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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 10 Dec 03 - 09:44 PM
khandu 10 Dec 03 - 09:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Dec 03 - 08:30 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 03 - 05:45 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Dec 03 - 04:00 PM
Little Hawk 10 Dec 03 - 03:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Dec 03 - 01:17 PM
Amos 10 Dec 03 - 12:39 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 03 - 12:27 PM
Little Hawk 10 Dec 03 - 12:09 PM
khandu 09 Dec 03 - 08:59 PM
Little Hawk 09 Dec 03 - 06:33 PM
Amos 09 Dec 03 - 02:27 PM
Rustic Rebel 09 Dec 03 - 02:19 PM
Amos 09 Dec 03 - 12:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Dec 03 - 11:30 AM
Rapparee 09 Dec 03 - 11:27 AM
Little Hawk 09 Dec 03 - 11:17 AM
Rapparee 09 Dec 03 - 09:11 AM
Amos 09 Dec 03 - 08:50 AM
Rustic Rebel 09 Dec 03 - 04:17 AM
Rustic Rebel 09 Dec 03 - 03:52 AM
Little Hawk 09 Dec 03 - 12:19 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Dec 03 - 12:13 AM
khandu 09 Dec 03 - 12:03 AM
Amos 08 Dec 03 - 11:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Dec 03 - 11:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Dec 03 - 11:27 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 03 - 11:26 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 03 - 11:08 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 03 - 09:49 PM
khandu 08 Dec 03 - 09:47 PM
Amos 08 Dec 03 - 08:00 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 03 - 07:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Dec 03 - 06:59 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 03 - 05:16 PM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 03 - 03:51 PM
Rapparee 08 Dec 03 - 01:23 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 08 Dec 03 - 11:56 AM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 03 - 11:52 AM
Rapparee 08 Dec 03 - 11:18 AM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 03 - 09:34 AM
Little Hawk 08 Dec 03 - 12:03 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Dec 03 - 12:02 AM
Rapparee 07 Dec 03 - 11:01 PM
khandu 07 Dec 03 - 10:56 PM
khandu 07 Dec 03 - 10:49 PM
Rapparee 07 Dec 03 - 10:41 PM
khandu 07 Dec 03 - 10:16 PM
khandu 07 Dec 03 - 09:55 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 09:44 PM

I had in mind something like Woodstock 1. A gathering of peace, love, and BS. Motherstock. MOABstock. MOABmont. Too many people, too few latrines or portapotties, lots of bad dope, days of rain and mud.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 09:36 PM

Is MOAB becoming a circle jerk? Who's holding the bucket?

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 08:30 PM

Well, my suggestion of Arches National Park was based solely on its proximity to Moab, Utah. I've never been there. In fact, the only place I've ever been in Utah is the Salt Lake City airport. But I should have known that it would be overrun with SUV's. Edward Abbey was bemoaning its slide toward industrial tourism back in the 60's when he wrote Desert Solitaire.

But if you wanna have it at something like a farm, I will gladly donate the use of my humble homestead. We have eight acres with access to 60 more acres behind us that nobody lives on. It's mostly uncleared woods, but we've made lots of paths through them so people can get lost wandering around behind the little animals. We have a one-acre pond with an island in the middle and banks that form a natural amphitheatre and it's wired for sound. All we'd have to do is build a stage and dig a couple of latrines (I don't think our indoor composting toilet could handle the crowd). Lotsa snakes and possums and armadillos wanderin' around at night to get in people's tents (I'm assuming camping is cool with everyone - no motels for many miles and you can't all stay in my little two-room cabin).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 05:45 PM

We lure Britney to the gathering and sell her. Over and over and over and over and over and you get the idea. Nothing tawdry, mind you, just dinner and a drink. This here's a genteel gentile operation.

Bee dubya ell, please reconsider that site you suggested. It's full of yuppies on unicycles and suchlike trash pretty much year 'round.   Maybe we could find a farm or something nearby to rent for the festival.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 04:00 PM

Damn, LH! We haven't even worked out how to pay the paltry few thousand bucks The Shat wants and you're wanting to book Barbi and Britney to boot? Man! Those bitches charge some big bucks.

How 'bout we just go down to a couple of strip clubs and find the two dancers that look the most like B & B and offer 'em...

Naw! That wouldn't work either. The one that looks like Britney's probably gettin' more money stuffed in her garter than than Bill Gates makes, and the one that looks like Barbara, well... what strip club owner would hire a dancer that looks like Barbara? They don't let 'em dance with bags over their heads, do they?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 03:22 PM

Very neat sites, people, and they all look about large enough to complement Mr Shatner's persona adequately. I wonder if we could book in Barbra and Britney as well?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 01:17 PM

Nope. Gotta be HERE. Why? Because it's within spittin' distance of Moab, Utah.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 12:39 PM

A site reflecting Shatner's elevated consciousness is in order, such as this one, for certain.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 12:27 PM

LH, what's your cut?

I suggest that the site chosen reflect Mr. Shatner's abilities. Perhaps
here or maybe here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 12:09 PM

Have been in touch with Mr Shatner. He was reasonably positive to the idea of a Mudcat gathering in his honour, provided that Peg jumps out of the cake and he is paid a small honorarium of say, a few thousand dollars, for showing up and giving a speech.

So...who wants to provide a venue for this event? And how do we raise the cash?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 08:59 PM

Rustic Rebel rambling, refreshing,reflecting, relieving,,rendezvousing,repairing,responding, resounding,resting, resurrecting, reassuring,retroflexing,runtricate road is exacactly what I was gonna name the most beautiful gravel road in downtown MOAB, MS!!

Indeedy...great minds are at work!!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 06:33 PM

I didn't know that cat shit was capable of mutation. Interesting.

Yes, well, Britney is a sort of ephemeral creature to be selected as a deity, but she's the best candidate we have just at the moment for the number 3 position. I'm sure that others will come along in due time.

Bee-dub, you are right. Shatner will NEVER be unseated! He is omnipotence personified.

As for Streisand, she has always viewed herself as a deity anyway, from what I've heard. I can't wait to hear her do an album of duets with Big Bill. They could team up on "Proud Mary", and Britney could dance in the video.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 02:27 PM

RR --

I understand and am often tempted to wander down that path my own self -- and always regret it when I do!! Lately I have been fighting it off in order to appease the Great Godhead Bathroomius Scalius, whose condemnation is without bounds and whose power reaches all parts of mortal life.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 02:19 PM

Thank-you Amos, for your eloquent summation on my state of inebriation, and your caring words. Yes, I do feel like mutated cat shit today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 12:58 PM

I sincerely doubt that the Being Known as Britney Spears has gone very far within, certainly is not timeless, and would most likely have little to offer in the way of divine insight. However,this being a BS thread, anything may be admitted no matter how ridiculous!.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 11:30 AM

Well, as reflected in my post of 08 Dec 03 - 11:27 PM, I also have some reservations about including Ms Spears in the Holy Trinity. As I pointed out, she is not entirely personally responsible for the BS that surrounds her. It is the product of a huge massive BS producing machine and she is just the pustule at the center. Furthermore, she is so young that it is conceivable that she may yet realize the error of her ways and become something of far more use to society than the caricature of a musical performer that is her current persona. It's not too late for her to embark on a worthwhile career as a lap dancer, but she better get a move on before they start to sag. I'd put a dollar bill in her garter, but I damn sure wouldn't by her CD's.

Anyway, who said that the Holy Trinity of BS has to be a static, permanent, unchanging thing? Is it not in the nature of BS to be slippery, slimy and hard to hold onto? I say that we should anoint Holy Trinity of BS as proposed with the stipulation that none of the positions need be absolutely permanent. If someone with a higher BS quotient comes along, someone just might get bumped (though it's really hard to imagine anyone unseating Shatner).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 11:27 AM

So, then, (and I'm trying to understand, being but a wanderer on this plane of existence myself) the Trinity has Gone Beyond the dimensionality in which we exist and has found their own Way And Place, somewhere Outside? And that They appear to us as They do because we can perceive only small fraction of Themselves? Could They be looking inwardly so much that They endanger themselves into becoming Philosophical and Theological Black Holes? And if so, do They shine all the brighter from Their other ends?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 11:17 AM

Exactly. Time doesn't exist for the Divine, except as a device by which to measure change in an illusory world which equates to a sort of ongoing stage play. We are in that play, where illusion is the order of the day, and the boundaries are secured by Trinity. (up, down, and sideways)

Now if 4 dimensions turns your crank, then work with the Native American traditions or the old Earth religions (fire, water, air, and earth) or a number of others. It's a perfectly valid approach also. You can also work with divisions of 5, 6, or 7 or more. They ALL work. 7 is particularly interesting, and is found in the Native American traditions as well as 4. According to Native tradition, there are 7 directions: up, down, left, right, in front, behind, and within! (the last is the most mysterious of all, and it is in mastering the last that one finds Truth or enlightenment, timelessness, and Eternity).

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 09:11 AM

No, LH, WE live in a four-dimensional universe, the fourth being Time. Being Eternal, any Trinity must perforce exist in a Universe where Time doesn't exist. There would be the three dimensions we are so familiar with, but not Time. Instead there would be another dimension (or perhaps more), call it Timelessness. Since your Holy Trinity of Billy, Barby, and Britty would exist in this Other Dimensionality, both they are their music would be Timeless, Eternal.

Perhaps, when you achieve Nirvana or Valhalla or Heaven or whatever you will find yourself surrounded by their Songs and enfolded into Their cosmic Group.





















"Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company," as Mark Twain said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 08:50 AM

Awwww RR, you do say the sweetest unintelligible things!

I just hope you took some aspirin last night and got plenty of sleep!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 04:17 AM

P.S.- I'm inclined to think I should also have a gravel road named after myself. I bow to the merciful road namer and would like to submit- Rustic Rebel rambling, refreshing,reflecting, relieving,,rendezvousing,repairing,responding, resounding,resting, resurrecting, reassuring,retroflexing,runtricate road.
Thank-you for consideration and I will be in your unmost debt, if you take me seriously.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 03:52 AM

I can't even read this bullshit entirly. All I read is you all are making Brittany Spears somekind of 'figure'into this wonderfully enlightening thread for humankind, and it makes me want to go out to my favorite puking tree and puke.
I thought we had more class than that, but in the past I have been known to be corrected, and in the future I am sure someone will try to fuck with my way of thinking and try to correct me again.
All I am saying... is you can put class into a spear, but you can't take the spear out of the...
No I'm not saying that, that was another self, unfamiliar to me,
You can take the spear out of the jar, and then you can eat it with a self indulgent fear that it was too young to have even opened the jar,
no.... I think I was once again invaded by a spirit I am not familiar with,
What I really want to say is, you boys ought to get yourselves a hobby.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 12:19 AM

No, Amos, a Trinity is essential as the lynchpin to this whole reality, because we LIVE in a 3-dimensional existence! Therefore, a tripartite deity is necessary to stand behind this reality, even including BS.

If we lived in a 2 dimensional World, we'd all be flat, and that would cause the complete collapse of several important industries, such as Wonderbra, for example.

If we lived in a 1 dimensional World, everything would be compressed into a tiny singularity, and we would have no concept of individual identities whatsoever.

Therefore, the Trinity is a very essential aspect of divinity in our cosmos. You don't have to be Catholic or even Christian to understand that.

Could Britney be...the Messiah of BS??? The Promised One???

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 12:13 AM

The Holy Triumvirate... a device for the purposes of spirichool obfuscatoration? Perhaps the one them Catholics been spoutin' about fer hunnerts of years, but not

The Holy Trinity of BS!

As long as there is BS in the Universe, some BS will be BSier than other BS. The Holy Trinity of BS merely brings together three human individuals whose personal BS is of exceedingly fine quality. Why a Trinity? Because it has long been known that three is a special number. How many sides to a triangle? Three. How many legs on a milking stool? Three. How many tits on a boar hog? Lots more than three! Why? Because they're useless. If they served any function there'd only be three of 'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 12:03 AM

And Brittany is from Mississippi!!!! Home of MOAB!!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:52 PM

Well as long as it is clearly understood we are talking about bullshit, here....And as for this Holy Triumvirate, what the hell d'you need that for? I allus thought it was a device for the purposes of spirichool obfuscatoration, I did....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:32 PM

Ach! Little Hawk's post wasn't yet up when I started composing mine. His logic is impeccable. The Father, Mother, Child thing is the capper. Britney it is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:27 PM

Ms Spears is a possibility there, Rapaire. There is definitely a heap of BS around the girl. Unfortunately most of it is not of her own making. It's mostly the product of the music industry publicity machine. Britney has been made into something way beyond her own control by people who've seen an opportunity to make money off of her. Given her own resources she'd probably be making a decent living as a topless dancer. She is not personally responsible for the BS around her. Shatner and Streisand, on the other hand, are 100% responsible for their own BS.

Let's call Britney a maybe. If nobody better comes along, she just might have to do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:26 PM

"And deliver us from Rap"

Don't drag me into it!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:08 PM

The search is over! It is definitely Britney Spears who is the 3rd member of the Holy Trinity of BS!!!

Shatner is the Holy Father, Streisand is the Holy Mother, Britney is the Holy Child.

This is so utterly cosmic that I am nearly at a loss for words.

(If I were though, I would not have posted the above...which is why I said "nearly".)

Our Bill who art in Hollywood
Hallowed be thy name
Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done
Even in places like Schenectady
Give us this day more dramatic pauses
And cease not thy recording of unmatchable songs
Regardless of what the Philistines may say
And deliver us from Rap
For thine is the Kingdom, the Power, and the Glory
And thy horses are really neat too

I leave it to the other members of the New Religion to compose appropriate verses of worship for Streisand and Spears...

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 09:49 PM

Brittany Spears?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 09:47 PM

bill sables?
Brent Spiner?
Brett Sommers?
Barry Sullivan?
Bick Shay? (Tweed)
Bamos Sessup?
Bittle Sawk?
Bats Spaw49?

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 08:00 PM

Bobby Shafto, who has gone to sea, with silver buckles on his knee.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 07:04 PM

george BuSh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 06:59 PM

Sometime back it was determined that both Bill Shatner and Barbara Streisand are worthy of the title of

*** HOLY BS ***


Now, it is traditional to have holy things occur in threes. To have absolute, total, unquestioned legitimacy, the

*** HOLY BS ***


should exist as a trinity. After all, three is a magic number. I know that 'cause they told me so on "Schoolhouse Rock".

Therefore, we MOABites must embark upon yet another quest!

Oh boy! We really, really, really like quests! Yippee!!!!

The search for the third member of the

*** HOLY TRINITY OF BS ***


must begin immediately! The requirements are 1) he or she must have the initials "BS" (though either initial may stand for a given name, nickname, or stage name), and 2) he or she must in some way embody the spirit of BS. In other words, he or she must be full of shit. He or she may be a live person, a dead person, a fictitious person or even a cartoon (though anyone who mentions Bart Simpson may be itchin' for a fight).

Please submit your nominations to this thread at your earliest convenience.

(It is unfortunate that the governor of California is named "Arnold" instead of "Bertold" or there would be no need for this quest.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 05:16 PM

Yeah, LH. Here ya go. They've only been used once before, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 03:51 PM

Oh...I am so overwhelmed! If I was a smoker, I would need a cigarette right now. Anybody got tissues?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 01:23 PM

Well, LH, you had to ask....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:56 AM

Well, hi there, mudcatlings. Got a life yet? Things are going very well indeed, and I am just as pleased as punch. If you need any tips on becoming a legend in your own time, just give me a call...

- William Shatner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:52 AM

OH! Oh! Oh! The suspense! Post 1500 could be only seconds away! Who will initiate the moment of truth?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:18 AM

Little Hawk (et Lafayette!)! Je suis retournee!

Now let's go whup Kaiser Bill!

Over there, over there
It's a long way to tip a raree
Fairwell Herald Square
The Yanks are comin' born on the Fourth of July.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 09:34 AM

What? No one here all night? Shameful! We are nearing 1500 glorious posts.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 12:03 AM

In Blind River that would be worse than a sentence of death!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 12:02 AM

I once met a woman from Moab, Utah. She was a fellow artist in a show in which my wife was showing and selling her quilts. She special-ordered a quilt from my wife and we were going to drive to Moab and deliver it when it was ready. Why were we going to drive from Florida to Utah to deliver the thing when UPS could do it for ten bucks? Because the woman was a friend of Edward Abbey and she told me that if we came out to Moab she would introduce us. I was stoked. Ed Abbey - eco-radical - author of Desert Solitaire and The Monkeywrench Gang - a man who hated what they were doing to his beloved desert as much as I hated what they were doing to my beloved beaches. I was gonna go to Moab, Utah and drink beer with Ed Abbey!

And then the fucker went and died before I could get out there. And his friends stole his body from the funeral home and took it out into the desert that he loved so much and buried it and nobody knows where it is. And we never got to drink that beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 11:01 PM

You mean I gotta go go church and can't buy beer?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 10:56 PM

HAW!!!
Look at the third post to MOAB!:

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Allan C. - PM
Date: 05 May 03 - 08:41 PM

Not to burst your bubble, Khandu, but this has been tried before with such things as birthdays, welcome-to-new-members, remarks from trolls, and a few others - always with rapidly diminishing results.

Just how big was that bubble anyway?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"always with rapidly diminishing results", hahahahah!!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 10:49 PM

Anyone know the record on # of posts to a thread? If so, which thread?

Oh, Rapaire, every day is Sunday in MOAB City!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 10:41 PM

Wow! To get your Royal Headdress on Sunday must have cost 'em a fortune! Of course, I'm certain that it was worth every single penny.

(Did you note that this is getting close to fifteen hundred posts? One thousand, five hundred times words of wisdom will have been added. A veritable fount of all knowledge, indeed!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 10:16 PM

HAW!!!! There is much celebrating in MOAB City tonight!! Some wonderful soul just Fed-Exed me my Royal Headdress which has been missing since my forced stay at the NYCFTTS!!!!!

Bless you, whoever you are!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 09:55 PM

BWL has once again excelled and risen to the office of K.O.T.!!!

Kk


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