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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Charley Noble 24 Sep 06 - 10:41 AM
Amos 24 Sep 06 - 01:33 AM
Acme 24 Sep 06 - 12:57 AM
Rapparee 23 Sep 06 - 09:54 PM
Amos 23 Sep 06 - 12:52 AM
Acme 23 Sep 06 - 12:43 AM
Amos 22 Sep 06 - 07:04 PM
Amos 22 Sep 06 - 04:16 PM
Amos 22 Sep 06 - 12:17 PM
Acme 22 Sep 06 - 11:15 AM
Amos 22 Sep 06 - 11:07 AM
beardedbruce 22 Sep 06 - 09:41 AM
Bunnahabhain 22 Sep 06 - 08:24 AM
Rapparee 21 Sep 06 - 09:51 PM
Peace 21 Sep 06 - 09:23 PM
Acme 21 Sep 06 - 09:16 PM
Amos 21 Sep 06 - 08:26 PM
Peace 21 Sep 06 - 07:17 PM
Peace 21 Sep 06 - 07:13 PM
Peace 21 Sep 06 - 07:12 PM
Amos 21 Sep 06 - 06:35 PM
Acme 21 Sep 06 - 06:22 PM
Acme 21 Sep 06 - 06:17 PM
GUEST,I was there at the beginning man 21 Sep 06 - 03:54 PM
Amos 21 Sep 06 - 01:08 PM
MMario 21 Sep 06 - 12:57 PM
GUEST,i was there at the beginning of woman 21 Sep 06 - 12:52 PM
Acme 21 Sep 06 - 12:42 PM
Amos 21 Sep 06 - 10:22 AM
Rapparee 21 Sep 06 - 09:36 AM
MMario 21 Sep 06 - 09:26 AM
Rapparee 21 Sep 06 - 09:19 AM
Rapparee 21 Sep 06 - 08:57 AM
Amos 21 Sep 06 - 08:55 AM
Bunnahabhain 21 Sep 06 - 07:22 AM
Amos 20 Sep 06 - 11:41 PM
Acme 20 Sep 06 - 11:20 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 06 - 06:47 PM
GUEST,KB 20 Sep 06 - 05:36 PM
GUEST,I was there at the beginning man 20 Sep 06 - 04:40 PM
MMario 20 Sep 06 - 04:33 PM
GUEST,I was there at the beginning man 20 Sep 06 - 04:27 PM
MMario 20 Sep 06 - 03:55 PM
Acme 20 Sep 06 - 03:48 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 06 - 03:08 PM
MMario 20 Sep 06 - 03:03 PM
Amos 20 Sep 06 - 03:01 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 06 - 02:50 PM
Amos 20 Sep 06 - 01:54 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 06 - 12:45 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 10:41 AM

What time is it? Sir/Ma'am, I am deeply embarrassed and greatly humiliated but due to unforeseen circumstances over which I have no control, the inner workings and hidden mechanisms of my chronometer are in such inaccord with the great sidereal movement by which time is commonly reckoned that I cannot with any degree of accuracy state the exact time!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble, who is never on time!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 01:33 AM

Mom!!! Rapaire's posting in sign language again. Make him stop!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 12:57 AM

Busy day, MOM, but I'm home and ready to hop in the shower. Kind of an exciting (not good) event this morning--after walking the dogs I found a tick on me--attached. Yuck! Now I'll keep an eye out for anything that might need to be treated because of it. It didn't get much blood, it wasn't there long, but it was attached and did leave a spot. I will be checking the dogs again in the morning, and I won't be walking through that field again any time soon! Not till after a hard freeze, maybe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 06 - 09:54 PM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 06 - 12:52 AM

No, ma'am, I ain't leaving town. Mom tole me mebbe I should but I persuaded her it was okay and I would put things right with the girl's father.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 06 - 12:43 AM

Does that mean you're going out of town for three days, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 07:04 PM

But, ya knowm, we can forgive ole Rapaire; he's a lunkhead, but he's OUR lunkhead, and when we make him mad he can be fooled into doing the heavy lifting for Mom for three straight days.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 04:16 PM

Mom feels soooo tired. Every time she turns around Rapaire is getting in touch with his wild side and threatening the very foundations of civilization in our house. She's tried and tried to teach him to be a Good Boy, but he always forgets. She's worried what might become of him, and thinks perhaps he will have to leave town if this keeps up.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 12:17 PM

Explosive Concrete Spalling

Bunker Busters

However I do not recommend using depleted uranium.

Or you could fill the thing with water, seal it and heat it until it blows.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 11:15 AM

Why do you assume that MOAB's BS is the equivalent of political prevarication? They aren't remotely related! Ours is good quality material, and what's more, it is fresh, none of this recycled patter!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 11:07 AM

If I had wings, like a common thrush
I'd fly over DC and poop on George Bush
Fare thee well, oh, honey,
Fare thee well.

BB, that was wonderful. I have never seen broad political sentiment encapsulated so clearly in so many words.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 09:41 AM

from thread.cfm?threadid=94882&messages=6


If this does not belong on MOAB, what does?


"Well I'm very glad you asked me that for at this point in time
In the circumstances that prevail there is in the pipeline
Infrastructural implications interfaced with lines of thought
Which lead to grass roots viabilities which at this time I'd rather not Annunciate in ambiguities but rather seek to find
Negotiated compromises which are the bottom line
For full and frank discussion which would serve to integrate
With basic fundamental principles to which we all relate
Not indoctrinaire philosophy which any fool can see
An inescapable hypothesis confronting you and me
So in the interest of the common good now you need never fear
For I've got the matter well in hand and I'm glad I've made things clear."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 08:24 AM

Translation: Please remove cat from keyboard, and try again.



Rapaire. Another trick I read about somewhere, using less explosives goes like this. Take lots of Det cord, put several dozen turns of it on the pipe, sandbag and detonate as below. Less likley to have air traffic control tracking bits of the house....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:51 PM

ttuyn arnsx hvirw aebvi oeppx mvnce ggwsp xxxxx


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:23 PM

Once you break the code, YES!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:16 PM

Is there anything worth reading over there?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 08:26 PM

Hahahaha--I see they are roaring up on three hundred fifteen!! Wowie Zowie!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 07:17 PM

And one more to keep your numbers up, because the 85 billion thread is starting to move.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 07:13 PM

This is now my third post. Just stopped in to see how y'all are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 07:12 PM

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 06:35 PM

Dang -- my guidelines WERE a little harsh, I guess, but, hey -- MOAB is not Easy Street, ya know? Ya gotta be able to stand up and state yer feelings plainly and with adequate humor. Surely that is not too much to ask!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 06:22 PM

I suppose by having those other guys mingle here it would push our numbers up, thus slowing the count on that other thread. But who's counting, and anyway, the BS has to be of good quality. Maybe given a little time to reflect they'll find a suitable inspiration and return with a flourish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 06:17 PM

If you're new to a place, it's best to hang around (called "lurking") and read a while before jumping in and telling people how they should behave. That's pretty basic. I was protesting the arrival and disruption of our ongoing banter by someone virtually standing in the middle of the room and changing the subject by announcing they had arrived without a clue as to where they had arrived.

This kind of behavior can set off Gluon or the freds and then you're not only likely to lose Pluto, you're liable to have someone pack it up and carry it off or send it careening into the moon. So be careful where you step and take your time introducing yourself. That's not so difficult.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 03:54 PM

"What is this "GUEST,I was there at the beginning man" as a name? It isn't, it's a description. Same with that other one, who is "KB"?"
(Stilly River Sage)

Stilly River Sage I may be a description but I am a description with feelings and emotions (granted odd ones). So too has 'that other one' KB (not odd ones though) and she is clearly deflated after summoning up the courage to post here, as am I. This is not the "all are welcome" we were lead to expect from MOAB (MMario and Rapaire excepted). And this was followed by Amos' vile 'poster criteria' song!

I'll stick with a thread where even descriptions are welcome (and odd ones at that!). GOODBYE


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 01:08 PM

Well, Mom puts it out as well as putting it on. SOmetimes I think she's putting us all on!

Your other choice, Rapaire, is to hire a wrecking ball.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 12:57 PM

You use a drop-in conditioner, 'TATBOW? I prefer a rinse-out one, myself.

yup - MOM has grown to over 14 thousand 1 hundred (and more!) posts - but we don't usually mention it to her - she's sensitive about gainng weight. BS shouldn't be too heavy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,i was there at the beginning of woman
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 12:52 PM

i can't believe there are over fourteen thousand posts here.
just came to see how that could be possible. I only read 5.
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.

David Letterman used a tater tots gun on his show last night.
He is having guest ventriloquists all week on his tonight show.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 12:42 PM

I will refer you back to the entertaining thread on "Rocket Science?" and Fergie's story in particular: Click here. Very funny, but also probably would work.

Rap, how close is this thing to the house? Will the Red Cross have to come out and find alternative housing for you while the insurance company rebuilds?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 10:22 AM

Then the ram lamb sheep horns began to blow
Shaking all over the ground
Rapaire commanded the librarians to sing
And the wall came tumbling down, down
The wall came a-tumbling down.


(Here at Mudcat, we tear down walls the old-fashioned way -- we sing 'em to death!)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:36 AM

Or just have my 12 year old nephew come visit and say, "Betcha a dollar you can't get that pipe and concrete down!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:26 AM

why not just borrow a classroom full of kindergarden students and tell them they are under no circumstance to move the pipe and concrete?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:19 AM

Quarter pound block of C-4, several feet of detonating cord (Primacord), one blasting cap, more than a few meters of wire, a detonating machine or batteries, and a bunch of filled sandbags (the more the merrier).

Wrap det cord around base of pipe, leaving a foot or so trailing out. Mold C-4 plastic explosive over det cord, splaying it out onto the concrete base. Tape or otherwise affix cap to det cord. Cover base det cord and C-4 with sandbags.

Move a ways away. Use the detonating machine (so-called "plunger") or connect the batteries. Wait for debris to stop falling, neighbors to stop complaining, golfers to clean their pants up, and cops to leave. Put debris out for trash pickup or turn into a yard ornament.

ALTERNATE:

Snakehole under the pipe and concrete, insert explosives in snakehole, touch it off, and launch the pipe assemblage into orbit -- or someone else's yard. In either case, no longer my problem. Fill in resulting hole in back yard, repair lawn sprinklers, etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 08:57 AM

I really, really wanted to use it as a vertically oriented spud gun but my wife was opposed to that, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 08:55 AM

One 8" length of ordinary lead pipe with threaded ends
One ounce 87 octane gasoline
Two threaded pipe-caps, one drilled to accept fuse
One fuse (length proportional to desire to survive)

Install lower pipe-cap. Place gasoline in pipe. Insert upper pipe cap. Thread fuse through hole in upper pipe-cap. Shake gently to develop vapor.

Light fuse.

Drop assembly in Sat. mast.

Depart area with celerity.

On return, pick up chunks, and haul to dump.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 07:22 AM

I'm fairly sure Gluon isn't a person, and is only real some of the time. I would try and ask the creture, but it appears to be chasing Schrodingers cat between universes, and is somewhat unavailable.

Other than that, spot on SRS.

Rap, have you tried just bending the thing over?
Tie a rope to the very top, and fix the other end to a truck towhook, or run it through a pulley to triple it over or so, and tie of to a large tree. Give a good bash with the sledge right at the bottom, on the side you are pulling it from. It should just bend over, without too much. Bend it up and down a few times, should be able to do that straight by hand, and it should just snap off at the bottom. It worked for me with some scaffolding poles some kind soul used as washing line posts. 4 inch tube, 3/8 inch walls or close to that, and it went easily enough.

Blasting would have been more fun though....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 11:41 PM

This thread don't carry no airheads, this thread
This thread don't carry no airheads, this thread!
This thread don't carry no air heads
Wear you hats, don't bring no bare heads,
This thread don't carry no airheads,
This thread.

This thread don't want no tumors, this thread
This thread don't want no tumors, this thread
This thread don't want no tumor
Pallid puns nor UK humour,
This thread don't want no tumor, this thread.

This thread don't run on speed, this thread
This thread don't run on speed, this thread.
This thread don't run on speed,
Quality BS is all she needs,
This thread don't run on speed, this thread.

Goody Two-shoes Coyote
Songs of the Shenandoah Shore
Urban Legend Publications, Boston, 1985


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 11:20 PM

I protest! WE are all real people here, even if Amos is the only one who actually uses his name. What is this "GUEST,I was there at the beginning man" as a name? It isn't, it's a description. Same with that other one, who is "KB"? I think Little Hawk is off his meds again and transmogrifying. Or Shatner has gone round the bend. Either way, this is just too many personalities to run at once. Gotta lose a couple if you want to launch this one over here. So far I can keep it straight in my head, but we're nearing the point where we need a scorecard. (You could ditch BDiBR . . .)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:47 PM

It's the Idaho Legion, not League. The Idaho League is a group of really lousy baseball teams from towns like Shoup and Atomic City: i.e., so small that the entire population of the town makes up the baseball team.

The Idaho Legion, on the other hand, is a group of fine, sometimes standing individuals who revel in their individuality and stand for Truth, Justice, Beer, Country, Whiskey and Whisky, The Right to Keep and Arm Bears, Good Horseflesh, Setting Off Various Things That Go Bang, The Opposite Sex Unless You Prefer Otherwise, National De Fence, and Other Good Things (that's from the Legion's Statement of Beliefs). Membership is very selective, requiring among other things that you have a body temperature above that of the ambient surroundings, blood pressure greater than 30 over 10, a pulse, and a (preferably well-filled) wallet (consciousness is optional).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 05:36 PM

Hey MOAB'ers. If IWTATBM can do it, by gum then so can I. The 85 billion post is where I usually hang out but a fellow can do with more than one watering hole. I am from the states by the way. Not all of them, just one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 04:40 PM

No you can't call me IW (cheek). But I will settle for IWTATBM. Thanks for the welcome and intro's though. I'm from Blighty meself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 04:33 PM

Welcome to MOAB, IWTATBM.

Can we call you IW for short?

Not all of us are Americans or even from the States. Some of us are Duckdogs, freds, ralfs, and gentry.

then there is the Idaho League - a few of the members of which they aren't sure *what* they are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 04:27 PM

Hi MOAB posters,
I haven't posted here before and am just trying it out. I have met some of you on the 85 billion thread and that set me wondering what goes on over here. Thought it would be nice to get to know you all. So... what's your favourite food? Are you all Americans (nothing wrong with that)? Fancy a first to 15,000 post competition with the 85 billion thread. We trounced the 5000 thread to 300, tee hee, don't laugh (or underestimate us)?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:55 PM

psstttt...Have you guys noticed that sometimes Stilly is just like MOM?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:48 PM

You boys have been busy since I last posted this morning. Whew!

Mmario, Mmario, Mmario! Bluestockings and schoolmarms are ALWAYS mutually exclusive terms. They don't go together, no way, nohow.

Acres of Clams is sacred to those of us from Puget Sound. Don't mess with it. Steal something else to use to rant about Idaho with, please!

Hitch that dish up to the back of your pickup truck and give it a few tugs. Oughta take care of it, even if that is a big piece of concrete.

Mmario, just bite your tongue around you-know-who. The guy is a nut case and just won't quit if you can't resist goading him on.

Okay. Now I'll go back to work. Take it easy guys, it's only Wednesday. You have to get through the rest of the week still!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:08 PM

I did. I broke a ganglion and damned near passed out from pain. Then I went at it again. The concrete must be six feet deep! And I have no way of simply cutting the pipe off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:03 PM

hey Amos - use that sledge on me and give me a quick hit upside the head before I react to he-who-must-not-be-responded to. Wouldja?

Thanx


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:01 PM

Hell, I'd start by using a sledge hammer on it to see if I could crack it into chunks. That would release the pipe.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 02:50 PM

Nah, I just wanna bust up some concrete in the back yard. It supports an old satellite TV mast about six feet high, and while I consider it an objet d'art, my wife wouldn't mind it gone. Damn thing is 1/4" steel pipe about 8" in diameter, and damned tough steel too! Blasting would work, but my wife's against that for some reason.

She also won't let me shoot golf even though I promised I would only use a 20 gauge or put up an archery target a couple fairways over to practice on. Sometimes I just don't understand her....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 01:54 PM

We didn't do blasting, but if you need a place to put fire in the hole, that Hard Cap drill would probably do the trick. If you want an antique, there are still places in the hills around Sacramento and Placerville where older-timers a hundred and more years back dropped their toools and walke3d away, just as the song says, and you can still sometimes find old iron thingambobs and whizzcracks buried in the forest leaves on the mountain side. We found a six-foot wide cast-iron sluicing form -- like an iron doughnut, sorta, but hollow -- and we dragged it back to camp by tying a rope to it and hooking it to the back of a pickup and hauling it up the mountainside to the dirt road anddown to camp, where we used it to break up chunks of sample for assaying or panning.

I couldn't make money from logging,
And I'd never get by on my looks,
So I fell into cold data-flogging
By digging through acres of books
.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 12:45 PM

John Henry said to the Shaker,
"Shaker, you better pray,
Cuz if I miss with this nine-pound hammer
Tomorrow gonna be your buryin' day, Lord Lord...."


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