your calm, if the sons of Mom
Gallop past, berserk but gay,
And give them a smile as they make that mile
That will bring on Seventteen K.

Ransom Arbuthnot Stumpwhumper
The Voice from Over the Hill
Olden, Yuppiz, Revivivien, eds.
New York City, 2004


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 12:11 PM

A "squirt of six"? How do you tell them apart when they're all just canned air? Kinda like certain portions of our beloved forum...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 12:09 PM

Try using a squirt of six from a can of canned air.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 11:58 AM

Steady on, Still! It's just the mechanical universe surging up to suppress the BS revival. Creativity drives them machine types sheer plumb mad, you know.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 11:56 AM

Mom, my smoke detector is beeping and it's driving me NUTS! I changed the battery; no good. Little bird-like chirps are emitted every so often. I think there is a small insect in there. I tried vacuuming when I saw a speck on the edge of a crevice, but I think the culprit is still inside.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 10:42 AM

Turning and turning in the widening thunder
The counter cannot hear the passing number.
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
A flood of bull is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed mind unreels, and everywhere
The innocence of apathy put down;
The best bring forth pure Bull, while the rest
Contrive in passionless mediocrity.

Surely some renaissance is now at hand;
Surely revival reaches toward the land.
BS Revival! Words no sooner spoke,
When a vast image out of some Cosmic Joke
Troubles my sight: somewhere in burning desert stress
A shape with lion head but not the heart of man,
A gaze blank and pitiless, decries BS,
Denies the Will and Wit, because it Can.

Reel shadows of the fleeing carrion birds.
The darkness breaks and stagger; and now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Are brought from nightmare by the MOAB's cradle,
And what bright hope, its hour come round at last,
Clicks on a blicky, ready to be born?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 03 Apr 07 - 10:22 AM

An interesting look! Not sure how it would go down in the library, though.


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