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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 02 Aug 04 - 10:54 AM
Amos 02 Aug 04 - 10:10 AM
Acme 02 Aug 04 - 01:24 AM
GUEST,freds 01 Aug 04 - 11:13 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 04 - 10:38 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 04 - 10:27 PM
GUEST,Sbs 01 Aug 04 - 10:10 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Aug 04 - 09:59 PM
khandu 01 Aug 04 - 08:33 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 04 - 02:54 PM
42 01 Aug 04 - 11:06 AM
Amos 01 Aug 04 - 11:04 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Aug 04 - 08:40 AM
Acme 01 Aug 04 - 02:15 AM
Amos 31 Jul 04 - 03:56 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 04 - 03:47 PM
Amos 31 Jul 04 - 01:21 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 04 - 12:59 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 04 - 12:53 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jul 04 - 10:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jul 04 - 10:31 PM
Amos 30 Jul 04 - 10:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jul 04 - 10:22 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 04 - 10:15 PM
khandu 30 Jul 04 - 10:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jul 04 - 07:47 PM
Amos 30 Jul 04 - 07:28 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 04 - 06:30 PM
Amos 30 Jul 04 - 04:43 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jul 04 - 04:37 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 04 - 04:25 PM
GUEST,MMario 30 Jul 04 - 01:02 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 04 - 12:59 PM
GUEST,MMario 30 Jul 04 - 12:32 PM
Amos 30 Jul 04 - 12:27 PM
GUEST,mmARIO 30 Jul 04 - 12:22 PM
Amos 30 Jul 04 - 12:19 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 04 - 09:11 AM
Amos 30 Jul 04 - 09:02 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jul 04 - 08:49 AM
GUEST,MMario 30 Jul 04 - 08:42 AM
GUEST 30 Jul 04 - 08:23 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jul 04 - 08:20 AM
Acme 30 Jul 04 - 01:43 AM
Acme 30 Jul 04 - 01:42 AM
Acme 30 Jul 04 - 01:42 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jul 04 - 12:20 AM
Amos 29 Jul 04 - 10:59 PM
GUEST,MMario 29 Jul 04 - 03:11 PM
Amos 29 Jul 04 - 03:07 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 04 - 10:54 AM

One of my favorites, Amos. Thought I'd share. The author is an active rancher and has written other excellent works.

(Surprise! It's not by The Great McGonigle OR Julia Moore! I went and got eddicated and got some taste, I did.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 04 - 10:10 AM

Before it slips away to the processing plant at the end of this infininte stream of BS< let mesay thanks to Rapaire for thet fine Cowboy Poem, jes' fine.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 04 - 01:24 AM

Awww. . . freds, you forgot to take along hisherits luggage. It was sitting there right beside himherit when you made the pickup. You probably even tripped over it in the process. Or were you ordered not to bring the belongings of hesheit? I predict hesheit will make such a fuss that there will be a trip back to the house just for the forbidden midden.

So[yo]nora, intergalactic travelers!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 01 Aug 04 - 11:13 PM

We have found the one you call Bubba Bubba. Sheithe was living in a desert part of your planet and is now in custody. Here is a picture of himither that was taken as itheshe gave himheritself into our custody. Naturally, we kept our purpose obscure to the picturetaker!

By the time you read this we will be many parsecs (we use your term here) away in the direction of the star you call "Cygnus." Bubba Bubba has caused us much trouble and cost, but we will not punish herheit as heitshe is only a few half-lives of radium old. We must forgive the young their foibles and wild oats, no?

We apologize for what happened to the city you called Seattle, but that sort of thing happens. You're all better off without all that coffee anyway.

A special note to the one called "Bee-Dubya-Ell:" you should be glad that Bubba Bubba never reached you. The pleasure, along with your DNA pattern and what passes for your brain, would have been hershisits. To obtain it involves puncturing directly into the braincase and, well, you'd call it sucking. Consider it sort of a brain hickey, but without any pleasure to you. Those who survive such a brain hickey usually degenerate into politics.

So, friends, farewell. We shall see you again, we are certain, since we do need protein now and then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 04 - 10:38 PM

WE NEVER RODE THE JUDITHS
For Ian Tyson

We never rode the Judiths when we were grey-wolf wild.
Never gathered Powder River, Palo Duro, or John Day.
No, we never rode the Judiths when their sirens preened and smiled.
And we'll never ride the Judiths before they carry us away.

Cowboys cut for sign on back trails to the days that used to be
Sorting, sifting through chilled ashes of the past.
Or focused on some distant star, out near eternity,
Always hoping that the next day will be better than the last.

Out somewhere in the future, where spring grass is growing tall,
We rosin up our hopes for bigger country, better pay.
But as the buckers on our buckles grow smooth-mouthed or trip and fall
We know tomorrow's draw ain't gonna throw no gifts our way.

And we never rode the Judiths when we were grey-wolf bold.
Never rode the Grande Ronde Canyon out north of Enterprise.
No we never rode the Judiths, and we know we're getting old
As old trails grow steeper, longer, right before our eyes.

My horses all are twenty-some. ..ain't no good ones coming on.
The deejays and the Nashville hands won't let "... Amazed" turn gold.
We're inclined to savor evening now. We usta favor dawn.
Seems we're not as scared of dyin' as we are of growing old.

I wish we'd a' rode the Judiths when we were grey-wolf wild.
And gathered Powder River, Palo Duro, and John Day.
But we never rode the Judiths when their sirens' songs beguiled
And we'll never ride the Judiths before they carry us away.

                                                   –Wallace McRae


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 04 - 10:27 PM

I think that a ship's captain has to be in international waters to perform a marriage. So, Bee-Dubya, if you want to take your paddleboat oh, say, twenty miles or so offshore, you can have at it. Best hurry, though, 'cause hurrican season quickly approacheth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Sbs
Date: 01 Aug 04 - 10:10 PM

Speaking of Shatner, he just delivered a whole essay on what women want on the thread devoted to that useful subject!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Aug 04 - 09:59 PM

The captain of a ship can perform marriage ceremonies, right? What about the captains of airliners or the drivers of Greyhound buses. And how big does the boat have to be before the captain is allowed to marry people. I have a paddle-boat in my pond that could, maybe, hold three people. Does that mean I could perform marriages in my paddleboat.

If I had a boat, I'd sail it on the ocean
And if I had a pony, I'd ride it on my boat.
We could all together, go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat.

Lyle Lovett


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 01 Aug 04 - 08:33 PM

Yes Rapper! The King khnows!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 04 - 02:54 PM

You know what it's like when you sort of unfocus your eyes, like maybe after you've been staring at a purple dot on a yellow background and when you look away you see the dot and you focus on that instead of something farther away and then you sort of maybe think you see something moving at the edge of your peripheral vision, or maybe out beyond the dot you're focusing on, only when you actually do focus on it there's nothing there and you wonder if somehow you've see something unknowable, or somehow been in touch with a whole new, but unseen, world that exists parallel to our own "regular" world?

Me neither.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 01 Aug 04 - 11:06 AM

let's all get out the lemon oil and wax poetic!

j


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 04 - 11:04 AM

What you mean "soon", Two-Dogs-Fucking?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Aug 04 - 08:40 AM

Ha! "Dealt with"? I beg your pardon! Nothing is ever fully "dealt with" here in the wastelands of MOAB! You may think "quoth" is dead and buried, but it will raise its ugly head again at some point. It's inevitable. The number of words in the English language is large but finite. The amount of BS on the MOAB is "infinity minus one or, maybe, and one-half". That means that all subjects broached on the MOAB will, eventually, come back up for air at some time in the future. MOAB is a giant Catherine wheel of BS upon which we are merely pinned like bugs in some fifth-grader's insect collection, doomed to spew the same inanities again and again and again and...

Anyway, we'll all get old and decrepit soon and forget that we ever discussed "quoth" in the first place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Aug 04 - 02:15 AM

I see "quoth" has been dealt with--you guys have moved from Poe to ho. What dexterity! I can almost see Shatner's hand in this!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 04 - 03:56 PM

Awww, wodda Guy!. Nicely turned, LH!! You da man!!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 04 - 03:47 PM

Ha! You could be right. I am awash in humility and regret. Next time I shall take her in my arms and ignore the cigarettes. After all, who's perfect?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 04 - 01:21 PM

How odd -- this immortal being, scintillating with awareness, whose path intersects yours after thirty-three thousand two hundred and eleven lifetimes since your last encounter out beyond Deneb III, this manifestation of Eternal life and consciousness, this Cosmic playmate and companion across the millenia. And suddenly, there she is again, after thousands of years apart. And what do you see? What is it your delicately tuned awareness picks out from the chaos of raw sensory information?

A slit skirt and purple lipstick. What a mindless, degraded inventory of apperception.

Perhaps it was not she of whom she spoke, but thee!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 04 - 12:59 PM

I came home and opened the door. There was this Chinese girl in a slit skirt and purple lipstick. She had a cigaretter holder too. Must not have known I don't smoke. She said, "Where you been?" I said, "Who are you?" She said, "I da ho."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 04 - 12:53 PM

None of my phone numbers (7 lines at work, one at home, and cell phone) end in 8446. Never have had one like that, either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 10:41 PM

Damn! Amos got post #4222 which made my post #4223 which is half of #8446. I don't know now nor, to the best of my knowledge, have I ever known anyone whose phone number ends or ended in "8446".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 10:31 PM

With this post (#4222) we are half-way to post #8444. This is significant because "8444" is or was the last four digits of the phone number of someone who is or was important enough to me that I remember that "8444" is or was the last four digits of his or her phone number. But I have no idea to whom that number belongs or belonged. Hell, it may have even been my own phone number at one time, though I'm reasonably certain it is not part of my current phone number.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 10:25 PM

The y may be tough but they's dumb. Point isn't whether they spit er swallow, but what they say being INtelligent.

Now they got themselves believing they derived their tongue from Pre-clockwise Chaucerian Anti-establishmentarian Antediluibian Engelsk, and everyone knows that's just Rapair havin' his little fun.

They been took by a master, but took nonetheless...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 10:22 PM

Hi, Yore Majesty! How's the Royal 'Nads hangin'?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 10:15 PM

Okay, you're a madman. Whatever it takes to make you happy....

Idahoers are tough. Afore they talk, they SWALLERS that chaw.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 10:12 PM

Call me a madman, if it affirms your existence & consoles your dizzy emotions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 07:47 PM

Rapeer, how 'em Idaho boys tawk thet funny sounin' sissy shit wid they mouf's fulla chaw? Ah knows summa 'em boys gotta chaw 'causa all 'em milishas an' such ya'll got out yonder. Semi-autos an' Redman jus' goes t'gether lack grits an' ham. Tha's wye we tawks all mushmouthed lack this down 'eer in Bubbalan'. 'Cause we's so useta tawkin' wid a mouf fulla chaw thet it don' matter wether we really got a chaw er not. We tawks jus' th' same ennyhow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 07:28 PM

Wal than it is shore sompn else yore fuller, but yer shore fuller sompn...mebbe cobalt radioactive waste er sompn like thet there. Copper sulfate er sky-pee er whatever, it's jes' anuther name for bool-sheet iffen you esk me.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 06:30 PM

I just looked and my eyes are a deep, romantic, blue -- the blue of a sea in which a woman could fall and drown in delight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 04:43 PM

Dear Sir:

Yore so fuller sheet yor eyes are brown an you know it too. Ah wouldn' piss in yore ear if yore brain were afahr. Them Ancient Ahdaho's you spake of were no t no way talkin' lahk you hev 'em talkin. Yore just plumb fuller it. Thet's all Ah kin say.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 04:37 PM

Be Blessed. :-) Yeah, that's right! I'm talkin' to you! Who didja think I was talkin' to you? I was talkin' to you! (voice of Al Pacino)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 04:25 PM

Linear A still awaits.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 01:02 PM

I've always had a hankerin' to do a dissertation on Ancient Phonetican; myself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 12:59 PM

My Dear Sirs,

Unless you are completely familiar with the dialect from which Idahoan derived, you are pissing in your hats. The Northernmost quadrant of the Western half of East South Eastern Midlands Middle English dialect bears almost no resemblance to the dialect of Chaucer. Indeed, it is so obscure that it rarely deviates into sense (as John Dryden so cunningly put it, although he was describing something else). Coupling that with the natural evolution of language, environmental factors necessitating changes, and the general demands of daily communication generate such contemporary sentiments as "YEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW! I'm a-bringin' them thpudth ta the KO-ral fer brandin'! Giddyup, Horthe!"

Please remember to empty your hats before returning them to your pates, and I remain,

Your humble and devoted thervant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 12:32 PM

this is a subject that could be beaten to doth.

errr...."to death"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 12:27 PM

Right you are MM -- I was so incensed at the casual abuse of Ancient Lingo that I made two errors in my post. "Doeth" had been mis-connected with third person plural (they). It correctly associates with third person singular (He doth protest o'ermuch....).

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,mmARIO
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 12:22 PM

Even in Olde Myddle Idohoan?

But isn't "we" first person plural, not second?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 12:19 PM

Rapire:

Speaketh is third person singular, not second plural, Mister Rapaire. "Doeth" is a singular verb, spelled "doth", and does not take the third person or the infinitive construction. The "-eth" ending does not accompany gerunds or transient verb forms such as "awaiting".

Methinks the bullshiter doth protest too much!! For you see, his eyes are open!

(Aye, but their SENSE is shut!!).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 09:11 AM

Out here in Idaho we speaketh Middle English all the time, but then, this ith a pretty conthervative thtate. Jutht yethterday I wath thipping my horn of mead when thix Viking Bertherkerth tharted thwinging thwordth and axeth around. Fortunately, the polithe came and shot them with tranquilither dartth before they could doeth much damage. They are now in the County Gaol awaitingth execution.

And if you thinketh that ith harsh and cruel, you should theeth want they do to folkth who jaywalk.

You see, when I post to mudcat I translate from Idahoan -- a variant of the Northernmost quadrant of the Wester half of East South Eastern Midlands Middle English dialect -- to contemporary English. The above (a true happening) is representative of actual Idaho speech.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 09:02 AM

Pronunciation: kw?th or kw?th

v. t.
1.
Said; spoke; uttered; - used only in the first and third persons in the past tenses, and always followed by its nominative, the word or words said being the object; as, quoth I, quoth he.

As BWL says, from an archaic Old English verb no longer in use.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 08:49 AM

Actually, "quoth" is the past tense of the Middle English verb "quethen". "Quoth" has remained in the language while "quethen" has dropped out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 08:42 AM

totally OT (even for MOAB) - but I'm wondering if Corridus is perhaps related to the hamster that J. Kerry performed CPR on?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 08:23 AM

quoth has no present tense? - well, I'll quote you on that one..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 08:20 AM

So, if "quoth" is strictly a past tense verb that has no present tense form, is it unique? Can anyone think of any other verbs that don't have a present tense?

By the way, congrats to SRS for posting #4200 which is, of course, "the answer X 100". Hmmm.... Perhaps the question has something to do with "quoth". Perhaps if we truly understand "quoth" we'll be able to fly and generate "Somebody Else's Problem" fields and.... Nah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 01:43 AM

Panel five, both birds:
Editor: You said The Ravens were more popular than the Beatles.
Nigel: Look. I never said that. . .

Last Panel, both birds:
Nigel: I was mis-quothed.


4200


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 01:42 AM

Panel three, both Editor and Nigel:
Sure mate, always glad to speak to the press.

Panel four, editor:
During your band's "Nevermore" tour. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 01:42 AM

I'd been reading a cartoon I copied from Shoe

First panel, Skylar, the young bird, talks to the elder editor bird:

Sky: Wow! We're gonna see the Ravens! I can't believe it!!!

Old bird: Wait here, Sky. I'm supposed to go back stage and interview their lead singer, Nigel Wrath.

Panel two, Old bird:
Excuse me! Nigel? Can I speak with you a second?

(to be continued)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jul 04 - 12:20 AM

"Quoth" is a past tense verb. It means pretty much the same thing as "said". "Said" is the past tense of "say". So what's "quoth" the past tense of? Don't say it's "quote" because the past tense of "quote" is "quoted".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 04 - 10:59 PM

That was 2000, MM -- not this time...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 29 Jul 04 - 03:11 PM

but Myth-calibration will win - due to an error in judgement


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 04 - 03:07 PM

Myth Quote, Myth Understanding and Myth Underestimation have all come out and signed up for the Myth America contest...

A


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Mudcat time: 25 September 7:47 AM EDT

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