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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

John Hardly 06 Jul 05 - 07:37 AM
Bunnahabhain 06 Jul 05 - 07:32 AM
Acme 06 Jul 05 - 01:15 AM
Amos 06 Jul 05 - 12:17 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Jul 05 - 09:04 PM
Amos 05 Jul 05 - 08:56 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Jul 05 - 08:41 PM
Rapparee 05 Jul 05 - 06:37 PM
GUEST,MMario 05 Jul 05 - 02:06 PM
Rapparee 05 Jul 05 - 01:56 PM
Rapparee 05 Jul 05 - 11:49 AM
GUEST,MMario 05 Jul 05 - 11:42 AM
Rapparee 05 Jul 05 - 11:29 AM
Rapparee 05 Jul 05 - 09:14 AM
Acme 04 Jul 05 - 11:13 PM
John Hardly 04 Jul 05 - 02:58 PM
Rustic Rebel 04 Jul 05 - 02:16 AM
JennyO 04 Jul 05 - 12:41 AM
Amos 03 Jul 05 - 05:06 PM
Acme 03 Jul 05 - 04:48 PM
Amos 03 Jul 05 - 03:29 PM
Acme 03 Jul 05 - 01:19 PM
Amos 03 Jul 05 - 01:19 PM
Amos 03 Jul 05 - 09:33 AM
Acme 03 Jul 05 - 01:05 AM
Amos 03 Jul 05 - 01:02 AM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage 02 Jul 05 - 01:24 PM
Amos 02 Jul 05 - 12:25 PM
Amos 02 Jul 05 - 11:07 AM
Acme 02 Jul 05 - 10:46 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 05 - 09:17 AM
Rustic Rebel 02 Jul 05 - 03:41 AM
Rustic Rebel 02 Jul 05 - 03:22 AM
Rustic Rebel 02 Jul 05 - 03:18 AM
Rustic Rebel 02 Jul 05 - 03:04 AM
Acme 02 Jul 05 - 02:04 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 01 Jul 05 - 11:16 AM
GUEST 01 Jul 05 - 09:43 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 01 Jul 05 - 09:16 AM
GUEST 01 Jul 05 - 08:52 AM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage 01 Jul 05 - 01:59 AM
GUEST,Amos 30 Jun 05 - 09:13 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 30 Jun 05 - 04:34 PM
GUEST,Amos 30 Jun 05 - 04:31 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jun 05 - 04:27 PM
GUEST,MMario 30 Jun 05 - 02:15 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 30 Jun 05 - 01:44 PM
GUEST 30 Jun 05 - 01:22 PM
GUEST,Amos 30 Jun 05 - 01:15 PM
Acme 30 Jun 05 - 08:42 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 07:37 AM

FROM: National Aeronautics and Space Administration
Houston TX, USA

TO: Marina Bai
Russia

Dear Ms. Bai,

We are so sorry. Apparently our probe came too close to Uranus.

Sincerely,

The good folks at NASA


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 07:32 AM

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I wander off to Slovenia for a week or so, and the whole place goes weird.

And will someone please tell Gluon only to mess with the atmosphere somewhere else. Dancing on a stage, on steel pontoons, in the middle of the River Drava is nice, the stage has a certain livley bounce. Doing so whilst there are thunderstorms approaching is more interesting...
We're the excessivly white ones. The tartan is a slight giveaway as well.

Bunnahabhain. ( who's really very sorry about neglecting MOAB for so long )


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 01:15 AM

Sorry about the slippage, Rapaire. They're building a new subdivision next to my neighborhood in the village and that evidently involves cutting the phone cable once a week. That reduces efficiency of the DSL connection. Good thing you caught her when you did!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 12:17 AM

BEE DUBYA ELL!!!! YOU ARE A NUTCASE!!!!!!!

But I love ya fer it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 09:04 PM

"Star Warps" is an anagram for "Ratspraw" which is Skooby-Doo-eese for "Catspaw".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 08:56 PM

Yeah, Rap! Don't you go threatening me because the Server of All Mothers was down instead of being Beauty for a while.

As for Star Warps, I think we should write the filmscript.

A long. long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, a mission was begun by a genius so evil as to beggar the imagination of lesser mortals, and to lessen the imagination of mortal beggars...

In the hands of one cruel, distorted mind, lay the secrets of Deformation of Horoscopic Fields. With this secret, he intended to ruin the Horoscopes of every living being in the Known Universe. Warp their personalities, their fates, twist their karma like pretzel dough, and flatten their Cosmic Destinies like so many road-apples on an interstate.

A small band of desperate Fatalists knew they had to do something to stop this Karmic slaughter.

This is their tale......


S T A R    W A R P S


                                                         

The Next Generation


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 08:41 PM

I'm here, Mom! Every time I've tried to get to your place for the last few days the bridge has been washed out. Good to see that some of the kids have been able to get through.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 06:37 PM

Horoscope deformation, also called "star warping," is a big problem in Russia and Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 02:06 PM

"deform her horoscope"? since when have *COMETS* been included in horoscopes? Hell - a good Classic horoscope doen't even include Uranus, neptune or pluto!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 01:56 PM

This doesn't deserve a thread of its own (I think), but it certainly belongs to MOAB!

MOSCOW (AP) -- NASA's mission that sent a space probe smashing into a comet raised more than cosmic dust - it also brought a lawsuit from a Russian astrologer.

Marina Bai has sued the U.S. space agency, claiming the Deep Impact probe that punched a crater into the comet Tempel 1 late Sunday "ruins the natural balance of forces in the universe," the newspaper Izvestia reported Tuesday. A Moscow court has postponed hearings on the case until late July, the paper said....

Bai is seeking damages totaling $300 million - the approximate equivalent of the mission's cost - for her "moral sufferings," Izvestia said, citing her lawyer Alexander Molokhov. She earlier told the paper that the experiment would "deform her horoscope."

NASA representatives in Russia could not be reached for comment on the case.


I'm assuming that the NASA reps can't catch their breath from their laughter....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 11:49 AM

I think that Mom is too well bred to allow spam. The very idea! And from those to who she hasn't been properly introduced as well!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 11:42 AM

Poor Mom - the spammer has been neglecting her as well! Shame, really - as possibly loading the entire MOAB would break the spambot!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 11:29 AM

Wait, wait, I know!

Didcha hear about the quark who went to a beauty shop and ended up with its hair down instead of on top?

Yuk, yuk -- I got a million of 'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 09:14 AM

I gotta go to Sandie Ayego and whup Amos. I come in here through the cellar window via the septic tank no less, and find that nobody's posted to posted to poor old Mom since yesterday! And her on the third step from the bottom, too!

And you all goin' on about how if a Beauty's on top, she's gettin' down. Have you no shame? Have you no sense of embarassment? Have you no feeling for the privacy of others? What's it to you if Beauty wants a little variety in life? As long as it's between consenting adult quarks why should you care?

Sheesh. I gotta do everything around here. What the hecker they gonna do when I tred the Chilkoot Trail (so to speak) later this month? Poor old Mom could tumble down to the basement and nobody'd care; just go on about what they saw peeking in some poor lovesick quark's windows. Frankly, I'm surprised the lot of you aren't in jail (or gaol) and serve you right, too!






Do they have photos or anything?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Jul 05 - 11:13 PM

Good for you, John! Though for some Mudcatters the motto "better never than late" might apply, I'm sure for you it is not the case.

You DID read the 8312 posts prior to yours, didn't you, to get the drift of this place?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 04 Jul 05 - 02:58 PM

8313 posts and none of them mine. Must correct now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 04 Jul 05 - 02:16 AM

A HORSE OF A DIFFERENT COLOR IS REALLY JUST A HORSE OF A COLOR THAT'S DIFFERENT.....hOW'S THAT FOR PROFOUND? oh shit>hey what"s up with this computer?i have to manual it to type non_boldMUST SHUT DOWN BUT BEFOre i do happy fourth of july to my friends and i love ya all?take it easy and get it easier>>sUSIE.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 04 Jul 05 - 12:41 AM

No problem getting 'down' from these horses then, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jul 05 - 05:06 PM

Them's pretty high horses indeed. Hard to get off such a high horse, once up on one, I would imagine. But Mom's always had a pretty high horse, anyway, so maybe she'll just take to them like a duck to water. Eider way is okay with me.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jul 05 - 04:48 PM

I think so!

Horsefeathers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jul 05 - 03:29 PM

Oh, okay then. I'll save a goose for ya for next time I'm coming through DFW. ;>)

On the other hand, we should inspire Mom to pursue your version -- she's been hanging around the down crowd far too much these last couple of days! :D Maybe she would be better able to stay high on horsefeathers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jul 05 - 01:19 PM

Just offering another reading on the avian material, Amos--and one much more suited to the venue, I might add!

Damn, but it's hot out here, and it's only July 3. Another 3 months of hot weather. Yuck. My yard is crispy already, and I try to practice xeriscape!

See if Gluon will scramble the molecules in the atmosphere and bring a little rain, please.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jul 05 - 01:19 PM

Quarks may come, or go, or fade
And never reader move an eye
But in the wintery evening shade
Half-down the light our Mother lies;
Wherefore the sun? Wherefore the lark?
When MOAB lags, reasons are simple rage
Therefore, our eyes must leave the quark
And Mother raise back up the page.

Phineas Bloomscheiss
"Brutal Musings"
Octavius Gundermyer and Sons, Berlin, 1931


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jul 05 - 09:33 AM

Get down, m'a'am.

Or just sit down in beauty.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jul 05 - 01:05 AM

Horsefeathers!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jul 05 - 01:02 AM

Beauty quark==>top quark==>down quark, according to the cited physics article.

Geese produce down, which is used in stuffing anoraks. Apparently you can plumb beauty's depth, and work your way to the top, so why can't you goose down?

Therefore anoraks are draining the beauty of the world.

What's so hard to understand about that?

But I do think something should be done.

OK --= so maybe this is a bit too far-fetched. But, don't forget, I am working under Rapaire's mandate, not my own natural determination.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Jul 05 - 01:24 PM

Whew, but that was as incomprehensible as anything you've posted, and when you think about it, pseudo-clarity is a virtue when it comes to BS, don't you think?

Have you been wearing your ballcap a little too tight this week?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jul 05 - 12:25 PM

July 01, 2005
      
Physics researchers working at the High Energy Accelerator Research Organization (KEK) Laboratory in Japan have observed a new type of interaction among the most fundamental of particles, the quark. The scientists reported at the Symposium on Lepton-Photon Interactions at High Energies, June 30-July 5 in Uppsala, Sweden, that they had produced first evidence of a beauty quark converting to the lightest of quarks, the down quark.

"Observation of this very rare phenomenon allows us to study if this occurs only through the so-called penguin process (a two-step transition wherein the beauty quark momentarily transforms into the top quark that subsequently transforms into the down quark) as predicted by the standard theory, or through some hitherto unobserved way," said Leo Piilonen, Virginia Tech physics professor and a member of the Belle experiment's research team.




Beauty converts to down? Take a gander at that! Somebody goose me, I must be dreaming. I knew something was draining the beauty of the world, but I thought it was Time, not the anorak industry!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jul 05 - 11:07 AM

Yankee Fork? Just down from Rebel Nutpick?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jul 05 - 10:46 AM

Rap, I think you'd better swing by RR's place on the way. Help her get the scotch tape out of her hair this morning.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 05 - 09:17 AM

AMOS! AMOS! Lissen up, boy! I gotta go over to Yankee Fork country, so take care of Mom, yahear? You other guys too. Cuz iffen you don't, when I get back I'm agonna whup you one. Got that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 02 Jul 05 - 03:41 AM

kNOW hOW tO sPell cOMPUTER bUT tring to act the fOOOL ii sUppose. Remindes me of A dream I had the Other day/I had dream that I was suspended from a pair of susspenders..i yelled for help but the farmer who's suspenders I was suspended on told me to hush......cuz. no one was going to bring me okra and cornbread till i could recite the canadian national anthem...........That's when i knew I was fucked, but i sang a made up song and it went like this..........Oh c-eh-n-eh-d-eh Happy



FORGET THAT i WAS HERE EH......DAMN i MAY HAVE TO SHUT DOWN ANYWAY
i MIGHT BE rEADY TO bREAKAWAY FROM THIS COMPUTER THAT SEEMS TO BE AS FUCKED UP AS i AM..................


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 02 Jul 05 - 03:22 AM

bUNNINHABINN AND mARIO- yOU aRE    bEAUTIFUL tOO.


cAN NOT UNLOCK CAPS.............iN 'CUM'PUTER TORMOIL.........


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 02 Jul 05 - 03:18 AM

Now that was bullshit....the notes were supposedly supposed to be played in a higher key but in my reaLITY THEY WERE RIGHT IN SYNCH WITH THE FROGS. CAPS   HELP CANNOT UNLOCK CAPITOL LETTERS,,,,,,,,MALFUNCTION............ NEEDLESSSSSSSSS <,,>%&&&&# 3@0)0000-*75655233@@@@@@@@@@#$555555555555222%55323{po088880--SUYYyYSSYYLyur sSSURUWFDFNKAYF9TFJAJGJH*&^*8689666666664999999999999996


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 02 Jul 05 - 03:04 AM

Twisted

Stop-
Twisted in a straight and on the narrow

It really dosen't matter though,......... it's still twisted////////////
and the horn plays on, a melodey similar to Saint James Infirmiry and I am lying naked feeling the cold slab upon my colder torso and   humm..bad moon a risin'..........0


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jul 05 - 02:04 AM

Mom, we got locked out all afternoon and evening! I'm sorry you're looking so low! And here we were having a good time celebrating Amos' return. He's telling fish stories. You know about those.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 11:16 AM

The Bears are innerested in yer ketch in Illinois, too, specially iffen yer over the limit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 09:43 AM

Wal, the one who kept talking about fisihn' trips wasn't talkin' Illinois fishin'. He was talkin' Alaska fishin' up where the big bears are always innerested in yore ketch. That's mah story, an' Ah'm stickin' tp it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 09:16 AM

FISHING trips???? And you say you were in ILLINOIS???? Ha! Now the truth comes out! No self-respecting inhabitant of the Sucker State, male or female, would talk about going on a fishing trip! Deer huntin', duck huntin', juggin', trotlines, seinin', cottonseed cake bait, swappin' stink bait recipes, the bad points of various boats and pickups and combines, but not a fishing trip. Nobody in Illinois goes "fishing." They might go "fishin'", but never ever do they talk about prissy, pantywaist, San Diego-ish, "fishing."

And nobody in Illinois would have anything to do with warped electromagnetic anything! Them folks are all straight, God-fearing, Americans!

Now that I've exploded your story, tell us where you really were. Advising Bush? Bilking widows and orphans? A picnic? A week-long drunk? The Betty Ford Clinic? Helping medicate Tom Cruise? Hiding Cheney's body? Las Vegas? The poorhouse?

'Fess up, man! We won't think the worse of you, if that's possible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 08:52 AM

An entire coupe filled with steak! WOW!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jul 05 - 01:59 AM

Amos--try this for your next road trip:

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Texas is planning to do one
entitled, "Survivor - Texas Style". The contestants will all start in
Dallas, then drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down
to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Midland,
Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo.

From there they will go on to Abilene, Fort Worth and finally back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read:

"I'm Gay" "I Love the Dixie Chicks" "Boycott Beef" "I Voted for John Kerry"
"George Strait Sucks" "Hillary in 2008" and "I'm here to confiscate your gun."

The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 30 Jun 05 - 09:13 PM

Well I learned more about distorted electromagnetic fields and underground pipes, tunnels and cables than I had imagined I didn't know, but there you are. Yes, although it was 90+ in the cornfields, the company bought me a coupe of good steak dinners and the people, while cautious of adventuresome ideas such as ours here, were good and intelligent and communicative as long as you stayed in their sandbox. Fishing trips, sports, the merits of restaurants and barbecue methods, weather, and factors of business were all important.

Good thing I didn't bring my Temple of the Divine Curve PowerPoint slides with me... they woulda burst a vein just trying to assimilate the theory, never mind the practical material!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 30 Jun 05 - 04:34 PM

Had a whale of a time, though, didn't you? I'm sure that it wasn't a fluke either, or you'd be back here blubbering about who bad it was.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 30 Jun 05 - 04:31 PM

That would be Wered indeed, MM! I usually am more inclined to look for silver bullets than to fear them. You can stake your life on it.

I have never proposed a weir, nor intended a net, and any cetacean lifetime I have led has left me a thoroughly thwarted porpoise. I have never been an evil porpoise, though.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jun 05 - 04:27 PM

But of course I was spot on in saying that Amos' seminar would be held in or near Kankakee. It's a requirement. If the seminar had been held in Indiana it would have been in Kokomo. If it were held in Idaho it would have been in Kooskia. The aliens have a great fondness for towns with multiple "k"s in their names, and they always try to hold their mind-melds in them. It reminds them of their home planet of Karkakokia.   

Did you happen to see a Labrador retriever or something that bears a striking resemblance to either Heather Locklear or an overgrown stinkhorn fungus while you were there, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 30 Jun 05 - 02:15 PM

I dunno - I've long been suspicious of Amos' sympathies for the Dutch/Manatee plan to take over the world. Are you sure he isn't some rare breed of were-cetecean? Possibly a man-Lake dolphin hybrid - created when some dolphin fur trapper became too enamored of his prey?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 30 Jun 05 - 01:44 PM

No, no, Amos is NOT a wereporpoise or a wereporpoise or even a wereorca. He's a werehorse (equus wereii).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Jun 05 - 01:22 PM

Newborn dolphins and killer whales do not sleep for a whole month after birth, new research has revealed, and neither do their mothers, who stay awake to keep a close eye on their offspring.

The feat of wakefulness is remarkable given that rats die if forcibly denied sleep. And in humans, as any new parent will tell you, sleep deprivation is an exquisite form of torture.

The surprising sleeping patterns of captive killer whales - Orcinus orca - and bottlenose dolphins - Tursiops truncates - in the early months of life were observed by a team led by Jerome Siegel of the University of California at Los Angeles, US.

Unlike all animals previously studied, which maximise rest and sleep after birth to optimise healthy growth and development, the cetaceans actively avoided shut-eye. "The idea that sleep is essential for development of the brain and body is certainly challenged," says Siegel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 30 Jun 05 - 01:15 PM

Bold Rapaire, Good SRS, Dear Mario, Sweet Rumanci and Bright Rustic, you are all more than anyone could ask for as friends and thread-mates.

As for the brilliant BWL, his intuition bedazzles even the mystics. The truth is I was only a few miles from Kankakee, in the sleepy little farm-field town of Manteno. And in the edges of Menote is a 60 acre plot of grassy land which back int he 1930's was developed by the State into a huge, self sufficient mental institution, with lovely brick buildings and carefully tended rows of oak trees basking int he sleepy midwestern sunlight, far from the noiseo f the madding crowd, with everything modern psychiatric thinking (1930's sty;e) could offer the overburdened soul. A loony-bin with a campus bigger than Yale's, it had everything it needed to be self sufficient, a whole two story building in red brick just for the laundry driven by its own boiler room housed in a separate red brick building, another two-story red brick building for nothing but electro-convulsive therapy, and dozens more sprinkled about with little roads and sidewalks and shade trees carefully planned into place. I tell you it was the funny farm to end all funny farms, a Hoosier Cuckoo's Nest of the first order.

With the advent of placebos and strange-sounding psychoactive drugs, all this industrial plant for the management of social misfits became obsolete. Now, we just give them pills and Fox News and they act normal. It could be someone has moved the target, given the political atmosphere, but in any case the State closed the place down ten years back.

Some brilliant entrepreneur bought the whole campus for a dollar plus back taxes and is gradually renovating all these buildings and leasing them to companies as office space.

One of these is the home of Planet Undergound, where I conducted strange technical experiments all week, having to do NOT with brassieres but with the detection of electro-magnetic fields and the extrapolation of those detections into multi-dimensional perceptions of their sources. Similar to the Temple's research projects, but different, too.

Not wanting to attract any attention, I flew back to San Diego on coach, where I selected a seat on the aisle; the center seat was occupied by a woman who was large, large, and who naturally overflowed into half of my space. To avoid inappropriate cuddling, I tried to overflow into the aisle, where I was repeatedly and unmercifully rammed by high-speed passing flight attendants and clipped by passengers en-route to the loo. As the sun set in the West toward which we sped, I prayed for a full moon to work its magic on my form; if only I could become a horse, that would get me some space!! I could neigh and rampage and no-one would dare clip me or offer me stale graham crackers!

But alas, the moon did not rise that night, and I suffered in relative silence all the way to California, where I climbed into my own bed still possessed of my usual bipedal form, and slept the sleep of the throughly fed-up until morning.

Thank you all for taking care of Our Sainted Mother all these days, you did I wonderful job!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jun 05 - 08:42 AM

Sorry, but I ain't lying in no swamp with no leeches. Leave 'em to Humphrey Bogart. Frogs or toads (North American variety, not those monster cane toads they have down in Oz) are one thing. Leeches are another. You (or Amos) can come relax in my creek if you want. There are a few ducks back there, some turtles and varieties of fish, quite a few other birds, and some snakes. Mostly duck weed this time of year. But no leeches.


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