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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 03 Mar 07 - 11:50 AM
Amos 03 Mar 07 - 11:29 AM
Amos 03 Mar 07 - 10:59 AM
Acme 03 Mar 07 - 12:02 AM
Rapparee 02 Mar 07 - 06:33 PM
Amos 02 Mar 07 - 05:05 PM
MMario 02 Mar 07 - 12:37 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 07 - 12:32 PM
Amos 02 Mar 07 - 11:07 AM
Rapparee 02 Mar 07 - 09:08 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Mar 07 - 08:13 AM
Bunnahabhain 02 Mar 07 - 06:32 AM
Rapparee 01 Mar 07 - 08:57 PM
Acme 01 Mar 07 - 08:36 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 07 - 05:39 PM
Amos 01 Mar 07 - 04:31 PM
GUEST,CRT&D, Attorneys-At-Law 01 Mar 07 - 03:56 PM
Amos 01 Mar 07 - 03:01 PM
Amos 01 Mar 07 - 01:30 PM
MMario 01 Mar 07 - 01:22 PM
Amos 01 Mar 07 - 01:16 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Mar 07 - 01:04 PM
MMario 01 Mar 07 - 12:40 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 07 - 12:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Mar 07 - 11:31 AM
MMario 01 Mar 07 - 10:51 AM
Amos 01 Mar 07 - 10:50 AM
Acme 01 Mar 07 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 01 Mar 07 - 08:44 AM
Bunnahabhain 01 Mar 07 - 07:46 AM
Amos 28 Feb 07 - 09:27 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 07 - 09:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Feb 07 - 08:50 PM
Little Hawk 28 Feb 07 - 07:36 PM
MMario 28 Feb 07 - 07:26 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 07 - 06:36 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 07 - 06:15 PM
GUEST,Erwin Schrödinger 28 Feb 07 - 05:31 PM
Little Hawk 28 Feb 07 - 05:19 PM
Amos 28 Feb 07 - 04:32 PM
Acme 28 Feb 07 - 04:24 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 07 - 04:02 PM
gnu 28 Feb 07 - 03:56 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 07 - 03:50 PM
MMario 28 Feb 07 - 01:34 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 07 - 01:12 PM
MMario 28 Feb 07 - 10:31 AM
Little Hawk 28 Feb 07 - 10:27 AM
MMario 28 Feb 07 - 10:24 AM
Little Hawk 28 Feb 07 - 10:17 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 11:50 AM

If not the Universe, they WHO is God gonna shot craps with? Huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 11:29 AM

God: "Come on, DICE!"
Universe: "Snake eyes! Gimme!"


A strange sort of God, indeed, and perhaps a deep reflection on the godhead within us all.

As an aspiring godlet, Rapaire, can you explain how the Infinite-made-Person would go about ensuring that his dice-creation was capable of misbehaving against the wishes of his Dice-Player creation to the benefit of his Universe-as-dice-opponent creation? Does he have to divide Himself up into blind fractions to have such a Game?

'Twas ever thus...as above, so below.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 10:59 AM

Let us bow our heads in mournful silence,
Thinking of friends to long unseen;
And vow to make our home befitting of them,
By banning any posts on aubergine.
For MOABites can be both crude and rasty,
And sometimes sharp, occasionally mean;
But never has the MOAB turned all nasty
Except when writing posts on aubergines.
The aubergine is futile and misleading,
The weirdest, strangest food you've ever seen.
So let us turn ouor thoughts away from eating,
And our doggerels away from aubergine.

Thornton Pawsucker
Aesop's Future
Canton, Timidaed, Usshere
Harlem, 1936


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 12:02 AM

It seems to me that we are WAY overdue for a visit from Rustic Rebel. We could use some of her wit to mediate the aubergine craze.

And Teresa? Has anyone heard from her in a coon's age? Is she still out chasing bats in Las Vegas?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 06:33 PM

"Mother is the cooking over? Mother is the cooking done?
Thousands, thousands have been fried, they say;
Is our aubergine winning? Tell me,
Has our recipe gain'd the day?

Is all well or has he burned it?
Mother do you think of aubergine?
If you know, I pray you tell me,
All about our aubergine, all about our aubergine!

Ah! I see you cannot tell me,
Our aubergine's among the lost;
Altho' we lov'd it very dearly,
With liver it should ne'er be tossed, with liver it should ne'er be tossed.

             --Prof. Willard Cloves, "Songs of Our Town and Times"
               (Hayfork, California: The University Press), 1904


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 05:05 PM

I am delighted to see Rapaire finally reflecting on the responsibility to be taken for his wayward ways, even though it is being reflected on others up to now.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 12:37 PM

oh give me a home, where the aubergines roam
and the BS flows purt' much all day....
where seldom is heard
a true rational word
and [certain people I can't name without undue chance of attracting his attention to the regret of everyone ever reading this thread) stays far away.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 12:32 PM

It's only a rose from my mother's grave
That I'd planted long long ago
I pulled it from a stem, where it used to wave
With a windward soft and low

It's only a flower white and so fair
That she used to love so well
Sweet were the perfume that filled the air
Round her grave down in the dell

It's only a rose, a fragrant white rose
That bloomed on my mother's grave
Peace to her soul and blessed reposed
With a bright rose above her way

Only a rose from my mother's grave
A flower she loved when here
I shall press it away in a book and save
Bloom will never end in years

For mother was like this snow white rose
Gentle at heart and lovely too
Soon came the twilight with repose
Angels made her bed and knew

Only a rose from my mother's grave
Kissed by dew from heaven up above
Over her form it used to wave
In its tenderness and love

Only a rose, but through the years
We've been in some hollow shrine
Often our eyes will fill with tears
Gazing on this flower divine


Boys, take it from an old cowhand. Be good to yer mother. Don't never give her cause fer grief. Oh, if I'd only known that a'fore'n I left home to drink whiskey, gamble, and dally with the ladies! I'm sure I broke the old lady's tender heart, since I was her oldest son. Many's the time I made her weep, and iffen I could only live them times over I'd do it different, I swear! Fer one thing, I wouldn't git caught and fer another if I did I'd blame ma brother. Or Amos. It's all their fault anyways.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 11:07 AM

I've been all around this crazy world,
I've ridden trains and bombs
I've gambled hard on sea and land,
But I never let down mah Mom

Don't let your Mom go down, boys
Don't let your Mom go down!
No matter how much gloom, don't stay there in your room,
Just don't let your Mom go down!


Trad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 09:08 AM

It's not just probablility, but also relevancy. Problematic relevancy with relevant probability, seasoned with just a teeny-tiny touch of God playing dice with the Universe.

This is a fact, because I've been there and seen it.

God: "Come on, DICE!"
Universe: "Snake eyes! Gimme!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 08:13 AM

It's Gluon. The high level of improbability associated with him rubs off on the Google ads.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 06:32 AM

Please ignore anything I say until at least Monday, as I shall be sleep deprived, distracted, almost certainly less than sober, and this is assuming I am not abducted by Morris dancers, in which case all bets are off.

Now, if anyone knows why Google is trying to sell us Grass seed, I'll be impressed. I am sure there is some logic behind the random things it offers..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 08:57 PM

It's far too complicated to explain. Here.

Read it yourself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 08:36 PM

Gluon! Get down off that law's suit!

Here--have a nice tort instead.

Sorry, Misters Infection. She does that sometimes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 05:39 PM

Ah, Amos...tumor (swelling), rubor (redness), calor (heat), and dolor (pain) are the classical signs of infection.

It weren't me, dude.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 04:31 PM

Dear Sirs:

I believe I have met Dolor in my many travels but I know nothing of his other partners.

I feel I cannot, in good faith, honor your pretentious and swaggering demand, as I have sound reason to believe that you, yourselves, are a mere figment of Rapaire's perfervid and often misguided imaginings.

Should he so move you as to fulfill your dull-witted banderlog threat, I shall bring evidence to show it was lodged under false pretences by a fictitious entity who, as such, has no standing in a suit against a corporeal entity.

Furthermore, should you in some slimy, underhanded and vicious manner seek to declaim such grounds or see them overthrown, I shall rejoin and rebut on the irrefutable grounds that the author -- whom you claim to represent -- is himself a fictitious entity, albeit a far subtler one, derived from my own creative fiores and no other source. As your representations are therefore in the interest of a fictitious entity, should you somehow manage to persuade any part of the Court to your case, I shall countersue for fraud (suit on behalf of a non-corporeal entity) and shall pay all fees and damages I may incur with money of the same kind, borrowed from my daughter's Monopoly box. As, indeed, are ALL his works published and otherwise, his publishers, their pages and coverboards, and all their readers with two exceptions amongst which you may not number yourselves.

I remain, Sirs, your humble and devoted servant,

A. H. Jessup


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,CRT&D, Attorneys-At-Law
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 03:56 PM

Rubor, Calor, Tumor and Dolor
Attorneys-At-Law
1432 Pike Street Market
Seattle, Washington

Dear Sirs and/or Madams,

It has come to our attention that a poem from Wilford Gangagley Nuffsaid Junior's "Woudst Whimper a While With Me?" has been quoted in full, albeit with attribution, in this thread on this Website.

This particular work is currently the subject of a lawsuit and we, as attorneys for the Plaintiff, must demand that you quote nothing more of it until the decision of the Court is made, all appeals have been exhausted, and the United States Supreme Court has ruled.

Should you fail to honor this request we will ask for the issuance of a bench warrant for Contempt of Court.

For your reference the case is Nuffsaid v. Nuffsaid.

Sincerely yours,

Reuben Calor
Senior Partner,
Rubor, Calor, Tumor and Dolor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 03:01 PM

Of quarks and charm and ions I have seen,
Of mystic dog-ducks and of aubergine,
Of musty tomes, and of varied lands,
Of engines screaming steam to make 12 grand,
Of blades and songs and poems, and their thieving,
Of spatula delight and wintry grieving,
Of all these things, across our many shores
I've written much, and gone and writ some more.
I've talked of Tao and mystic Jayne and Shinto,
Of Rapaire's couch, astride a rusty Pinto,
Of smokey taverns where the Goddess sat,
And Little Hawks obsession with the Shat.
Of all these myriad topics,now, I tire
And to another realm of writing I aspire;
I yearn to pass the shimmering MOAB fence
And write somewhere where writing things makes sense!
Where art and craft are honored there,
And not just stolen and repainted by Rapaire.
To such a land my gaze in hope doth turn,
And finds it not; and to B.S. returns.
Returns, returns, and to B.S. returns,
A land where hero's strife the merest trifle earns.
Where men may languish where their souls have burned,
And so to MOAB's home, I have returned.

Wilford Gangagley Nuffsaid Junior
Woudst Whimper a While With Me? and Other Poems
Jejeune, Callow and Gawking, Manketo, MN, 2001


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 01:30 PM

Hooking up Rapaire has been known to have that effect on various life forms.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 01:22 PM

Looking at the probabilities - you will note that Gluon carries a great deal of uncertainty; almlost as much as an Aubergine. Gluon was female when first spotted; but in a later encounter with Rapaire was definately male.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 01:16 PM

Which means in all probability, he has been doing it forever...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 01:04 PM

Perhaps it is more correctly stated that "On April 20th, we shall have been aware of Gluon's existence for two years." I doubt the concept of "age" applies to our dear Gluon. Afterall, he is able to pop in and out of existence at any point along the space-time continuum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 12:40 PM

Do people realize that on April 20th Gluon will be two years old?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 12:18 PM

Take these eager lips and let me taste
I'm afraid this kind of joy can't last
How can we keep good taste alive
How can anything survive
When these little minds tear you in two
What a chef without training can do

How can we keep good taste alive
How can anything survive
When these little minds tear you in two
What a chef without training can do

No, it isn't very aubergine what a chef without haute cuisine can do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 11:31 AM

Aubergine, my Auber-genie
You're not green like a zucchini
Nor dyed red like a cheap weenie
Aubergine, my Auber-genie

How lovely is my Auber-genie
Lovelier than West Virginee
And stronger than a gin martini
Aubergine, my Auber-genie

And I believe my Auber-genie
In a bed of fettucine
Is sexy as a string bikini
Aubergine, my Auber-genie


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 10:51 AM

Good eggplant recipes? Like Imam Byaldi? Or Baba Ghannouj?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 10:50 AM

Why would anayone waste a perfectly good Google on an aubergine?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 10:36 AM

Just think of the poor sods who are Googling the Internet looking for good eggplant recipies. Welcome to Mudcat!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 08:44 AM

"Wulf" is Eldritch Anglo-Saxon for "aubergine" and "Beo-" is a prefix which means "brave, courageous, foolish." You will find this information on the website of the Idaho Legion in the "Surprising Unbelievable Stuff You Just Won't Believe But That We Think Is Probably True" section. (While there you can also find a list of the beers and liquors served at the Hovel. It's in PDF so you'll have to download it, but be aware that on a OCD-12 line it take hours, so if you don't have at least that speed don't try it. If you;'re on dial-up don't even think about it.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 07:46 AM

I'm thinking Middle Saxons of Beowulf's time would not use Aubergines much, give the plant appears to originate in India.

Now of course, Saxony leads the world in the conspicuous consumption of them, and various small towns hold annual aubergine festivals, where giant aubergines run down the narrow, cobbled streets, and are pelted with bulls from the first floor windows of the buildings overlooking the run. This only happens after the ends of last years fermented aubergine fire-water, now rich in unfortunate flavours and mild hallucinogens has been drunk....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 09:27 PM

MM:

Act V. Scene I. The Life of King Henry the Fifth

by Will Rapaire, Avon-on-Turkey, Essex, UK


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 09:14 PM

LH, a few years back I wrote this.

It's a pretty epic epic about aubergines.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 08:50 PM

Scientists can look at things
So tiny that they can't be seen
By using specialized devices
That magnify a billion sizes

Yet there's one thing that is so small
It really can't be seen at all
And that's the difference between
An eggplant and an aubergine

(Ogden Nash, eat your heart out!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 07:36 PM

Good Lord, Rapaire! You must have even more time on your idle hands than I do to write such heroic stuff!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 07:26 PM

That one was straight out of l-space, wasn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 06:36 PM

GOWER

    Nay, that's right; but why wear you your aubergine today?
    Saint Dymphna's day is past.

FLUELLEN

    There is occasions and causes why and wherefore in
    all things: I will tell you, asse my friend,
    Captain Gower: the rascally, scald, beggarly,
    lousy, pragging knave, Pistol, which you and
    yourself and all the world know to be no petter
    than a fellow, look you now, of no merits, he is
    come to me and prings me pread and salt yesterday,
    look you, and bid me eat my aubergine: it was in place
    where I could not breed no contention with him; but
    I will be so bold as to wear it in my cap till I see
    him once again, and then I will tell him a little
    piece of my desires.

    Enter PISTOL

GOWER

    Why, here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock.

FLUELLEN

    'Tis no matter for his swellings nor his
    turkey-cocks. God pless you, Aunchient Pistol! you
    scurvy, lousy knave, God pless you!

PISTOL

    Ha! art thou bedlam? dost thou thirst, base Trojan,
    To have me fold up Parca's fatal web?
    Hence! I am qualmish at the smell of aubergine.

FLUELLEN

    I peseech you heartily, scurvy, lousy knave, at my
    desires, and my requests, and my petitions, to eat,
    look you, this aubergine: because, look you, you do not
    love it, nor your affections and your appetites and
    your digestions doo's not agree with it, I would
    desire you to eat it.

PISTOL

    Not for Cadwallader and all his goats.

FLUELLEN

    There is one goat for you.

    Strikes him
    Will you be so good, scauld knave, as eat it?

PISTOL

    Base Trojan, thou shalt die.

FLUELLEN

    You say very true, scauld knave, when God's will is:
    I will desire you to live in the mean time, and eat
    your victuals: come, there is sauce for it.

    Strikes him
    You called me yesterday mountain-squire; but I will
    make you to-day a squire of low degree. I pray you,
    fall to: if you can mock an aubergine, you can eat an aubergine.

GOWER

    Enough, captain: you have astonished him.

FLUELLEN

    I say, I will make him eat some part of my aubergine, or
    I will peat his pate four days. Bite, I pray you; it
    is good for your green wound and your ploody coxcomb.

PISTOL

    Must I bite?

FLUELLEN

    Yes, certainly, and out of doubt and out of question
    too, and ambiguities.

PISTOL

    By this aubergine, I will most horribly revenge: I eat
    and eat, I swear--

FLUELLEN

    Eat, I pray you: will you have some more sauce to
    your aubergine? there is not enough aubergine to swear by.

PISTOL

    Quiet thy cudgel; thou dost see I eat.

FLUELLEN

    Much good do you, scauld knave, heartily. Nay, pray
    you, throw none away; the skin is good for your
    broken coxcomb. When you take occasions to see aubergines
    hereafter, I pray you, mock at 'em; that is all.


                   --- William Shakespeare,The Tragical
                         History of Fluellen, Prince of
                         Llanfairpwll
(Merthyr Tydfil:
                         The University Press, 1606)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 06:15 PM

Or a sauerkraut. My grandma used to grow sauerkrauts in the garden.



Stunk up the whole danged neighborhood, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Erwin Schrödinger
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 05:31 PM

Zince it vas a reference to my verk that shtarted this aubergine thing, I thought it proper of me to set the record shtraight. I deshpise aubergines! If I vanted to replace the cat in my ekshperiment mit a fegetable, it vud be a good Austrian fegetable like a cabbage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 05:19 PM

"An Aubergine! An Aubergine! My kingdom for an Aubergine!!!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 04:32 PM

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made colder more by hordes of aubergines;
This son of northern squawking comes,
Borrowing craft and leaving them careened
Up on the wintry shores of replication dry.
How shall we answer, when they ask us, "Why?"
Shall we explain his sticky-minded ways?
Or how we let him, through this thread's long wending,
Repeat his wicked petty stealing, days upon days,
Hoping he would himself to it bring ending.
Nay, say 'tis not so -- this violent schism
Between the best and all the hurried worst,
Cannot be raised to speak for plagiarism,
Nor answer Mother's deep creative thirst!
Tell him, good friends, "Go to!"
Scorn him as any footpad, harlot,
Or power hungry rogue, who, deep, untrue,
And vile, shall make us all a varlet.

William Bumpster Nuance
Calls to Arms and other Body Parts
Fanta Se Publications and Californication Press
Santa Fe, New Mexico 2005


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 04:24 PM

MacDuff: He has no children. All my pretty ones?
Did you say all? O hell-kite! All?
What, all my pretty chickens and aubergines and their dam
At one fell swoop?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 04:02 PM

Macbeth shall never vanquish'd be until
Great aubergine to his high gorge
Shall come against him.


               --Macbeth, Act 4, Scene 1 (The "Director's Cut")


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 03:56 PM

Wow! This is a big thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 03:50 PM

Our dinners now are ended. These our aubergines,
As I foretold you, were all eaten and
Are melted into oil, into olive oil:
And, like the breaded fabric of this eggplant,
The breaded slices, the oil-soaked cutlets,
The solemn casseroles, the great parmesan itself,
Yea, all which it ingested, shall dissolve
And, like this too-substantial dinner faded,
Leave not an ort behind. We are such stuff
As aubergines are made of, and our little lunch
Is rounded with a burp.

                  -- S. P. D. Al-Kaselzar, The Temptress


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 01:34 PM

The aubergine of mercy is not strain'd,
It ploppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the plate beneath: it is twice cooked;
It blesseth him that cooks and him that eats:
'Tis tastiest in the tastiest: it surfiets
The throned monarch better than roast beast;
His fork may show the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty,
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;
But aubergines are above this sceptred sway;
It is enthroned in the stomachs of kings,
It is an attribute to God himself;
And earthly power doth then show likest God's
When aubergines are seasoned thusly.


recipe fragment - attributed to Anne Hathaway. circa 1600


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 01:12 PM

Once upon a midnight dreary, as I was tossing, weak and weary,
From many a dish of quaint and curious cuisine,
While I nodded, nearly furling, suddenly there came a hurling,
As of some one violently vomiting, vomiting upon my chamber floor.
'Tis the aubergine,' I muttered, `now spattered upon my chamber floor      
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought some surcease,
For my stomach surcease of sorrow - sorrow for my chamber floor -
For the rare and radiant cleanliness with which it had shone before
Fouled now for evermore.

                         -- Allen Edgar O'Mulcahy, The Hurling
                            (Boston: Little Children's Home
                              Companion, April 16, 1843.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 10:31 AM

It *is* Schrodinger's Aubergine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 10:27 AM

Perhaps that explains its presence here then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 10:24 AM

As I proceeded down the stairs
an aubergine just wasn't there
it wasn't there again today
How I wish it would go away!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 10:17 AM

I think that I have never seen
A sight so grand as an aubergine
Reposing gladsome on the sward
Or placed supine on a cutting board
Its glossy skin, its purple flanks
Reflect the lights in my fish tanks
As there it sits too shy to speak
Its grace inherent and so unique
Shall I this unspoiled flesh devour?
Or shall I sit there hour by hour
Entranced by beauty so divine
Ah! Aubergine...wilt thou be mine?


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