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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 03 Aug 12 - 10:34 AM
Rapparee 03 Aug 12 - 09:40 AM
Rapparee 02 Aug 12 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 12 - 06:09 PM
Amos 02 Aug 12 - 03:45 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 12 - 02:30 PM
Acme 02 Aug 12 - 12:22 PM
Amos 02 Aug 12 - 11:50 AM
Rapparee 02 Aug 12 - 10:00 AM
Acme 02 Aug 12 - 12:54 AM
Rapparee 02 Aug 12 - 12:16 AM
Amos 01 Aug 12 - 11:41 AM
Rapparee 01 Aug 12 - 09:09 AM
Rapparee 31 Jul 12 - 10:20 PM
Amos 31 Jul 12 - 10:05 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 12 - 09:05 PM
Acme 31 Jul 12 - 08:58 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 12 - 03:02 PM
Amos 31 Jul 12 - 12:57 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 31 Jul 12 - 12:32 PM
Amos 31 Jul 12 - 11:49 AM
Amos 31 Jul 12 - 09:41 AM
Rapparee 31 Jul 12 - 09:21 AM
Rapparee 30 Jul 12 - 08:17 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 30 Jul 12 - 08:00 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 12 - 06:31 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 12 - 06:21 PM
Amos 30 Jul 12 - 06:12 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 12 - 05:25 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jul 12 - 02:45 PM
Amos 30 Jul 12 - 02:38 PM
Acme 30 Jul 12 - 01:55 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 12 - 09:14 AM
Amos 30 Jul 12 - 01:10 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 12 - 08:34 PM
Rapparee 29 Jul 12 - 06:27 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 12 - 05:31 PM
Amos 29 Jul 12 - 03:31 PM
gnu 29 Jul 12 - 02:50 PM
Rapparee 29 Jul 12 - 02:42 PM
Amos 29 Jul 12 - 01:04 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 12 - 12:41 PM
Rapparee 29 Jul 12 - 09:53 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 12 - 01:55 AM
Amos 29 Jul 12 - 01:10 AM
Acme 28 Jul 12 - 11:38 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 12 - 11:02 PM
Amos 28 Jul 12 - 08:24 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 12 - 07:24 PM
Amos 28 Jul 12 - 07:11 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 12 - 10:34 AM

Worm casings!

BTW if you have not read Cloud Atlas, by David Mitchell I recommend it most highly. A tour de force.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Aug 12 - 09:40 AM

Vampires! Vampyres!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 10:31 PM

GREENWOOD
Peter Yarrow- ©1973 Pepamar Music ASCAP

I've seen a thousand people kneel in silence
And I've seen them face the rifles with their songs
I always thought that we could end the killing
But now I live in fear that I was wrong

The killer and the cynic waltz together
Their eyes are turned into their skulls
They do not feel the bullets in the bodies
They do not hear the dolphins or the gulls

If we do these things in the greenwood,
what will happen in the dry?

If we don't stop there'll come a time when women
With barren wombs will bitterly rejoice
With breasts that dry and never fill with promise
Gladly they'll not suckle one more life

Is this then the whimper and the ending?
The impotence of people raised on fear,
A fear that blinds the sense of common oneness
Common love and life or death are here

If we do these things in the greenwood,
what will happen in the dry?

Will no one light the candle in the darkness
Will no one be my guide, not let me fall
I've lost the sense that tells me where the path is
I feel the chill of winter in my soul

There's no way I can say the words more plainly
There's no one left to point at anymore
It's you and me and we must make the choice now
And not destroy the life we're living for

If we do these things in the greenwood,
what will happen in the dry?
If we do these things in the greenwood,
what will happen in the dry?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 06:09 PM

Exactement, mon vieux, exactement. Como un caballero no voy a explicar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 03:45 PM

Oublier je disais quelque chose autour de les demoiselles...il y a quelques-unes truc le meilleur pas regardé en trop de profondément

"Forget I said some thing around some ladies...there are someones thing the better not viewed in too much deepness."


Ah, les Americains!! Quelle finesse!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 02:30 PM

Oublier je disais quelque chose autour de les demoiselles...il y a quelques-unes truc le meilleur pas regardé en trop de profondément.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 12:22 PM

These days an unearthed tree frog wouldn't shiver in the sunlight, it would shrivel into a raisin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 11:50 AM

I love it when his literary soul is temporarily exposed, shivering in the sunlight like an unearthed treefrog...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 10:00 AM

I know the art of metapyrics...does that count? I learned it when I was very young. When I was young and innocent and before I lost my youth and winning grin to The Knowledge Of The World and the defenses of poesy of Phillip Sidney. Oh, to have again my youthful innocence and joy! Alas, it is all lost to me now, buried under the rubble of a life, if not well-lived, at least fully lived! So I shall not lament and weep for what once was, and shall simply let the pen of Time write "Paid" to those poker winnings (and the interest appertaining thereto) owed to me since 1966 and to the allegations that my four aces were obtained by manual dexterity and the use of a shiner rather than a smile from Dame Fortune. Oh, ou est l'argent (et les demoiselles) d'antan?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 12:54 AM

I love that one Amos. You need to record it.

It hit 109 here today. It's getting a little warmish again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 12 - 12:16 AM

Mom! Hanging around with failed drug tests and Mitt Romney! Really!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 11:41 AM

(Fade in, Eagles-style steels and guitar backup)

Desperado--
You better come to your senses.
You been mixing up tenses
And confusing the truth
ANd ya know, freedom?
Well, it's yours for the betting
But there's no sense regretting
Your long-vanished youth.

Don't ya mess around with honesty
It won't getcha where you're going
THe open straight is always your best shot.
And it seems to me you oughta try
To do a better job of knowing
'Cause it's never cool to tell yourself you're hot. Oh,

Desperado,
You oughta take up line dancin'
And foreswear naked prancing
In the meadow at night.
'Cause ya know, moonlight,
Well, it just doesn't suit ya,
And some rancher might shoot ya
Before the dawn light.

Whatcha really truly do deserve
Is to live in some fine mansion
Where the servants all run hot and cold for you
But you'll never make that scene until
You learn the art of scansion
And rhyme and maybe metaphorics, too!

Oh, Desperado...(fade out on loop)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 12 - 09:09 AM

No, I'm a gun-flinger. I fling guns at people. Got New York Jake right in the tummy with a .45 just yesterday afternoon. Used the old side-arm throw from the left side, like a frisbee. Doubled him right over.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 10:20 PM

Alright, she left here so inebriated that her son had to drive her home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 10:05 PM

Rapp:

You are an insensitive wank-wit, a shadow-flinger, a wastrel and a do-no-good. I send you fie.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 09:05 PM

Eiseley was here and left here sober!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 08:58 PM

I have a lot of good microphones that were my dad's - they go back to the 80' and 90's. Do you suppose they can match today's electronics?

Looks like 21 posts till a nice spinner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 03:02 PM

Heck, you'll probably have a COMPLETELY solo gig...no audience. But as I hope to get away I'll be happy to sit in the front row, eat watermelon, and spit the seeds at you. Extra points if any go into that hole in the guitar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 12:57 PM

Honestly, I do not think riches and fame are in my destiny. I can make do in retirement and record some stuff and perhaps that will suffice, maybe even sell some CDs if I am lucky, under my "Mudcat Amos" brand.

Hey!! I'm doing a solo gig for thirty minutes at the Getaway this year!! Puff me up and call me fatty!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 12:32 PM

Will ya still talk to us when yer rich and famous?

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 11:49 AM

One of my forward-looking projects is laying down recordings of a lot of songs. To that end I have just ordered the incomparable A&H mixer seen here as well as this inimitable studio microphone. Soon I will be a rock star! Mwahahaha....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 09:41 AM

I'd like to go to Nova Scotia again. Been a while.

I AM going to Raleigh/Durham.

And I have five weeks of work left.

And there's this ketch in the Bahamas...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 12 - 09:21 AM

MOM!! You're NOT going to Nova Scotia, so stop hanging around in the gutter talking to that other thread about it! Yes, it's a nice enough place but you know you just want to know if everyone wears kilts. They don't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 08:17 PM

Yeah, you did. Wimp. Anybody can deal with cheetahs and stuff, but nuns??? In a parochial school??? Why, Sister Mary de Sade alone traumatized a whole generation. My mother still remembered what they had done to her when she went there and would never talk about it, kinda like a veteran of horrible combat where her position had been overrun and the gunships and napalm and bombs had to be called in on herself. Whenever we'd ask about her school days she'd get that thousand-yard stare of someone who has seen too much and just sigh deeply.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 08:00 PM

Geez, Rap...you were brought up in one of them Catholic schools? With the big nuns whackin' you with rulers and stealin' yer pants and generally terrorizin' you?

Man, that explains a lot. I feel a new depth of compassion and understandin' for you that I never have before. I gotta cut you some slack in future, cos you gotta be sufferin' way worse from the past traumas than I had expected. I mean, hey, I hadda grow up in the jungle, menaced by predators and tribal hunters, and sleepin' out in the rain...but I had it easy compared to you!

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 06:31 PM

Come to think of it, Vic wasn't around much after that. Nobody really knew what happened to him. Some kids are said to have found his bloody shirt stuffed into the convent's trash can but that was just a rumor, I think. Attention was diverted shortly after that when the nuns discovered that some eighth grade boys were de-pantsing seventh grade boys in a shed on the playground and throwing their pants into the alley, forcing the seventh graders to retrieve them in their underpants. ALL eighth grade boys were confined to their classrooms, the girls taken to the gym, and the boys addressed by the Pastor about their bodies being Temples of the Holy Ghost and stuff like that. Apparently the Powers That Be thought there was some sort of homosexual orgies going on, however we had no idea what they were talking about (other than it had something to do with s*x). We all thought that it was in good clean fun. No, I don't know what the girls did while we were being lectured.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 06:21 PM

We tried that, but we're talking CATHOLIC school here Amos -- with nuns!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 06:12 PM

See, if Vic had been smart and applied apathetic indifference in carefully measured amounts, the destruction would have been much better contained.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 05:25 PM

Actually, that applies to any problem, including deriving square roots arithmetically. When we had to do that in grade school, Vic put some cherry bombs under the teacher's chair and that took care of that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 02:45 PM

Rap, that is exactly what Bush, Cheney, Wolfowitz and various other luminaries in the late 90s New World Order planning crew had in mind when they wanted to launch some wars to get control of Middle Eastern and Caspian oil....but they needed to somehow get the American public to acquiese, despite the fact that no nation in this world would be stupid enough to provide an excuse by openly attacking the USA and providing a "Pearl Harbour level event".

The answer is simple. Just as you said.

"There is no problem in politics which is so big or so complicated that it cannot be solved by the proper calculation and placement of the correct amount of high explosives." And by well orchestrated media coverage too, of course, but that's inevitable, so why worry?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 02:38 PM

You don't have to overcomplicate things--an applied dose of uncaring apathy will handle any computational problem.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 01:55 PM

High explosives be damned - simply change out the power supply and see if it works.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 09:14 AM

Back when I was winding the mainsprings and firing up the boilers that kept the computers running, we had a saying that was very apropos. Perhaps it's time to share it.

There is no problem in Computer Science which is so big or so complicated that it cannot be solved by the proper calculation and placement of the correct amount of high explosives.


It helps to remember that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 12 - 01:10 AM

They say that desperarte times call for desperate measures, but that's what they would say, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 08:34 PM

.yllis eb t'noD


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 06:27 PM

.rehtie daed on si luaP .egassem cinatas a teg ton lliw uoy sdrawkcab siht daer uoy fI


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 05:31 PM

That's exactly what Shane always says...only he adds the suffix "eh?" onto the end of it.

Sounds like it was a lovely occasion, Amos. I wish I'd been there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 03:31 PM

PErfectly right, Rapp; clearly it takes one to know one.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 02:50 PM

It's all Greek to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 02:42 PM

...Greece, where of course all Western philosophy has its roots.

Bull patooties! Them old Greeks took ideas from places like Egypt, Arabia, India, China, and even France, filed off the serial numbers, and jammed 'em all together and called it "their" philosophy. Then they made so much noise about it that people came to believe it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 01:04 PM

I think Rapp was commandeering the conversation LH was having with me, using his signature deft technique of blunt force combined with fictive narcissism.

There was a lot of conversation going on before and after the concert. I got into a long chat with the chair of the Philosophy Department, a stunningly good-looking Greek gentleman named George. Well, his name is actually Georgios Anagnostopoulos; anyway, I got to pick his brains about the decline of philosophy in western civilization.

Did you know that there is a quadri-annual convention of philosophers from all over the world, just like the Olympics? More impressive, this year's convention is being held in Greece, where of course all Western philosophy has its roots. But more impressive, did you realize this event draws fifteen thousand people as participants from all over the world? Who'd have thought there was such a community of philosophers sprinkled among our barbaric world, hiding among the heathens and the know-nothings and the grinches of modern materialism!!?? It gives hope to the weary breast, indeed it do!

The Greek government had originally committed significant assistance with funding the current year's convocation, and of course now that the economic crisis has reduced the Greek government to an international whipping boy in Oliver Twist raiments, the convention has been left in the lurch. But they are scrambling to make do and find other sources of funding.

Schick's virtuosity achieved a standing ovation. He's completely artful, selfless, engaged, present, and impassioned in his work, a joy to see in play, and self-effacing and gracious when he is not playing.

End of Report!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 12:41 PM

Actually, the enquiring minds are now sorry that they asked.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 09:53 AM

Were the benches there stained with tears and perspiration?
No, they were soaked with water but dried quickly.

Were the birdies flying from tree to tree?
No. Birdies were (and are) frying as they go from tree to tree because it's so danged hot.

Was there little to say? No conversation?
Well, Poop-Eye called Too Tall a "rotted, dry-gulching, vulture-eatin', lilly-livered, kitty-kickin', unwashed son of an unwed mother labradoodle" and Too Tall replied that Poop-Eye had odd eating, hygienic and personal habits involving boogers and body lice.

Inquiring minds want to know.
Now the inquiring minds know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 01:55 AM

Were the benches there stained with tears and perspiration?

Were the birdies flying from tree to tree?

Was there little to say? No conversation?

Inquiring minds want to know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 01:10 AM

Bit of a sticky wicket,that.

Just came back from an amazing concert by Steven Schick, who directs the La Jolla Symphony and who is possibly the world's greatest living percussionist. AN amazing performance--impassioned, rich, and executed with impeccable virtuosity on percussion instruments ranging from flower pots to tympani. Incredible. This was held at a sort of garden party in a beautiful home overlooking the Pacific from the bluffs just at the edge of the UCSD campus. The place was just frying with brilliant minds and the performance was mind-blowing. Who'd'a thunk it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 11:38 PM

Next time you need help moving earth, just let me know. I have a dog here who is lately into digging trenches. I'm sure he could do a fine job of liberating some poor soul stuck in the encrusted mud.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 11:02 PM

Ya know, just yesterday I went out to Dave's place and picked up my revolver. He'd been working on it, tuning it up you might say. What with the gunfights here every High Noon I might need it. For example, just the other day Poop-eyed Pete walked out of the PV and shot it out with Too Tall right there in the street. Bystanders ducked inside buildings or put up their umbrellas to protect themselves from the spray. The water turned the dust of the street into mud and eventually you could only tell where the two were because their hats were still afloat, so to speak. Fortunately the lava flow from the Yellowstone Caldera underlies the town so the street dried out pretty quick from the bottom up and there they stood, rising from the street like statues on an elevator. Mud dried on 'em so quick they had to be chipped out by jackhammers and the judicious use of dynamite.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 08:24 PM

No use you should pretend even knowing where it is, scumknuckle!

Ne'er the less, the 45 and five is Mine. Ands it is going straight into my retirement fund, not to some damned 501c3 for the preservation of very large numbers.


The Hero's Song

Oh forty five and five at last we meet!
We struggling mortals from the lower planes
Who over stony turns and cruel multiples
Have sought your distant flame.
Now let us spread the gladsome news
Rejoice that Mom is yet alive!
And she has blessed her sons and daughters
With this forty-five and five.
This hour has been long in coming
Nor ever shall it come again
But men may tell their children's children
Forty-five and five is claimed,
ANd it's a whole lot more than, say, ten.

Baldur Woodstock III
Historical Minstrelsy Department
University of Velleities and Misanthropic Palimpsest
Weston, Virginia, 1911


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 07:24 PM

I wouldn't THINK of demanding that we meet on the heroes' field. You know how picky those doorkeepers are and I wouldn't want you embarrassed by exclusion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 07:11 PM

It is I, the wanderig hero come
Far from the trumps, far from the drum,
Come from the Mexican valley far
Where the streets are stone, and the roads are tar.
Come to the home of the Mother high
To claim the hero's rightful pie
The 500th post of this K I claim
In sainted Isabella's name
And let no man demand I yield
Or meet me on the hero's field.


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