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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 30 May 06 - 10:24 PM
Rapparee 30 May 06 - 02:46 PM
Amos 30 May 06 - 02:37 PM
Acme 30 May 06 - 12:21 PM
Rapparee 30 May 06 - 11:53 AM
Rapparee 30 May 06 - 11:41 AM
Amos 30 May 06 - 09:29 AM
Rapparee 29 May 06 - 09:30 PM
Rapparee 29 May 06 - 08:45 PM
Amos 29 May 06 - 06:33 PM
Little Hawk 29 May 06 - 06:22 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 29 May 06 - 06:00 PM
Amos 29 May 06 - 05:48 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 29 May 06 - 05:32 PM
Amos 29 May 06 - 03:44 PM
Little Hawk 29 May 06 - 03:10 PM
Amos 29 May 06 - 03:05 PM
Acme 29 May 06 - 02:39 PM
Amos 29 May 06 - 12:59 PM
Acme 29 May 06 - 11:26 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 29 May 06 - 09:45 AM
Amos 28 May 06 - 05:25 PM
Little Hawk 28 May 06 - 04:32 PM
Amos 28 May 06 - 04:23 PM
MMario 28 May 06 - 06:39 AM
Amos 28 May 06 - 01:48 AM
Acme 27 May 06 - 09:17 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 27 May 06 - 08:03 PM
Little Hawk 27 May 06 - 07:51 PM
Amos 27 May 06 - 07:48 PM
Little Hawk 27 May 06 - 05:08 PM
Little Hawk 27 May 06 - 04:11 PM
Rapparee 27 May 06 - 04:08 PM
Little Hawk 27 May 06 - 03:38 PM
Acme 27 May 06 - 12:17 PM
Amos 27 May 06 - 12:09 PM
Acme 27 May 06 - 11:37 AM
Acme 27 May 06 - 01:12 AM
Acme 26 May 06 - 06:13 PM
Amos 26 May 06 - 09:43 AM
Amos 26 May 06 - 09:25 AM
GUEST,freds 26 May 06 - 09:07 AM
GUEST 26 May 06 - 01:38 AM
GUEST 26 May 06 - 01:30 AM
Amos 25 May 06 - 07:26 PM
GUEST,freds 25 May 06 - 05:45 PM
Amos 25 May 06 - 05:06 PM
Bunnahabhain 25 May 06 - 02:39 PM
Amos 25 May 06 - 01:24 PM
Acme 25 May 06 - 09:54 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 May 06 - 10:24 PM

Bad? Did I say bad? I meant really, really good war movies. Movies with REAL dialogue! Movies like, like, John Wayne and Ronald Reagan used to make.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 May 06 - 02:46 PM

Rapaire would never steal copyrighted material! He might, however, stoop to paraphrasing bad war movies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 May 06 - 02:37 PM

The idea that Rapaire would stoop to stealing phrases from traditional songs of any genre, and not identifying the sources he used, is...well, titllating, but I am sure he is quite above such shenanigans today.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 May 06 - 12:21 PM

And (koff! koff!) mail this letter to my mom for me, willya? I ain't seen her in twenny years and I want her to have my last pay.

I bet the song this reminds me of is the cowboy song he stole this from. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 May 06 - 11:53 AM

And that's because I come from humble stock. Born as I was into a little log cabin I built myself, we had nothing to eat for months on end but borrowed food. We'd pass it down in the family, each of us chewing it a bit, until the youngest actually got to swallow it. It was a hard life, but we grew up strong and straight, all of us good Americans, upright and honest, mostly. Why, I never saw television until I was well into my thirties, and as for radio, well, we'd heard about it. Yes, we'd talk about Jack Benny and The Shadow with our classmates at the exclusive St. Dismas School (we worked our way through mucking out sewers, because we knew the value of a good education) just as if we actually had a radio because youth is resilient. And being able to talk about things we knew nothing about has served us in good stead, as my brother is now an Alderman.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 May 06 - 11:41 AM

I am extremely proud of my humility, I'll have you know! I'm proud, YES! proud to be so humble!

Say it long and say it loud,
I am humble and I am proud!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 May 06 - 09:29 AM

On second thought, Rapaire, how's about you revert to type. Your practiced humility is too rich for my poor, abused gut. LOL!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 06 - 09:30 PM

And I myself am but a humble public servant, one who makes but a pitiful attempt to provide to others that which may or may not supply their informational, educational, and recreational wants here in this vast cultural desert that is Eastern Idaho. I am nought but a mote of dust in bathed in Amos' nova-like brilliance, the poorest of worms that he would trample underfoot with nothing but a "Yuck! What's that on my shoe?", scrape me off, and continue on.

No, no, forget about me. Just leave me a rusty saw and a bullet to bite on while I cut off my legs. Don't let me detain you. I'll hold 'em off, but remember me to that Kid down in Louie's Bar. She's a good kid and deserved better than me. And (koff! koff!) mail this letter to my mom for me, willya? I ain't seen her in twenny years and I want her to have my last pay. Poor old woman, raising six kids on four acres, plowin' the field before she went to work pickin' coal in a two-foot seam for Mr. Peabody. And...and...Amos? Tell MOM my last thoughts were of her and not to cry 'cause I doin' this for America.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 06 - 08:45 PM

Amos, I would never disparage you. I tell everyone I know that you are without question the single most intelligent, witty, and best looking person I have ever met. Well-read, wise, informed, erudite, reasoning, cogitative, thoughtful, understanding, discerning, sensible, prudent, pansophistic, and blessed with a sapience beyond the ken of mortal man: faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall building with a single bound, and who, with his beloved dog "Yukon King" and his faithful Indian companion, Tonto, brings Truth, Justice, and the American Way to the snowy Yukon.

Astute
Modest
Openminded
Sage

Judicious
Educated
Smart
Sharp
Unlimited
Practical


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 06 - 06:33 PM

Obviously, my good Hawk, you have never read the Congressional Record. They inflict in a month thrice the BS we have raised here in three years!

Rapaire, I am sullen with you; you speak poorly of me in public places, and highly of yourself everywhere. It is unbecoming, sirrah, more fit for some scurrilous varlet.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 06 - 06:22 PM

Never in the annals of human history has so much unadulteraded BS been inflicted upon so many by so few.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 29 May 06 - 06:00 PM

Have you noticed that there are now over 251 pages to the Book of MOAB? Page upon page of wit, grace, intelligence, and information completely unavailable elsewhere. Poetry and wisdom, prose and jibes, science and speculation -- offerings from Khandu and Tweed and Peace and SRS and Bee-Dubya-Ell and Joe Offer and 'most ever Catter. Even from Wienerhead Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 06 - 05:48 PM

Serves you right for not telling about it. Neener.


Mom!! Rapaire is a doodoo head!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 29 May 06 - 05:32 PM

Dear Mom,

I'm not running away from home, even though Amos is mean to me.

That'll fix him.

And I learned about the invisibility cloak last week, so there!

Love,
R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 06 - 03:44 PM

LH, it was Gluon who was shatnificating. Right in the parlor. Mom was SO PO'd, man!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 06 - 03:10 PM

Don't shatnificate unless you have something useful to say.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 06 - 03:05 PM

Oh that old periscope is no fun. People can see ya using it. When Mister La French saw me looking over his hedges yesterday he said he was gonna shoot me. That's why I need an invisibility cloak. I guess he didn't want his wife to know about the baby he was making with that UPS lady.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 May 06 - 02:39 PM

Amos, MOM doesn't have time to go to China today, I think she's cleaning up one of Gluon's messes. You'll have to be content with your periscope for now.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 06 - 12:59 PM

Mom, I want an invisibility cloak. Can we go to China and get one?




BEIJING, May 29 (Xinhuanet) -- New studies suggest that science-fiction portrayals of invisibility, such as Harry Potter's cloak, might be truly possible.

    Inspiring the new research is a type of material known as "metamaterial." Metamaterials have special properties because they are built with internal structures small enough to interact with light or other radiation. This allows scientists to build devices that can do things, such as bending light, in unique ways.

    Two separate teams of researchers have come up with theories on ways to use experimental metamaterials to cloak an object and hide it from visible light, infrared light, microwaves and perhaps even sonar probes.

    "Imagine a situation where a medium guides light around a hole in it," Ulf Leonhardt, a physicist of Britain's University of St. Andrews, reported in the journal Science.

    The light rays end up behind the object as if they had traveled in a straight line.

    "Any object placed in the hole would be hidden from sight. The medium would create the ultimate optical illusion: invisibility," Leonhardt wrote. "Such devices may be possible. The method developed here can be also applied to escape detection by other electromagnetic waves or sound."

    In this new theory, which is from that used on modern "stealth" bombers, which bounce radar off their surfaces so they cannot be seen, an object would be encased in a shell of metamaterials and they would create an illusion akin to a mirage, said David Schurig of Duke University in North Carolina, who worked on a second report, which also appears in the latest Science journal.

    "Think of space as a woven cloth," Schurig said. "Imagine making a hole in the cloth by inserting a pointed object between the threads without tearing them."

    The light, or microwaves, or radar would travel along the threads of the cloth, ending up behind the object without having touched it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 May 06 - 11:26 AM

Go outside and play, Rapaire and Amos. It's a nice day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 29 May 06 - 09:45 AM

I've already explained all that! Geez, don't you guys ever read? I searched out The Truth at great cost and terror to myself to publish The Truth but no, nobody believes me, nobody WANTS The Truth today!

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! Amos and everybody is being mean to me!! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!! Make 'em be nice, Mom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 06 - 05:25 PM

Well, perhaps it did, LH, but if it was a dinosaur that carried and laid the egg, why did it produce a chicken?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 06 - 04:32 PM

Why publish something that is so painfully obvious as that the egg came before the chicken?

For christ's sake, there were eggs around for millions of years before chickens every walked on this planet. The chicken and the various other birds were apparently ancestors of the dinosaurs, who were themselves ancestors of primitive amphibians, who were themselves ancestors of primitive fish, etc.....

The EGG came first!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 06 - 04:23 PM

That may be the answer, MM, but as written it is incomprehensible!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 May 06 - 06:39 AM

12505.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 06 - 01:48 AM

Well, I got 12500; so flamenco ted did NOT come first. Anyway, I am glad you all were so astute, but how come you didn't publish?




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 06 - 09:17 PM

I agree with Little Hawk. I figured this one out ages ago. A little critical thinking is all it takes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 27 May 06 - 08:03 PM

Neither came first. One day, long ago, a little adult dinosaur poked his head out of his hole and said to himself, "Well, I think I'll evolve into a chicken today." This was a noble and worthy goal, so he climbed out of his hole, closed his eyes, and concentrated very, very hard on becoming a chicken.

Suddenly, his scales enlongated and POOF! suddenly they were feathers! His nasty little teeth and lips became pointed and hard and became a beak. He knew he was halfway to becoming the Pride of KFC!

However, muttering to himself like he'd been doing had attracted the attention of a prowling Allosaurus, which ate him as a snack on her way to the rotting carcass of an Apatosaurus.

What we call "chickens" are actually miniature polled elk. What we call "eggs" are actually seperate creatures which appear spontaneously under miniature polled elk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 May 06 - 07:51 PM

Oh, man...I figured that one out decades ago. Of course the egg came first! Where have these people been?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 06 - 07:48 PM

Well, Shatnerize this amigo: Western scientists (well, one guy in England) have finally solved the ancient puzzle about whether the chicken or the egg came first.

This is indeed history of a Shatnerian magnitude.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 May 06 - 05:08 PM

Strange. I have the feeling that Shatnerization is looming up, just around the corner.

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

-- William Butler Yeats, January 1919


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 May 06 - 04:11 PM

What a terrific idea! You ought to start a nationwide exercise program and become famous, like Jane Fonda or Raquel Welch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 06 - 04:08 PM

It's 41.4 F here and raining. No grass cutting, no porch sitting either. And guests coming....

Stilly, why not let the rotation of the Earth work for you? Tie the dogs outside facing the direction opposite the rotation of the Earth. They'd have to trot to stay in one place, like they were on a treadmill.

It's great ideas like that that got me into management!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 May 06 - 03:38 PM

I encountered a toad today while mowing the front lawn. Fortunately, he hopped away from the mower this time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 06 - 12:17 PM

Naw, this is a toad I can vouch for. He's lived here for years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 06 - 12:09 PM

If that yellow toad is still there the next time, it's a freds for sure.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 06 - 11:37 AM

Mom's gonna get tired of hearing about my walking dogs, but we've been out for yet another walk as the earth turns and the light comes and goes. . . everyone else must have enough money to go out and do something away from home for this long weekend. Me, I'm digging up my front flower beds. I'm going to seed in some sunflowers and zinnias in those beds next to the limestone on the front of my house. Mom, you'll sigh with pleasure when you see these flowers out there later this summer. (It has to be later because I'm too cheap to go buy bedding plants and seeds seem to do better in the long run anyway).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 06 - 01:12 AM

Took the dogs for a walk this evening when it cooled down, and there weren't any freds or danny boys in sight--or hearing.

Only a yellow toad on the porch. If that's a fred, it is a very clever disguise. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 May 06 - 06:13 PM

. . .what Amos said. I knew it was Rustic even without her cookie.

Hot long day here, at the end of a long hot week. So glad for three days to kick back with a beer and a good movie or two go dig up the flower beds that have been crying out for attention all spring. [sigh] Freds'll have to come back another day. No time for language lessons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 06 - 09:43 AM

The night is musk and misty, Rustic
Magic made from musty passage,
Mirrored memes insistent, marking
All the moments of your memory.

Musky, misty, Rustic mumbling
Makes the evening daring, laughing
And the menial melt with passing
Into light from murkly darkening.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 06 - 09:25 AM

Well, freds, any group that thinks it is all right to go around blifferating planets has got to be nutso in my book -- especially if you are doing it to imitate 1940's era Imperialist Japanese rhetoric of the most superifical sort.

That's the sort of things only criminals do, here. Even if we sometimes elect them.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 26 May 06 - 09:07 AM

Your language and alphabet is odd. We will Correct that for you. We meant the planet "Dern" of course. Your pronunciation is also odd, and that too will be Corrected. Dern used to lie in the Greater Magellanic Cloud. That too will be Corrected.

Your friends,
Danny Boy
uberfred


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 26 May 06 - 01:38 AM

My fingers stop at the keys,
oh hell they do
that last post was written by me:::
S.- the Rustical Rebelish of the Northern plains and fields of the Upper Hemisphere toward the greater lakes of the floating planet known as Earth.

With love,
Rustic


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 26 May 06 - 01:30 AM

Is the love of a cigarette to be compared with the love of an old long life lover?
I dunno-But let me take a crack at it::;
A cigarette will fuck with my lungs, a life long lover will just fuck with me.
A cigarette will feel good in my fingers, a life long lover makes my fingers feel::something um:: pulsating?
A cigarette makes me cough,, a life long lover wants me to gag:::(try a dick a day, makes the gags go away)
((Stop-That was not meant to be read by anyone that thinks it's an apple-stop))
A cigarette makes me feel like I have had an experience with the goddess of fire
A life long lover makes me wish I had an experience with the goddess of fire.
I am done:: I am not sorry:: I have had it up to my cigarette with any life long habit.


.Try not to take this too sexual, but rather a-sexual


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 06 - 07:26 PM

HAHAHAHAHA. Both those freds is wuss liars than W!!

Tern is the planet that completely outfoxed Mickey Mouse and the Empire of Disneyites, back in the days of the Mudcat Enterprise. The notion that a bunch of pseudopodal pinko wet-heads like freds could outdo the Elders of Tern is ... well, it's... it's to LAUGH!!! HAHAHAHAHA!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 25 May 06 - 05:45 PM

We are Danny Boy, the new uberfred. We have within us the genetic knowledge of all freds. We come to you in peace, to bring the New Cosmic Order. We call it the Greater Cosmic Co-Prosperity Sphere. The NCO will bring you prosperity and peace. Join or like the former planet Tern (mentioned earlier) you will be blifferated.

Thank you.

Danny Boy
uberfred


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 06 - 05:06 PM

I dunno -- there are a couple of small rogue systems in there, one of which houses a planet named Tern which has been known in the past to be disruptive to Cosmic Order, so that night have something to do with it. Buncha treehuggers.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 May 06 - 02:39 PM

Scout Weasels?! Please explain, or make up something up...


BWL, how did you know? Little Hawk was the one in the green skirt and spike heels.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 06 - 01:24 PM

Actually, the Large Magellanic Cluster was tested and found wanting during the Third "Operation Candidate Sites Survey for System Headquarters (CSSSH). I think it was because we lost too many scout vessels in there, for reasons still not clear.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 May 06 - 09:54 AM

She's out chasing the band truck from North Crowley High School. We saw it last night, like it was slow motion. . . well, it WAS slow motion, come to think about it, because the street was full of people and the truck was trying to back into the convention center loading dock and Gluon wanted the truck to go the other way. I think she finally accomplished that, but didn't see it because we were already down at Denny's ordering a late-night breakfast for my starving son (who didn't eat before heading down to the graduation).

It isn't Haines or FoTL--it's Jockey, near as I can tell when I do the laundry. He switched from briefs to boxers last year. I think it's because the hold up his pants better when he lets them slouch (even though he always has them neatly in place when I drop him off at school in the morning--amazing how that works!)


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