Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafebrownie

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 17 Mar 15 - 09:13 AM
Ebbie 17 Mar 15 - 12:31 AM
Amos 16 Mar 15 - 11:34 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Mar 15 - 09:04 PM
Rapparee 16 Mar 15 - 08:10 PM
Rapparee 16 Mar 15 - 08:06 PM
Acme 16 Mar 15 - 08:02 PM
gnu 16 Mar 15 - 11:50 AM
Amos 16 Mar 15 - 11:38 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Mar 15 - 11:14 AM
Ebbie 16 Mar 15 - 02:24 AM
Acme 15 Mar 15 - 10:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Mar 15 - 08:57 PM
Rapparee 15 Mar 15 - 04:53 PM
gnu 15 Mar 15 - 03:45 PM
Ebbie 15 Mar 15 - 01:11 PM
gnu 15 Mar 15 - 01:10 PM
Amos 15 Mar 15 - 12:59 PM
gnu 15 Mar 15 - 11:38 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Mar 15 - 07:23 AM
gnu 14 Mar 15 - 08:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Mar 15 - 08:50 PM
Rapparee 14 Mar 15 - 09:11 AM
Amos 14 Mar 15 - 12:45 AM
Acme 13 Mar 15 - 10:59 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 13 Mar 15 - 10:54 PM
Rapparee 13 Mar 15 - 08:03 PM
Rapparee 13 Mar 15 - 05:20 PM
GUEST,gnu... where is my cookie? 13 Mar 15 - 03:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Mar 15 - 12:49 PM
Acme 13 Mar 15 - 11:58 AM
Rapparee 13 Mar 15 - 08:48 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Mar 15 - 06:37 AM
GUEST,Amos 13 Mar 15 - 01:18 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Mar 15 - 05:11 PM
Rapparee 12 Mar 15 - 01:52 PM
gnu 12 Mar 15 - 09:17 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Mar 15 - 06:07 AM
Amos 11 Mar 15 - 10:02 PM
Amos 11 Mar 15 - 09:51 PM
gnu 11 Mar 15 - 07:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Mar 15 - 06:45 PM
gnu 11 Mar 15 - 05:36 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 11 Mar 15 - 04:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Mar 15 - 02:04 PM
Amos 11 Mar 15 - 01:23 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 15 - 08:02 AM
gnu 11 Mar 15 - 05:03 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Mar 15 - 12:00 AM
Acme 10 Mar 15 - 10:53 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 09:13 AM

Yes, Amos, there are no extra virgins in Italy. There are also no extra virgins in Idaho, Nebraska, or North Dakota. All the extra virgins are purportedly being housed in an undisclosed location within shouting-but-not-spitting-distance of Greenville. Since there are at least thirty-five Greenvilles in the US and since shouting-but-not-spitting-distance is a relatively nebulous and undefined term, those fuckers non-fuckers could be damned near anywhere. Except New Orleans. Virginity, at least beyond age twelve, is rumored to be a criminal offense in The Big Easy. If you want to find virgins in Louisiana, you need to go to Houma. They reportedly have a few, but no extra ones.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 17 Mar 15 - 12:31 AM

Whatcha doin' in Wmsburg, Rap? I spent some time there upon a time.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 15 - 11:34 PM

It
s a sham anyway. I have it on good authority that there are NO extra virgins in Italy. It;s some kind of PR stunt to offset the wave of attention being garnered by the Muslims, I reckon.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Mar 15 - 09:04 PM

Mom! When did foodies start referring to extra virgin olive oil as "EVOO"? I was walking through the store the other day and saw an "EVOO Bottle" and had no idea what in the hell they were talking about. Took thirty seconds to decipher it. Why didn't they ask my permission to coin yet another ridiculous and unnecessary acronym? Like it's so damned hard to say "olive oil" that it has to be shortened. I mean the "extra virgin" part pretty much goes without saying if you're a foodie. They'd rather cut off a finger than use regular olive oil.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 15 - 08:10 PM

Here.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Mar 15 - 08:06 PM

77F here tomorrow.

Mind you, I'm in Billysburg, VA.

Ebbie, it IS rude. But it's better then it used to be, with people flinging guns at each other. Why, people could have had a eye put out or something!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Mar 15 - 08:02 PM

I'm still knocking down the weeds in the back yard. I took a break when I flooded the mower motor.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Mar 15 - 11:50 AM

Got the drift in front of Mum's front room window knocked down so she can see out. Now she can see the roadside snowbank and the top of the house across the street.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 15 - 11:38 AM

We of the Sane Corner are pleased to verify your report of Spring. The first rattlesnake bite of the season was reported this week, at Dog Beach, and the rattlesnake died/


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Mar 15 - 11:14 AM

It's SPRING here on the Gulf Coast! I love it! But I can do without the mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful shit. Anyone who thinks mud is luscious and puddles are wonderful has never driven a white car down my unpaved driveway after a prolonged rain.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Mar 15 - 02:24 AM

So they grab each other's guns? That is just rude.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Mar 15 - 10:01 PM

If you weaken during your storm confinement and click on that earworm, you'll find it is of the highest quality, an Ed McCurdy Original® earworm. It might give you something to do while you're stuck in the house.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Mar 15 - 08:57 PM

If it's true, as some physicists have postulated, that there are at least nine dimensions, then our universe of three dimensions plus time is dimensionally challenged. Are there special classes in which we can enroll our universe to bring it up to speed? And where does one get certified to teach remedial education for universes? The University of The Orion Nebula?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 15 - 04:53 PM

Ebbie, these days the sheriff or marshal or brothel inspector walks up to the baddie, grabs his gun, and throws it away. The blackhat grabs the goody's gun and throws it away. This goes on until one of the guns breaks and whoever owns that gun loses.

Not at all like the old days, described in that traditional Western song.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Mar 15 - 03:45 PM

Buddy b'y. She's stove in here. Blowin a piece and snowin two. Nere movin outside a tha house cept ta scuff off in fronna Mum's back door on the side of her house that faces where a Nor'easter lays it's ugly egg every hour or so eh. Mine's on tha back and up at bridge level so she blows clean.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 Mar 15 - 01:11 PM

Rap, thanks for the idea - and the visual - of gun flinging.

I imagine one would hear the rattling and clanking for blocks around of the *real* bad guys.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Mar 15 - 01:10 PM

Now, iffin yer talkin yer trajectory, I'd say yer Rap is the buzz. That there fellah knows about gravity and windage n such eh? Why, he could shoot the nuts off a flea (Fleas got nuts? Never thought about that.) on a megajump at a thousand yards with a .177 cal single pump air-spring break in a stiff wind. Well, that's according to what he posts eh? Well, kinda. I am just assuming.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Mar 15 - 12:59 PM

It also depends on what you have lately chewed and/or swallowed. Consider the difference between sucking on a freeze-dried alum lozenge and a moist ripe strawberry, blonde, on your spitting distance.

Think too on this interesting measurement: spitting distance varies with the square of linear distance from a spouse, and with the cube of linear distance from a spouse's mater, or (Dx (MIL))^3


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Mar 15 - 11:38 AM

Me holes are all snowed in. She's a NOR'EASTER me zon, me zon. I'd say we're getting a good 16" outta this one. Winds whippin up drifts and expected ta give er some good at and after the sun's apogee. Oh crap! That's now. I'd better go scuff off er in fronna Mum's back door. If the wind blows me awa


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Mar 15 - 07:23 AM

By the way, I hereby declare this post, whatever its number, to be within spitting distance of 52,000. Subsequent posts shall be numbered "spitting distance minus one" etc. Or "spitting distance plus one" etc. It sort of depends on your perspective and whether you prefer entering the rabbit hole from the north entrance or the south entrance, or whatever other entrances rabbit holes have in the universe you choose to inhabit.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Mar 15 - 08:59 PM

Me too. It's a red flag. No way I can open it. I have enough worms to deal with without opening another can.

Hmmm... who cans worms anyway? Ear what I'm saying?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Mar 15 - 08:50 PM

Sorry, but I find I must refrain from opening any link labeled "earworm". It might be totally innocuous, but it also might be Chongo singing "It's a Small World After All".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 15 - 09:11 AM

There's a chorus I just wrote. It goes like this:

Oh, that Blueberry Stone. Oh, that Blueberry Stone.
Oh, that Blueberry Stone. Oh, that Blueberry Stone.
Oh, that Blueberry Stone. Oh, that Blueberry Stone.
Oh, that Blueberry Stone. Oh, that Blueberry Stone.

You sing that until you get sick of it or until your audience leaves, whichever comes first.

Chong, you were never a REAL gun-flinger.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 15 - 12:45 AM

One of my favorites of all time. I learned it from a working cowhand up in the Tetons one summer. He also taught me to say things "She'll never guess I stopped to put my pecker in mah hand, will she?".

A sun-fishing son-of-agun, all right.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 15 - 10:59 PM

One of the most delightful, yet persistent earworms that was ever written by man.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 13 Mar 15 - 10:54 PM

I had no idea you was that talented, Rap. Pretty good poem! It don't make much sense to throw yer guns at people when you can still throw lead with 'em, but I guess you was goin' for laughs, right? Well, like I said, pretty good...

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Mar 15 - 08:03 PM

Old Blueberry Stone
(Apologies to Curly Fletcher)
NOTE: There ain't no chorus!

I was hangin' 'round town just a-wastin' my time,
Nothin' to spend, not even a dime
When a feller steps up and he says, "I suppose
You're a gunslingin' man by the looks of your clothes."
"You guessed me right, and a good one," I claim,
"Do you happen to have any gunslingers to tame?"
He says, "I've got one and a bad one at that;
You kin see he's a bad one cuz he wears a black hat."

I gets all excited and I ask what he pays
To gunsling for him for a couple of days.
He offers me ten, I says, "I'm your man,
For there's no gun ever made that I couldn't fan;
He says, "Get your saddle, ya big old Walloon."
We gets into his buckboard and rode to the saloon.

Well, standin' outside and him all alone,
Was an ugly old fella named Blueberry Stone.
His legs were splayed and he had pigeon toes,
Little pig eyes and a big Roman nose.
His ears were all pierced from the top to the tip,
And six forty-fives a-ridin' his hips,
He's ugly and old, and he swallers his chaw,
You can see with one eye he's a reg'lar outlaw.

Well I puts on my guns and likewise my boots,
And I says, "Hey, Blueberry, you're an ugly galoot!"
I knew him on sight, I'd dealty with him before,
I was powerful glad for my twin forty-fours,
Likewise my forty-fives, and my small twenty-two,
Three derringer guns, and my old thirty-two,
And the folks they all scattered to left and to right
Cuz no one in their right mind likes any gun fight.

He went for for his guns without even "My Lands!"
And before you could spit he had two in his hands
He hits me in hat and right near my left boot
While I was a-standin' there countin' my loot
But I slaps my leather while watchin' my step
For I'm still determined on buildin' a rep.
I puts one in his shoulder and one in the groin,
Yes, I'm slappin' leather and feelin' just fine.

Well, I dodge to the right and I dodge to the left
Cuz I don't want to leave all my kinfolk bereft.
I wheel and I turn and he does the same,
We both know the rules of the gunslingin' game
Then he runs out of guns to grab and to throw
But I've still got one and it's then that he knows
That at this gun flingin' he's sure met his match
And I throws it just like we're some kids playin' catch.

Well, I've known many gun flingers though out my life,
Some of 'em single and some with a wife,
But Blueberry Stone he was one of the best
He'd grab and he'd throw and outdo the rest,
But one thing I've learned as I've lived my long life
I can out-throw anyone with my Colt forty-five!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Mar 15 - 05:20 PM

Back when I went to Basic Combat Training with the US Army I weighed in at 72 pounds and, at 4'8", was a puny weakling. Bigger guys were always kicking sand in my face and stealing my Coca-Cola as well as my girlfriend. Six months later, after good Army chow and training, I stood 6'2" and weighed 200 pounds, all muscle (except my brain). And the next time someone kicked sand in my face I taught him who was boss!

He was -- I'm not going to get hurt if I can avoid it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,gnu... where is my cookie?
Date: 13 Mar 15 - 03:59 PM

Best chicken stew yet. And I just made it to 174# this morning! Sigh. This is gonna be a rough Friday night. To stew or not to stew, that is the diet. Whether tis nobler to pig out or suffer the slings and arrows of the scales on the morrow... alas... I am... fuck it... I am piggin out! I'll lose the weight shovelling on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.

Jaysus!!! this is tasty!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Mar 15 - 12:49 PM

I hear one of these produces excellent made-up monkey mulch. It'll hurl hunks of pseudonymous simian further than said simian can fling feces.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 15 - 11:58 AM

Why waste it? Put pieces in your crab traps or use it for fishing bait. If you don't expect to be fishing any time soon disposal by burial in the compost also works, but shredded is better than intact.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Mar 15 - 08:48 AM

Or grind them up and don't eat at McDonald's for a while?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Mar 15 - 06:37 AM

I suppose disposing of a deceased simian hallucination in both the Chicago River and Lake Michigan would require at least a modicum of cutting, slicing, sawing, hacking, chopping and severing. That's definitely a good thing. But, hey, If you're going to go through all that cutting, slicing, sawing, hacking, chopping and severing, why not just cut, slice, saw, hack, chop and sever into smaller pieces, take them down to Millennium Park, and feed them to the pigeons?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 13 Mar 15 - 01:18 AM

I want to choose BOTH!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Mar 15 - 05:11 PM

Personally, I would hope the next time Chongo appears it is in an ill-fated role. Good guy, bad guy, innocent bystander, it doesn't really matter as long as someone shoots the fleabitten hallucination, ties a cinder block to its ankles, and throws it into either The Chicago River or Lake Michigan. Take your pick.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 15 - 01:52 PM

One would hope that the next time "Chongo" appears s/he will have improved his/her posts, grammar, vocabulary, and intellect.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Mar 15 - 09:17 AM

I have, with the aid of better weather, been able to clear ALL of the ice out of Mum's driveway as of yesterday afternoon. She's been able to walk in her driveway for two days as she doesn't go further than the sidewalk, which was heavily iced over. And, she will be able to do same for today through Saturday. Sunday? Different story. I knew it would come soon... last quarter moon tomorrow.

I like the poem, A.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Mar 15 - 06:07 AM

There's no need for FTL travel. We already have WTF travel, which is at least as fast and requires no heavy equipment. To experience WTF travel, one need only drink to the point of oblivion, whereupon one will instantaneously be transported to a totally different place where one will awaken asking, "Where the fuck am I and what the fuck am I doing here?"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 15 - 10:02 PM

You may speak of the awful dark black holes in space,
And the grip of their terrible suction.
You may sing of a nova burning flesh from your face
And the Big Bang's incredible ruction.
You may swoon about starlight and flinch from the glare
You may shake at the scope of the Great Everywhere
But the one thing that surely will raise up your hair
Is the prospect of alien abduction.

For surely a real man would rather eat space
Or die in a sun's boiling suction
OR be torn inside out by the vacuum, erased
By a sun-flares amazing induction.
Oh, he'd rather be torched by a comet in passing
Or boiled by far Venus' torrid out-gassing
Than think of the fate of his poor human ass in
The event of an alien abduction.

Flash Annikin Gordon
Ditties from Betelgeuse
Drabwit and Luckluster, Luna City, 2056


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 15 - 09:51 PM

Dear Gawd, Gnuzer, what changed?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Mar 15 - 07:33 PM

Oh, I could manage it. But, I'm a lady, I am.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 15 - 06:45 PM

If the towns of Nantucket and Pawtucket had been named something else, it would be damned near impossible to have a limerick end with "suck it" or "fuck it".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Mar 15 - 05:36 PM

FTL travel? I could go for that. Pop over and help shovel out my utility trailer would ya? I'll pop down to the NB Liquor and grab some beers. Shouldn't take long.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 11 Mar 15 - 04:57 PM

I know that every now and then I gotta step in here and drop a few choice words of wisdom to keep you hapless bozos on the straight and narrow. So here I am. What I got to say is brief. Shape up! Time is wastin', see? When I come back, maybe in a few days if yer lucky, I expect to see a major improvement in yer posts, yer attitude, and yer intelligence. And no excuses!

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 15 - 02:04 PM

My needs are simple. I do not want time travel or FTL travel or a beam-me-up-Scotty transporter. I want a shrubbery.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 15 - 01:23 PM

What I want is time travel. When I want it doesn't matter.

I also want FTL travel, and I want it here and now, whichever comes first.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 15 - 08:02 AM

Tricycles, well, I left mine behind when I got a bicycle. A black one, later painted red. But sometimes I wish I'd never left the old tricycle behind.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Mar 15 - 05:03 AM

Nice ride!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 15 - 12:00 AM

On second thought, screw the pogo stick universe. I'll do the tricycle universe if I can model it on this most decidedly non-red tricycle.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Mar 15 - 10:53 PM

BWL, I HAD A GREEN TRIKE when I was a kid. In particular, I broke my leg (falling off our back yard swingset) in second grade. Three months in a full-length leg cast and my parents wanted me to get exercise, so they bought me a big green trike. I rode that sucker everywhere. It seems to have worked - though my now-ex tells me I have a funny gait. I managed to climb mountains for several years before I moved away from the Pacific NW. And I'm working on that "funny gait" - taking belly dance classes. Boy, do those change your gait!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 21 August 6:12 PM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.